Invité Message: une bénédiction et un défi pour la nouvelle année

Réédité avec la permission de Masculinity-Movies.com par Eivind Figenschau Skjellum

(Message vidéo au bas)

201 Earth 4 a été une année de changement et de croissance énorme pour moi et la plupart des gens que je connais et de l'amour.

Si vous êtes quelqu'un qui est dans une conversation honnête avec votre vie, je parie que vous avez eu la même expérience. Nous sommes à bien des égards en dessus de nos têtes, avec une vie pleine d'activité. Et tandis que "l'activité" utilisé pour signifier que nous faisons beaucoup de choses différentes dans la dimension extérieure espace-temps, cette rapidité a depuis longtemps infiltré nos mondes intérieurs ainsi.

La conséquence est que nous semblons être transformer, pour le meilleur ou pour le pire, plus rapidement que jamais. Les gens semblent être «popping» partout. En effet, le réveil de la transe de la vie conventionnelle ne semble plus réservé pour les méditants hardcore seulement.

Nous sommes devenus marre avec le «vieux monde», avons-nous pas? Ce serré-cul, hyper-rationnelle, consumériste, destructrice, déprimé monde semble perdre progressivement son emprise sur l'humanité, et tandis que sa conscience ne doit jamais être éliminé ( ça fait partie de la spirale de l'évolution que nous devons tous traverser), il semble prêt à perdre son statut de top dog.

Ce sont de bonnes nouvelles!

Les mauvaises nouvelles sont que sur le chemin vers le bas, il semble tout à fait prêt à prendre le éco-système entier avec elle. Vous pensez que le problème est "là dehors", mais ce processus vers un effondrement écologique est alimentée par des gens normaux comme vous et moi qui sont tout simplement trop occupé, contestée ou déprimé d'aller chercher les réponses à leurs problèmes dans leurs mondes intérieurs. Ainsi, au lieu, ils continuent à acheter de la merde, ils ne doivent pas, polluant les deux leur vie intérieure et de la planète dans le processus. Nous sommes probablement les personnes les plus dépendantes le monde ait jamais connues.

Cette planète a tout ce qu'il faut pour prospérer. Et si nous devions prendre cette occasion pour se tourner vers la vie de la santé mentale, notre avenir est prometteur. Mais pour que cela se produise, nous devons, dans un sens, mourir.

A défaut de structures d'identité dans un monde en mutation

"Le monde est changé. Je me sens dans l'eau, je me sens dans la terre, je sens en l'air ". Ainsi ouvre le début de la version longue du Seigneur des Anneaux l'épopée. Pour ceux qui ont fait un travail intérieur profond et ouvert la porte à la mystique dans leur vie, les mots de Galadriel sonner vrai de nos jours. L'autre jour, je pouvais sentir comme une «charge électrique» et, un silence enceinte d'un autre monde dans l'air. Un ami l'a décrit comme "le calme avant la tempête".

Il semble que ces changements dans l'âme collective de l'humanité et l'air spirituel que nous respirons sont causant un grand nombre de gens à venir face à face avec leurs structures d'identité faux. Je suis allé à travers ce processus en 2014 et beaucoup de mes amis non plus ne passent par ou sont en elle maintenant. Nous sommes devenus si allergique à nous-mêmes (un concept poète David Whyte parle magnifiquement) que nous avons été obligés d'abandonner nos attachements à nos structures d'identité du vieux monde et tomber dans le creuset alchimique des enfers initiation.

Et dans cette chute de vieilles reliques du monde de nos géographies intérieures, les paysages de la connectivité et de mysticisme semblent ouvrir. Ce ne sont pas woo-woo. Ces phénomènes sont étudiés dans les établissements d'apprentissage estimés comme Harvard et le MIT (consulter la recherche de Robert Kegan ou Susann Cook-Greuter pour plus d'informations).

Non seulement sont des pratiquants de graves frappent leurs voyages Nekyia, en route vers leur pleine souveraineté incarnée, "gens normaux" commencent à se réveiller ainsi. Je l'ai fait ma propre contribution à ce processus, en particulier avec mon travail de Trône intérieure, et beaucoup, je suis heureux de dire, ont été se réveiller à travers la matière, je l'ai proposé. (Je ne parle évidemment pas ici l'illumination, mais de devenir présenter à quelques vérités rocheux sur qui nous sommes et comment nous fonctionnons.)

Que se passe-t-il?

Il semble que nous sommes à une étape dans l'histoire humaine où les forces de l'évolution ont appuyé sur le bouton rouge "nitro" et sont l'accélération de suite dans une sorte de crescendo. (Se souvenir de ceux amusant jeux de retour dans les années 90 au volant?)

Où allons-nous?

Je lis sur la vie de Carl Jung maintenant, et je suis intrigué et impressionné par le niveau de l'orientation, il a ouvert à sa vie. Il était un homme vraiment remarquable. En 1913, il avait eu une prémonition de mauvaises nouvelles dans le monde, tout comme dans la voix-off de Galadriel. Et comme nous le savons tous, la Première Guerre mondiale a commencé l'année d'après.

Dr. Jung était clairement un très intuitive, à l'écoute l'homme et je ne doute pas une seconde que sa prémonition était plus qu'une simple coïncidence. Alors, quand un homme conscient ne peut mettre le doigt sur le pouls du monde et de le lire de façon précise, ce que devons-nous penser lorsque des milliers de personnes conscientes sentent simultanément exactement la même chose? Que devons-nous faire de ce sentiment collectif persistante que nous nous dirigeons vers le point de "Championnes à tout prix"? Allons-nous adopter la stratégie de l'autruche et prétendre rien qui se passe?

Ou allons-nous relever la tâche et assumer la responsabilité pour un monde qui plane periluously près de la catastrophe?

Fantasmes Armageddon

Le monde est si beau. Pourtant, il peut être un endroit assez effrayant. Pour la crise écologique est pas notre seule: Une grande partie de l'humanité sont maintenant attiser les flammes de leurs fantasmes de armageddon humides. Des millions de croyants "bons" sont en même temps, à partir des côtés opposés du globe, en invoquant la fin du monde. «peuple élu» mythologies comme ceux de l'aile droite des chrétiens et des musulmans radicaux soutiennent que le vieux monde doit se terminer avant le nouveau monde va renaître. La conséquence est qu'ils vont, plus ou moins consciemment, à encourager toute évolution dans le monde qui favorisent la venue de la fin des temps. Essentiellement, le plus tôt sera le monde va chier le mieux. Dans leur esprit, vous voyez, il ya une telle chose comme le paradis, et il est pas sur la terre comme nous la connaissons! (Qui est ce qui arrive quand vous l'exil l'archétype amant à l'au-delà)

Donc, comprendre qu'il ya beaucoup de gens qui pensent que le monde devrait se terminer dès que possible et que tout ce que vous faites dans le service de la sauver est en fait un obstacle à l'accomplissement de leur peuple élu mythologie. Bien sûr, vous ne pouvez pas faire campagne politique avec de telles idées, mais cela ne vous empêche pas d'être encore fonctionner par eux.

Quand vous comprenez que des millions de personnes - et un grand pourcentage de Fox Nouvelles observation Américains et les politiciens - vivent réellement dans ce paradigme, vous pouvez commencer à obtenir très peur en effet.

Et cela est, mais le début des défis auxquels nous sommes confrontés!

Ah, l'humanité! Nous vous fait un gâchis de cette fois.

Devenir gardiens de l'équilibre

Si vous êtes l'un des nombreux qui ont eu un aperçu de la réalité - qui ont vu le vrai visage de la folie que (encore) régit l'humanité - vous ne pouvez pas prétendre plus être d'accord avec la vie conventionnelle. Et je crois que 2015 est une année où vous devrez accepter les conséquences de ce que vous avez vu plus pleinement que jamais. Ceci est une bénédiction et une malédiction. Il donnera lieu à une joie immense, même bonheur. Et il va vous combler avec désespoir.

Une chose est claire pour moi: Lorsque vous prenez la pilule rouge, vous ne pouvez pas l'annuler. Vous ne pouvez pas brancher de nouveau dans l'illusion que si vous ne l'aviez pas vu la vérité. Voilà pour les personnages dans des films seulement. Comme celui qui sait, vous devez soit assumer le leadership dans le processus de l'accouchement le «nouveau monde» ou vous devez souffrir profondément essayer de prétendre que vous pouvez être heureux dans la vieille. La souffrance que vous pouvez rencontrer en 2015 est tout simplement la façon de vous dire que vous êtes hors de l'alignement avec la réalité de votre âme. Lui faire confiance.

Et sachez que il ya une vague d'éveil à laver dans le monde entier. Ce ne sont pas un concept nouveau-âge banal; Je vois des signes de cela dans ma vie tous les jours, comme je suis dans la position privilégiée de compter certains des agents les plus puissants de changement dans le monde comme des amis.

Ce que je veux pour vous, cher lecteur, est que vous laissez-vous inspirer par tout cela. Il n'a jamais, dans toute l'histoire de l'humanité, eu un moment où les forces du monde ont été plus parfaitement alignés pour les personnes comme vous de découvrir et donnez leur excellent travail. Ceci est un cadeau pour vous. Il arrive aussi d'être un impératif moral. Votre vie joue un rôle crucial en nous tous d'obtenir en toute sécurité à travers ce drame humain qui se déroule. Si vous découvrez que vous êtes ici pour faire, et ensuite le faire, nous allons tous avoir une meilleure chance de faire à travers.

