So Far Within Reach - un poème

Catégorie: Poésie

par Jeffrey Bates

... Un petit bateau était assis sur les rochers sur la plage
comme il approchait, il se sentait tout simplement hors de sa portée
les rames ils pondent à l'intérieur de la moitié divulgués
le vieil homme dans son fauteuil rêvé un rêve comme il somnolait.

Le flux de la montagne est descendu à la rive
Où le bateau avait rêvé de l'homme qu'il connaissait avant
Il a approché et il voyait le monde sans soins,
Comme il souffla dans le soleil, sentir l'air frais du matin.

Le vieil homme, il est passé un peu dans son fauteuil
Il avait pensé qu'il avait vu quelqu'un debout
"Get in!" Il soupira, comme il passait sur le bord,
"Le bateau est prêt et la rive est pas de couverture."

Il se tortilla une fois de plus dans sa chaise sur le porche
Le jeune homme, il se sentait pas de flamme, mais une torche.
Comme il a poussé le petit bateau sur les rochers sur la plage
Ce qui était autrefois jusqu'à présent était maintenant à portée de main.

9 février 2014

Jeff Bates

Jeffrey Bates, l'auteur et illustrateur de La Petite Bucket , a obtenu son baccalauréat ès arts de Anderson College (Université), à Anderson, Indiana dans la religion et la sociologie (1985) et une maîtrise en théologie du Séminaire théologique chrétienne, Indianapolis, Indiana (1990). Il a travaillé avec des enfants et des jeunes pour la plupart de sa carrière tout en servant les églises, à temps plein et partiel et en tant que bénévole, depuis 1986-1996 et 2011-2014. Il a complété la formation par l'aventure Nouvelle Guerrier en 1996.

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Le petit seau - un livre pour enfants - la réponse est à l'intérieur

par Boysen Hodgson


Nouveau Guerrier frère Jeffrey Bates (Bedford, dans l'Indiana, 1996), a écrit un conte pour enfants mythiques appelé Le petit seau . Avec une voix poétique et illustrations uniques Le petit seau est le voyage d'un héros qui va animer et stimuler l'imagination. Le livre enseigne au sujet de l'empathie, les frontières, comment comprendre l'intimidation, demander de l'aide, et aussi sur ce que ça fait de se sentir seul et perdu et ne sais pas quoi faire à ce sujet.

Quand je suis arrivé le livre de Jeff plus tôt ce printemps, je l'ai partagé avec mes filles adoptives. Ils ont tous deux apprécié l'histoire, et il a ouvert une beaucoup plus grande conversation sur ce que cela signifie pour regarder à l'intérieur quand les choses sont difficiles. Dans une culture sans beaucoup de modèles forts pour l'intelligence émotionnelle ou la responsabilité personnelle, cela est une histoire qui peut ouvrir certaines portes. Il remet en cause les modes de blâme et de la honte qui peut se embarqués si rapidement dans la psyché de l'enfant. Je l'ai renvoyé aux messages de Le Petit Bucket lorsque l'on travaille avec mes filles pour leur rappeler que le ce qui se passe sur le «dehors» est seulement une infime partie de la réalité ... les trucs BIG est à l'intérieur.

Les illustrations thématiques sont doux et coloré. La poésie coule à chaque tour de la page que l'histoire se déplace à travers la perte et de la révélation d'une réponse mystérieuse au problème.

Un membre a commenté, "l'utilisation de Jeff Bates de la rime et de l'imagination crée une histoire pour aider les lecteurs de tous âges à regarder en eux-mêmes et vivent la vie au maximum.» (Roxanne L. Pace, Spécialiste des médias Bibliothèque, le comté de Brevard, Floride)

Jeff Bates dit: «Une des choses qui nous manquent dans notre approche pour aider à forger le caractère de nos enfants et de sentir la confiance en soi est un modèle Le petit seau comble cette lacune et offre une opportunité pour approfondir la discussion sur les choses qui importent le plus.: sentiments. Une fois que nous pouvons permettre à la discussion de sentiments, nous pouvons faire de grands progrès en aidant nos enfants à mieux se concentrer et devenir forte de l'intérieur ».

Il poursuit: «Nous sommes tous bouleversés par le monde numérique divertissant qui distrait vraiment les enfants de l'apprentissage réel ils ont besoin pour être en train de faire. Je ne suis pas parler de «l'apprentissage de l'école», mais d'apprendre à propos de ce qui se passe à l'intérieur ".

En outre, lorsque les enfants connaissent la pression sociale de se conformer et de donner à d'autres, et se sentir distrait ou intimidé par elle, ils peuvent perdre la trace d'eux-mêmes, ont de la difficulté à se concentrer et ensuite passer le reste de leur vie en essayant de récupérer.

Bates déclare qu'il est intéressé par la vente du livre, pas juste pour le plaisir de livres, mais pour ce qui peut arriver quand il a entendu parler. Le petit seau peut aider les enfants à se découvrir à l'intérieur et, selon Psychothérapeute Larry Pesavento de Cincinnati, Ohio, découvrent que "le bonheur est un travail intérieur."

Si vous avez des petits ou grands, et vous vous débattez avec le démarrage d'une conversation autour des sentiments comme la tristesse, la peur, la colère ou même la joie avec eux, ce livre peut être un kick utile.

Le petit seau est disponible sur Amazon.com ou BarnesandNoble.com commander. Visitez aussi le petit seau sur Facebook et assurez-vous de lui donner un "LIKE." Jeff a également la présentation petit seau d'où il vient à votre groupe / classe / école pour présenter l'histoire, avoir une discussion, puis chanter The Ballad of Le petit seau. Vous pouvez visiter la page de l'auteur à http://jeffreybates.net pour plus d'informations.

Boysen Hodgson

Boysen Hodgson est le directeur des communications et du marketing pour l'Humanité projet États-Unis, un organisme de mentorat et de formation à but non lucratif qui offre des possibilités puissantes pour la croissance personnelle des hommes à tous les stades de la vie. Boysen a reçu son BA avec mention de l'Université du Massachusetts à Amherst, après avoir terminé deux années de conception de cours à l'Université Cornell. Il a été d'aider les entreprises et les particuliers à concevoir le changement qu'ils souhaitent voir dans le monde depuis 15 ans. Il est un mari dévoué.

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Aimer Through My Shadow - un poème

par Les Gaines

Quelle est cette ombre qui me suit, putain?
Juste un mensonge de ce que je suis vraiment.
Une marque d'hier
quand un gars a dit je ne suis pas assez bon pour jouer.

Ce vieux tache a été comme une pierre
enfermer mon coeur dans une catacombe.

Comment puis-je vivre?
Comment puis-je souffle?
Avec ce mirage de la limitation aveuglante mon destin.

Je paie le prix pour se sentir digne.
Mais encore, il est clair que je ne suis pas libre.
Non, juste un proxy de ce que je devrais être,
offrant un petit goût de ce que je pourrais être.

Alors que sur un peu de l'authenticité,
Si je laisse tomber ma lance,
si je laisse tomber mon bouclier
si debout devant vous, avec ma honte révélé,
Si je laisse mon esprit installer dans cet espace,
et montrez des années de craintes gravés sur mon visage,
alors puis-je rester?
Puis-je rester et vous aimer à travers mes ombres de toute façon.

Cette ombre a un bind sur moi,
rien que je puisse faire parfois, mais dire que je suis désolé.

Je suis désolé pour ma mère.
Je suis désolé pour mon père.
Je suis désolé pour ce monstre dans la rue.
Et ce qu'ils appellent tous un geek.
Je suis désolé pour ma grosse tête.
Je suis désolé pour mes craintes.
Je suis désolé que je mords arrière dur,
Quand je suis tombé attaqué, et je ne suis pas clair.

Mais, si je dis que je suis désolé d'être moi,
puis-je rester et vous aimer à travers mes ombres de toute façon.

Je sais que ...
rois ont d'autres manoir
et, garçons d'autres jouets.
Lovers ont d'autres passions
et, guerriers d'autres stratagèmes.
Mais un homme ne dispose que d'un seul cœur à sentir.
Et, si il est chanceux, il va tenir sur un seul ami qui est réel.
Donc, je vais rester, je resterai et vous adore à travers mes ombres de toute façon.

Les Gaines

Après avoir obtenu la victoire sur la désactivation de SSPT, Les Gaines retourne à sa mission en tant que guérisseur, entraîneur, conférencier et défenseur des survivants handicapés de traumatismes de l'enfance. Il est un guérisseur métaphysique certifié, et un étudiant avide de judéo / mystique chrétienne, et le chamanisme. Les espère partager son cheminement vers la guérison et l'autonomisation par son amour de la poésie, l'art et la musique. Les achevé la formation par l'aventure Nouvelle Guerrier en Août 2012, et est un membre reconnaissants de l'igroup BWOE dans MD.

