What Are You Waiting For?
by Geoff Laughton
One of the most common things I hear from clients is along the lines of “When I [fill in the blank], I’ll be able to/will do [fill in the blank].” That may be talking to their spouse/partner about something that has been bothering them for years, and keeping them in a constant state of withheld intimacy. It may be finally going for the dream career that they’ve pined for for years. Maybe it’s to actually start doing the self-care regimen that has been put off for years. Whatever it is, I’m sure you can easily pinpoint what it is you keep putting off for whenever the moon and stars are perfectly aligned for, before you’ll allow yourself to take the leap into some desire.
The one exception to this seems to be when we feel like we have no other choice (or, in fact, we don’t). When given what seems to be no other viable option – usually after being hit with the proverbial “Cosmic Two-by-Four” like a requested divorce, loss of a loved one, loss of a job, or any other pretty lethal disappointment/life-changer – we will finally confront one of the (if not only) forms of true freedom we really have: the freedom to make our own choices.
Yet, we avoid this in so many ways, both subtle and blatant. We do this, in one way or another, as we watch so much drama, change, and devastation happening on the planet, with people & families, and with our pictures of what we thought life would/could be like. Relationships are prime ground for this to happen in on a daily basis. When I work with people on their relationship, there is often a seemingly endless succession of opportunities for intimacy, expansion, healing, and relief that will get postponed for various reasons which, to the person telling them to me, all seem perfectly reasonable! Unfortunately, for so many of us, we’ve settled for those perfectly reasonable justifications for not going for what we are really wanting, or sharing what we are truly feeling, for weeks, months, or years…and, the whole time, wondering why we’re not happier!
This has me asking myself (you bet I’m doing it, too), my friends, and my clients a question that seems to me to be one of the most critical and profound questions any of us should be asking ourselves and anyone we care about: “WHAT ARE YOU (WHAT AM I) WAITING FOR?” (In moments of heightened passion for this question, it may be shortened to “WTF are you waiting for?”)
When I was at David Neagle’s Breaking Free Live Event , in April of 2011, he showed a film called I Am Alive: Surviving The Andes Plane Crash. It is a documentary, done by the History Channel, on the 1972 plane crash where 42 soccer players found their plane crashing in the Andes in the dead of winter, and how the survivors dealt with the choices of what it would take to be able to survive. There were two men who decided to risk being able to reach help, rather than just sit and wait in the fuselage of the plane for the certain death that was going to be unavoidable.
One of the most stunning questions that emerged for me from watching this film was what would it take in my life, for me to choose to take the risks of climbing out to seek a chance of life (which, in their case, meant walking across Andes summits without the benefit of today’s modern extreme weather gear) versus the certainty of death were I to do nothing but wait to die. As it happens, I’ve actually already faced that choice on numerous occasions in my life. Because you’re the one reading this right now, I put the question to you!
What are you willing to let yourself die to in your internal set of pictures about who you are, and what you’re capable of, in order to have the chance to LIVE? The men who got help in 1972 were willing to risk death to be able to live, and help their comrades live. In your relationships, be it with your love partner, your children, your best friends; what are you willing to die for to be able to know you’re truly living to your (and that particular relationship’s) fullest potential and passionate longings? What gifts does your relationship have to offer to others besides the two of you that aren’t getting to be given, because you are hanging out in the fuselage waiting for some miracle?
To not even ask that question – much less have the courage I know it takes to really listen to the answer from your heart and Spirit, rather than your ego – seems to me a death sentence of a different sort. In light, again, of all the MASSIVE unrest and shifting that’s happening all around us, and scaring the living doo-doo out of so many people, there is no other question…seems to me, anyway…that may be more important right now. Our children…our grandchildren…the generations coming after us…are all waiting for us to ask not only that question, but also:
What am I waiting for?
In case you need some supporting arguments for why this is so critical, besides my opinions, and/or what it might take, go and watch
I Am Alive for yourself, and (this is just as important) watch the documentary called I Am This is one of the most important films I’ve ever seen.
Whatever your heart, your Spirit, guide you to do…my challenge to myself, and to you, is to – at the very least – pick one thing to stop waiting for…and, if you can’t seem to get there, remember you don’t have to do it by yourself (hell, I don’t even think we can do it by ourselves).
I would really love to hear what comes up for you about this topic and article. If you would be willing to share, and would want it to be anonymous, please email me at laughtoncoach@gmail.com. If you’re willing to have your experiences be of more immediate use and support for others trying to figure all this stuff out too, I invite you to post a comment or a note, to my Living Your Spirit Now Facebook fan page (click here: geoff’s fan page).
So what are you waiting for?
Geoff helps couples get the relationship back with each other that they’ve been dreaming of instead of continuing to live the one they’ve been settling for.
Geoff is a Master Relationships Recovery Coach who has spent the last 15 years guiding individuals and couples worldwide in re-energizing and re-inventing their relationships – with themselves and others – before they get irreparably damaged. This, combined with his 29 years as a loving husband and father, has provided Geoff with the real-life experience needed to guide others in rescuing and renewing the relationships into which so much time, love, and energy have been invested – and need not be wasted.
– is a deeply personal issue that everyone decides for himself. Sometimes the price is high, sometimes low. But this is not very important for life. Life is an interesting thing. And the price on Viagra – too.