Et en branchant au réseau mondial des agents de changement qui sont activement relever ces défis, vous découvrirez des amitiés comme vous ne l'avez jamais connu. Dans le monde réel, en restant dans la matrice est tout simplement pas aussi amusant que de le débrancher de lui.

Voici l'affaire: Si la réalisation et de la masculinité pouvoir est ce que vous êtes après, vous ne devez pas vraiment un choix; vous devez engager avec la bataille pour l'âme de l'humanité dès que possible. Tout le reste sera hors de l'intégrité avec votre vocation et la profonde dépression et la souffrance vous vous sentez vous rappellera tous les jours.

Vous pouvez dire à quel point vous êtes sur la bonne voie à partir de votre niveau de comportement addictif. Si vous êtes gravement dépendants, mais des pensées idéalistes, vous êtes encore un symptôme de la maladie et non la guérison. Avoir de belles idées ne suffit pas - vous devez engager avec la vie. Vous devez accepter votre destin en tant que gardien de l'équilibre du monde.

Notre survie est en jeu. Debout.

Mai 2015 être votre meilleure année jamais

Il ya beaucoup de discussions dans le monde de l'auto-développement de la création de votre vie parfaite. Oui, il est important d'avoir une bonne vie. Je veux que vous, tout comme je veux que pour moi-même. Mais il est un point de vue limité. Pensant que le but de votre existence est simplement de créer une bonne vie pour vous-même va créer une mauvaise vie pour vous-même. Pour une bonne vie se trouve à donner. Apprendre à recevoir ouvertement est plus important que vous pouvez penser, mais d'apprendre à donner est durablement plus encore. En fait, il semble que votre niveau de bonheur est en proportion directe avec le niveau de service que vous offrez aux autres.

D'une certaine manière étrange et ironique, votre vie est pas vraiment sur vous. Voilà ce que je veux que vous réveillez au 2015. Vous vivez pour être pleinement donné suite. Vous devez mourir un récipient vide ou ce que vous mourez avec IS regrets.

Je vais donner toute mon énergie à cette alchimie globale dans le temps à venir. Et je serais honoré si vous me laissez jouer un rôle dans votre éveil. Le Reclaim vos Ateliers Inner Trône et de la formation en ligne sont de puissants moyens de le débrancher de l'illusion et de vous mettre sur la voie de la souveraineté ( voir calendrier ). Et je vous offre un puissant entraîneur-à-tête pour ceux qui veulent prendre plus profondément.

Que vous choisissez de travailler avec moi ou non, je l'espère sincèrement - à partir du fond de mon cœur - que cela devienne une année incroyable pour vous. Vraiment, il n'y a jamais eu de meilleur moment pour les années étonnantes. Mais les enjeux sont élevés, plus élevés qu'ils ne l'ont jamais été. Vous pouvez constater que vous devrez renoncer à beaucoup de choses qui vous tiennent à cœur de manifester cette vie joyeuse de service.

Comme pour moi et Masculinity-Movies.com, je ne sais pas avec certitude ce qui se passera. Mon énergie ira à l'endroit où il a le plus grand impact. I love connexion avec vous ici sur ce site, et si cette garde à changer des vies, je vais continuer à le faire. Ce que je sais, sans l'ombre d'un doute, cependant, est que vous me trouverez à pied d'œuvre propagation travail intérieur Trône dans le monde. Et je serais ravi de vous voir dans un atelier ou d'une formation en ligne bientôt!

Une nouvelle année très heureux de vous, amis et disciples de Masculinity-Movies.com. Puissiez-vous augmenter et augmenter à nouveau, avec le cœur et avec ardeur, et de devenir qui vous êtes vraiment.

Mes meilleurs voeux pour votre meilleure année jamais,
Eivind Figenschau Skjellum,
Fondateur de Masculinity-Movies.com
et créateur du processus Inner Trône

Eivind Skjellum

Eivind Skjellum, est le fondateur de la masculinité Films, où cela a été publié dans son blog. Eivind achevé la formation par l'aventure Nouvelle Guerrier en Juin 2011. Lire sur son expérience ICI. Il est aussi une autorité sur Robert Moore et le système de Douglas Gillette des archétypes roi, guerrier, magicien, amant. Eivind fondée authentique Norvège, une branche de World authentique aux États-Unis en 2011. Il est également le créateur de la Reclaim Votre Inner Trône de formation en ligne.

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Symboles de la transformation - Talisman

par Randy Marks

Symboles de la Transformation

Symboles de la Transformation

Il ya neuf ans, je suis entré au Mankind Project ( MKP.org ) après avoir terminé la formation par l'aventure Nouvelle Guerrier (AING). Le projet change le monde en aidant les hommes à guérir et à servir les autres, y compris leurs familles, amis et toute l'humanité.

Le Talisman je reçus à ce AING est probablement ma possession la plus précieuse. Il était à l'origine juste une pochette rouge sur un cordon de cuir. Au fil des ans, ajoutai-je beaucoup de perles et d'autres objets. Certains, je suis à d'autres formations et des retraites. Mais la plupart sont venus à la fin de la fin de NWTAs que je STAFFED pour les autres hommes.

Dotation 36 NWTAs m'a donné de nouveaux amis et bien plus encore. Je ai eu le privilège d'aider et de témoigner des centaines d'hommes à transformer leur vie en guérissant leurs blessures, embrassant une mission de service, et la connexion avec d'autres hommes. Et je suis devenu comme un homme en travaillant sur des objectifs à chaque dotation, comme à l'autonomisation des autres hommes pour être brillant, et avoir plus confiance en moi.

En travaillant sur les objectifs et d'être ouvert à l'apprentissage quelque chose de tout à fait inattendu, je me suis transformé. Je reconnais à peine l'homme gênant, anxieux, de contrôle, et le dégoût de soi que je étais il ya près d'une décennie, bien que je l'avoue, ces qualités parfois émerger encore.

Donc je chéris mon Talisman comme image de mon voyage d'être un homme aimant et puissant. Il représente les leçons apprises, des cadeaux donnés et reçus, de la transformation et de l'autonomisation, et, surtout, l'amour.

Randy Marks

Randy Marks a été lancé dans le projet de l'humanité en Juin 2005. Il a obtenu son BS, MBA, JD et diplômes de l'Université de Pennsylvanie. Il a servi comme avocat Federal Trade Commission de 1980 à 2014, travaillant principalement à promouvoir la concurrence dans les industries de la santé. À la retraite, ses objectifs sont l'amour, Voyage, et le service. NWTAs dotation est une de ses passions respectueux des lois. Il vit à Takoma Park, Maryland, juste à l'extérieur de Washington, DC.

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Lumière du soleil Défaites Shame

par Dave Klaus

Dave et l'arc-en-

Dave et l'arc-en-

Je dois une relation très différente avec honte que je l'ai fait il ya quelques années. En effet, comme je l'ai appris à pardonner et à aimer moi-même, il vient rarement du tout. Mais quand il le fait, je choisis de creuser droite, glaner toutes les informations utiles de la sensation, puis laissez-le aller.

Mais je me sentais beaucoup de honte.

Je croyais vraiment qu'il y avait quelque chose de terriblement mal avec moi; que je suis un monstre, un cinglé, sui generis: vraiment seul dans le monde. Chaque fois que je faisais une erreur, plutôt que de me pardonner, je viens d'ajouter une autre raison de se sentir mal.

Les données ne sont pas vraiment utiles, mais voici quelques exemples de choses que je faisais à avoir honte: avoir mauvaise acné, de dire des mensonges, d'être paresseux, ayant peu de capacité à parler avec les filles / femmes, étant privilégiée, étant gâté, étant dire aux gens, et le meilleur de tous, la honte d'être honte.

La voix de la honte est puissant. Contrairement à la culpabilité, qui se sent mal pour faire un acte spécifique, la honte se sent mal juste pour être. Sociologue Brene Brown définit utilement dommage car la crainte de déconnexion: la crainte que si un autre homme venait à me connaître vraiment et voir dans mon âme, ils reculent dans le dégoût et Shun moi pour toujours.

La cruelle ironie de cette croyance est qu'elle conduit à une guérison plus insidieuse. Lorsque je joue de la honte, mon effort maladroit pour me protéger du jugement et de la séparation me conduit à présenter une fausse façade dans le monde; d'isoler et de me cacher.

Le «remède» produit ainsi la «maladie» très je tentais d'éviter: Being Alone!

Il a quelque chose comme ça quand la honte a commencé à parler: "Vous êtes une fraude, un imposteur, vous êtes un morceau de merde !! Si quelqu'un savait vraiment que vous, vous seriez foutu! NO ONE aimeriez-vous! Personne ne vous aime! Alors ... Ne parlez à personne la vérité. Imaginez que tout est tout simplement génial !! Tenez-IN! "

Ugh. Ça fait mal d'entendre à nouveau cette voix.

Dans cacher mes vrais sentiments, je créé un isolement de la honte.