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Je sais traumatisme - un poème

par Les Gaines

Comme si elle dormait dans une mer de déni, détestant mon ombre,
mon ami fidèle avec moi le long de tant de miles.
Je sais que la peur paralysante de marcher au-delà de la porte d'entrée;
que l'espoir d'une vie meilleure a été préférable de laisser ignorée.

Je sais traumatisme.

Je sais que le doute qui vient
quand tout le monde mal semble juste,
et tout semble correct incorrect;
lorsque tous les bras mais la mienne ressemble fort.

Je sais que l'impuissance d'essayer de se sentir comme quelque chose,
alors que mon cerveau est criant que je ne suis rien.

Je sais traumatisme.

L'intrusion de fantômes mains, les sons et les parfums
qui traversent l'écart de temps à faire sentir si danger imminent.
Flashbacks on les appelle,
par ceux qui marchent avec la mémoire intacte.
Je sais combien de temps que la panique peut durer.

Mais, je sais aussi le pouvoir de la bonté et de la Vie
qui protège un soldat dans le plus vicieux de combats.
Je sais que la force des mains, prêt à survivre.

Vous voyez,
Je sais comment prospérer.
Comment chercher les ressources infinies de l'esprit,
pour déverrouiller les chaînes de la honte restauration innocence,
Je pensais laissé derrière.

Je sais que la puissance de l'aspiration à la liberté
qui m'a fait me tiens de mon analyse, et
jeter cette paillasson qui a lu, "free-for-all."

C'est ma vie!
Et il est temps que je le changement
les règles de ce vieux jeu abusive
pour restaurer chaque fragment de mon auto à sa juste place.

Je dirai qui je suis,
Amour, la Vie et de la Liberté.
Je suis Choice. Je suis réel.
Je suis ici ... avec le courage de guérir.

Les Gaines

Après avoir obtenu la victoire sur la désactivation de SSPT, Les Gaines retourne à sa mission en tant que guérisseur, entraîneur, conférencier et défenseur des survivants handicapés de traumatismes de l'enfance. Il est un guérisseur métaphysique certifié, et un étudiant avide de judéo / mystique chrétienne, et le chamanisme. Les espère partager son cheminement vers la guérison et l'autonomisation par son amour de la poésie, l'art et la musique. Les achevé la formation par l'aventure Nouvelle Guerrier en Août 2012, et est un membre reconnaissants de l'igroup BWOE dans MD.

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LEADERS blessé: Une critique du livre

Catégorie: Avis

Invité Message de Peter Clothier

«Leaders blessés: Colombie-élitisme et l'illusion de Droit," par Nick Duffell.

Tout d'abord, ne présumez pas de sous-titre de ce livre qui est pertinent pour nous ici en Amérique, ou à notre leadership. Il est d'une importance vitale, peu importe la spécificité de sa cible. Le titre de Nick Duffell aura résonance pour tous ceux qui ont vécu les deux dernières décennies en Amérique et regardé nos propres dirigeants blessés au combat ou, plus exactement, l'inaction. Cela dit, et nous allons revenir à ce-son argument central est que l'élite dirigeante éduquée pensionnat en Grande-Bretagne sont eux-mêmes inconsciemment régie par les blessures durables encourus par l'expérience d'être envoyé loin de la famille à un âge précoce, et placé dans un environnement militariste dans lequel ils apprennent à se protéger contre un monde extérieur hostile.

Je peux en parler. Je suis ce que Duffell se réfère justement comme un survivant de pensionnat. En tant que psychothérapeute, il a une longue pratique conçu pour apporter de telles personnes de retour de leur désorientation psychologique et l'isolement. Je pourrais avoir utilisé ses services, il ya longtemps, mais a dû découvrir mon propre chemin à travers ce labyrinthe. On m'a envoyé loin à l'école à l'âge de sept ans, et au moment où je me suis échappé à la liberté à l'âge de dix-huit ans, je l'avais reçu une éducation de la tête orientée remarquable mais il est resté ce que je décris souvent comme un infirme émotionnelle. Je l'avais appris l'art coûteux et dangereux de l'évasion et de l'invulnérabilité émotionnelle. En sept ou huit ans, je ne pouvais pas se permettre de faire autre chose que de supprimer les sentiments qui ouvriraient moi à l'attaque de mes compagnons de pensionnaires: la peur, la colère, la tristesse, le chagrin, la terrible douleur d'être séparé de ses parents qui m'a assuré qu'ils aimaient me-même si il était difficile de comprendre le paradoxe d'être aimé et pourtant exilé de la famille, le lieu de cet amour.

Le résultat de mon excellente éducation était que je ne grandi. Plutôt, il m'a fallu encore trois décennies avant que je réalise qu'il y avait quelque chose de mal à vivre comme une tortue dans une coquille. Boarding School Survivors, comme Duffell les décrit, sont rabougris individus tellement pris dans leurs têtes qu'ils restent déconnectés de leurs cœurs. Je simplifie ses arguments profondément bien informés et subtiles, dont la ligne de fond est que l'élite dirigeante de la Grande-Bretagne, pensionnat et Oxbridge instruits, sont suprêmement qualifié pour conduire dans notre XXIe siècle monde parce qu'ils sont si intensément concentrés sur leur déformée, vision rationnelle des enjeux nationaux et mondiaux qu'ils restent imperméables (invulnérable) à l'image plus grande des besoins humains. Ils sont incapables d'écouter, de sympathiser avec les autres qu'eux-mêmes et de leur propre espèce. Ils sont guidés par la certitude de leur propre sens de la rectitude. Pour douter, à la question, d'avoir un changement de cœur est d'être vulnérable, et la vulnérabilité est la dernière chose dans le monde, ils peuvent se permettre. (Chapitre final de Duffell, sur le doute, est particulièrement éloquent et sur la cible.)

Je suis certes pas qualifié pour évaluer les aspects plus techniques de l'argument de Duffell. Pour ce lecteur, il semble impressionnante informé et mis à jour avec les dernières découvertes des neurosciences et de la psychologie scolaire. Il se fonde sur une large compréhension de l'évolution philosophique de rationalisme et ses détracteurs, les mouvements sociaux compensateurs de la répression et de la rébellion, et contextualise son argument dans cette perspective historique. Dans nos temps modernes, ses exemplaires sont principalement les goûts de l'ancien Premier ministre Tony Blair, actuel Premier ministre David Cameron de l'Angleterre, et le maire de Londres Boris Johnson, dont les attitudes et les actions sont profondément et dans Duffell de vue-tort réactionnaire. Comme il le voit, ils fanfaronnades intimidateur et leur chemin passé opposition en actions militaires futiles et des programmes sociaux qui enrichissent qui sont déjà privilégiés et riches et contribuent à l'appauvrissement continu des nécessiteux. Pas étonnant que l'Angleterre, il décrit est un pays en colère.

Tard dans le livre, Duffell élargit sa vision d'une élite droit d'inclure brève référence à American dirigeants en particulier, bien sûr, George W. Bush, dont la poursuite aveugle et téméraire d'une obsession illusoire nous précipita tête baissée dans la guerre avec l'Irak. Les résultats désastreux sont avec nous aujourd'hui, sous la forme d'un Moyen-Orient dans la tourmente sans fin. En regardant l'Amérique d'aujourd'hui, une nation de gens sûrement que de colère comme les Britanniques-Id soutiennent que ce Duffell appelle l'illusion de Droit est en aucune façon limitée à l'élitisme britannique. Nos dirigeants doivent aussi être comptés parmi les blessés. Notre leadership est dominé par les querelles de petits garçons qui ont jamais augmenté au-delà de la nécessité d'eux-mêmes et leur propre territoire protéger contre ceux qui ne sont pas d'accord avec eux. Nos problèmes politiques sont les mêmes que ceux Duffell décrit dans son pays: le militarisme, le rationalisme erronée et préjudiciable, un manque d'empathie pour les pauvres et les défavorisés, l'hypothèse d'une droiture qui rejette d'autres vues sans audience, un rejet colère de doute ou de remise en cause des vues précédemment occupé.

