Eu sei trauma - um poema

Categoria: Homens e Sombra , Poesia

por Les Gaines

Como se estivesse dormindo em um mar de negação, detestando minha própria sombra,
meu amigo fiel comigo ao longo de tantas milhas.
Eu sei que o medo paralisante de pisar fora da porta da frente;
que a esperança de uma vida melhor era melhor deixar ignorado.

Eu sei trauma.

Eu sei que a dúvida que vem
quando todo mundo errado parece certo,
e tudo certo parece errado;
quando cada braço, mas o meu parece forte.

Eu sei que o desamparo de tentar sentir como algo,
enquanto o meu cérebro está gritando que eu não sou nada.

Eu sei trauma.

A intrusão de fantasmas mãos, sons e aromas
que atravessar o fosso de tempo fazendo perigo sinto tão iminente.
Flashbacks são chamados,
por aqueles que andam com a memória intacta.
Eu sei exatamente quanto tempo que o pânico pode durar.

Mas, sei também o poder da bondade e da Vida
que protege um soldado na mais cruel de lutas.
Eu sei que a força das mãos, pronto para sobreviver.

Você vê,
Eu sei como prosperar.
Como pesquisar os recursos infinitos da mente,
para desbloquear as cadeias de vergonha restaurar inocência,
Eu pensei que deixou para trás.

Eu sei que o poder do desejo de liberdade
que me fez ficar do meu crawl, e
jogue fora essa capacho que dizia: "free-for-all".

Esta é a minha vida!
E é hora de modificação I
as regras desse jogo velho abusivo
para restaurar cada fragmento da minha auto para seu lugar de direito.

Eu vou dizer quem eu sou,
Amor, Vida e Liberdade.
Eu sou Choice. Eu sou real.
Eu estou aqui ... com a coragem de curar.

Les Gaines

Depois de ganhar a vitória sobre a desativação PTSD, Les Gaines retorna à sua missão como um curandeiro, treinador, palestrante e advogado para deficientes sobreviventes de traumas de infância. Ele é um curandeiro metafísico certificada, e um ávido estudante de judaico / misticismo cristão, e xamanismo. Les espera compartilhar sua jornada de cura e empoderamento através de seu amor da poesia, arte e música. Les concluído a formação de Aventura Nova Guerreiro em agosto de 2012, e é um membro grato da iGroup BWOE no MD.

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LÍDERES feridos: um Book Review

Categoria: Comentários

Visitante Mensagem por Peter Clothier

"Líderes feridos Britânica Elitismo ea ilusão Titularidade", de Nick Duffell.

Em primeiro lugar, não assumem de legenda deste livro que é irrelevante para nós aqui na América, ou para a nossa liderança. É de importância vital, não importa a especificidade de seu alvo. Título de Nick Duffell terá ressonância para qualquer um que viveu através da duas últimas décadas na América e assistiu nossos próprios líderes feridos na ação, ou, mais corretamente, a inação. Dito isto, e nós vamos voltar a este-seu argumento central é que o colégio interno de elite governante educado na Grã-Bretanha são, eles próprios, inconscientemente, regido pelas feridas duradouras incorridos pela experiência de ser enviado longe da família em uma idade adiantada, e colocado em um ambiente militarista em que eles aprendem a proteger-se de um mundo exterior hostil.

Eu posso falar para isso. Eu sou o que Duffell apropriadamente se refere como um sobrevivente Boarding School. Como psicoterapeuta praticante, ele tem uma prática de longa data projetado para trazer essas pessoas de volta de sua desorientação emocional e isolamento. Eu poderia ter usado seus serviços, há muito tempo, mas teve que descobrir meu próprio caminho através desse labirinto. Fui enviado para a escola na idade de sete, e pelo tempo que eu escapei para a liberdade com a idade de dezoito anos, eu tinha recebido uma educação orientada para a cabeça notável, mas manteve-se o que eu muitas vezes descrevem como um aleijado emocional. Eu tinha aprendido a arte caro e perigoso de evasão e invulnerabilidade emocional. Como um de sete ou oito anos de idade, eu não podia dar ao luxo de fazer qualquer coisa, mas suprimir os sentimentos que me abrem para atacar de meus companheiros de pensionistas: medo, raiva, tristeza, sofrimento, a terrível dor de ser separada dos pais que me garantiu que eles amavam-me embora fosse difícil de entender o paradoxo de ser amado e ainda exilado da família, o locus de que o amor.

O resultado da minha excelente educação foi que eu nunca cresceu. Em vez disso, ele me levou mais três décadas antes de eu percebi que havia algo errado com a vida como uma tartaruga em um shell. Embarque sobreviventes escola, como Duffell descreve-los, são raquíticas indivíduos tão presos em suas cabeças que eles permanecem desconectados de seus corações. Eu simplificar seus argumentos profundamente bem informados e sutis, cuja linha inferior é que a decisão elite da Grã-Bretanha, internato e Oxbridge-educados, são supremamente qualificado para liderar em nosso mundo do século XXI, porque eles ficam tão intensamente focados em seu distorcido, visão racional de questões nacionais e globais que permanecem impermeáveis ​​(invulnerável) para a foto maior das necessidades humanas. Eles são incapazes de ouvir, de sentir empatia com os outros do que a si mesmos e sua própria espécie. Eles são guiados pela certeza do seu próprio senso de retidão. A duvidar, a questão, para ter uma mudança de coração é ser vulnerável, e vulnerabilidade é a última coisa no mundo que pode permitir-se. (Capítulo final da Duffell, na dúvida, é particularmente eloquente e no alvo.)

Estou certo que não qualificado para avaliar os aspectos mais técnicos do argumento de Duffell. Para este leitor, ele parece impressionantemente bem preparada e up-to-date com as últimas descobertas da neurociência e da psicologia acadêmica. Ele baseia-se em uma ampla compreensão do desenvolvimento do racionalismo filosófico e seus críticos, os movimentos sociais de compensação de repressão e rebelião, e contextualiza sua argumentação nessa perspectiva histórica. Em nossos tempos contemporâneos, seus exemplares são principalmente os gostos do ex-primeiro-ministro Tony Blair, atual primeiro-ministro da Inglaterra, David Cameron, e prefeito de Londres, Boris Johnson, cujas atitudes e ações são profundamente e tendo em conta-engano de Duffell reacionário. Para ele, eles valentão e vociferar sua maneira passado a oposição em ações militares fúteis e programas sociais que enriquecem o já privilegiados e ricos e contribuir para o empobrecimento contínuo dos necessitados. Não admira que a Inglaterra, ele descreve é ​​um país com raiva.

No final do livro, Duffell expande sua visão de uma elite direito de incluir breve referência aos líderes americanos-em particular, naturalmente, George W. Bush, cuja busca cega e imprudente de uma obsessão delusory nós se precipitaram para a guerra com o Iraque. Os resultados desastrosos estão conosco hoje, sob a forma de um Oriente Médio em tumulto sem fim. Olhando para a América hoje, uma nação de pessoas certamente tão irritado como o britânico-eu argumentar que o que Duffell chama a ilusão Titularidade não é de forma limitada a elitismo britânico. Nossos líderes também deve ser contado entre os feridos. Nossa liderança é dominada pelo brigas de meninos que nunca têm crescido além da necessidade de proteger a si e seu próprio território daqueles que não concordam com eles. Nossos problemas políticos são os mesmos que os Duffell descreve em seu país: o militarismo, o racionalismo equivocada e preconceituosa, uma falta de empatia para com os pobres e desfavorecidos, uma suposição de retidão que rejeita outros pontos de vista, sem uma audiência, uma rejeição com raiva de dúvida ou reavaliação de vistas anteriormente realizada.