Et dans un cycle tragiquement familier, ma tristesse signifierait la honte, la honte deviendrait toxique, et puis je serait inévitablement tomber dans le désespoir et la dépression. Ce funk sombre pourrait durer des semaines, voire des mois, et a été la désactivation à la fois.

Heureusement, comme enseigne le Dr Brown, il est un remède efficace pour la honte, mais il ne se cache pas: il est l'honnêteté et de la vulnérabilité. Quand je commençais à partager honnêtement mes sentiments, des craintes et des préoccupations, je trouve qu'ils ont diminué et dissipent une rapidité surprenante. Je commençais à voir que quand je suis honnête et à venir, quand je me rends vulnérables, les gens viennent en fait plus proche plutôt que de se dérober. Souvent, ils me remercient même.

Les voix de la honte sont comme des vampires: ils sont sinistre et puissante dans l'obscurité, mais lorsqu'il est exposé à la lumière, ils se consument. Dans le processus, ils sont souvent exposés comme jokers hilarantes et loufoques: Jerry Lewis semblant d'être Bela Lugosi.

Alors la prochaine fois que vous entendez que harceler et la voix impitoyable de la honte, tourner les tables sur elle: au lieu de vous cacher dans l'obscurité, à ouvrir les nuances et laisser au soleil.

Essayez de partager votre vérité avec un bon ami, avec votre cercle de soutien, ou peut-être même avec vos amis Facebook.

Il devient plus facile et plus facile avec le temps et la pratique, et vous apprendrez le long du chemin que beaucoup d'autres se sentent exactement comme vous, mais avaient peur de le dire. En exposant vos sentiments à la lumière du soleil vous pourrez vous permettre d'être vraiment vu et apprécié, et vous montrer aux autres qu'il est sécuritaire et utile pour partager et être vulnérable;

Vous allez guérir le monde de même que vous vous guérir en partageant ce message: la lumière du soleil bat honte.

Dave Klaus

Dave Klaus a trouvé une nouvelle passion et le but quand il a rejoint Le Mankind Project en 2010. Cela montre dans son travail comme un défenseur public à Oakland, en Californie; dans sa communauté, en tant que leader et organisateur; dans sa vie artistique comme un écrivain et poète; et surtout, dans sa famille, comme un père engagé et mari. Il vient de lancer un nouveau blog   que vous pouvez trouver à www.daveklaus.net , ou   sur facebook au Respirez, Burn, Bee.

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Yep. Je étais Scrooge.

par Dave K

Hier soir, je pris ma famille pour voir «A Christmas Carol». Il est devenu une tradition pour nous, et il est vraiment l'un des rares traditions des fêtes que nous célébrons. Je l'ai vu ce spectacle de nombreuses fois, mais celui-ci m'a frappé particulièrement dur.

For decades, I was a Scrooge when it came to Christmas. I could rant and rant about killing trees, and commercialism, and phony temporary brotherhood. I was a humbug through and through.

Mostly though I got sad and depressed.

Then one year my daughter, 10, announced “I don't like Christmas either, because Daddy gets so sad.”

This devastated me.

Arrows in, Arrows Out.

I went to I-Group the next day and did some big work around the holiday and my mom and the way she handled it (and mis-handled it.)

In the process, I came to a new place of understanding and compassion for my mom (who had already passed).

I opened my heart to the spirit behind the holiday: the same spirit we celebrate and cultivate in the ManKind Project: service, empathy, generosity, optimism, and of course love.

Since that night, I have actually enjoyed Christmas. I learned how to show up for my family in December, how to let go of my cynicism and judgments and breathe deep of pine and mistletoe.

Last night, at the theatre, I realized that Scrooge had his own hero's journey, his own New Warrior Training Adventure.

He explored his past, he woke up to the present, and he took responsibility for the future. And it shook him to his bones. He found gratitude; just for being alive, for breathing, for being human.

In the morning when he wakes in his own bed, he dances and sings and says “I am a baby again.”. And he races out to give away his heart and his money.

I had started crying earlier in the show (really as soon as Tiny Tim appeared) but now I was gushing.

I reached over to touch my son, and scratched his back and felt so much love for him and my daughter and wife.

I felt so much gratitude.

I FEEL so much gratitude.

So to you brave and loving guides, you wizards and angels of the past and present, you irrepressible Bob Crachits, I thank you. If not for you Men and this work, I'd still be a Scrooge, hiding in the dark, separate, eating the thin gruel of depression. Instead, I am free.

It's a beautiful day, and it's Christmas time, and I am alive. I am a baby, again.

xoxoxo
dave / king bEE

Dave Klaus

In the process of digging into my inner life, I began healing old wounds and considering my habits and approaches to life. I found that I had been asleep at the wheel for a lot of life, acting out of unconscious reactions. When I decided to become radically accountable for my thoughts, actions, words, and even my feelings, I found a new passion and purpose. Learn more about me at my blog: Breathe, Burn, Bee.

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3-6-5 4-3-2-1 – Ignition

Category: Featured Content , Poetry

by Mike Morrell

My heart burned within me like a molotov cocktail
Melting atrophied organs of sense and perception
Third eyes blinking open from awakenings rude
Iridescent night vision seeing sights long subdued.

Tricksters, gods and monsters find themselves drawn in
To boys kicking off the covers revealing themselves to be men
Without apology.

Things hidden share secrets by flickering flames
Word-making devices now turning a page.

Ruthless grace shows up – mercilessly – picking me off the ground
Charred nuclear shadow where unused conscience once lay
Shrugging off my hangover from that first awful drink
'Good' and 'evil' hallucinations – that overripe fruit.
(Ferment)

“Get up, Man,” Kali taunts me, blue angel of death
Shrunk heads of men who died trying hanging mute 'round her breasts
Her lips curled in kindness, a shared moment between us
Daring me to do better, Mars rising from Venus

While Michael, archangel, the template of me
Stands silently, original, master of all that he sees
Bedouin warrior of Thrones, desert Jinn and bright devils,
Has work to do once my apocalypse settles.

Alchemy seeps down deep in my bones
Leaden dreams long abandoned now spin into gold
Boy's nightmares arouse to find themselves man's playmates
(Amid tonight's deadline and next week's penciled play-dates)

Eden – alas – left me no forwarding address
Shangri-La (from saved seeds) now blooms in its stead
Could this garden-city be New Jerusalem's nest?
I've been saving 'till now; it's time to invest.

The invitation is intuition
A ceremony of recognition – my body and blood's rhythmic repetition
Mercury's metal on my tongue and sweat on my brow
Life's transubstantiation – here and now.

Remembrance is re-cognition
Re-membering this disposition
That gives rise – then and always – to original face
Holy Sun Absolute shining shelter and grace

Kindling the compost of what had begun
Seraphim and Destroyer erect such a pyre
Food for the moon from all left undone
“Why not be utterly changed into fire?”

Mike Morrell

Mike Morrell describes himself as a wannabe mystic and prophet, husband and father, lover and friend. He's also a graced, aspiring opti-mystic friend of God in the way of Jesus – like many other scoundrels, ne'er-do-wells, and would-be saints. He lives in Raleigh, NC, with my wife Jasmin and two girls. He's the Communications Director for Presence, an Integral biblical studies nonprofit dedicated to building bridge. He's also the 'brewmaster' for the Speakeasy Network , and a co-founder of the Wild Goose Festival . He completed the New Warrior Training Adventure in May 2011.

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The tie that binds

Category: Fatherhood , Memoir

By Tim O'Connor  

As a server at a restaurant, my son Corey wears a tie. As a dutiful father, I've always provided him with the Dad-Assist Tie. That's where I tie the tie as if I'm going to wear it, but slip it over my head and give it to him.

But the time comes when a 20-year-old son must buy his father a beer in a bar. No wait… the time comes in a young man's life when he must learn to tie his own damn tie.

Recently he brought his untied tie to me said—in essence—”The time is now. Teach me this great skill of manhood.” Just a blink ago, I taught him to ride a bike. Now… this .

The lesson began with each of us with a long length hanging down the right side of our chests, the short side on the left. I had him stand beside me like we were synchronized swimmers. We didn't synch.

Man, it's hard to teach something I do in a mirror without thinking. 'How the hell do I do this?' (There's a golf lesson in there somewhere.) Eventually, I managed to coordinate my hands and words: “Fold this around, and under, now over…”

He tried about 10 or 12 times, but after each promising start, the great moment when the short end is pulled to reveal the triangular miracle of a crisp knot gave birth instead to something that looked like a highway interchange made of blue stripes.

We tried it with him standing facing me. Nan. “Nothing worth doing is ever easy, son,” I intoned, obviously buying time. “Adversity builds character.”

“Right Hobbes,” the son mocked, rightfully.

Sensing he must seize the torch (well, the tie) and weave his own way, Corey tied, retied, tied and … until he turned his face skyward, punched the air and bellowed, “I freaking did it!” High-fives all around.

There was no great lesson for me—just reminders about being a father to my two boys. Be there, do my best to show them what to do, and then shut the hell up and let them do things for themselves.

The most important piece in all that? Être là. Really be there. If we can do that as fathers, my sense is that the ties between fathers and sons—and daughters—will grow tighter and stronger.