Droit, je dirais, ne sont pas la propriété exclusive de l'élite britannique. Je me crois qu'il est aussi, plus largement, un facteur de privilège mâle historique, la tradition patriarcale. Il ya un mythe persistant dans notre culture qui voit les hommes comme des êtres rationnels, dans le contrôle des événements, capables, pratiques, tandis que les femmes sont (encore, aux yeux de trop d'entre nous les hommes) perçus comme irrationnelle, guidée par l'émotion plutôt que la raison , et donc moins compétents aux postes de direction. Duffell soutient avec passion pour une voie médiane, celle qui minimise ni la raison ni l'émotion, mais un équilibre entre le quotient intellectuel avec le quotient émotionnel, la tête avec le cœur, la raison avec compassion et empathie. Je suis d'accord avec lui, que si nous comme une espèce pouvons trouver cet équilibre, nous sommes dans une époque dangereuse de l'avant. Son livre est un rappel opportun et important de la nécessité de «changer nos esprits" d'une manière fondamentale, et nous ouvrir à la puissante et pratique la sagesse du cœur. Je souhaite sincèrement que le livre va trouver des lecteurs au-delà de la patrie de laquelle il écrit. Ses idées sont profondément nécessaires partout, dans le monde entier.

Surveillez prochain roman de Peter Clothier à propos de la sexualité masculine, "Bâton Pèlerin" (un vieux euphémisme pour le pénis.) Il est dit par deux narrateurs, un peintre de la figure contemporaine et 18ème siècle et gentleman anglais. Des scènes de sexe et Frank potboiler d'excitation! Peter est un AING 1994 initié, une seule fois Elder Ritual actif, et un écrivain d'art bien connu. Son dernier livre, "Ralentissez Looking: L'art de regarder l'art», explore les valeurs de la contemplation et la méditation. Sentez-vous libre de lui écrire à peter clothier@mac.com .

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Un cercle d'hommes

par Les Gaines

Je suis assis dans un cercle avec des hommes
qui sont prêts à aller à l'intérieur,
dont les yeux blaze comme des diamants dans le déguisement
et dont les corps sont prêts avec détermination.

Ne voulant pas compromettre,
et l'utilisation de beaux esprits comme un dispositif de rodage,
les frères écoutent.
Pour des gémissements et des gémissements de l'ombre et des doutes
que totale, «Je suis moins."

Dans ce cercle d'hommes,
nous trouvons des traces de l'espoir que nous avons vu auparavant,
caché derrière les portes de la petite enfance
douleur que nous devons explorer éveiller.

Et dans ce voyage, nous trouvons la mission de notre vie
d'être qui nous sommes, sans demander la permission.
Pour faire ce que les hommes de bien ont toujours fait,
être prêt à être "l'Un."

Dans ce cercle d'hommes,
un guerrier monte à l'occasion,
de voir le monde qu'il a fait
et réclamer son pouvoir de le changer.

Voici les mains battre sur des tambours,
Et, rugit masculins forment nos chansons,
appelant les quatre directions, le ciel et la terre
et sur les épaules ancêtres nous prenons notre travail.

Dans ce cercle d'hommes,
il ya le pouvoir de transformer le minerai à l'acier,
de dissoudre toutes les illusions qui empêche
vivre une vie qui est réel.

Dans ce cercle d'hommes,
il ya du vrai dans les projections
et la guérison quand un homme rencontre ses propres reflets dorés.

Les Gaines

Après avoir obtenu la victoire sur la désactivation de SSPT, Les Gaines retourne à sa mission en tant que guérisseur, entraîneur, conférencier et défenseur des survivants handicapés de traumatismes de l'enfance. Il est un guérisseur métaphysique certifié, et un étudiant avide de judéo / mystique chrétienne, et le chamanisme. Les espère partager son cheminement vers la guérison et l'autonomisation par son amour de la poésie, l'art et la musique. Les achevé la formation par l'aventure Nouvelle Guerrier en Août 2012, et est un membre reconnaissants de l'igroup BWOE dans MD.

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The Rising de la bonté fondamentale - le mode de réalisation dans une société mondiale

Catégorie: Poésie

Deux corneilles par Calling

D'abord, nous avons pris un regard dur sur notre ego auto
Parlant nos sentiments de ce que nous voulions dans l'amour, le travail et un monde pacifique
Découverte dans nos dyades et dans notre méditation que ce
nous aspirait était si souvent en panne,
"Calé", ne se produit pas.

Nous avons vu notre propre sabotage de soi, vivre dans l'illusion, la tromperie,
de blâmer les autres, pris dans la consommation subtile et famille
drames. Notre liste de contrefaçon, les traits de cocon frappé la maison
de décourager l'infini. Pour nous, "la recherche de bonnes" si souvent
emporté sur tout étant Bonté.

Assis, nous avons connecté profondément avec notre propre "désordre"
Nous avions placé notre charrue avant les boeufs de Vent de notre vie.
Nous ne vivions pas de dernières paroles du Bouddha
«Soyez une lampe à Yourself"

Qu'est-ce que la bonne fortune du dharma surmonté notre doute, la peur et
timidité. Nous avons été sauvés par des énergies beaucoup plus puissants
et vaste que lignes de l'histoire répétitives de la culture dominante.

Notre pratique aiguisé notre volonté et élargi nos cœurs.
Nos professeurs nous ont inspiré -breathing vérité et l'amour en nous.

Un jour, vous avez finalement dit une pleine et profonde "OUI"
Vous chuchoté dans votre propre cœur. "OK. Je suis fatigué d'être
malade et fatigué de toutes mes mesures timides demi ".

Vous avez dit à votre esprit et votre cœur. «Je suis prêt à le prendre tout sur".

Je suis prêt à prendre la douleur et le chagrin de la société dans mon
propre soumission, Coeur vaste et spacieuse.

Et vous pas en avant pour le devant de la grande scène de l'histoire
Vous avez réalisé le poète Rilke avait raison, après tout:

"Quelle que soit la question, L'amour est la réponse."

La famine se propage en Afrique et au Moyen-Orient tandis que la pourriture des céréales
dans nos Midwest réserves de stockage de céréales. Plus amour nécessaire. Le 37000
infantile et de décès chaque jour à partir de l'eau polluée. Plus de mon amour nécessaire.

Les décès apparemment sans fin des mères et des jeunes enfants en Syrie.
Plus amour nécessaire. De l'eau propre pour les enfants? Plus l'amour de moi.
Briser l'horreur de la traite des êtres humains et l'esclavage?
Plus l'amour de moi.

Nous appuyions dans le Vent. Into the Storm. Into the Darkness
de notre âge actuel. Nous nous sommes réjouis de l'avancement de la bonté.

Nous avons trouvé le dharma était notre bouclier, notre épée. Notre Lumière.
Nous nous sommes sentis dans nos os "Ce sont mes moment.Ce est notre moment."

Et donc à chaque respiration, nous avons ouvert nos cœurs à l'échelle de la douleur
et la souffrance de ce monde.

Au fil du temps notre champ d'action élargi de plus en plus. Guerriers sacrés
de la bonté fondamentale apparu à nos côtés. Nous sommes devenus une Unité.

Ensemble, mes frères et sœurs
Nous allons de l'avant dans ce vaste monde
graines fertiles dans le vent
Société de décision éclairée possible.
Shambhala! Shambhala!

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The Butterfly King - Edmond Manning sur l'écriture et Daring

par Edmond Manning

De quel droit un homme blanc raconter l'histoire d'un homme noir? Décrire les luttes de cet homme, les défis auxquels il est confronté à vie, les difficultés de vivre dans une culture centrée sur blanc?

Je me suis posé cette question à plusieurs reprises.

En Septembre, le troisième livre de ma série "Kings Lost and Found», The Butterfly King a été publié. Le principe est le même dans chaque livre: un gay, mécanicien automobile Midwest invite un autre homme à passer le week-end ensemble. Il promet "... si vous soumettez dans tous les sens, je vais vous aider à vous souvenez de votre royauté. Je vais vous aider à mémoriser l'homme que vous étiez toujours censé être ".

Cela vous semble familier?

Il est un abâtardissement du week-end AING. Eh bien, un peu. Il n'y a absolument aucune affiliation ou mentions de MKP dans le roman. Il n'y a pas une organisation fictive habilement rebaptisé "LKP." Non. Aucune activité de CrossOver. Aucun. Le narrateur de mécanicien automobile repose sur Joseph Campbell et les archétypes masculins pour créer des expériences qui aident chacun de découvrir sa douance unique. Combiné avec la narration de conte de fées, la manipulation émotionnelle, et un scoop saine du sexe homme-à-homme, ces livres ont attiré l'attention pour leur look novateur à la psyché masculine et la possibilité que tous les hommes sont rois.

