The Sacred Intimate: a new way of thinking about facilitating men
by Tim Neill
I would like to bring in not new words to some, but which may be new in the context of an NWTA, they are Sacred Intimate.
While those two words could have different meaning to some men, I would ask all of us to consider for a moment the Sacredness of Intimacy….and how Sacred it is, to be standing with a man as he fights his demons by coming to an NWTA.
How Intimate it is, to bear witness to the depth of whatever his work might be.
As a Sacred Intimate I have an awesome responsibility to both hold Sacred Space for and with a man all the while sharing Intimacy as he does his work. All the tools, props that have been mentioned here pale in comparison to the ability to BE with a man during this time.
One of the hardest things I’ve seen for many staff and leaders, myself included, is to just shut the fuck up, listen to and be with the man. His soul knows what has to happen…your mind just thinks you know.
If you don’t get what Sacred Intimate means, some real world examples –
When you’ve held your child in their deepest pain or fear, you’ve been a Sacred Intimate.
If you’ve ever supported a loved one during death or grave illness, you’ve been a Sacred Intimate.
If you’ve held someone fighting addiction, you’ve been a Sacred Intimate.
To carry what I judge as one of the greatest honors in this lifetime, holding the space for another human being to get closer to their soul, carries a huge responsibility. You think you are just staffing a weekend, doing a GUTS process, leading a carpet.
I believe some of you know, you are so much more. I want you all to know, you are both so much more and doing so much more.
So on the next weekend you staff or lead, allow yourself to touch the tenderness of your soul.
Allow yourself you be a Sacred Intimate for those initiates and not just a man on staff, not just a mere facilitator of a process. It is not about props or knowing the best process in the history of MKP or thinking you know a damn thing about what that man needs, that’s all about you…
It is ALL about the Sacredness of Intimacy in that moment. What you rely on becomes your crutch. One day you might not have that crutch and another’s life may depend on you.
The old standard was the terms were facilitator, staff man. The new standard could be – Sacred Intimate.
Try it on and see if there is a difference in your mindset.
– is a deeply personal issue that everyone decides for himself. Sometimes the price is high, sometimes low. But this is not very important for life. Life is an interesting thing. And the price on Viagra – too.