Tim O'Connor

Tim O'Connor is a writer living in Rockwood, Ontario, Canada, with an interest in figuring out modern masculinity and sharpening his golf game. Tim is a member of The Mankind Project in Canada. Tim's biography of MKP co-founder Rich Tosi will be published in 2015. His latest golf book, The Single Plane Golf Swing: Play Better Golf the Moe Norman Way will be published in February 2015.

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So Far Within Reach – a Poem

Category: Poetry

by Jeffrey Bates

…a small boat sat on the rocks on the beach
as he approached it felt just out of his reach
the oars they lay inside half disclosed
the old man in his chair dreamed a dream as he dozed.

The stream from the mountain descended to the shore
Where the boat had been dreaming of the man it knew before
He approached and he saw the world without care,
As he breathed in the sun, felt the crisp morning air.

The old man, he shifted a bit in his chair
He'd thought that he saw someone standing there
“Get in!” he sighed, as he passed on the edge,
“The boat is ready and the shore's no hedge.”

He squirmed once more in his chair on the porch
The young man, he felt no flame, but a torch.
As he pushed the small boat from the rocks on the beach
What was once so far was now within reach.

February 9, 2014

Jeff Bates

Jeffrey Bates, the author and illustrator of The Little Bucket , earned his BA from Anderson College (University), in Anderson, Indiana in Religion and Sociology (1985) and Master of Divinity degree from Christian Theological Seminary, Indianapolis, Indiana (1990). He has worked with children and youth for most of his career while serving churches, both full and part time and as a volunteer, from 1986-1996 and 2011-2014. He completed the New Warrior Training Adventure in 1996.

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The Little Bucket – A Children's Book – the Answer is Inside

par Boysen Hodgson


New Warrior brother Jeffrey Bates (Bedford, Indiana 1996), has written a mythical children's story called The Little Bucket . With a poetic voice and unique illustrations The Little Bucket is a hero's journey that will enliven and stimulate the imagination. The book teaches about empathy, boundaries, how to understand bullying, reaching out for help, and also about what it's like to feel lonely and lost and not know what to do about it.

When I got the book from Jeff earlier this spring, I shared it with my foster daughters. They both enjoyed the story, and it opened a much bigger conversation about what it means to look inside when things are hard. In a culture without a lot of strong models for emotional intelligence or personal responsibility, this is a story that can open some doors. It challenges blame and shame patterns that can get embedded so quickly in a child's psyche. I have referred back to the messages of The Little Bucket when working with my daughters to remind them that the what's going on on the 'outside' is only a tiny part of the reality … the BIG stuff is on the inside.

The thematic illustrations are gentle and colorful. The poetry flows with each turn of the page as the story moves through loss and revelation of a mysterious answer to the problem.

A reviewer commented, “Jeff Bates' use of rhyme and imagination creates a story to help readers of all ages to look within themselves and live life to its fullest.” (Roxanne L. Pace, Library Media Specialist, Brevard County, Florida)

Jeff Bates says, “One of the things we lack in our approach to helping build character in our children and feeling self-confidence is a model . The Little Bucket fills this gap and provides an opportunity for deeper discussion about the things that matter most: feelings. Once we can enable the discussion of feelings, we can make great strides in helping our kids concentrate better and become strong from within.”

He continues, “We are all overwhelmed by the entertaining digital world which really distracts kids from the real learning they need to be doing. I'm just not talking about 'school learning', but learning about what's going on on the inside .”

Additionally, when kids experience social pressure to conform and to give in to others, and feel distracted or intimidated by it, they can lose track of themselves, have difficulty concentrating and then spend the rest of their lives trying to recover.

Bates states that he is interested in selling the book, not just for the books sake, but for what can happen when it's heard. The Little Bucket can help kids discover themselves on the inside and, according to Psychotherapist Larry Pesavento of Cincinnati, Ohio, discover that “happiness is an inside job.”

If you have little ones, or big ones, and you struggle with starting a conversation around feelings such as sadness, fear, anger or even joy with them, this book can be a helpful kick-starter.

The Little Bucket is available at Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com to order. Also visit The Little Bucket on Facebook and be sure to give him a “LIKE.” Jeff also has The Little Bucket presentation where he comes to your group/class/school to present the story, have a discusion and then sing The Ballad of The Little Bucket . You can visit the author's page at http://jeffreybates.net for more information.

Boysen Hodgson

Boysen Hodgson est le directeur des communications et du marketing pour l'Humanité projet États-Unis, un organisme de mentorat et de formation à but non lucratif qui offre des possibilités puissantes pour la croissance personnelle des hommes à tous les stades de la vie. Boysen a reçu son BA avec mention de l'Université du Massachusetts à Amherst, après avoir terminé deux années de conception de cours à l'Université Cornell. He has been helping companies and individuals design the change they wish to see in the world for 15 years. Il est un mari dévoué.

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Loving Through My Shadow – a poem

Category: Men and Shadow , Poetry

by Les Gaines

What is this shadow following me, damn?
Just a lie of what I truly am.
A mark from yesterday
when some guy said I wasn't good enough to play.

That old stain has been like a stone
locking away my heart in a catacomb.

How can I live?
How can I breath?
With this mirage of limitation blinding my destiny.

I pay the price to feel worthy.
But still it's clear that I'm not free.
No, just a proxy of what I should be,
offering a little taste of what I could be.

So what about a little authenticity,
If I drop my spear,
if I drop my shield
if stand before you with my shame revealed,
If I let my mind settle in this space,
and show the of years of fears etched on my face,
then can I stay?
Can I stay and love you through my shadows anyway.

That shadow has a bind on me,
nothing I can do sometimes but say I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for my mother.
I'm sorry for my father.
I'm sorry for that freak down the street.
And that' they all called a geek.
I'm sorry for my big head.
I'm sorry for my fears.
I'm sorry that I bite back hard,
when I fell attacked, and I'm not clear.

But, if I say I'm sorry for being me,
can I stay and love you through my shadows anyway.

I know that …
kings have other mansion
and, boys other toys.
Lovers have other passions
and, warriors other ploys.
But a man has only one heart to feel.
And, if he's lucky he'll hold onto one friend that's real.
So, I will stay, I'll stay and love you through my shadows anyway.

Les Gaines

After gaining victory over disabling PTSD, Les Gaines returns to his mission as a healer, coach, speaker, and advocate for disabled survivors of childhood trauma. He is a certified metaphysical healer, and an avid student of Judeo/Christian mysticism, and shamanism. Les hopes to share his journey of healing and empowerment through his love of poetry, art, and music. Les completed the New Warrior Training Adventure in August 2012, and is a grateful member of the BWOE igroup in MD.

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I know trauma – a poem

Category: Men and Shadow , Poetry

by Les Gaines

As if asleep in a sea of denial, loathing my own shadow,
my faithful friend with me along so many miles.
I know the crippling fear of stepping beyond the front door;
that hope for a better life was best left ignored.

I know trauma.

I know the doubt that comes
when everybody wrong seems right,
and everything right seems wrong;
when every arm but mine looks strong.

I know the helplessness of trying to feel like something,
while my brain is screaming that I'm nothing.

I know trauma.

The intrusion of phantom hands, sounds, and scents
that cross the gap of time making danger feel so imminent.
Flashbacks they're called,
by those who walk with memory intact.
I know just how long that panic can last.

But, I also know the power of Goodness and Life
that shields a soldier in the most vicious of fights.
I know the strength of hands, ready to survive.

You see,
I know how to thrive.
How to search the infinite resources of mind,
to unlock the chains of shame restoring innocence,
I thought left behind.

I know the power of the yearning for freedom
that made me stand from my crawl, and
throw away that doormat that read, “free-for-all.”

This is my Life!
And it's time I change
the rules of that old abusive game
to restore each fragment of my Self to its rightful place.

I'll say who I am,
Love, Life, and Freedom.
I am Choice. I am Real.
I am here … with the courage to heal.

Les Gaines

After gaining victory over disabling PTSD, Les Gaines returns to his mission as a healer, coach, speaker, and advocate for disabled survivors of childhood trauma. He is a certified metaphysical healer, and an avid student of Judeo/Christian mysticism, and shamanism. Les hopes to share his journey of healing and empowerment through his love of poetry, art, and music. Les completed the New Warrior Training Adventure in August 2012, and is a grateful member of the BWOE igroup in MD.

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WOUNDED LEADERS: A Book Review

Category: Reviews

GUEST POST by Peter Clothier

Wounded Leaders: British Elitism and the Entitlement Illusion, ” by Nick Duffell.

First, don't assume from this book's subtitle that is irrelevant to us here in America, or to our leadership. It is of vital relevance, no matter the specificity of his target. Nick Duffell's title will have resonance for anyone who has lived through the past couple of decades in America and watched our own wounded leaders in action–or, more correctly, inaction. That said–and we'll come back to this–his central argument is that the boarding-school educated governing elite in Britain are themselves unconsciously governed by the lasting wounds incurred by the experience of being sent away from the family at an early age, and placed in a militaristic environment in which they learn to protect themselves from a hostile outer world.