Je suis ravi par écrit sur les différents types d'hommes. Mes contes grands célèbrent le pouvoir des hommes, la beauté des hommes, qui inclut leurs malheurs: les conséquences à long terme sur un homme dont le père est mort jeune (le premier livre, le roi Perry), un homme en colère qui se sent trahi par l'amour et comment son de merde la vie est avéré (le deuxième livre, le roi Mai), et le livre le plus récent, mon troisième, traite d'un homme noir à New York qui a sacrifié sa propre avenir pour prendre soin de sa famille.

The Butterfly King.

Mais de quel droit un homme blanc raconter l'histoire d'un homme noir?

Pas de droit.

Je me trouve dans une position curieuse et difficile. Je veux écrire sur des gens intéressants et les vies fascinantes. Il est ce que font les écrivains, je suppose. Mais comment oser un homme tentative de la classe moyenne pâteux blanc à pénétrer à l'intérieur de la tête d'un homme de couleur? Je ne peux pas savoir les circonstances de préjudice qu'il a connu en grandissant et à l'âge adulte. Il est très possible mes tentatives de dépeindre l'empathie apparaître comme condescendant, mal informé et condescendant. Je crains à ce sujet. Il me tient éveillé la nuit.

Un curieux parallèle existe dans mon genre de la fiction.

À l'heure actuelle, la plupart des livres écrits sur les hommes-loving-hommes sont écrits par des femmes hétérosexuelles. Je ne plaisante pas. Ils composent la part du lion du marché des deux écrivains et les lecteurs. Certains ont adopté le nom d'un homme pour une meilleure acceptation ou de cacher leurs identités, de peur de la réaction. La plupart sont ouvertes et fiers de leur prouesse d'écriture. En fait, les hommes gais aujourd'hui du mal à publier leurs histoires-honnêtes à gayness-hommes-loving-hommes-histoires parce que les femmes dominent tellement ce domaine et leurs préférences sont devenus des traditions de l'industrie. Les hommes gais doivent être conformes à ces normes de l'industrie de se faire publier ou d'être marginalisés.

Huh.

Le débat revient trois fois par an ou plus dans la blogosphère. De quel droit les femmes interviennent et disent les histoires des hommes gais? De quel droit? Ils ne connaissent pas gay bashing, des insultes homophobes, et l'enfer, ils ne disposent même pas le droit indésirable.

Et pourtant, écrivent-ils. Ils osent.

Les raisons me fascinent. Ils se sentent appelés. Parce que les histoires sont à propos de l'amour. Parce qu'il est plus intéressant que d'écrire au sujet de leurs monde connu, les relations hommes-femmes. Certaines de ces femmes ont des enfants gais, des amis gais, garagistes homosexuels et ils veulent rendre le monde plus sûr, plus tolérant. Quelles que soient leurs raisons, ils osent.

J'aime ça. Ils osent.

Ne nous osons aussi?

Comme les hommes dans MKP, osons-nous ne pas aimer les hommes sont différents de nous? Ne nous sortons nos peaux confortables pour aimer les hommes d'âges différents, de couleurs différentes? Ne met pas les républicains démocrates parfois berceau comme ils pleurent sur les mariages perdus? Avez-vous pas vu certains granola, leader hippie amour d'une jeune entreprise fonceur, faire tout ce qu'il faut pour honorer la royauté de cet homme? Je sais que vous avez.

Je l'ai vu aussi.

Nous ne nous ingérons pas dans la vie de chacun, car il est de notre droit de le faire. Nous le faisons parce que nous osons à aimer les uns les autres comme des hommes, comme des frères.

Je l'ai étudié à fond ce livre. Je l'ai lu décalage migrations ethniques et de New York des années 1950 jusqu'aux années 2000. Je lis des livres sur la race. Je lis des articles sur des auteurs blancs qui tentent d'écrire des caractères noirs. Je lis des blogs sur les points aveugles dans la culture dominante et comment il apparaît dans insidieuses, des moyens d'exclusion. Je suis content d'avoir fait cette recherche, mais rien de tout cela me donne le droit d'écrire.

Mais je ose.

Je vous écris au sujet des hommes de couleur parce que je l'ai aimé les hommes de couleur. Je l'ai pleuré dans leurs bras et ils dans la mienne. Nous avons dit à nos histoires tristes et ressenti de l'autre la guérison masculin. Le week-end du personnel, nous avons essuyé la sueur et des larmes de l'autre, et je suis retourné sur le tapis pour ne pas rafraîchi, certainement plus robuste. More ready to bear the next sorrowful tale.

We celebrate each other by telling these stories, stories which are not always ours to tell.

I remember a night long ago when my I-group decided my work that night was to share my coming out story. Je haussai les épaules. Although I had been complaining of the lifelong estrangements it has caused, I felt it wasn't really relevant. Happened over two decades ago. As I told the experience telling my parents I was gay, two of the straight men in my group cried. Another man said, “Listen to me repeat this to you.”

When I heard my own story coming from his mouth, I cried myself because the story —surprise, surprise— was sad. Although he repeated a few details wrong, he heard and honored the spirit of the tale. Apparently I had to hear it from someone else to recognize the sadness.
When I think about this latest novel, I'm sure I fucked up in a few places because, like most of us, I sometimes fuck up when I'm attempting a big project. That is one story about me. Here is another story I learned by working with MKP: I am also glorious, ridiculously bold and I radiate effervescent, sparkling love from my fingertips when I type fiction. I have the power to reveal how gorgeous, how beautiful men can be.

I celebrate us.

And so, I dare.

Butterfly King

Edmond Manning is the author of a series, The Lost and Founds. The first three books in this series include King Perry, King Mai (a Lambda Literary finalist 2014), and most recently, The Butterfly King. Feel free to say hello at remembertheking@comcast.net .

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Working on My 'To Be' List

by Stephen Simmer – MKP USA Mission Circle Coordinator

I don't read emails, I scan them. The idea of slowing down and staying fully present with a thought is very difficult, very foreign to me. If you're like me, you might notice a persistent voice, right now, telling you to hurry through this email, to grab the point that Simmer is making, deposit into the meaning-bank for possible future use, and move onto the next email waiting in the inbox. If you're like me, right now you're saying to yourself, “I got it” and hurdling over phrases and sentences to get to the next paragraph to see if there's more you need to grab. If you're like me, you don't read, you plunder for necessary meaning as if you're looting a store for a couple of things of value.

I'm also aware that I'm that way with many parts of my life I supposedly care about. I listen with a half an ear to my kids, I listen to my wife impatiently, hoping she will get to the point so I can move on, I hurry down the road with my dogs to get the walk out of the way as fast as I can so I can get onto some other tasks that I can also hurry through.

When I think of working more on mission, there is a voice in me that says emphatically, “I don't have time to do any more.” The conveyer belt is too fast already. I need to work, sack the trash, lug the air conditioners back to the garage, order the stone for the patio, pick up the prescription. Mission? Maybe I can schedule some world-transformation Tuesday between my son's soccer game and grilling the burgers. If I can't sandwich it in there, I'll get to it next lifetime, or the one after that. My mission gradually becomes my o-mission, what I leave out.

This is all wrong. I was taught on my training many years ago that a mission statement had a vision and an action. An action: I saw it as another task on my endless to-do list. But what if mission is not a job? What if it's really a presence? What if it's a challenge to do less, with magnificence? What if it means slowing down, committing to be fully present in this ordinary, splendid moment? What if mission means that I commit myself to be a human be-ing rather than a human do-ing? What if busy-ness is a symptom of evasion of what really matters?

Athletes talk of special times when the game slows down, and maybe mission is really about a commitment to slowing life down so that moments become momentous. These are the moments of Flow that Mihaly Csikszentmihaly identified. This precious moment with my son outside school when he quietly takes my hand as we walk. This encounter with the CVS clerk. This walk with my dog in the rain, both of us dying, him probably a few steps ahead of me, leading the way. I'm ditching my to-do list and starting a to-be list. And what is startling to me is that there is only one thing on the list: to answer the door and welcome the visitor who has been waiting.

Stephen Simmer

Steve Simmer, for those of us privileged to know him, lives his life in the midst of the constant stream and theme of mission. Appropriately enough, one of his formal mission statements is that he “creates a world of freedom by encouraging men with my courage to do all that they can be and to be all that they can do.” By profession a psychotherapist, he works continuously to inspire men to actively find and engage in their own mission in this world. Dr. Simmer completed the New Warrior Training Adventure back in 2001, and has never been the same man since.
To learn more about Steve and his work you can visit his website

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My Poem 310: Meeting Wisdom

My Poem 310: Meeting Wisdom

The shaman knows those noises…
They sometimes disturb the hunt…they
are sometimes the result of the hunt…
You see, the shaman has kept
to his roots, not like the shamans
reed flute, having been cut from
its root, its soundings are the
lamentations of the broken hearted
which the shaman knows but he
Also knows of the healed heart…
knows the Icy grags and shadowed
vales…becoming knowing of the songs…
Of the void between notes, between
the lyrics, between the breath taken
in and the breath expelled… There
he finds the knowing of Wisdom…
There, he meets Her…Mother Sophia

---

Addenda i54: Oscar Wilde said,

«Ah! Don't say you agree with me. Quand
people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong.”