Titularidade, eu diria, não é propriedade exclusiva da elite britânica. Eu mesmo acredito que é também, de forma mais ampla, um fator de privilégio histórico do sexo masculino, a tradição patriarcal. Há um mito persistente em nossa cultura que vê os homens como seres racionais, no controle dos eventos, capazes, práticos, enquanto as mulheres são (ainda, aos olhos de muitos de nós homens) percebidos como irracional, guiado pela emoção e não pela razão e, portanto, menos competente em posições de liderança. Duffell argumenta apaixonadamente por um caminho do meio, aquele que minimiza nem a razão nem emoção, mas equilibra o quociente de inteligência com o quociente emocional, a cabeça com o coração, a razão com compaixão e empatia. Eu concordo com ele, que a menos que nós, como uma espécie pode encontrar esse equilíbrio, nós estamos em tempos perigosos para a frente. Seu livro é um lembrete oportuno e importante da necessidade de "mudar nossas mentes" de uma maneira fundamental, e nos abrir para o poderoso e prático-sabedoria do coração. Espero sinceramente que o livro vai encontrar leitores para além do país de origem do que ele escreve. Suas idéias são profundamente necessários em toda parte, em todo o globo.

Preste atenção para próximo romance de Peter Clothier sobre a sexualidade masculina, "o cajado do peregrino" (um eufemismo velho para o pênis.) É dito por dois narradores, uma figura pintor contemporâneo e do século 18 e cavalheiro Inglês. Cenas de sexo Frank e potboiler emoção! Peter é um NWTA 1994 iniciar, um one-time Elder Ritual ativa, e um escritor de arte bem conhecido. Seu livro mais recente, "Slow Olhar: A arte de ver a arte", explora os valores da contemplação e meditação. Sinta-se livre para escrever-lhe em peter clothier@mac.com .

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A Circle of Men

por Les Gaines

Sento-me em um círculo com homens
que estão prontos para ir para dentro,
cujos olhos brilham como diamantes no disfarce
e cujos corpos estão preparados com determinação.

Dispostos a comprometer,
e usando mentes inteligentes como um dispositivo de afiação,
os irmãos ouvir.
Para gemidos e gemidos de sombras e dúvidas
que completa: "Eu sou menos do que."

Neste círculo de homens,
encontramos vestígios de esperança que já vimos antes,
escondido atrás de portas de infância
dor despertando devemos explorar.

E nessa jornada encontramos a missão da nossa vida
para ser quem somos, sem pedir permissão.
Para fazer o que bons homens sempre fizeram,
estar disposto a ser "o Único".

Neste círculo de homens,
um guerreiro sobe para a ocasião,
para ver o mundo que ele fez
e reivindicar o seu poder de mudá-lo.

Aqui as mãos da açoitarem tambores,
E, rugidos masculinos formar nossas músicas,
chamando as quatro direções, o céu ea terra
e sobre os ombros de antepassado assumimos o nosso trabalho.

Neste círculo de homens,
há poder para transformar minério de aço,
para dissolver cada ilusões que impede
viver uma vida que é real.

Neste círculo de homens,
há verdade nas projeções
e cura quando um homem encontra seus próprios reflexos dourados.

Les Gaines

Depois de ganhar a vitória sobre a desativação PTSD, Les Gaines retorna à sua missão como um curandeiro, treinador, palestrante e advogado para deficientes sobreviventes de traumas de infância. Ele é um curandeiro metafísico certificada, e um ávido estudante de judaico / misticismo cristão, e xamanismo. Les espera compartilhar sua jornada de cura e empoderamento através de seu amor da poesia, arte e música. Les concluído a formação de Aventura Nova Guerreiro em agosto de 2012, e é um membro grato da iGroup BWOE no MD.

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The Rising da bondade fundamental - Concretização em uma sociedade global

Categoria: Poesia

Dois corvos por Chamando

Primeiro, tomou um duro olhar para o nosso ego
Falando nossos sentimentos do que queríamos no amor, trabalho e um mundo pacífico
Descobrir em nossas duplas e em nossa meditação que o que
que ansiava era tão frequentemente em colapso,
"Parado", não acontecendo.

Vimos nossa própria auto-sabotagem, vivendo em ilusão, engano,
culpando os outros, preso em consumidor sutil e família
dramas. Nossa lista de contrafacção, traços casulo bater em casa
como infinitamente desencorajar. Para nós, "boa aparência" tantas vezes
ganhou ao longo de apenas sendo Bondade.

Sentado, nós conectado profundamente com o nosso próprio "confusão"
Nós tinha colocado o nosso carro antes do cavalo do vento de nossa vida.
Nós não estavam vivendo de últimas palavras de Buda
"Seja uma lâmpada até o senhor mesmo"

Que boa fortuna do dharma superou nossa dúvida, medo e
timidez. Fomos resgatados por energias mais poderosas
e vasto do que repetitivas linhas de história da cultura dominante.

Nossa prática afiada nossa vontade e expandimos nossos corações.
Nossos professores nos inspirou -breathing verdade e do amor em nós.

Um dia, você finalmente disse uma completa e profunda "SIM"
Você sussurrou em seu próprio coração. "OK. Estou cansado de ser
doente e cansado de todas as minhas medidas de coração meias. "

Você disse a sua mente e coração. "Estou pronto para levar tudo em".

Estou pronto para tirar a dor e sofrimento da sociedade em minha
próprio concurso, grande e espaçoso Coração.

E você deu um passo adiante para a frente da grande palco da história
Você percebeu o poeta Rilke estava certo, afinal:

"Seja qual for a pergunta, O amor é a resposta."

A fome se espalha na África e no Oriente Médio, enquanto apodrece grãos
de nossas reservas de armazenamento de grãos do Centro-Oeste. Mais amor necessário. A 37.000
mortes de bebês e crianças todos os dias a partir de água poluída. Mais do meu amor necessário.

As mortes aparentemente intermináveis ​​de mães e das crianças na Síria.
Mais amor necessário. Água limpa para as crianças? Mais amor de mim.
Quebrando o horror do tráfico humano e escravidão?
Mais amor de mim.

Nós se inclinou para o vento. Into the Storm. Into the Darkness
da nossa idade atual. Nos alegramos no avanço da Bondade.

Nós encontramos o dharma foi o nosso protetor, nosso Espada. Nossa Luz.
Nós nos sentimos em nossos ossos "Este é o meu moment.This é o nosso momento."

E assim, com cada respiração, que abriram o coração à dor
e sofrimento deste mundo.

Ao longo do tempo o nosso campo de ação ampliado cada vez mais. Guerreiros sagrados
da bondade fundamental apareceu ao nosso lado. Nós nos tornamos uma Unidade.

Junto minhas irmãs e irmãos
Nós vamos para frente através deste vasto mundo
sementes férteis do vento
Fazendo Enlightened Sociedade possível.
Shambhala! Shambhala!

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O Rei Butterfly - Edmond Manning na escrita e Daring

por Edmond Manning

Com que direito um homem branco contar a história de um homem negro? Descreva lutas daquele homem, os desafios que ele enfrenta ao longo da vida, as dificuldades de se viver em uma cultura branco-centric?

Eu me fiz esta pergunta muitas vezes.