I can speak to this. I am what Duffell aptly refers to as a Boarding School Survivor. As a practicing psychotherapist, he has a long-standing practice designed to bring such people back from their emotional disorientation and isolation. I could have used his services, long ago, but had to discover my own path through this maze. I was sent away to school at the age of seven, and by the time I escaped to freedom at the age of eighteen, I had received a remarkable head-oriented education but remained what I often describe as an emotional cripple. I had learned the costly and dangerous art of evasion and emotional invulnerability. As a seven- or eight-year old, I could not afford to do anything but suppress the feelings that would open me up to attack from my fellow-boarders: fear, anger, sadness, grief, the terrible pain of being separated from parents who assured me that they loved me—even though it was hard to understand the paradox of being loved and yet exiled from the family, the locus of that love.

The result of my excellent education was that I never grew up. Rather, it took me another three decades before I realized there was something wrong with living like a turtle in a shell. Boarding School Survivors, as Duffell describes them, are stunted individuals so caught up in their heads that they remain disconnected from their hearts. I simplify his profoundly well-informed and subtle arguments, whose bottom line is that Britain's ruling elite, boarding-school and Oxbridge-educated, are supremely unqualified to lead in our twenty-first century world because they get so intently focused on their distorted, rational vision of national and global issues that they remain impervious (invulnerable) to the bigger picture of human needs. They are unable to listen, to empathize with others than themselves and their own kind. They are guided by the certainty of their own sense of rectitude. To doubt, to question, to have a change of heart is to be vulnerable, and vulnerability is the last thing in the world they can allow themselves. (Duffell's final chapter, on doubt, is particularly eloquent and on-target.)

I am admittedly unqualified to evaluate the more technical aspects of Duffell's argument. To this reader, he seems impressively knowledgeable and up-to-date with the latest discoveries of neuroscience and academic psychology. He draws on a broad understanding of the philosophical development of rationalism and its critics, the countervailing social movements of repression and rebellion, and contextualizes his argument in that historical perspective. In our contemporary times, his exemplars are primarily the likes of former Prime Minister Tony Blair, England's current Prime Minister David Cameron, and London Mayor Boris Johnson, whose attitudes and actions are profoundly—and in Duffell's view—mistakenly reactionary. As he sees it, they bully and bluster their way past opposition into futile military actions and social programs that enrich the already privileged and wealthy and contribute to the continuing impoverishment of the needy. No wonder the England he describes is an angry country.

Late in the book, Duffell expands his vision of an entitled elite to include brief reference to American leaders—in particular, of course, George W. Bush, whose blind and reckless pursuit of a delusory obsession rushed us headlong into the war with Iraq. The disastrous results are with us today, in the form of a Middle East in unending turmoil. Looking at America today—a nation of people surely as angry as the British—I'd argue that what Duffell calls the Entitlement Illusion is by no means limited to British elitism. Our leaders must also be counted amongst the wounded. Our leadership is dominated by the squabbling of little boys who have never grown beyond the need to protect themselves and their own territory from those who do not agree with them. Our political problems are the same as those Duffell describes in his country: militarism, misguided and prejudicial rationalism, a lack of empathy for the poor and underprivileged, an assumption of rectitude that rejects other views without a hearing, an angry rejection of doubt or reappraisal of previously held views.

Entitlement, I'd argue, is not the exclusive property of the British elite. I myself believe it's also, more broadly, a factor of historical male privilege, the patriarchal tradition. There is a persistent myth in our culture that sees men as rational beings, in control of events, capable, practical, while women are (still, in the eyes of too many of us men) perceived as irrational, guided by emotion rather than reason, and therefore less competent in leadership positions. Duffell argues passionately for a middle path, one that minimizes neither reason nor emotion, but balances the intelligence quotient with the emotional quotient, the head with the heart, reason with compassion and empathy. I agree with him, that unless we as a species can find that balance, we are in for dangerous times ahead. His book is a timely and important reminder of the need to “change our minds” in a fundamental way, and open ourselves to the powerful–and practical–wisdom of the heart. I sincerely hope that the book will find readers beyond the native country of which he writes. Its insights are profoundly needed everywhere, throughout the globe.

Watch for Peter Clothier's forthcoming novel about masculine sexuality, “The Pilgrim's Staff” (an old euphemism for the penis.) It's told by two narrators, a contemporary figure painter and and 18th century English gentleman. Frank sex scenes and potboiler excitement! Peter is a 1994 NWTA initiate, a one-time active Ritual Elder, and a well-known art writer. His latest book, “Slow Looking: The Art of Looking at Art,” explores the values of contemplation and meditation. Feel free to write him at peter clothier@mac.com .

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A Circle of Men

by Les Gaines

I sit in a circle with Men
who are ready to go within,
whose eyes blaze like diamonds in disguise
and whose bodies are poised with determination.

Unwilling to compromise,
and using clever minds as a honing device,
the brothers listen in.
For groans and moans of shadows and doubts
that utter, “I am less than.”

In this circle of men,
we find traces of hopes we've seen before,
hidden behind childhood doors
arousing pain we must explore.

And in that journey we find our life's mission
to be who we are, without seeking permission.
To do what good men have always done,
be willing to be “the One.”

In this circle of men,
a warrior rises to the occasion,
to see the world he made
and claim his power to change it.

Here hands beat upon drums,
And, masculine roars form our songs,
calling the four directions, the sky and the earth
and upon ancestor's shoulders we take up our work.

In this circle of men,
there is power to turn ore to steel,
to dissolve every illusions that prevents
living a life that is real.

In this circle of men,
there is truth in projections
and healing when a man encounters his own golden reflections.

Les Gaines

After gaining victory over disabling PTSD, Les Gaines returns to his mission as a healer, coach, speaker, and advocate for disabled survivors of childhood trauma. He is a certified metaphysical healer, and an avid student of Judeo/Christian mysticism, and shamanism. Les hopes to share his journey of healing and empowerment through his love of poetry, art, and music. Les completed the New Warrior Training Adventure in August 2012, and is a grateful member of the BWOE igroup in MD.

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The Rising of Basic Goodness — Embodiment in a Global Society

Category: Poetry

by Two Crows Calling

First we took a hard look at our ego self
Speaking our feelings of what we wanted in love, work and a peaceful world
Discovering in our dyads and in our meditation that what
we yearned for was so often in breakdown,
“stalled”, not happening.

We saw our own self sabotage, living in illusion, deceit,
blaming others, caught in subtle consumer and family
dramas. Our list of counterfeit, cocoon traits hit home
as endlessly discouraging. For us, “looking good”so often
won out over just being Goodness.

Sitting, we connected deeply with our own “messiness”
We had placed our cart before the Wind horse of our Life.
We were not living from Buddha's last words
“Be a Lamp unto Yourself”

What good fortune the dharma overcame our doubt, fear and
timidity. We were rescued by energies far more powerful
and vast than the dominant culture's repetitive story lines.

Our practice sharpened our will and expanded our hearts.
Our teachers inspired us –breathing truth and love into us.

One day, you finally said a full and deep “YES”
You whispered into your own heart. “OK. I'm tired of being
sick and tired of all my half- hearted measures.”

You told your mind and heart. “I am ready to take it all on”.

I am ready to take the pain and heartache of society into my
own tender, vast and spacious Heart.

And you stepped forward to the front of history's grand stage
You realized the poet Rilke was right after all:

“Whatever the question, Love is the Answer.”

Starvation spreads in Africa and the Middle East while grain rots
in our Midwestern grain storage reserves. More love needed. The 37,000
infant and child deaths every day from polluted water. More of my love needed.

The seemingly endless deaths of mothers and young children in Syria.
More love needed. Clean water for the children? More love from me.
Breaking the horror of human trafficking and slavery?
More love from me.

We leaned into the Wind. Into the Storm. Into the Darkness
of our present Age. We rejoiced in the advancement of Goodness.

We found the dharma was our Shield,our Sword. Our Light.
We felt in our bones “This is my moment.This is our moment.”

And so with each breath, we opened wide our hearts to the pain
and suffering of this world.

Over time our field of action expanded more and more. Sacred warriors
of basic goodness appeared at our side. We became a Oneness.

Together my sisters and brothers
We go forth across this vast world
fertile seeds in the Wind
Making Enlightened Society Possible.
Shambhala! Shambhala!

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The Butterfly King – Edmond Manning on Writing and Daring

Category: Memoir , Men and Sex , Reviews

by Edmond Manning

By what right does a white man tell the story of a black man? Describe that man's struggles, the lifelong challenges he faces, the hardships of living in a white-centric culture?

I have asked myself this question many times.

In September, the third book in my 'Lost and Found Kings' series, The Butterfly King was published. The premise is the same in each book: a gay, Midwestern car mechanic invites another man to spend the weekend together. He promises “…if you submit in every single way, I will help you remember your kingship. I will help you remember the man you were always meant to be.”

Sound familiar?

It's a bastardization of the NWTA weekend. Well, kinda. There are absolutely no affiliations or mentions of MKP in the novel. There is not a fictional organization cleverly renamed “LKP.” Nope. No crossover activities. Rien. The car mechanic narrator relies on Joseph Campbell and the masculine archetypes to create experiences that help each man discover his unique giftedness. Combined with fairy tale storytelling, emotional manipulation, and a healthy scoop of man-on-man sex, these books have attracted attention for their innovative look at the masculine psyche and the possibility that all men are kings.

I've delighted in writing about different types of men. My tall tales celebrate the power of men, the beauty of men, which includes their woes: the lifelong consequences on a man whose father died young (the first book, King Perry), an angry man who feels betrayed by love and how shitty his life turned out (the second book, King Mai), and the most recent book, my third, deals with a black man in New York city who sacrificed his own future to care for his family.