Do our poems have
to please everyone?
Do we have
a responsibility to be provocative?

Oui! HOMMES!
We Have That Responsibility!

Bien sûr! We have that responsibility!
Wilde said that! Wilde lived that!
Our 'modern' circumstances demand that …
How could we not … but to invite another Hitler …

Gaia, Mother Earth is demanding that!
Creating storm after massive storm
beyond our experience …

I am demanding that! … of
my Brothers & my Sisters!

The call has been made! It is international!
grass rooted, calling but walked upon …
springing back up into the calling air …
but CALLING again … every society … every Heart
The Mother and mothers everywhere are calling …
Fathers drop war from your consciousness.
It has no future … It begets no future …

But … ITSELF!
And an Earthen hell is the result …
Over and over … again and again …

HOMMES! What more proof need be portrayed than that goriest
Glorious 20th Century …???

MEN…WHO ARE WE THAT WE CAN”T SEE
IN ALL THIS LIGHT???!!!

Wali Qutbuddin Loren Ruh Smith
6 août 2014

Qutbuddin Loren Ruh Smith: I'm 75 years old, born in Tacoma, WA and went to high school in Arcata, CA. Je servi dans l'armée américaine, a rencontré ma première femme et a eu notre premier fils en France. Je commence à écrire de la poésie dans mon premier collège anglais de classe en 1961. Je l'ai publié un livre intitulé Le chemin vers le bien-aimé et je avoir plusieurs livres prêt à publier. I lived in the Sierras in Grass Valley for 30 years before moving to Albuquerque, NM, in 2012. My book about fathers and sons called This Child and His Tree will be going to the publishers shortly.

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BOYHOOD: Not Exactly a Film Review

GUEST POST: by Peter Clothier

Originally published at the Buddha Diaries

(for Luka, a bit later in his life)

I woke this morning thinking about Barack Obama, and how perfectly he fits the model of manhood proposed by Rudyard Kipling in his unjustly maligned and frequently parodied poem “If.” In case you don't remember it, here's how it starts out:

Si vous pouvez garder votre tête quand tout sur vous
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
Mais tenir compte de leur trop douter;
Si vous pouvez attendre et ne pas être fatigué par l'attente,
Ou être menti à propos, ne traitent pas dans le mensonge,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise…

Doesn't that sound like Obama?

First, though, Boyhood, which provoked these thoughts. We finally got to see this beautiful and profoundly moving film last night. I loved the twelve-year journey of these skillful and committed actors, playing out the emotional development of fictional characters engaged in a fictional narrative as they themselves physically aged. I loved the “truth” of the story itself, of a family struggling with the realities of life—the failed and failing marriages, the financial woes, the abuse of alcohol and drugs, sibling love and feuding, school and the relationships with classmates, the pain of the teenage years, and so on. All along, start to finish, the story had the convincing “feel” of life as most of us experience it.

And the film is true to its title. It is about boyhood. Even at the end, the young boy, Mason, whose life we have been following from elementary school to college has not yet emerged fully into manhood. The last shot shows him, literally high in the beautiful natural surroundings of the mountains, and high on the mushroom fed him by his brand new college roommate. With a lovely young woman at his side—they sit still shyly side by side and not in some false, premature embrace—he gazes out in ecstasy into the landscape as though into a future filled with allure. But it is abundantly clear that he is still a boy. Boyhood still glows in his face; he's all promise, no completion.

Which should not surprise us. He had no models of real manhood as he was growing up. Mason's biological father is a charming rogue in his early years, unable to accept the responsibilities of marriage, job, and family. The subsequent relationships his mother forms are with men whose manhood is as questionable as his father's: a smooth academic whose insecurities lead him to drunken tyranny; a former military man whose immaturity is revealed in his insensitivity and inflexibility. With one notable exception—a photography teacher who attempts to move our Mason beyond his obstinate, lethargic adolescence—the strong, mature figures who surround the growing boy are women. The men are simply grown-up little boys.

Which leads me to reflect, beyond the parameters of the movie, upon this question: what are the qualities of manhood? We find what I think of as a real man all too infrequently in our contemporary world. We are surrounded everywhere by ungrown men: the drunks, the abusers, the workaholics; priests and teachers who take advantage of their positions of trust and exploit the vulnerabilities of children; lovers who take what they need and reject responsibility; politicians who lack the spine to govern and capitulate too easily to those who would manipulate them; gun-toting idiots who insist so stridently on their “rights” and are quick to spurn the rights of others; sports heroes pumped up with illicit drugs and phony testosterone; spoiled cultural idols, many of them scarcely more than teenagers.

Too often, the models of manhood we are offered are characterized by a false notion of strength. To return to the President and his current predicament, surrounded as he is by well-meaning progressives to the left and fanatics blinded by their own rectitude on the right, all nipping at his heels and demanding displays of strength. They fail to understand that the qualities of true strength are not intellectual inflexibility and rash, foolhardy action (the former President and his enablers come inevitably to mind) but the maturity to step back and take the longer view, the wisdom to listen and, when necessary, to change. Even to bend. That too is strength. They have not learned the ancient lesson of the oak tree and the reed .

The qualities of manhood, in my view, are these: integrity, a sense of mission, a devotion to service. We know how to teach these qualities. We do it with our military men in boot camp (women, too, these days, of course, but I'm concerned here with men.) While I'm not a fan of militarism in any form, I'll concede that in most cases even this crass form of initiation can produce admirable men—men who have not only strength and skills, but a sense of purpose greater than themselves. Our armed forces are worthy of the respect that they receive. What turns boys to men is this kind of ritualized initiation—a process that's significantly lacking in the development of the youngster who's portrayed in “Boyhood,” as it is to the majority of us today. Of myself, if I'm to be honest, I must acknowledge that I reached some measure of manhood only in my fifties. For genuine initiation in our culture we have substituted such tepid rituals as Christian confirmations and bar mitvahs.

They don't do the trick. In traditional cultures, the transition was a far more dangerous journey, involving genuine threat to life and limb as boys were sent out into wilderness or jungle to temper the vulnerability and fearfulness of boyhood into the steel they would need to function as a man. We in the modern Western world have no wild animals to deal with, unless we count those within. We forget that these are powerful enough to rule our lives if we don't learn to acknowledge and confront them. The early myth of initiation for us is the ordeal of the knight apprentice, who rides out into the forest to test his mettle against the dark knight—or the dragon—and returns prepared to serve his queen.

What is integrity? In simple terms, it is the fortitude to say fearlessly exactly what I mean, and do exactly what I say. Which implies, of course, a clear vision about who I am and what I am given to do. If I'm in doubt or confusion, I lack resolve. I dither. The answer lies not in denying doubt and confusion—they are a part of being human. No one escapes them. In denying them I risk precipitous and futile action, when what I need first is to consult the inner wisdom that I've wrestled with myself to find, and rediscover the clarity before I act. A man of integrity is a man who “has his act together,” in the sense that his actions are in full congruence with his words. He has “integrated” the four mainstays of his being: mind and body, feeling and spirit, and they are properly in balance. Action that is not backed by all four of these in unison–action that lacks thought, or heart, or energy, or purpose–is as ineffectual as the failure to act at all.

Inseparable from a man's integrity, then, is the understanding that he has left behind the innocence of boyhood, along with the freedom that accompanied it. He lives in a world of accountability to others and acknowledges his duty (yes, sorry, a quaint, old-fashioned concept!) to serve others than himself. Sadly, it's true that most of us fail to live up to this ideal. We look around us, searching vainly for the most part for our Mahatma Gandhis, our Nelson Mandelas, our Martin Luther Kings—men who were certainly not lacking in the failings that made them human, but who managed to be magnificently greater than their weaknesses, and of spectacular, historical service to their fellow human beings.

We cannot all be men like these, but we can be men. Without the challenge of traditional initiation rites, we are required to find, or invent, our own journey from boyhood into manhood. It is no easy task to face the darkness and the inner demons that, without our awareness, can control our destinies. All of us need some form of support as we make that journey: a church, perhaps, a spiritual guide, a trained therapist… And the journey, for most of us, is never ending. Who can sit back on his laurels and say with certainty: I have reached the fullness of my manhood? Even in, at best, my last quarter here among the living, I still struggle with my own.