Em setembro, o terceiro livro da minha série 'Kings Lost and Found', O Rei da borboleta foi publicado. A premissa é a mesma em cada livro: um gay, Midwestern mecânico de carro convida um outro homem para passar o fim de semana juntos. Ele promete "... se você enviar em todos os sentidos, eu vou ajudá-lo a se lembrar do seu reinado. Vou ajudá-lo a se lembrar do homem que você sempre foram feitos para ser. "

Soa familiar?

É um abastardamento do fim de semana NWTA. Bem, mais ou menos. Não há absolutamente nenhuma afiliação ou menções de MKP na novela. Não há uma organização fictícia inteligentemente renomeado "LKP." Não. Não há actividades de crossover. Nada. O narrador mecânico de carro depende de Joseph Campbell e os arquétipos masculinos para criar experiências que ajudem cada homem descobrir o seu talento único. Combinado com narração do conto de fadas, manipulação emocional, e uma colher saudável do sexo homem-a-homem, estes livros têm atraído a atenção por sua aparência inovadora na psique masculina ea possibilidade de que todos os homens são reis.

Tenho prazer em escrever sobre diferentes tipos de homens. Meus contos de altura celebrar o poder dos homens, a beleza de homens, que inclui seus problemas: as consequências ao longo da vida sobre um homem cujo pai morreu jovem (o primeiro livro, o rei Perry), um homem irritado que se sente traído por amor e como merda sua vida acabou (o segundo livro, o rei Mai), eo livro mais recente, o meu terceiro, lida com um homem negro na cidade de Nova York, que sacrificou seu próprio futuro para cuidar de sua família.

O rei da borboleta.

Mas com que direito é que um homem branco contar a história de um homem negro?

Nenhum direito.

Eu me encontro em uma posição curiosa e difícil. Eu quero escrever sobre as pessoas interessantes e vidas fascinantes. É o que os escritores fazem, eu acho. Mas como se atreve a, homem tentativa de classe média-pastosa branca para entrar na cabeça de um homem de cor? Eu não pode saber as circunstâncias do prejuízo que ele experimentou crescendo e toda a vida adulta. É muito possível minhas tentativas de retratar a empatia se deparar com tão condescendente, mal informados, e paternalista. Eu me preocupo com isso. Isso me mantém acordado à noite.

Existe um paralelo curioso no meu gênero ficção.

Agora, a maioria dos livros escritos sobre os homens-loving-homens são escritos por mulheres heterossexuais. Eu não estou brincando. Eles compõem a parte do leão do mercado de ambos os escritores e leitores. Alguns adotaram o nome de um homem para uma melhor aceitação ou para esconder suas identidades, com medo da reação. A maioria é aberto e orgulhoso de suas proezas escrito. Na verdade, os homens gays agora acham difícil publicar suas histórias de honesto-a-gayness-homens-amor-histórias homens-mulheres porque assim dominar este campo e as suas preferências tornaram-se as tradições da indústria. Gay men must conform to these industry standards to get published or be marginalized.

Huh.

The debate comes up three times a year or more in the blogosphere. By what right do women step in and tell gay men's stories? By what right? They don't experience gay bashing, homophobic slurs, and hell, they don't even have the right junk.

And yet, they write. They dare.

The reasons fascinate me. They feel called. Because the stories are about love. Because it's more interesting than writing about their known world, male-female relationships. Some of these women have gay kids, gay friends, gay garage mechanics and they want to make the world safer, more accepting. Whatever their reasons, they dare.

Eu adoro isso. They dare.

Don't we also dare?

As men in MKP, don't we dare to love men different from ourselves? Don't we step outside our comfortable skins to love men of different ages, of different colors? Don't Republicans sometimes cradle Democrats as they weep over lost marriages? Have you not seen some granola, hippie leader love a young corporate go-getter, doing whatever it takes to honoring that man's kingship? Eu sei que você tem.

I've seen it, too.

We do not interfere in each other's lives because it's our right to do so. We do it because we dare to love each other as men, as brothers.

I researched this book thoroughly. I read about shifting ethnic migrations to and from New York City from the 1950s through the 2000s. I read books about race. I read articles about white authors attempting to write black characters. I read blogs about blind-spots in dominant culture and how it shows up in insidious, exclusionary ways. I'm glad I did this research, but none of it gives me the right to write.

But I dare.

I write about men of color because I have loved men of color. I have wept in their arms and they in mine. We told our sad stories and felt each other's masculine healing. On staff weekends, we have wiped away each other's sweat and tears, and went back to the carpet if not refreshed, certainly more sturdy. More ready to bear the next sorrowful tale.

We celebrate each other by telling these stories, stories which are not always ours to tell.

I remember a night long ago when my I-group decided my work that night was to share my coming out story. Eu dei de ombros. Although I had been complaining of the lifelong estrangements it has caused, I felt it wasn't really relevant. Happened over two decades ago. As I told the experience telling my parents I was gay, two of the straight men in my group cried. Another man said, “Listen to me repeat this to you.”

When I heard my own story coming from his mouth, I cried myself because the story —surprise, surprise— was sad. Although he repeated a few details wrong, he heard and honored the spirit of the tale. Apparently I had to hear it from someone else to recognize the sadness.
When I think about this latest novel, I'm sure I fucked up in a few places because, like most of us, I sometimes fuck up when I'm attempting a big project. That is one story about me. Here is another story I learned by working with MKP: I am also glorious, ridiculously bold and I radiate effervescent, sparkling love from my fingertips when I type fiction. I have the power to reveal how gorgeous, how beautiful men can be.

I celebrate us.

And so, I dare.

Butterfly King

Edmond Manning is the author of a series, The Lost and Founds. The first three books in this series include King Perry, King Mai (a Lambda Literary finalist 2014), and most recently, The Butterfly King. Feel free to say hello at remembertheking@comcast.net .

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Working on My 'To Be' List

by Stephen Simmer – MKP USA Mission Circle Coordinator

I don't read emails, I scan them. The idea of slowing down and staying fully present with a thought is very difficult, very foreign to me. If you're like me, you might notice a persistent voice, right now, telling you to hurry through this email, to grab the point that Simmer is making, deposit into the meaning-bank for possible future use, and move onto the next email waiting in the inbox. If you're like me, right now you're saying to yourself, “I got it” and hurdling over phrases and sentences to get to the next paragraph to see if there's more you need to grab. If you're like me, you don't read, you plunder for necessary meaning as if you're looting a store for a couple of things of value.

I'm also aware that I'm that way with many parts of my life I supposedly care about. I listen with a half an ear to my kids, I listen to my wife impatiently, hoping she will get to the point so I can move on, I hurry down the road with my dogs to get the walk out of the way as fast as I can so I can get onto some other tasks that I can also hurry through.

When I think of working more on mission, there is a voice in me that says emphatically, “I don't have time to do any more.” The conveyer belt is too fast already. I need to work, sack the trash, lug the air conditioners back to the garage, order the stone for the patio, pick up the prescription. Mission? Maybe I can schedule some world-transformation Tuesday between my son's soccer game and grilling the burgers. If I can't sandwich it in there, I'll get to it next lifetime, or the one after that. My mission gradually becomes my o-mission, what I leave out.

Isto está tudo errado. I was taught on my training many years ago that a mission statement had a vision and an action. An action: I saw it as another task on my endless to-do list. But what if mission is not a job? What if it's really a presence? What if it's a challenge to do less, with magnificence? What if it means slowing down, committing to be fully present in this ordinary, splendid moment? What if mission means that I commit myself to be a human be-ing rather than a human do-ing? What if busy-ness is a symptom of evasion of what really matters?