The Butterfly King.

But by what right does a white man tell a black man's story?

No right.

I find myself in a curious and difficult position. I want to write about interesting people and fascinating lives. It's what writers do, I guess. But how dare a pasty-white, middle-class man attempt to get inside the head of a man of color? I can't possibly know the circumstances of prejudice he experienced growing up and throughout adulthood. It's very possible my attempts to portray empathy come across as condescending, ill-informed, and patronizing. I worry about this. It keeps me awake at night.

A curious parallel exists in my fiction genre.

Right now, most of the books written about the men-loving-men are written by heterosexual women. Je ne plaisante pas. They compose the lion's share of the market of both writers and readers. Some have adopted a man's name for better acceptance or to hide their identities, afraid of the backlash. Most are open and proud of their writing prowess. In fact, gay men now find it difficult to publish their stories—honest-to-gayness-men-loving-men stories—because women so dominate this field and their preferences have become industry traditions. Gay men must conform to these industry standards to get published or be marginalized.

Huh.

The debate comes up three times a year or more in the blogosphere. By what right do women step in and tell gay men's stories? By what right? They don't experience gay bashing, homophobic slurs, and hell, they don't even have the right junk.

And yet, they write. They dare.

Les raisons me fascinent. Ils se sentent appelés. Parce que les histoires sont à propos de l'amour. Parce qu'il est plus intéressant que d'écrire au sujet de leurs monde connu, les relations hommes-femmes. Certaines de ces femmes ont des enfants gais, des amis gais, garagistes homosexuels et ils veulent rendre le monde plus sûr, plus tolérant. Quelles que soient leurs raisons, ils osent.

J'aime ça. Ils osent.

Ne nous osons aussi?

Comme les hommes dans MKP, osons-nous ne pas aimer les hommes sont différents de nous? Ne nous sortons nos peaux confortables pour aimer les hommes d'âges différents, de couleurs différentes? Ne met pas les républicains démocrates parfois berceau comme ils pleurent sur les mariages perdus? Avez-vous pas vu certains granola, leader hippie amour d'une jeune entreprise fonceur, faire tout ce qu'il faut pour honorer la royauté de cet homme? Je sais que vous avez.

Je l'ai vu aussi.

Nous ne nous ingérons pas dans la vie de chacun, car il est de notre droit de le faire. Nous le faisons parce que nous osons à aimer les uns les autres comme des hommes, comme des frères.

Je l'ai étudié à fond ce livre. Je l'ai lu décalage migrations ethniques et de New York des années 1950 jusqu'aux années 2000. Je lis des livres sur la race. Je lis des articles sur des auteurs blancs qui tentent d'écrire des caractères noirs. Je lis des blogs sur les points aveugles dans la culture dominante et comment il apparaît dans insidieuses, des moyens d'exclusion. Je suis content d'avoir fait cette recherche, mais rien de tout cela me donne le droit d'écrire.

Mais je ose.

Je vous écris au sujet des hommes de couleur parce que je l'ai aimé les hommes de couleur. Je l'ai pleuré dans leurs bras et ils dans la mienne. Nous avons dit à nos histoires tristes et ressenti de l'autre la guérison masculin. Le week-end du personnel, nous avons essuyé la sueur et des larmes de l'autre, et je suis retourné sur le tapis pour ne pas rafraîchi, certainement plus robuste. Plus prêt à supporter la prochaine histoire douloureuse.

Nous célébrons l'autre en racontant ces histoires, des histoires qui ne sont pas toujours les nôtres à raconter.

Je me souviens d'une nuit il ya longtemps quand mon I-groupe a décidé de mon travail que la nuit était de partager mon histoire sortant. Je haussai les épaules. Bien que je l'avais été se plaindre des brouilles pour la vie qu'elle a causés, je sentais qu'il était pas vraiment pertinent. Arrivé il ya plus de deux décennies. Comme je l'ai dit à l'expérience dire à mes parents que je suis gay, deux des hommes hétéros dans mon groupe pleuré. Un autre homme a dit: «Écoutez-moi répéter cela pour vous."

Quand je entendu ma propre histoire venant de sa bouche, je me pleuré parce que l'-surprise histoire, surprise- était triste. Bien qu'il ait répété quelques détails tort, qu'il a entendu et honoré l'esprit du conte. Apparemment, je devais l'entendre de quelqu'un d'autre pour reconnaître la tristesse.
Quand je pense à ce dernier roman, je suis sûr que je merdé dans quelques endroits, parce que, comme la plupart d'entre nous, je baise parfois quand je suis tenté un gros projet. Voilà une histoire à propos de moi. Voici une autre histoire que je appris en travaillant avec MKP: Je suis aussi glorieuse, ridiculement audacieuse et effervescente Je rayonne, amour mousseux de mes doigts quand je tape fiction. Je dois le pouvoir de révéler comment magnifique, comment les hommes peuvent être belles.

Je nous célébrer.

Et donc, je ose.

Papillon roi

Edmond Manning est l'auteur d'une série, The Lost and Founds. Les trois premiers livres de cette série comprennent Roi Perry, roi Mai (un finaliste Lambda Literary 2014), et plus récemment, The Butterfly King. Sentez-vous libre de dire bonjour à remembertheking@comcast.net .

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Travailler sur mon «être» Liste

par Stephen Simmer - Coordonnateur MKP USA Mission Cercle

Je ne lis pas les e-mails, je les scanne. L'idée de ralentir et de rester pleinement présent avec une pensée est très difficile, très étranger à moi. Si vous êtes comme moi, vous remarquerez peut-être une voix persistante, dès maintenant, de vous dire de se dépêcher à travers cet email, pour saisir le point qui fait Simmer, dépôt dans le sens-banque pour une éventuelle utilisation future, et passer à la prochaine email en attente dans la boîte de réception. Si vous êtes comme moi, maintenant que vous dites à vous-même, "je l'ai eu» et la course de haies sur des phrases et des phrases pour obtenir au paragraphe suivant pour voir si il ya plus que vous devez saisir. Si vous êtes comme moi, vous ne lisez pas, vous pillez de sens nécessaire que si vous êtes le pillage d'un magasin pour un couple de choses de valeur.

Je suis aussi conscient que je suis comme ça avec de nombreuses parties de ma vie je me soucie supposément environ. Je l'écoute avec une demi-oreille à mes enfants, je écouter ma femme avec impatience, espérant qu'elle va arriver au point afin que je puisse passer, je me dépêche sur la route avec mes chiens pour obtenir le pied sur le chemin aussi vite que Je ne peux donc je peux obtenir sur d'autres tâches que je peux aussi dépêcher à travers.

Quand je pense à travailler davantage sur la mission, il ya une voix en moi qui dit catégoriquement: «Je ne ai pas le temps d'en faire plus." Le tapis roulant est trop rapide déjà. Je dois travailler, saccager la poubelle, traîner les climatiseurs de retour au garage, commander la pierre pour le patio, ramasser la prescription. Mission? Peut-être que je peux programmer un monde transformation mardi entre le match de foot de mon fils et griller les burgers. Si je ne peux pas en sandwich là-dedans, je vais arriver à la prochaine vie, ou celle d'après. Ma mission devient progressivement mon o-mission, ce que je laisse de côté.

Ceci est tout faux. On m'a appris sur mon entraînement il ya de nombreuses années que l'énoncé de mission a eu une vision et une action. Une action: je l'ai vu comme une autre tâche sur mon interminable liste de choses à faire. Mais que faire si la mission est pas un travail? Que faire si il est vraiment une présence? Que faire si il est un défi de faire moins, avec une magnificence? Que faire si cela signifie ralentir, engageant à être pleinement présent dans ce ordinaire, le moment splendide? Que faire si la mission signifie que je me engage à être un être humain soit-ing plutôt qu'un faire-ing humain? Que faire si affairisme est un symptôme de l'évasion de ce qui compte vraiment?

Les athlètes parlent de moments particuliers quand le jeu se ralentit, et peut-être la mission est vraiment sur un engagement à la vie ralentir afin que les moments deviennent mémorable. Ce sont les moments de flux que Mihaly Csikszentmihaly identifié. Ce moment précieux avec mon fils hors de l'école quand il prend tranquillement ma main que nous marchons. Cette rencontre avec le greffier CVS. Cette promenade avec mon chien sous la pluie, nous deux de mourir, lui probablement un peu d'avance sur moi, ouvrant la voie. Je amerrissage forcé ma liste de choses à faire et à partir d'une liste à-être. Et ce qui est étonnant pour moi est qu'il n'y a qu'une seule chose sur la liste: pour répondre à la porte et accueillent le visiteur qui attend.