So we leave our young protagonist, in “Boyhood,” with the journey into manhood still ahead of him. He may already have been initiated into sex and drugs, into the drudgery of work and now, finally, the college dormitory, but none of these has opened the door to the real, deep, inner work he will have to do if he is to become the man he needs to be if he is to fulfill his life's destiny. And that is yet to come…

Watch for Peter Clothier's forthcoming novel about masculine sexuality, “The Pilgrim's Staff” (an old euphemism for the penis.) It's told by two narrators, a contemporary figure painter and and 18th century English gentleman. Frank sex scenes and potboiler excitement! Peter is a 1994 NWTA initiate, a one-time active Ritual Elder, and a well-known art writer. His latest book, “Slow Looking: The Art of Looking at Art,” explores the values of contemplation and meditation. Feel free to write him at peter clothier@mac.com .

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The Transformational Power of Daily Rituals

By Gonzalo Salinas

According to Charles Duhigg author of The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business , approximately 40% of what we do every day, we do unconsciously. We have formed a habit that we tend to repeat every day, and it's making our choices for us.

So, think about all the things you do every day. Some of them probably don't serve your highest purpose but still, you repeat them religiously … even knowing specific behaviors are putting you away of the reality you want to live. Duhigg explains that every time you repeat those habits your brain reinforces them … so it craves, later on, this repetition. Even if is not beneficial, you get a neuro-chemical reward in your brain that not only will create some sort of addiction but also reinforces the identity you have created for yourself.

I have tried many times to change bad habits and create new ones. With a sincere heart I must confess that I have failed more times than I have succeeded. But I noticed something happened every time I was succeeding; the positive new habits were daily rituals.

Oui. I do have rituals. Ritual – “a series of actions or type of behavior regularly and invariably followed by someone.” I repeat certain rituals every day, and believe me dear reader of the MKP Journal, to repeat an action every day, is not an easy task, especially when I am trying to create a new self.

Let me share some daily rituals hoping that this will inspire action to enhance lives.

I do my rituals first thing in the morning: I wake up and I go for a run. The running part is simple. I already told myself that as soon as I hear the alarm I must jump out of the bed. At the beginning it was hard, now is automatic. My recommendation is to avoid dealing with ANY logistics – so your sportswear must be ready next to the bed from the previous night.

rising-sun

A second ritual is: I carry in my wallet one handwritten page. One side of the page is divided in two: on the left side I have a few statements: my flaws or weaknesses to become aware of what I want to change, and on the right side my good qualities and virtues to remind myself the tools I have for my own growth. Deliberately this second list is bigger than the first one. On the other side of the paper I've written a brief composition about who I want to be. I've included goals and projects and a description of how I see myself in the next three years.

I read this paper three times a day. As soon as I wake up, at lunch time, and before I go to sleep. It takes me two minutes each reading. When I read it I focus on staying present: just reading.

Third: In the morning I also do a brief visualization … right before I come back from running I stop and I visualize: It takes me three to five minutes. I visualize the same three goals I have written on the paper I carry on my wallet.

Finally, is my gratitude time. On a notebook I got specifically for gratitude, right before I go to sleep, I write three things that I'm grateful for that day. It doesn't matter if it's as simple as “the kid I saw having some ice cream at Lincoln road in South Beach.” If I feel like writing it, I write it. Then I say a brief prayer, and I go to sleep.

These four rituals have changed my life   dramatically in the last two years. Have I been 100% consistent with them?… absolutely not. I used to give to myself a guilt trip, this usually led me to abandon my regular practice for a while. If for some reason I miss my rituals now, instead of the self punishment, I just carry on.

C'est tout. Just a couple of thing before I finish: You may notice that my rituals are very simple; they are simple because when I create a complex plan, I find I'm planning to fail. Start small and keep going; it is a great exercise of self love.

And lastly, be creative with your rituals! Some people create a vision boards with images, others do mantras or incantations, others meditate or do breathing exercises. The rituals become habits because of repetition, and the daily practice causes transformation.

I've got more from my 2 years of rituals than from my entire previous life without them. Use them and then you tell me!

Gonzalo photo

Gonzalo Salinas is an Assistant Editor for the ManKind Project Journal, a publication of the ManKind Project, a nonprofit mentoring and training organization offering powerful opportunities for men's personal growth at any stage of life. Salinas studied Literature in Lima, Peru at San Marcos University, and has been living in the United States since 2003. He lives in Miami, FL. Salinas is committed to his own personal development, and to spreading the word about the vision and mission of the Mankind Project .

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Your Distraction Vortex – Purpose Block #3

by Chris Kyle

If you missed the special Live Q&A call on April 15 for the Man on Purpose Course and want to listen to the audio, go to the Man on Purpose Course web site to listen.

Over the last week, I've shared with you the first two core Purpose Blocks which are:

Purpose Block #1 = the Fear Triad
Purpose Block #2 = the Doubting Voice

Now it's time to explore the third of the 3 Purpose Blocks. Purpose Block #3 is the Distraction Vortex .

In our modern, media-saturated and technology-driven culture we have a never-ending list of things we can do in our daily lives to keep us busy and our schedules extremely full.

The daily choices are mind-boggling … TV shows, books, internet surfing, sports, phone calls, porn, email, movies, hobbies — and on and on and on. And all of this is in addition to our daily work (that hopefully pays the bills).

All these possible activities make up the Distraction Vortex: a swirling pool of constant and seemingly endless things TO DO … that can suck up all of our precious time.

None of these activities, in and of themselves, are inherently “good” or “bad.” However, if we are spending much of our time in the Distraction Vortex — there is a good chance that we are also distracting ourselves from what we might want most in our lives: deeper connection, greater joy, more meaning, and a clearer sense of purpose.

And because the journey into these states can be more subtle and unclear, it's frankly easier and likely more soothing to numb-out or check-out with a juicy distraction like a TV show, a series of YouTube videos, or a trashy novel.

The challenge and question is, “How do I consciously navigate this Distraction Vortex, so it doesn't suck up all of my time — and instead frees up my time for focusing on living more fully into my purpose?”

Here are three steps you can take to help set you free from the Distraction Vortex.

1. Slow Down and Observe Your Activity
The first step is to use whatever stillness practice you have, like meditation or mindfulness, to slow yourself down each day (and if you don't have one, then start one), and begin to observe what pulls your attention toward what you would consider unhealthy distractions.

Then take on a one week “distraction awareness practice” by tracking where you are spending your time in the activities that you consider distractions. This brings to conscious awareness what activities YOU use as distractions to not face something else in your life.

2. Notice What You're Avoiding
The second step is to notice what you may be avoiding in your life that the distractions helps you not have to face. It is typically something you don't want to look at, and which makes you uncomfortable… something that you struggle with in your life.

Being more conscious of the activity, feeling or the energy that you're avoiding helps to burst the bubble on your distraction patterns. Now you have the awareness to make a new choice about whether to engage the specific distractions or not.

3. Recommit with Support
As you see more clearly how your particular distractions don't serve you, you can now recommit yourself to the actions and activities that truly support and serve you — your own growth and your purpose.

By declaring your commitment to the activities that feed your passions and purpose to another person close to you helps you stay accountable to not slipping back into the unhealthy distractions. This support is key to breaking out of the Distraction Vortex.

In the Man on Purpose Course, starting tomorrow (April 17, 2014), we spend two of the 7 weeks on looking at the patterns and habits that take us out of the fuller expression of our authentic power, creativity and purpose. This helps clear the way to bringing more energy and power to our purpose.

To your distraction-free purpose,
Chris

PS The Man on Purpose Course starts tomorrow, April 17th, and there's still time to register and lock in your seat in the course. Go here to register for the course. One man who took the course last year said:

“The course opened me up to the desire and passion to start living as a man who lives to be more of service in all aspects of life. Not “what is my purpose?” but rather how to LIVE with purpose!” — Edward Werger

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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Curious about Why you are Here? Special Q&A Call!

Special Q&A Call Tonight & Important Announcement

We've received a lot of great questions over the last week around the topic of purpose and wanting to know more about our upcoming course — Man On Purpose: The Essential 7-Week Online Course for Men which starts on April 17th.

As I mentioned in my last post, George Daranyi and I will be hosting a special interactive Q&A call tonight – Tuesday April 15th. We will be answering some of the most frequently asked questions about the course, and also about how you can access your hidden power to activate your passions and purpose in the world.

If you have any lingering questions about the course, please join this special Q&A call TONIGHT, MARCH 15TH at 5:30 pm Pacific Time to get the answers you need.