Athletes talk of special times when the game slows down, and maybe mission is really about a commitment to slowing life down so that moments become momentous. These are the moments of Flow that Mihaly Csikszentmihaly identified. This precious moment with my son outside school when he quietly takes my hand as we walk. This encounter with the CVS clerk. This walk with my dog in the rain, both of us dying, him probably a few steps ahead of me, leading the way. I'm ditching my to-do list and starting a to-be list. And what is startling to me is that there is only one thing on the list: to answer the door and welcome the visitor who has been waiting.

Stephen Simmer

Steve Simmer, for those of us privileged to know him, lives his life in the midst of the constant stream and theme of mission. Appropriately enough, one of his formal mission statements is that he “creates a world of freedom by encouraging men with my courage to do all that they can be and to be all that they can do.” By profession a psychotherapist, he works continuously to inspire men to actively find and engage in their own mission in this world. Dr. Simmer completed the New Warrior Training Adventure back in 2001, and has never been the same man since.
To learn more about Steve and his work you can visit his website

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My Poem 310: Meeting Wisdom

My Poem 310: Meeting Wisdom

The shaman knows those noises…
They sometimes disturb the hunt…they
are sometimes the result of the hunt…
You see, the shaman has kept
to his roots, not like the shamans
reed flute, having been cut from
its root, its soundings are the
lamentations of the broken hearted
which the shaman knows but he
Also knows of the healed heart…
knows the Icy grags and shadowed
vales…becoming knowing of the songs…
Of the void between notes, between
the lyrics, between the breath taken
in and the breath expelled… There
he finds the knowing of Wisdom…
There, he meets Her…Mother Sophia

---

Addenda i54: Oscar Wilde said,

"Ah! Don't say you agree with me. Quando
people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong.”

Do our poems have
to please everyone?
Do we have
a responsibility to be provocative?

Sim! MEN!
We Have That Responsibility!

Claro! We have that responsibility!
Wilde said that! Wilde lived that!
Our 'modern' circumstances demand that …
How could we not … but to invite another Hitler …

Gaia, Mother Earth is demanding that!
Creating storm after massive storm
beyond our experience …

I am demanding that! … of
my Brothers & my Sisters!

The call has been made! It is international!
grass rooted, calling but walked upon …
springing back up into the calling air …
but CALLING again … every society … every Heart
The Mother and mothers everywhere are calling …
Fathers drop war from your consciousness.
It has no future … It begets no future …

But … ITSELF!
And an Earthen hell is the result …
Over and over … again and again …

MEN! What more proof need be portrayed than that goriest
Glorious 20th Century …???

MEN…WHO ARE WE THAT WE CAN”T SEE
IN ALL THIS LIGHT???!!!

Wali Qutbuddin Loren Ruh Smith
06 de agosto de 2014

Qutbuddin Loren Ruh Smith: I'm 75 years old, born in Tacoma, WA and went to high school in Arcata, CA. I served in the US Army, met my first wife and had our first son in France. I started writing poetry in my first college English class in 1961. I've published a book called The Path to The Beloved and I have several books ready to publish. I lived in the Sierras in Grass Valley for 30 years before moving to Albuquerque, NM, in 2012. My book about fathers and sons called This Child and His Tree will be going to the publishers shortly.

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BOYHOOD: Not Exactly a Film Review

GUEST POST: by Peter Clothier

Originally published at the Buddha Diaries

(for Luka, a bit later in his life)

I woke this morning thinking about Barack Obama, and how perfectly he fits the model of manhood proposed by Rudyard Kipling in his unjustly maligned and frequently parodied poem “If.” In case you don't remember it, here's how it starts out:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise…

Doesn't that sound like Obama?

First, though, Boyhood, which provoked these thoughts. We finally got to see this beautiful and profoundly moving film last night. I loved the twelve-year journey of these skillful and committed actors, playing out the emotional development of fictional characters engaged in a fictional narrative as they themselves physically aged. I loved the “truth” of the story itself, of a family struggling with the realities of life—the failed and failing marriages, the financial woes, the abuse of alcohol and drugs, sibling love and feuding, school and the relationships with classmates, the pain of the teenage years, and so on. All along, start to finish, the story had the convincing “feel” of life as most of us experience it.

And the film is true to its title. It is about boyhood. Even at the end, the young boy, Mason, whose life we have been following from elementary school to college has not yet emerged fully into manhood. The last shot shows him, literally high in the beautiful natural surroundings of the mountains, and high on the mushroom fed him by his brand new college roommate. With a lovely young woman at his side—they sit still shyly side by side and not in some false, premature embrace—he gazes out in ecstasy into the landscape as though into a future filled with allure. But it is abundantly clear that he is still a boy. Boyhood still glows in his face; he's all promise, no completion.

Which should not surprise us. He had no models of real manhood as he was growing up. Mason's biological father is a charming rogue in his early years, unable to accept the responsibilities of marriage, job, and family. The subsequent relationships his mother forms are with men whose manhood is as questionable as his father's: a smooth academic whose insecurities lead him to drunken tyranny; a former military man whose immaturity is revealed in his insensitivity and inflexibility. With one notable exception—a photography teacher who attempts to move our Mason beyond his obstinate, lethargic adolescence—the strong, mature figures who surround the growing boy are women. The men are simply grown-up little boys.

Which leads me to reflect, beyond the parameters of the movie, upon this question: what are the qualities of manhood? We find what I think of as a real man all too infrequently in our contemporary world. We are surrounded everywhere by ungrown men: the drunks, the abusers, the workaholics; priests and teachers who take advantage of their positions of trust and exploit the vulnerabilities of children; lovers who take what they need and reject responsibility; politicians who lack the spine to govern and capitulate too easily to those who would manipulate them; gun-toting idiots who insist so stridently on their “rights” and are quick to spurn the rights of others; sports heroes pumped up with illicit drugs and phony testosterone; spoiled cultural idols, many of them scarcely more than teenagers.

Too often, the models of manhood we are offered are characterized by a false notion of strength. To return to the President and his current predicament, surrounded as he is by well-meaning progressives to the left and fanatics blinded by their own rectitude on the right, all nipping at his heels and demanding displays of strength. They fail to understand that the qualities of true strength are not intellectual inflexibility and rash, foolhardy action (the former President and his enablers come inevitably to mind) but the maturity to step back and take the longer view, the wisdom to listen and, when necessary, to change. Even to bend. That too is strength. They have not learned the ancient lesson of the oak tree and the reed .

The qualities of manhood, in my view, are these: integrity, a sense of mission, a devotion to service. We know how to teach these qualities. We do it with our military men in boot camp (women, too, these days, of course, but I'm concerned here with men.) While I'm not a fan of militarism in any form, I'll concede that in most cases even this crass form of initiation can produce admirable men—men who have not only strength and skills, but a sense of purpose greater than themselves. Our armed forces are worthy of the respect that they receive. What turns boys to men is this kind of ritualized initiation—a process that's significantly lacking in the development of the youngster who's portrayed in “Boyhood,” as it is to the majority of us today. Of myself, if I'm to be honest, I must acknowledge that I reached some measure of manhood only in my fifties. For genuine initiation in our culture we have substituted such tepid rituals as Christian confirmations and bar mitvahs.

