The eulogy for my father: It’s easy to praise famous men
by Lex Woodbury
Knowing he was in his last days, my Dad – who never once acknowledged anything good about me on his own, given that I was failure in fulfilling his fantasy of corporate success – hobbled across the living room and told me, “Son, you’re a writer. I want you to write my eulogy.”
I agreed, partly because as the eldest son, his eulogy was my job, partly because I felt suddenly flattered and affirmed, like maybe he did have a clue about me after all. Maybe he even liked me or respected me, even though he had never said it straight out.
His request hurt, too, in its own way, just as much as his request filled up that wounded place inside me and made things somehow better.
I faced a tough job, writing a eulogy for such a man.
I started by journaling. First, out came the anger for all the ways I felt he had failed me. Next came the glossy, greeting card stuff about all the sacrifices he had made for my education, for I was the first person ever in our family to go to college.
Then came the mirror. Maybe I never told my father that I liked him! Maybe my fantasies around his competence in emotional literacy were just as dehumanizing to him as his dreams for my competence in business were to me!
Sometime in this healthy void, I came upon the apocryphal scripture passage, Sirach 44:1-15, often known by its first line, “Let Us Now Praise Famous Men.”
Looking carefully at these words for the first time, I began to get a handle on what it might be saying to me, at that time. So I translated it into my own terms, and the reworked passage became the eulogy I delivered for my Dad. I offer it now to men of all places and stations.
It’s easy to praise famous men,
The heroes in their generations.
The Creator appointed them to great glory.
There were kings, who got famous for their victories in battle;
Cabinet members and consultants, who made good calls.
There were those who made predictions based on culture and trends,
And gurus who spoke with insight and enlightenment.
There were musicians and writers, rich men in big houses.
All these were honored in their own time,
And they were famous.What about the little men,
Of whom there is no notice?
They have perished as if they never existed;
And their children with them.
But they were Godly men, whose wealth remains with us,
Because what they did was teach their children The Ways.
And their children are teaching us today.The Children of The Ways will go on forever;
They will never be blotted out.
Their course is done,
But their victory lives on, generation after generation.
That’s why the Assembly declares their wisdom,
And the Congregation sings their praise.
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Original text from the Apocrypha: Sirach 44:1-15
1 Let us now praise famous men, and our fathers that begat us.
2 The Lord hath wrought great glory by them through his great power from the beginning.
3 Such as did bear rule in their kingdoms, men renowned for their power, giving counsel by their understanding, and declaring prophecies:
4 Leaders of the people by their counsels, and by their knowledge of learning meet for the people, wise and eloquent are their instructions:
5 Such as found out musical tunes, and recited verses in writing:
6 Rich men furnished with ability, living peaceably in their habitations:
7 All these were honoured in their generations, and were the glory of their times.
8 There be of them, that have left a name behind them, that their praises might be reported.
9 And some there be, which have no memorial; who are perished, as though they had never been; and are become as though they had never been born; and their children after them.
10 But these were merciful men, whose righteousness hath not been forgotten.
11 With their seed shall continually remain a good inheritance, and their children are within the covenant.
12 Their seed standeth fast, and their children for their sakes.
13 Their seed shall remain for ever, and their glory shall not be blotted out.
14 Their bodies are buried in peace; but their name liveth for evermore.
15 The people will tell of their wisdom, and the congregation will shew forth their praise.
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Lex Woodbury has written columns for the Los Angeles Times, Orange County religion page. He, teaches philosophy, ethics, and world religion in Sioux City, Iowa. He recently finished a manuscript describing the Jungian ups and downs of the journey into fatherhood. |
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