Stephen Simmer

Steve Simmer, for those of us privileged to know him, lives his life in the midst of the constant stream and theme of mission. Appropriately enough, one of his formal mission statements is that he “creates a world of freedom by encouraging men with my courage to do all that they can be and to be all that they can do.” By profession a psychotherapist, he works continuously to inspire men to actively find and engage in their own mission in this world. Dr. Simmer completed the New Warrior Training Adventure back in 2001, and has never been the same man since.
To learn more about Steve and his work you can visit his website

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My Poem 310: Meeting Wisdom

My Poem 310: Meeting Wisdom

The shaman knows those noises…
They sometimes disturb the hunt…they
are sometimes the result of the hunt…
You see, the shaman has kept
to his roots, not like the shamans
reed flute, having been cut from
its root, its soundings are the
lamentations of the broken hearted
which the shaman knows but he
Also knows of the healed heart…
knows the Icy grags and shadowed
vales…becoming knowing of the songs…
Of the void between notes, between
the lyrics, between the breath taken
in and the breath expelled… There
he finds the knowing of Wisdom…
There, he meets Her…Mother Sophia

---

Addenda i54: Oscar Wilde said,

“Ah! Don't say you agree with me. Quand
people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong.”

Do our poems have
to please everyone?
Do we have
a responsibility to be provocative?

Oui! MEN!
We Have That Responsibility!

Bien sûr! We have that responsibility!
Wilde said that! Wilde lived that!
Our 'modern' circumstances demand that …
How could we not … but to invite another Hitler …

Gaia, Mother Earth is demanding that!
Creating storm after massive storm
beyond our experience …

I am demanding that! … of
my Brothers & my Sisters!

The call has been made! It is international!
grass rooted, calling but walked upon …
springing back up into the calling air …
but CALLING again … every society … every Heart
The Mother and mothers everywhere are calling …
Fathers drop war from your consciousness.
It has no future … It begets no future …

But … ITSELF!
And an Earthen hell is the result …
Over and over … again and again …

MEN! What more proof need be portrayed than that goriest
Glorious 20th Century …???

MEN…WHO ARE WE THAT WE CAN”T SEE
IN ALL THIS LIGHT???!!!

Wali Qutbuddin Loren Ruh Smith
August 6, 2014

Qutbuddin Loren Ruh Smith: I'm 75 years old, born in Tacoma, WA and went to high school in Arcata, CA. Je servi dans l'armée américaine, a rencontré ma première femme et a eu notre premier fils en France. I started writing poetry in my first college English class in 1961. I've published a book called The Path to The Beloved and I have several books ready to publish. I lived in the Sierras in Grass Valley for 30 years before moving to Albuquerque, NM, in 2012. My book about fathers and sons called This Child and His Tree will be going to the publishers shortly.

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BOYHOOD: Not Exactly a Film Review

GUEST POST: by Peter Clothier

Originally published at the Buddha Diaries

(for Luka, a bit later in his life)

I woke this morning thinking about Barack Obama, and how perfectly he fits the model of manhood proposed by Rudyard Kipling in his unjustly maligned and frequently parodied poem “If.” In case you don't remember it, here's how it starts out:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise…

Doesn't that sound like Obama?

First, though, Boyhood, which provoked these thoughts. We finally got to see this beautiful and profoundly moving film last night. I loved the twelve-year journey of these skillful and committed actors, playing out the emotional development of fictional characters engaged in a fictional narrative as they themselves physically aged. I loved the “truth” of the story itself, of a family struggling with the realities of life—the failed and failing marriages, the financial woes, the abuse of alcohol and drugs, sibling love and feuding, school and the relationships with classmates, the pain of the teenage years, and so on. All along, start to finish, the story had the convincing “feel” of life as most of us experience it.

And the film is true to its title. It is about boyhood. Even at the end, the young boy, Mason, whose life we have been following from elementary school to college has not yet emerged fully into manhood. The last shot shows him, literally high in the beautiful natural surroundings of the mountains, and high on the mushroom fed him by his brand new college roommate. With a lovely young woman at his side—they sit still shyly side by side and not in some false, premature embrace—he gazes out in ecstasy into the landscape as though into a future filled with allure. But it is abundantly clear that he is still a boy. Boyhood still glows in his face; he's all promise, no completion.

Which should not surprise us. He had no models of real manhood as he was growing up. Mason's biological father is a charming rogue in his early years, unable to accept the responsibilities of marriage, job, and family. The subsequent relationships his mother forms are with men whose manhood is as questionable as his father's: a smooth academic whose insecurities lead him to drunken tyranny; a former military man whose immaturity is revealed in his insensitivity and inflexibility. With one notable exception—a photography teacher who attempts to move our Mason beyond his obstinate, lethargic adolescence—the strong, mature figures who surround the growing boy are women. The men are simply grown-up little boys.

Which leads me to reflect, beyond the parameters of the movie, upon this question: what are the qualities of manhood? We find what I think of as a real man all too infrequently in our contemporary world. We are surrounded everywhere by ungrown men: the drunks, the abusers, the workaholics; priests and teachers who take advantage of their positions of trust and exploit the vulnerabilities of children; lovers who take what they need and reject responsibility; politicians who lack the spine to govern and capitulate too easily to those who would manipulate them; gun-toting idiots who insist so stridently on their “rights” and are quick to spurn the rights of others; sports heroes pumped up with illicit drugs and phony testosterone; spoiled cultural idols, many of them scarcely more than teenagers.

Too often, the models of manhood we are offered are characterized by a false notion of strength. To return to the President and his current predicament, surrounded as he is by well-meaning progressives to the left and fanatics blinded by their own rectitude on the right, all nipping at his heels and demanding displays of strength. They fail to understand that the qualities of true strength are not intellectual inflexibility and rash, foolhardy action (the former President and his enablers come inevitably to mind) but the maturity to step back and take the longer view, the wisdom to listen and, when necessary, to change. Even to bend. That too is strength. They have not learned the ancient lesson of the oak tree and the reed .

The qualities of manhood, in my view, are these: integrity, a sense of mission, a devotion to service. We know how to teach these qualities. We do it with our military men in boot camp (women, too, these days, of course, but I'm concerned here with men.) While I'm not a fan of militarism in any form, I'll concede that in most cases even this crass form of initiation can produce admirable men—men who have not only strength and skills, but a sense of purpose greater than themselves. Our armed forces are worthy of the respect that they receive. What turns boys to men is this kind of ritualized initiation—a process that's significantly lacking in the development of the youngster who's portrayed in “Boyhood,” as it is to the majority of us today. Of myself, if I'm to be honest, I must acknowledge that I reached some measure of manhood only in my fifties. For genuine initiation in our culture we have substituted such tepid rituals as Christian confirmations and bar mitvahs.

They don't do the trick. In traditional cultures, the transition was a far more dangerous journey, involving genuine threat to life and limb as boys were sent out into wilderness or jungle to temper the vulnerability and fearfulness of boyhood into the steel they would need to function as a man. We in the modern Western world have no wild animals to deal with, unless we count those within. We forget that these are powerful enough to rule our lives if we don't learn to acknowledge and confront them. The early myth of initiation for us is the ordeal of the knight apprentice, who rides out into the forest to test his mettle against the dark knight—or the dragon—and returns prepared to serve his queen.

What is integrity? In simple terms, it is the fortitude to say fearlessly exactly what I mean, and do exactly what I say. Which implies, of course, a clear vision about who I am and what I am given to do. If I'm in doubt or confusion, I lack resolve. I dither. The answer lies not in denying doubt and confusion—they are a part of being human. No one escapes them. In denying them I risk precipitous and futile action, when what I need first is to consult the inner wisdom that I've wrestled with myself to find, and rediscover the clarity before I act. A man of integrity is a man who “has his act together,” in the sense that his actions are in full congruence with his words. He has “integrated” the four mainstays of his being: mind and body, feeling and spirit, and they are properly in balance. Action that is not backed by all four of these in unison–action that lacks thought, or heart, or energy, or purpose–is as ineffectual as the failure to act at all.

Inseparable from a man's integrity, then, is the understanding that he has left behind the innocence of boyhood, along with the freedom that accompanied it. He lives in a world of accountability to others and acknowledges his duty (yes, sorry, a quaint, old-fashioned concept!) to serve others than himself. Sadly, it's true that most of us fail to live up to this ideal. We look around us, searching vainly for the most part for our Mahatma Gandhis, our Nelson Mandelas, our Martin Luther Kings—men who were certainly not lacking in the failings that made them human, but who managed to be magnificently greater than their weaknesses, and of spectacular, historical service to their fellow human beings.

We cannot all be men like these, but we can be men. Without the challenge of traditional initiation rites, we are required to find, or invent, our own journey from boyhood into manhood. It is no easy task to face the darkness and the inner demons that, without our awareness, can control our destinies. All of us need some form of support as we make that journey: a church, perhaps, a spiritual guide, a trained therapist… And the journey, for most of us, is never ending. Who can sit back on his laurels and say with certainty: I have reached the fullness of my manhood? Even in, at best, my last quarter here among the living, I still struggle with my own.

So we leave our young protagonist, in “Boyhood,” with the journey into manhood still ahead of him. He may already have been initiated into sex and drugs, into the drudgery of work and now, finally, the college dormitory, but none of these has opened the door to the real, deep, inner work he will have to do if he is to become the man he needs to be if he is to fulfill his life's destiny. And that is yet to come…

Watch for Peter Clothier's forthcoming novel about masculine sexuality, “The Pilgrim's Staff” (an old euphemism for the penis.) It's told by two narrators, a contemporary figure painter and and 18th century English gentleman. Frank sex scenes and potboiler excitement! Peter is a 1994 NWTA initiate, a one-time active Ritual Elder, and a well-known art writer. His latest book, “Slow Looking: The Art of Looking at Art,” explores the values of contemplation and meditation. Feel free to write him at peter clothier@mac.com .