They don't do the trick. In traditional cultures, the transition was a far more dangerous journey, involving genuine threat to life and limb as boys were sent out into wilderness or jungle to temper the vulnerability and fearfulness of boyhood into the steel they would need to function as a man. We in the modern Western world have no wild animals to deal with, unless we count those within. We forget that these are powerful enough to rule our lives if we don't learn to acknowledge and confront them. The early myth of initiation for us is the ordeal of the knight apprentice, who rides out into the forest to test his mettle against the dark knight—or the dragon—and returns prepared to serve his queen.

What is integrity? In simple terms, it is the fortitude to say fearlessly exactly what I mean, and do exactly what I say. Which implies, of course, a clear vision about who I am and what I am given to do. If I'm in doubt or confusion, I lack resolve. I dither. The answer lies not in denying doubt and confusion—they are a part of being human. No one escapes them. In denying them I risk precipitous and futile action, when what I need first is to consult the inner wisdom that I've wrestled with myself to find, and rediscover the clarity before I act. A man of integrity is a man who “has his act together,” in the sense that his actions are in full congruence with his words. He has “integrated” the four mainstays of his being: mind and body, feeling and spirit, and they are properly in balance. Action that is not backed by all four of these in unison–action that lacks thought, or heart, or energy, or purpose–is as ineffectual as the failure to act at all.

Inseparable from a man's integrity, then, is the understanding that he has left behind the innocence of boyhood, along with the freedom that accompanied it. He lives in a world of accountability to others and acknowledges his duty (yes, sorry, a quaint, old-fashioned concept!) to serve others than himself. Sadly, it's true that most of us fail to live up to this ideal. We look around us, searching vainly for the most part for our Mahatma Gandhis, our Nelson Mandelas, our Martin Luther Kings—men who were certainly not lacking in the failings that made them human, but who managed to be magnificently greater than their weaknesses, and of spectacular, historical service to their fellow human beings.

We cannot all be men like these, but we can be men. Without the challenge of traditional initiation rites, we are required to find, or invent, our own journey from boyhood into manhood. It is no easy task to face the darkness and the inner demons that, without our awareness, can control our destinies. All of us need some form of support as we make that journey: a church, perhaps, a spiritual guide, a trained therapist… And the journey, for most of us, is never ending. Who can sit back on his laurels and say with certainty: I have reached the fullness of my manhood? Even in, at best, my last quarter here among the living, I still struggle with my own.

So we leave our young protagonist, in “Boyhood,” with the journey into manhood still ahead of him. He may already have been initiated into sex and drugs, into the drudgery of work and now, finally, the college dormitory, but none of these has opened the door to the real, deep, inner work he will have to do if he is to become the man he needs to be if he is to fulfill his life's destiny. And that is yet to come…

Watch for Peter Clothier's forthcoming novel about masculine sexuality, “The Pilgrim's Staff” (an old euphemism for the penis.) It's told by two narrators, a contemporary figure painter and and 18th century English gentleman. Frank sex scenes and potboiler excitement! Peter is a 1994 NWTA initiate, a one-time active Ritual Elder, and a well-known art writer. His latest book, “Slow Looking: The Art of Looking at Art,” explores the values of contemplation and meditation. Feel free to write him at peter clothier@mac.com .

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The Transformational Power of Daily Rituals

By Gonzalo Salinas

According to Charles Duhigg author of The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business , approximately 40% of what we do every day, we do unconsciously. We have formed a habit that we tend to repeat every day, and it's making our choices for us.

So, think about all the things you do every day. Some of them probably don't serve your highest purpose but still, you repeat them religiously … even knowing specific behaviors are putting you away of the reality you want to live. Duhigg explains that every time you repeat those habits your brain reinforces them … so it craves, later on, this repetition. Even if is not beneficial, you get a neuro-chemical reward in your brain that not only will create some sort of addiction but also reinforces the identity you have created for yourself.

I have tried many times to change bad habits and create new ones. With a sincere heart I must confess that I have failed more times than I have succeeded. But I noticed something happened every time I was succeeding; the positive new habits were daily rituals.

Sim. I do have rituals. Ritual – “a series of actions or type of behavior regularly and invariably followed by someone.” I repeat certain rituals every day, and believe me dear reader of the MKP Journal, to repeat an action every day, is not an easy task, especially when I am trying to create a new self.

Let me share some daily rituals hoping that this will inspire action to enhance lives.

I do my rituals first thing in the morning: I wake up and I go for a run. The running part is simple. I already told myself that as soon as I hear the alarm I must jump out of the bed. At the beginning it was hard, now is automatic. My recommendation is to avoid dealing with ANY logistics – so your sportswear must be ready next to the bed from the previous night.

rising-sun

A second ritual is: I carry in my wallet one handwritten page. One side of the page is divided in two: on the left side I have a few statements: my flaws or weaknesses to become aware of what I want to change, and on the right side my good qualities and virtues to remind myself the tools I have for my own growth. Deliberately this second list is bigger than the first one. On the other side of the paper I've written a brief composition about who I want to be. I've included goals and projects and a description of how I see myself in the next three years.

I read this paper three times a day. As soon as I wake up, at lunch time, and before I go to sleep. It takes me two minutes each reading. When I read it I focus on staying present: just reading.

Third: In the morning I also do a brief visualization … right before I come back from running I stop and I visualize: It takes me three to five minutes. I visualize the same three goals I have written on the paper I carry on my wallet.

Finally, is my gratitude time. On a notebook I got specifically for gratitude, right before I go to sleep, I write three things that I'm grateful for that day. It doesn't matter if it's as simple as “the kid I saw having some ice cream at Lincoln road in South Beach.” If I feel like writing it, I write it. Then I say a brief prayer, and I go to sleep.

These four rituals have changed my life   dramatically in the last two years. Have I been 100% consistent with them?… absolutely not. I used to give to myself a guilt trip, this usually led me to abandon my regular practice for a while. If for some reason I miss my rituals now, instead of the self punishment, I just carry on.

É isso aí. Just a couple of thing before I finish: You may notice that my rituals are very simple; they are simple because when I create a complex plan, I find I'm planning to fail. Start small and keep going; it is a great exercise of self love.

And lastly, be creative with your rituals! Some people create a vision boards with images, others do mantras or incantations, others meditate or do breathing exercises. The rituals become habits because of repetition, and the daily practice causes transformation.

I've got more from my 2 years of rituals than from my entire previous life without them. Use them and then you tell me!

Gonzalo photo

Gonzalo Salinas is an Assistant Editor for the ManKind Project Journal, a publication of the ManKind Project, a nonprofit mentoring and training organization offering powerful opportunities for men's personal growth at any stage of life. Salinas studied Literature in Lima, Peru at San Marcos University, and has been living in the United States since 2003. He lives in Miami, FL. Salinas is committed to his own personal development, and to spreading the word about the vision and mission of the Mankind Project .

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Your Distraction Vortex – Purpose Block #3

by Chris Kyle

If you missed the special Live Q&A call on April 15 for the Man on Purpose Course and want to listen to the audio, go to the Man on Purpose Course web site to listen.

Over the last week, I've shared with you the first two core Purpose Blocks which are:

Purpose Block #1 = the Fear Triad
Purpose Block #2 = the Doubting Voice

Now it's time to explore the third of the 3 Purpose Blocks. Purpose Block #3 is the Distraction Vortex .

In our modern, media-saturated and technology-driven culture we have a never-ending list of things we can do in our daily lives to keep us busy and our schedules extremely full.

The daily choices are mind-boggling … TV shows, books, internet surfing, sports, phone calls, porn, email, movies, hobbies — and on and on and on. And all of this is in addition to our daily work (that hopefully pays the bills).

All these possible activities make up the Distraction Vortex: a swirling pool of constant and seemingly endless things TO DO … that can suck up all of our precious time.