===========================================

Here's how to access the Q&A Session with George and me:

TONIGHT at 5:30 pm Pacific / 8:30 pm Eastern / 12:30 am+1 UTC

To listen by webcast online, go to:

http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventid=54169320

To listen by phone dial:
Number: (425) 440-5100
Access code: 405934#

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A number of men who have experienced the work with us were eager to share how it had improved and changed their lives:

“They showed me how I had been asleep for most of my life, and how I needed to “awaken” and take charge of my life, to take responsibility and be accountable for my actions. In the program, I received the tools to get back into integrity with my family, my friends, and mainly with myself… I learned that it in order to make a difference in this world, to live into my purpose, I first had to change myself.” — Joe A.

“Chris' approach helped me to see where I'm not showing up fully in my life and the shadows that were holding me back. His intuition and awareness guided me to confront these shadows and helped me stay present, even when it was uncomfortable. With Chris's help, I found my growing edge and learned how to take what I experienced in the sessions into my professional and social life, my intimate relations and most of all, my inner journey. By experiencing this place of “deep knowingness”, purpose and fierce love, I experienced the essence of my true nature.” — Tim C.

I also wanted to let you know that our 3-payment option ends this Friday. So if you're planning to register for the course and would benefit from the option of spreading the payments over three months, be sure to register by tomorrow to take advantage of this opportunity.

To learn more and register visit the course information page.

To living your purpose,
Chris Kyle & George Daranyi

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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What is your Doubting Voice keeping you from? – Purpose Block #2

If you missed the first post: here are the 3 Purpose Blocks:
The Fear Triad
The Doubting Voice
The Distraction Vortex

As we move further along our purpose journey path we're likely to run into the second purpose block: The Doubting Voice.

This Doubting Voice inside you might sound like this:

  • Do you really think you can live your purpose — what about making enough money for the family?
  • It sounds too risky to shift careers now… why would you want to do that?
  • Where will you get the support to take on this new project?
  • What happens if it doesn't work out?
  • Do you think you have the talent to write your book, it's really difficult…

Essentially, this inner voice is that part of our thought pattern that is negatively questioning everything we say or do.

And the problem is that when your Doubting Voice collides with your Calling, your unfolding purpose, then it wants to find all the ways to keep you from going to the “unknown edge” — to the places that you'll have to extend yourself, to risk, and to grow in likely uncomfortable ways.

The Doubting Voice's mission is to eliminate risk, keep things the “safe”, and to NOT be uncomfortable. This obviously puts you at odds with yourself at times, and why it is a core block to living your purpose.

So, how do we work with and neutralize our Doubting Voice?

I have found that the best way to work with the Doubting Voice is to make friends with it.

I know, easier said than done. But here's my process of be-friending, or said another way, integrating my inner Doubter.

Start with naming the Doubting Voice in you. You might call it: Doubting Dude, or Cantankerous Cathy, or simply Mr. Doubter. What this does is twofold:

Brings lightness and humor to that part of ourselves that is pretty heavy and a limiter to our full, authentic expression
Allows the witnessing part of yourself to arrive so you can see the bigger perspective beyond your fearful, doubting ego-mind thoughts/voices.

Then it's time to have a brief dialogue with your Doubter. It flows like this:

"M. Doubter, do you have some true wisdom for me that I should know about?” Here you're investigating for important information that might be in the doubting voice. A grain of truth that you feel may be important to the issue at hand. Listen to what comes back.

Then say to yourself: “Thank you for sharing. I don't need you at this time. I'm now going to make room for a choice that is for my highest good – my empowered choice.”

And now there is space for you to make a new choice toward your purpose, toward that which brings you more alive.

In the Man on Purpose Course , George Daranyi and I will speak on how to turn your negative inner voices (what we call Inner Bullies) into allies for your growth and expansion. So, I encourage you to let your Doubting Voice be the new fuel for your growth, for a deeper self-acceptance, that will bring more energy and clarity to your purpose work.

To your purpose adventure,
Chris

PS George and I are hosting a special live Q&A Call on Tuesday, April 15th at 5:30 pm PT / 8:30 pm ET to answer all your questions about the upcoming Man on Purpose Course , which starts on April 17th. Mark you calendars now and we'll be sending out Access Details on Monday. Go here to learn more and register for the course.

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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What stops you from claiming or more fully living your purpose?

The challenge I see constantly with people who want clarity of purpose, or want to bring more energy or focus to it, is that there's at least one BIG block   (if not several) in their life that's keeping them from being fully engaged and lit up by their purpose.

I'd like to share with you the top 3 Purpose Blocks   that I've discovered through the purpose work I've done with hundreds of people over the years; and then how to move through these blocks. Today I'll focus on Purpose Block #1.

Here are the 3 Purpose Blocks:

  1. The Fear Triad
  2. The Doubting Voice
  3. The Distraction Vortex

Purpose Block #1 is the Fear Triad . I have consistently found three specific fears that people face when diving into discovering their purpose, OR when they are trying to put the vision of their purpose into action in the world. The three core purpose fears are:

  • Fear of Survival (mostly financial)
  • Fear of Failure
  • Fear of Ridicule

The survival instinct is deeply rooted in our old brain, the reptilian brain, and is now, in our modern culture, mostly connected with our financial resources.

So the Fear of Survival   unfolds like this: If you choose to go after your purpose, living it fully, then it may drain ALL your resources and/or not be sustainable in the future, and you won't “make it” — you won't survive. You won't be able to pay the bills and feed your family. So, it's just easier to avoid the question about purpose altogether than to face the possibility that you might not survive by living the “fantasy” of your purpose.

The Fear of Failure inside our purpose exploration can become more pronounced because the call of our purpose may stretch us into unknown areas, or test us with new approaches or concepts.

It may unfold like this: If you go for what you really want, your purpose, and fail; then you've failed on the really BIG one in life — living your purpose.” This would not just be failing on a project or a task, but may have the sense of a “whole-person failure” — the message being: “I am a failure in my life.”
The Fear of Ridicule unfolds like this: if your purpose is calling you to do something different in your life, to take on a new vision for your life with a new set of actions, you may find yourself misunderstood by family, friends, colleagues and maybe even your partner.

This exposes you to people's reactions, their own fear and their ridicule. The fear may arise that you'll be laughed, belittled or rejected because your ideas seem non-conventional or simply strange to others.
So, here is the 3-step flow of how to work with these natural fears in the Fear Triad:

> Awareness of the Fear
Notice and acknowledge the fear. It is important to pause yourself and take a deeper look inside at what these fears are for you. Name them in your OWN way and in your words. Bringing them out of the shadow and into the light of your conscious mind is the first step.

> Allow and Embrace
Once you are aware of your unique flavor of the fear, then you're ready to embrace this fear as simply a part of you and a mechanism that your ego-mind uses to keep you safe.

This means accepting the fear with self-compassion and seeing it as a natural part of your growth and evolution as a human being. It's important for you to watch your tendency to push the fear away, to deny it or pretend it's not there.

> Open to a New Choice
As you allow and embrace your fear, it begins to lose its hold and power over you. It may still be there, but it's been seen, named and embraced. So, now it's time to make a new choice that supports your highest growth and calling in the moment.

What you thought was just not possible before because of one of these fears, now may seem possible. Make a NEW choice that serves you and your passionate, creative expression.

In the Man on Purpose 7-Week Online Course we teach you a powerful tool called the Reframing Process that will help you reframe your fear messages and shift them to new possibilities and new choices.
Go to our course information page to learn more.

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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Réveil téléphonique

Category: Memoir

by Gonzalo Salinas

Every morning after my run on the beach and my morning rituals, as I drive to work, I see the kids from the South Beach Elementary crossing the street, I see the cuban windows full of people buying their morning cafe cubano , I see the many yoga fans carrying their mat to their morning practice and I see the magic atmosphere of the beach waking up and starting the day.

I cross the MacArthur causeway admiring the breathtaking view, with the Miami skyline and the port of Miami on one side and the mansions in front of the ocean and the Miami bay on the other one. I take the I95, my usual shortcut to the roads in Coral Way to get to my office.

I'm grateful for all the things I get to see every morning. Pourquoi? Because everything I get to see every day is a blessing. I know it firsthand…

south beach

When I was a kid, I absolutely loved to play. I was always organizing the games. I remember always playing with my older brothers, with my friends or my cousins. Inventing games, running, jumping, screaming … one of my favorites was playing soccer with a paper ball covered in duct tape. I was always busy being a kid.

Sometimes at school, the bell rang earlier than usual. I was very happy because I had the chance to go home and play, but, at that young age, I wasn't aware of how dangerous the reason was of why they were sending us home hours before the end of the school day.