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The Transformational Power of Daily Rituals

By Gonzalo Salinas

According to Charles Duhigg author of The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business , approximately 40% of what we do every day, we do unconsciously. We have formed a habit that we tend to repeat every day, and it's making our choices for us.

So, think about all the things you do every day. Some of them probably don't serve your highest purpose but still, you repeat them religiously … even knowing specific behaviors are putting you away of the reality you want to live. Duhigg explains that every time you repeat those habits your brain reinforces them … so it craves, later on, this repetition. Even if is not beneficial, you get a neuro-chemical reward in your brain that not only will create some sort of addiction but also reinforces the identity you have created for yourself.

I have tried many times to change bad habits and create new ones. With a sincere heart I must confess that I have failed more times than I have succeeded. But I noticed something happened every time I was succeeding; the positive new habits were daily rituals.

Oui. I do have rituals. Ritual – “a series of actions or type of behavior regularly and invariably followed by someone.” I repeat certain rituals every day, and believe me dear reader of the MKP Journal, to repeat an action every day, is not an easy task, especially when I am trying to create a new self.

Let me share some daily rituals hoping that this will inspire action to enhance lives.

I do my rituals first thing in the morning: I wake up and I go for a run. The running part is simple. I already told myself that as soon as I hear the alarm I must jump out of the bed. At the beginning it was hard, now is automatic. My recommendation is to avoid dealing with ANY logistics – so your sportswear must be ready next to the bed from the previous night.

rising-sun

A second ritual is: I carry in my wallet one handwritten page. One side of the page is divided in two: on the left side I have a few statements: my flaws or weaknesses to become aware of what I want to change, and on the right side my good qualities and virtues to remind myself the tools I have for my own growth. Deliberately this second list is bigger than the first one. On the other side of the paper I've written a brief composition about who I want to be. I've included goals and projects and a description of how I see myself in the next three years.

I read this paper three times a day. As soon as I wake up, at lunch time, and before I go to sleep. It takes me two minutes each reading. When I read it I focus on staying present: just reading.

Third: In the morning I also do a brief visualization … right before I come back from running I stop and I visualize: It takes me three to five minutes. I visualize the same three goals I have written on the paper I carry on my wallet.

Finally, is my gratitude time. On a notebook I got specifically for gratitude, right before I go to sleep, I write three things that I'm grateful for that day. It doesn't matter if it's as simple as “the kid I saw having some ice cream at Lincoln road in South Beach.” If I feel like writing it, I write it. Then I say a brief prayer, and I go to sleep.

These four rituals have changed my life   dramatically in the last two years. Have I been 100% consistent with them?… absolutely not. I used to give to myself a guilt trip, this usually led me to abandon my regular practice for a while. If for some reason I miss my rituals now, instead of the self punishment, I just carry on.

C'est tout. Just a couple of thing before I finish: You may notice that my rituals are very simple; they are simple because when I create a complex plan, I find I'm planning to fail. Start small and keep going; it is a great exercise of self love.

And lastly, be creative with your rituals! Some people create a vision boards with images, others do mantras or incantations, others meditate or do breathing exercises. The rituals become habits because of repetition, and the daily practice causes transformation.

I've got more from my 2 years of rituals than from my entire previous life without them. Use them and then you tell me!

Gonzalo photo

Gonzalo Salinas is an Assistant Editor for the ManKind Project Journal, a publication of the ManKind Project, a nonprofit mentoring and training organization offering powerful opportunities for men's personal growth at any stage of life. Salinas studied Literature in Lima, Peru at San Marcos University, and has been living in the United States since 2003. He lives in Miami, FL. Salinas is committed to his own personal development, and to spreading the word about the vision and mission of the Mankind Project .

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Your Distraction Vortex – Purpose Block #3

by Chris Kyle

If you missed the special Live Q&A call on April 15 for the Man on Purpose Course and want to listen to the audio, go to the Man on Purpose Course web site to listen.

Over the last week, I've shared with you the first two core Purpose Blocks which are:

Purpose Block #1 = the Fear Triad
Purpose Block #2 = the Doubting Voice

Now it's time to explore the third of the 3 Purpose Blocks. Purpose Block #3 is the Distraction Vortex .

In our modern, media-saturated and technology-driven culture we have a never-ending list of things we can do in our daily lives to keep us busy and our schedules extremely full.

The daily choices are mind-boggling … TV shows, books, internet surfing, sports, phone calls, porn, email, movies, hobbies — and on and on and on. And all of this is in addition to our daily work (that hopefully pays the bills).

All these possible activities make up the Distraction Vortex: a swirling pool of constant and seemingly endless things TO DO … that can suck up all of our precious time.

None of these activities, in and of themselves, are inherently “good” or “bad.” However, if we are spending much of our time in the Distraction Vortex — there is a good chance that we are also distracting ourselves from what we might want most in our lives: deeper connection, greater joy, more meaning, and a clearer sense of purpose.

And because the journey into these states can be more subtle and unclear, it's frankly easier and likely more soothing to numb-out or check-out with a juicy distraction like a TV show, a series of YouTube videos, or a trashy novel.

The challenge and question is, “How do I consciously navigate this Distraction Vortex, so it doesn't suck up all of my time — and instead frees up my time for focusing on living more fully into my purpose?”

Here are three steps you can take to help set you free from the Distraction Vortex.

1. Slow Down and Observe Your Activity
The first step is to use whatever stillness practice you have, like meditation or mindfulness, to slow yourself down each day (and if you don't have one, then start one), and begin to observe what pulls your attention toward what you would consider unhealthy distractions.

Then take on a one week “distraction awareness practice” by tracking where you are spending your time in the activities that you consider distractions. This brings to conscious awareness what activities YOU use as distractions to not face something else in your life.

2. Notice What You're Avoiding
The second step is to notice what you may be avoiding in your life that the distractions helps you not have to face. It is typically something you don't want to look at, and which makes you uncomfortable… something that you struggle with in your life.

Being more conscious of the activity, feeling or the energy that you're avoiding helps to burst the bubble on your distraction patterns. Now you have the awareness to make a new choice about whether to engage the specific distractions or not.

3. Recommit with Support
As you see more clearly how your particular distractions don't serve you, you can now recommit yourself to the actions and activities that truly support and serve you — your own growth and your purpose.

By declaring your commitment to the activities that feed your passions and purpose to another person close to you helps you stay accountable to not slipping back into the unhealthy distractions. This support is key to breaking out of the Distraction Vortex.

In the Man on Purpose Course, starting tomorrow (April 17, 2014), we spend two of the 7 weeks on looking at the patterns and habits that take us out of the fuller expression of our authentic power, creativity and purpose. This helps clear the way to bringing more energy and power to our purpose.

To your distraction-free purpose,
Chris

PS The Man on Purpose Course starts tomorrow, April 17th, and there's still time to register and lock in your seat in the course. Go here to register for the course. One man who took the course last year said:

“The course opened me up to the desire and passion to start living as a man who lives to be more of service in all aspects of life. Not “what is my purpose?” but rather how to LIVE with purpose!” — Edward Werger

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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Curious about Why you are Here? Special Q&A Call!

Special Q&A Call Tonight & Important Announcement

We've received a lot of great questions over the last week around the topic of purpose and wanting to know more about our upcoming course — Man On Purpose: The Essential 7-Week Online Course for Men which starts on April 17th.

As I mentioned in my last post, George Daranyi and I will be hosting a special interactive Q&A call tonight – Tuesday April 15th. We will be answering some of the most frequently asked questions about the course, and also about how you can access your hidden power to activate your passions and purpose in the world.

If you have any lingering questions about the course, please join this special Q&A call TONIGHT, MARCH 15TH at 5:30 pm Pacific Time to get the answers you need.

===========================================

Here's how to access the Q&A Session with George and me:

TONIGHT at 5:30 pm Pacific / 8:30 pm Eastern / 12:30 am+1 UTC

To listen by webcast online, go to:

http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventid=54169320

To listen by phone dial:
Number: (425) 440-5100
Access code: 405934#

============================================

A number of men who have experienced the work with us were eager to share how it had improved and changed their lives:

“They showed me how I had been asleep for most of my life, and how I needed to “awaken” and take charge of my life, to take responsibility and be accountable for my actions. In the program, I received the tools to get back into integrity with my family, my friends, and mainly with myself… I learned that it in order to make a difference in this world, to live into my purpose, I first had to change myself.” — Joe A.

“Chris' approach helped me to see where I'm not showing up fully in my life and the shadows that were holding me back. His intuition and awareness guided me to confront these shadows and helped me stay present, even when it was uncomfortable. With Chris's help, I found my growing edge and learned how to take what I experienced in the sessions into my professional and social life, my intimate relations and most of all, my inner journey. By experiencing this place of “deep knowingness”, purpose and fierce love, I experienced the essence of my true nature.” — Tim C.

I also wanted to let you know that our 3-payment option ends this Friday. So if you're planning to register for the course and would benefit from the option of spreading the payments over three months, be sure to register by tomorrow to take advantage of this opportunity.

To learn more and register visit the course information page.

To living your purpose,
Chris Kyle & George Daranyi

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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