None of these activities, in and of themselves, are inherently “good” or “bad.” However, if we are spending much of our time in the Distraction Vortex — there is a good chance that we are also distracting ourselves from what we might want most in our lives: deeper connection, greater joy, more meaning, and a clearer sense of purpose.

And because the journey into these states can be more subtle and unclear, it's frankly easier and likely more soothing to numb-out or check-out with a juicy distraction like a TV show, a series of YouTube videos, or a trashy novel.

The challenge and question is, “How do I consciously navigate this Distraction Vortex, so it doesn't suck up all of my time — and instead frees up my time for focusing on living more fully into my purpose?”

Here are three steps you can take to help set you free from the Distraction Vortex.

1. Slow Down and Observe Your Activity
The first step is to use whatever stillness practice you have, like meditation or mindfulness, to slow yourself down each day (and if you don't have one, then start one), and begin to observe what pulls your attention toward what you would consider unhealthy distractions.

Then take on a one week “distraction awareness practice” by tracking where you are spending your time in the activities that you consider distractions. This brings to conscious awareness what activities YOU use as distractions to not face something else in your life.

2. Notice What You're Avoiding
The second step is to notice what you may be avoiding in your life that the distractions helps you not have to face. It is typically something you don't want to look at, and which makes you uncomfortable… something that you struggle with in your life.

Being more conscious of the activity, feeling or the energy that you're avoiding helps to burst the bubble on your distraction patterns. Now you have the awareness to make a new choice about whether to engage the specific distractions or not.

3. Recommit with Support
As you see more clearly how your particular distractions don't serve you, you can now recommit yourself to the actions and activities that truly support and serve you — your own growth and your purpose.

By declaring your commitment to the activities that feed your passions and purpose to another person close to you helps you stay accountable to not slipping back into the unhealthy distractions. This support is key to breaking out of the Distraction Vortex.

In the Man on Purpose Course, starting tomorrow (April 17, 2014), we spend two of the 7 weeks on looking at the patterns and habits that take us out of the fuller expression of our authentic power, creativity and purpose. This helps clear the way to bringing more energy and power to our purpose.

To your distraction-free purpose,
Chris

PS The Man on Purpose Course starts tomorrow, April 17th, and there's still time to register and lock in your seat in the course. Go here to register for the course. One man who took the course last year said:

“The course opened me up to the desire and passion to start living as a man who lives to be more of service in all aspects of life. Not “what is my purpose?” but rather how to LIVE with purpose!” — Edward Werger

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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Curious about Why you are Here? Special Q&A Call!

Special Q&A Call Tonight & Important Announcement

We've received a lot of great questions over the last week around the topic of purpose and wanting to know more about our upcoming course — Man On Purpose: The Essential 7-Week Online Course for Men which starts on April 17th.

As I mentioned in my last post, George Daranyi and I will be hosting a special interactive Q&A call tonight – Tuesday April 15th. We will be answering some of the most frequently asked questions about the course, and also about how you can access your hidden power to activate your passions and purpose in the world.

If you have any lingering questions about the course, please join this special Q&A call TONIGHT, MARCH 15TH at 5:30 pm Pacific Time to get the answers you need.

===========================================

Here's how to access the Q&A Session with George and me:

TONIGHT at 5:30 pm Pacific / 8:30 pm Eastern / 12:30 am+1 UTC

To listen by webcast online, go to:

http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventid=54169320

To listen by phone dial:
Number: (425) 440-5100
Access code: 405934#

============================================

A number of men who have experienced the work with us were eager to share how it had improved and changed their lives:

“They showed me how I had been asleep for most of my life, and how I needed to “awaken” and take charge of my life, to take responsibility and be accountable for my actions. In the program, I received the tools to get back into integrity with my family, my friends, and mainly with myself… I learned that it in order to make a difference in this world, to live into my purpose, I first had to change myself.” — Joe A.

“Chris' approach helped me to see where I'm not showing up fully in my life and the shadows that were holding me back. His intuition and awareness guided me to confront these shadows and helped me stay present, even when it was uncomfortable. With Chris's help, I found my growing edge and learned how to take what I experienced in the sessions into my professional and social life, my intimate relations and most of all, my inner journey. By experiencing this place of “deep knowingness”, purpose and fierce love, I experienced the essence of my true nature.” — Tim C.

I also wanted to let you know that our 3-payment option ends this Friday. So if you're planning to register for the course and would benefit from the option of spreading the payments over three months, be sure to register by tomorrow to take advantage of this opportunity.

To learn more and register visit the course information page.

To living your purpose,
Chris Kyle & George Daranyi

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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What is your Doubting Voice keeping you from? – Purpose Block #2

If you missed the first post: here are the 3 Purpose Blocks:
The Fear Triad
The Doubting Voice
The Distraction Vortex

As we move further along our purpose journey path we're likely to run into the second purpose block: The Doubting Voice.

This Doubting Voice inside you might sound like this:

  • Do you really think you can live your purpose — what about making enough money for the family?
  • It sounds too risky to shift careers now… why would you want to do that?
  • Where will you get the support to take on this new project?
  • What happens if it doesn't work out?
  • Do you think you have the talent to write your book, it's really difficult…

Essentially, this inner voice is that part of our thought pattern that is negatively questioning everything we say or do.

And the problem is that when your Doubting Voice collides with your Calling, your unfolding purpose, then it wants to find all the ways to keep you from going to the “unknown edge” — to the places that you'll have to extend yourself, to risk, and to grow in likely uncomfortable ways.

The Doubting Voice's mission is to eliminate risk, keep things the “safe”, and to NOT be uncomfortable. This obviously puts you at odds with yourself at times, and why it is a core block to living your purpose.

So, how do we work with and neutralize our Doubting Voice?

I have found that the best way to work with the Doubting Voice is to make friends with it.

I know, easier said than done. But here's my process of be-friending, or said another way, integrating my inner Doubter.

Start with naming the Doubting Voice in you. You might call it: Doubting Dude, or Cantankerous Cathy, or simply Mr. Doubter. What this does is twofold:

Brings lightness and humor to that part of ourselves that is pretty heavy and a limiter to our full, authentic expression
Allows the witnessing part of yourself to arrive so you can see the bigger perspective beyond your fearful, doubting ego-mind thoughts/voices.

Then it's time to have a brief dialogue with your Doubter. It flows like this:

"Mr. Doubter, do you have some true wisdom for me that I should know about?” Here you're investigating for important information that might be in the doubting voice. A grain of truth that you feel may be important to the issue at hand. Listen to what comes back.

Then say to yourself: “Thank you for sharing. I don't need you at this time. I'm now going to make room for a choice that is for my highest good – my empowered choice.”

And now there is space for you to make a new choice toward your purpose, toward that which brings you more alive.

In the Man on Purpose Course , George Daranyi and I will speak on how to turn your negative inner voices (what we call Inner Bullies) into allies for your growth and expansion. So, I encourage you to let your Doubting Voice be the new fuel for your growth, for a deeper self-acceptance, that will bring more energy and clarity to your purpose work.

To your purpose adventure,
Chris

PS George and I are hosting a special live Q&A Call on Tuesday, April 15th at 5:30 pm PT / 8:30 pm ET to answer all your questions about the upcoming Man on Purpose Course , which starts on April 17th. Mark you calendars now and we'll be sending out Access Details on Monday. Go here to learn more and register for the course.

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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What stops you from claiming or more fully living your purpose?

