What it means to Sacrifice
by Larry Cotton, ManKind Project New England and Jericho Circle
On September 23rd we learned that a Jericho Circle Intensive Weekend could not occur due to a water main break at MCI-Norfolk. Jericho Circle is a not for profit organization that supports men’s circles in several Massachusetts prisons and conducts weekend intensives to help men behind bars find dignity, personal responsibility and connection. Jericho Circles are staffed by ManKind Project men. Learn more at: http://jerichocircle.org/inside/
Sacrifice
Brothers, today this word took on new meaning for me. Here is one dictionary definition:
“Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.”
On receiving the phone call informing me that our weekend intensive would not happen I went immediately into warrior mode: making phone calls to staff; cancelling hotel reservations and food orders, etc. etc.
Then the reality began to sink in, the sadness I felt – for all of us on both sides of the wall. Sadness for the loss of connections that would not be made and the loss of healing that would not take place.
As word spread and we started to make alternate plans for the weekend; the stories of you magnificent men surfaced: Men with sick and dying loved ones; men with family members needing them at home, but who had been willing to watch their loved ones go off to be of service to others; a father rushing to be with his daughter at the hospital; men traveling great distances….the list goes on.
Did any of you speak of these things as the weekend approached? Perhaps you might have, had our staff meeting occurred. Perhaps not.
Sacrifice: “Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.”
Men in our circles often acknowledge the sacrifices they see that we make to be with them.
And I always play down such praise – because I don’t want to feel like I am somehow a “do-gooder” or “better than”; because I don’t want the praise. My message is “oh no, it’s not a sacrifice at all, its just what I do.”
Screw that!
From now on, my response is “You’re damned right I’ve sacrificed things and other people to be here! – Because for the time that we are together I consider you to have a greater value or claim than anything else in my life.”
- Because I look in your faces and see my own…
- Because I look in your eyes and see your humanity…and I see my own reflected back at me…
- Because, but for different combinations of luck and privilege, our roles could easily be reversed…
- Because I judge that between where you have been and where you are now, you have likely achieved a powerful healing….and I need a piece of that.
- Because we are brothers.
To my brothers on the outside – thank you for the sacrifices you make to participate in Jericho Circle. The statement you make is powerful beyond words.
To my brothers on the inside – thank you for the sacrifices you make to participate in Jericho Circle. The statement you make is also powerful beyond words.
– is a deeply personal issue that everyone decides for himself. Sometimes the price is high, sometimes low. But this is not very important for life. Life is an interesting thing. And the price on Viagra – too.