My grade school was threatened by the terrorist movements of Shining Path or the Tupac Amaru Revolutionary Movement. Both terrorist groups that had taken my city, Lima, and were destroying everything they touched. When they threatened the school, the only solution was sending everyone home for the day. Most of the time, these were false alarms, somebody calling for no reason, but in the rest of the city, you couldn't go to a cafe or a restaurant because the terrorist were bombing the commercial areas, public offices, banks, private companies and every public place you could possibly imagine, spreading chaos and terror all over Lima and the rest of the country.

I grew up on that environment, without being aware of the constant risk that was just walking on the streets of my city. In 12 years of horror from 1980 to 1992, the result was approximately 70 thousand people killed. Fortunately the Peruvian government was able to bring the terror to an end.

There are many places in the world right now, like Pakistan, Iraq or Somalia where terrorism is part of the daily life. I feel so blessed to live where I live now. And I am awake – awake to the reality that not everyone experiences the world I live in. And I am also responsible for staying awake.

So every morning, I am grateful for what I see on my way to work. Gratitude, for me, is the opposite of fear. Be grateful for what you have and send your positive energies or say a prayer for those places where terror is the reality. I pray for a world where all the kids can go to the streets, and play.

Gonzalo photo

Gonzalo Salinas is an Assistant Editor for the ManKind Project Journal, a publication of the ManKind Project, a nonprofit mentoring and training organization offering powerful opportunities for men's personal growth at any stage of life. Salinas studied Literature in Lima, Peru at San Marcos University, and has been living in the United States since 2003. He lives in Miami, FL. Salinas is committed to his own personal development, and to spreading the word about the vision and mission of the Mankind Project .

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Lighting the Darkness – Lumos

Guest Post

New Warrior Brother Michael Marlin from Hawaii will enlighten audiences with his stage production of LUMA: Art in Darkness during a ten-city tour at performing art centers across the country beginning March 28th.

A top comedy juggler who played Las Vegas and opened for the likes of Jay Leno, Jerry Seinfeld, George Carlin, and REM, Marlin walked away from his successful solo career in 1986. He sold his house in Redondo Beach, CA and moved to the island of Hawaii to co-found an alternative community while building and living in a tree house with no electricity.

In 1989 while standing on an active lava flow he noticed the hypnotic effect it had on people and had the epiphany, “All life is drawn to light.”

This was the genesis of LUMA, a show that has now appeared in 15 countries, 44 states and has been touring since 1998. LUMA, with a cast of seven, is a show about the subject of light that combines all manner of physical disciplines from rhythmic gymnastics, puppetry, magic, dance, acrobatics, physics and experimental methods.

Fused with a myriad of light technology from incandescent to bioluminescent, from LEDs to lasers, the tour will take it from Arizona to Massachusetts over a five-week period.

“Three years ago Marlin came to Houston and opened with his juggling act,” Sonny Elliot, a ManKind Project ritual elder recalls, “[LUMA] was a brilliant and over-the-top performance. With the 'visual' music and 'technical' dancing, along with the crowd's enthusiasm, it was a home run.”

In manifesting his vision of LUMA, Marlin encountered a lot of skepticism. He has stayed true to his brainchild, expanding the show and building on new technology as it has evolved, watching as other artists have recently flirted with some of the theatrical light elements he has pioneered, popularizing it on shows like “America's Got Talent”.

Marlin has long been a pioneer and visionary. His work in the field of comedy and juggling back in the 70's and early 80's influenced a generation of jugglers who followed. Barry Friedman from the ManKind Project in Northern California and half of the juggling duo “The Raspini Brothers”, reports, “I remember standing in our family kitchen when I was 18 years old and seeing Michael Marlin on a TV show called Real People.”

“It showed me a bigger picture of what was possible if I stuck with juggling: the possibility of having fun and making people laugh. Marlin has continued to raise the bar both artistically and professionally. His show LUMA has brilliantly merged the visual appeal of juggling with the mind-boggling technology of electronically controlled lighting.”

COME SEE LUMOS

Come see LUMOS this spring.

“The journey to take a vision bigger than one person can pull off and turn it into a physical manifestation with so many moving parts was daunting,” says Marlin. “The work I have done in the ManKind Project has helped me in an incalculable way in my ability to lead others in a clean way and not pull my hair out, (or theirs) when things don't go as planned.”

“I have no doubt that the ripples Marlin is making in the lives of both his audiences and the members of his cast will spread out and touch millions of lives,” said Friedman.

Ticket information and videos of LUMA can be found online at http://www.lumatheater.com .

Show Schedule:

March 26th Gilbert, AZ – Higley Center
April 4th Ft. Collins, CO – Lincoln Center
April 6th Santa Fe, NM – Lensic Theater
April 7th Las Vegas, NM – University of New Mexico Highland Center
April 11th Chippewa Falls, WI – Heyde Center
April 12th Madison, WI – Barrymore Theater
April 13th Schaumberg, IL – Prairie Performing Arts Center
April 20/21st Roanoke, VA – Jefferson Center
April 27th Storrs, CT – University of Connecticut Jorgensen Center
April 29th Queens, NY – Queens College
May 2nd Worcester, MA – Hanover Theater

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Video: “The Revolution is Love” with Charles Eisenstein

shared by Chris Kyle

This powerful 4-minute video features Charles Eisenstein, author of Sacred Economics , from a documentary about the Occupy Movement. Charles will be a featured speaker at the ManKind Project USA's upcoming Power of Purpose Online Summit in March 2014 (more details are coming soon).

I love Charles' last line of this video clip: “…Everybody has a unique calling and it's really time to listen to that. That's what the future is going to be. It's time to get ready for it, and contribute to it, and help make it happen.”

Charles Eisenstein is a teacher, speaker, and writer focusing on themes of civilization, consciousness, money, and human cultural evolution. He is the author of 6 books includingSacred Economics, The Ascent of Humanity and The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible.

“Remember that self-doubt is as self-centered as self-inflation. Your obligation is to reach as deeply as you can and offer your unique and authentic gifts as bravely and beautifully as you're able.”
— Bill Plotkin, author of Soulcraft*

* Bill is also speaking at the Power of Purpose Summit in March.

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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My Elder Soul ~ a poem

Category: Men as Elders , Poetry

by Reuel Czach

Elders, we are losing our Soul.
We are so caught up individually in petty offenses
and bickering and wounded-ness,
that we are letting our civilization and our planet die.
But most importantly,
we are letting our souls die.

When I chose to be wounded,
and walk through life withdrawn in my cave,
or I choose to be over-armored,
to the point of being weighed down,
with such heavy baggage,
nothing else matters,
…..my soul is lost.

I chose to take a step toward claiming,
my lost soul,
when I chose to meet with men in an honest, open circle.

I choose my soul,
when I decide to be so humble,
that no one can offend me.

I choose my soul,
when I chose wisdom,
over being right.

I choose my soul,
when I chose service,
over selfishness.

I choose my soul,
when I chose looking within,
to find all the evil I see outside myself.

I choose my soul,
when I walk the path of life,
where I am nothing,
and I am everything,
in sacred balance.
My choices mean everything,
my offenses mean nothing.

My offenses mean I still have inner work to do
and for the sake of generations to come,
I better get it done as quickly as possible.

My choices mean I have the power to save myself,
my loved ones, my friends, and possibly many more people,
from a mean, selfishness and a lonely death.

I feel great sadness and sorrow,
for all that is being lost.

While the distractions of hurt,
wounded-ness and bickering,
suck so much energy out of my soul,
…..and the soul of my people.

Every hurt and wound and chance to be right,
is a mirror of my soul,
and an opportunity to heal.

Fais le! Choose healing.
Then choose wisdom and kindness,
and be the Elder you were meant to be.

Distractions are my enemy,
anything that tries to pull me off,
my narrow mission.

I just need to let Spirit control my life,
where my spirit joins and serves,
a much bigger wisdom,
than I could ever fully understand.

I am asked this day to request of myself,
and men who call themselves Elders.
A humble request,
that we focus on the wisdom to light a path,
for those who come after us.
Humble man, Jan 2014

Reuel Czach

Reuel Czach is a 60 year old, Christian man with a wonderful wife and two sons, a daughter and a stepson. He has lived in San Luis Obispo County, California for over 30 years and practiced architecture for most of those years. Czach is an I-Group Coordinator for the Swallow Creek Coastal Circle in Cayucos. He actively supports and builds the Elder community in San Luis Obispo and is the Co-Elder Chair of the MKP Santa Barbara Community. Czach leads a weekly men's circle in my church and is a leader in the men's ministry.

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