The challenge I see constantly with people who want clarity of purpose, or want to bring more energy or focus to it, is that there's at least one BIG block   (if not several) in their life that's keeping them from being fully engaged and lit up by their purpose.

I'd like to share with you the top 3 Purpose Blocks   that I've discovered through the purpose work I've done with hundreds of people over the years; and then how to move through these blocks. Today I'll focus on Purpose Block #1.

Here are the 3 Purpose Blocks:

  1. The Fear Triad
  2. The Doubting Voice
  3. The Distraction Vortex

Purpose Block #1 is the Fear Triad . I have consistently found three specific fears that people face when diving into discovering their purpose, OR when they are trying to put the vision of their purpose into action in the world. The three core purpose fears are:

  • Fear of Survival (mostly financial)
  • Fear of Failure
  • Fear of Ridicule

O instinto de sobrevivência está profundamente enraizado na nossa velha cérebro, o cérebro reptiliano, e agora é, em nossa cultura moderna, na sua maioria relacionados com os nossos recursos financeiros.

Assim, o medo de sobrevivência   desenrola assim: Se você optar por ir atrás de seu objetivo, vivendo-a plenamente, então ele pode drenar todos os seus recursos e / ou não ser sustentável no futuro, e você não vai "fazer" - você não vai sobreviver. Você não será capaz de pagar as contas e alimentar a sua família. Então, é apenas mais fácil de evitar a pergunta sobre o propósito completamente do que enfrentar a possibilidade de que você pode não sobreviver, vivendo a "fantasia" de sua finalidade.

O medo do fracasso dentro de nossa exploração propósito pode tornar-se mais pronunciado porque a chamada do nosso propósito pode esticar-nos em áreas desconhecidas, ou testar-nos com novas abordagens e conceitos.

Pode se desenrolar assim: Se você ir para o que você realmente quer, o seu propósito, e falhar; então você falhou por um realmente grande na vida - viver o seu propósito "Isso não seria apenas falhando em um projeto ou uma tarefa, mas pode ter a sensação de um" fracasso de toda a pessoa. "- o ser mensagem:" Eu sou um fracasso na minha vida. "
O medo do ridículo se desenrola assim: se o seu propósito está chamando você para fazer algo diferente em sua vida, para assumir uma nova visão para a sua vida com um novo conjunto de ações, você pode encontrar-se incompreendido pela família, amigos, colegas e talvez até mesmo o seu parceiro.

Isso expõe a reação das pessoas, seu próprio medo e sua ridículo. O medo pode surgir que você vai ser ridicularizado, menosprezado ou rejeitado porque suas idéias parecem não-convencional ou simplesmente estranho para os outros.
Então, aqui está o fluxo de 3-passo de como trabalhar com esses medos naturais do Medo Triad:

> Consciência do Medo
Observe e reconhecer o medo. É importante fazer uma pausa a si mesmo e dar uma olhada mais profunda do interior em que esses temores são para você. Nomeá-los em seu caminho próprio e em suas palavras. Trazê-los para fora da sombra para a luz de sua mente consciente é o primeiro passo.

> Permitir e abrace
Uma vez que você está ciente de seu sabor único do medo, então você está pronto para abraçar este medo como simplesmente uma parte de você e um mecanismo que seu ego-mente usa para mantê-lo seguro.

Isso significa aceitar o medo com a auto-compaixão e vendo-a como uma parte natural de seu crescimento e evolução como ser humano. É importante para você assistir a sua tendência para empurrar o medo para longe, para negá-lo ou fingir que não está lá.

> Abrir para uma nova escolha
Como você permitir e abraçar o seu medo, ele começa a perder sua influência e poder sobre você. Ela ainda pode estar lá, mas ela já foi visto, com o nome e se abraçaram. Então, agora é hora de fazer uma nova escolha que suporta o seu maior crescimento e chamando no momento.

O que você pensou que era apenas possível antes por causa de um desses medos, agora pode parecer possível. Faça uma escolha NEW que serve você e sua apaixonada, expressão criativa.

No Man on Purpose 7 semanas de curso on-line que ensinar-lhe uma poderosa ferramenta chamada do Processo Reframing que irá ajudá-lo a reformular sua mensagem de medo e transferi-los para novas possibilidades e novas escolhas.
Vá para a nossa página informações sobre o curso para saber mais.

Chris Kyle

Chris já treinou e treinou centenas de pessoas a alcançar maior sucesso em seus negócios e suas vidas. Em parceria com a humanidade Project® EUA, que recentemente criou The Power of Purpose Summit eo Man On Purpose curso on-line. Ele também é o co-criador, com Amy Ahlers, do tele-série em curso, New Man, New Woman, Vida Nova.

Além de seu trabalho de desenvolvimento de liderança, Chris passou mais de 24 anos como executivo, empresário, consultor e treinador de negócio, trabalhando em empresas da Fortune 500 e ter sua própria empresa de viagens eco-aventura. Chris formou na Universidade de Stanford, onde estudou Ciências Políticas. Ele vive com sua esposa no norte da Califórnia.

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Wake up call

Categoria: Memória

por Gonzalo Salinas

Todas as manhãs, depois da minha corrida na praia e os meus rituais da manhã, como eu dirijo para o trabalho, vejo os garotos do South Beach Elementary que cruzam a rua, eu vejo as janelas cubanos cheios de pessoas que compram seu café da manhã cubano, vejo a muitos fãs de ioga que levam seu tapete para a sua prática de manhã e vejo a atmosfera mágica da praia de acordar e começar o dia.

Eu cruzo a calçada MacArthur admirando a vista de tirar o fôlego, com o horizonte de Miami e do porto de Miami de um lado e as mansões em frente ao mar e para a baía de Miami sobre o outro. Tomo a I95, meu atalho habitual para as estradas em Coral Way para chegar ao meu escritório.

Eu sou grato por todas as coisas que eu começar a ver todas as manhãs. Por quê? Porque tudo o que eu começo a ver a cada dia é uma bênção. Eu sei em primeira mão ...

praia do Sul

Quando eu era criança, eu absolutamente adorava jogar. Eu estava sempre organizar os jogos. Lembro-me sempre a brincar com meus irmãos mais velhos, com meus amigos ou meus primos. Inventar jogos, correndo, pulando, gritando ... um dos meus favoritos era jogar futebol com uma bola de papel coberto de fita adesiva. Eu estava sempre ocupado sendo uma criança.

Às vezes, na escola, a campainha tocou mais cedo do que o habitual. Fiquei muito feliz porque eu tive a chance de ir para casa e jogar, mas, nessa idade nova, eu não estava ciente de quão perigosa a razão era de por que eles estavam enviando-nos para casa horas antes do final do dia escolar.

A minha escola primária foi ameaçada pelos movimentos terroristas do Sendero Luminoso ou o Movimento Revolucionário Tupac Amaru. Ambos os grupos terroristas que tinham tomado a minha cidade, Lima, e estavam destruindo tudo o que tocou. Quando eles ameaçaram a escola, a única solução foi mandar todo mundo para casa para o dia. Na maioria das vezes, estes foram os falsos alarmes, alguém chamando por nenhuma razão, mas no resto da cidade, você não poderia ir para um café ou um restaurante, pois o terrorista estavam bombardeando as áreas comerciais, escritórios públicos, bancos, privado empresas e cada lugar público que se possa imaginar, espalhando o caos e terror em todo Lima eo resto do país.

