Into the wild
by Johnny Fontaine
During the waning days of summer last year, I was leaving my church’s social ministry office after a few hours of volunteer work. I stood by the front door, looking at the fingerprints smudged across the glass, distracted by the sounds of people talking throughout the lobby.
My eyes noticed a book on a giveaway table, the cover depicting a man running along a great ledge of rocks high on a mountaintop. I read its title. Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul.
Having surrendered my life to God three years earlier, I was surrounded by challenges and transitions unemployment, looming homelessness, financial chaos, and baby steps back into recovery. I carried the book home with me, half-amused, thinking, “Great, another book that’ll show me the man I have no hope of becoming.”
Less than twenty-four hours later, author John Eldredge turned my heart – and life – upside down in 220 pages. Christian or not, I was filled by his themes and observations. My thoughts raced like thoroughbreds. My heart pounded inside me like a symphony of drums, loud and tribal.
I felt great glory and fear at the truth staring back at me: I am a man, a man of God’s creation, and a man made with a purpose – for a purpose. I have battles to fight, adventures to live, and beauties to rescue. And all of it, seen through the eyes of God, is vital to becoming and being the authentic man only I can be.
After reading Wild at Heart (and, subsequently, all of Eldredge’s writings), I entered a year-long sojourn of self-discovery, radical amputation and reanimation of my views about who I am as a man. I experienced a revival in my spirit towards encouraging others toward discovering or recovering their true heart. This journey has called me into opportunities of leadership, mentorship, and a deeper walk with God.
I believe the book’s greatest impact on my life has been in my willingness to invite God and others into this great dance of change.
I spent years in transformative work (recovery circles, men’s work, therapy, etc.), and the impact of Eldredge’s book called me back to The ManKind Project after six years of running away from being in a circle of men.
As this journey of discovery continues, I find the secret of my soul is that I remain open, flexible, powerful, and humble as the man I’ve been created to be. That’s a gift worth opening every day – and sharing with others for the rest of a lifetime.
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Johnny Fontaine is a writer living in Louisville, KY. His short fiction has appeared in decomP, LEO, The Legendary, and Thieves Jargon. He is currently writing his first novel. He led a book study of Wild at Heart and attended the Wild at Heart Boot Camp this past year. |
– is a deeply personal issue that everyone decides for himself. Sometimes the price is high, sometimes low. But this is not very important for life. Life is an interesting thing. And the price on Viagra – too.