Eu cresci com esse ambiente, sem ter consciência do risco constante de que estava apenas caminhando nas ruas de minha cidade. Em 12 anos de horror 1980-1992, o resultado foi de aproximadamente 70 mil pessoas mortas. Felizmente, o governo peruano foi capaz de trazer o terror para atingir um fim.

Há muitos lugares no mundo agora mesmo, como o Paquistão, Iraque ou Somália, onde o terrorismo é parte da vida diária. Eu me sinto tão abençoados por viver onde eu vivo agora. E eu estou acordado - desperto para a realidade de que nem todos experimentam o mundo em que vivo E eu também sou responsável por ficar acordado..

Assim, todas as manhãs, eu sou grato pelo que eu vejo na minha maneira de trabalhar. Gratidão, para mim, é o oposto do medo. Seja grato pelo que você tem e enviar as suas energias positivas ou dizer uma oração para aqueles lugares onde o terror é a realidade. Rezo por um mundo onde todas as crianças podem ir para as ruas, e jogar.

Gonzalo foto

Gonzalo Salinas é um editor assistente para a humanidade Projeto Journal, uma publicação do projeto da humanidade, uma orientação e formação organização sem fins lucrativos que oferece oportunidades poderosas para o crescimento pessoal dos homens em qualquer fase da vida. Salinas estudou Literatura em Lima, Peru, em San Marcos University, e tem estado a viver nos Estados Unidos desde 2003. Ele vive em Miami, FL. Salinas tem o compromisso de seu próprio desenvolvimento pessoal, e para espalhar a palavra sobre a visão ea missão do Projeto Humanidade .

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Lighting the Darkness - Lumos

Visitante Mensagem

Nova Guerreiro irmão Michael Marlin do Havaí vai iluminar o público com sua produção teatral de LUMA: Art in Darkness durante uma turnê de dez cidade na realização de centros de arte em todo o país a partir 28 de março.

Um malabarista comédia top que jogou Las Vegas e abriu para os gostos de Jay Leno, Jerry Seinfeld, George Carlin, e REM, Marlin se afastou de sua bem sucedida carreira solo em 1986. Ele vendeu sua casa em Redondo Beach, Califórnia, e mudou-se para o ilha de Havaí a co-encontrou uma comunidade alternativa ao construir e viver em uma casa na árvore sem eletricidade.

Em 1989, enquanto estava na ativa um fluxo de lava ele percebeu o efeito hipnótico que teve sobre as pessoas e teve a epifania, "Toda a vida é atraída pela luz."

Essa foi a gênese da LUMA, um show que já apareceu em 15 países, 44 estados e tem feito turnês desde 1998. LUMA, com um elenco de sete anos, é um show sobre o tema da luz que combina todos os tipos de disciplinas físicas de ginástica rítmica, marionetas, magia, dança, acrobacia, física e métodos experimentais.

Fundido com uma miríade de tecnologia de luz de lâmpadas incandescentes para bioluminescente, a partir de LEDs para lasers, o passeio irá levá-lo a partir de Arizona Massachusetts durante um período de cinco semanas.

"Três anos atrás Marlin veio a Houston e abriu com seu ato de malabarismo," Sonny Elliot, uma humanidade Projeto ritual ancião recorda, "[LUMA] foi um over-the-top desempenho brilhante e. Com a música 'visual' e dança "técnico", juntamente com o entusiasmo da multidão, era um home run. "

Em manifestando sua visão de LUMA, Marlin encontrou um monte de ceticismo. Ele se manteve fiel à sua criação, ampliando o show e edifício em novas tecnologias como ele evoluiu, observando como outros artistas recentemente flertou com alguns dos elementos leves teatrais ele foi pioneira, popularizando-lo em programas como "Got Talent da América".

Marlin has long been a pioneer and visionary. His work in the field of comedy and juggling back in the 70's and early 80's influenced a generation of jugglers who followed. Barry Friedman from the ManKind Project in Northern California and half of the juggling duo “The Raspini Brothers”, reports, “I remember standing in our family kitchen when I was 18 years old and seeing Michael Marlin on a TV show called Real People.”

“It showed me a bigger picture of what was possible if I stuck with juggling: the possibility of having fun and making people laugh. Marlin has continued to raise the bar both artistically and professionally. His show LUMA has brilliantly merged the visual appeal of juggling with the mind-boggling technology of electronically controlled lighting.”

COME SEE LUMOS

Come see LUMOS this spring.

“The journey to take a vision bigger than one person can pull off and turn it into a physical manifestation with so many moving parts was daunting,” says Marlin. “The work I have done in the ManKind Project has helped me in an incalculable way in my ability to lead others in a clean way and not pull my hair out, (or theirs) when things don't go as planned.”

“I have no doubt that the ripples Marlin is making in the lives of both his audiences and the members of his cast will spread out and touch millions of lives,” said Friedman.

Ticket information and videos of LUMA can be found online at http://www.lumatheater.com .

Show Schedule:

March 26th Gilbert, AZ – Higley Center
April 4th Ft. Collins, CO – Lincoln Center
April 6th Santa Fe, NM – Lensic Theater
April 7th Las Vegas, NM – University of New Mexico Highland Center
April 11th Chippewa Falls, WI – Heyde Center
April 12th Madison, WI – Barrymore Theater
April 13th Schaumberg, IL – Prairie Performing Arts Center
April 20/21st Roanoke, VA – Jefferson Center
April 27th Storrs, CT – University of Connecticut Jorgensen Center
April 29th Queens, NY – Queens College
May 2nd Worcester, MA – Hanover Theater

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Video: “The Revolution is Love” with Charles Eisenstein

shared by Chris Kyle

This powerful 4-minute video features Charles Eisenstein, author of Sacred Economics , from a documentary about the Occupy Movement. Charles will be a featured speaker at the ManKind Project USA's upcoming Power of Purpose Online Summit in March 2014 (more details are coming soon).

I love Charles' last line of this video clip: “…Everybody has a unique calling and it's really time to listen to that. That's what the future is going to be. It's time to get ready for it, and contribute to it, and help make it happen.”

Charles Eisenstein is a teacher, speaker, and writer focusing on themes of civilization, consciousness, money, and human cultural evolution. He is the author of 6 books includingSacred Economics, The Ascent of Humanity and The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible.

“Remember that self-doubt is as self-centered as self-inflation. Your obligation is to reach as deeply as you can and offer your unique and authentic gifts as bravely and beautifully as you're able.”
— Bill Plotkin, author of Soulcraft*

* Bill is also speaking at the Power of Purpose Summit in March.

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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My Elder Soul ~ a poem

Category: Men as Elders , Poetry

by Reuel Czach

Elders, we are losing our Soul.
We are so caught up individually in petty offenses
and bickering and wounded-ness,
that we are letting our civilization and our planet die.
Mas o mais importante,
we are letting our souls die.

When I chose to be wounded,
and walk through life withdrawn in my cave,
or I choose to be over-armored,
to the point of being weighed down,
with such heavy baggage,
nada mais importa,
…..my soul is lost.

I chose to take a step toward claiming,
my lost soul,
when I chose to meet with men in an honest, open circle.

I choose my soul,
when I decide to be so humble,
that no one can offend me.

I choose my soul,
when I chose wisdom,
over being right.

I choose my soul,
when I chose service,
over selfishness.

I choose my soul,
when I chose looking within,
to find all the evil I see outside myself.

I choose my soul,
when I walk the path of life,
where I am nothing,
and I am everything,
in sacred balance.
My choices mean everything,
my offenses mean nothing.

My offenses mean I still have inner work to do
and for the sake of generations to come,
I better get it done as quickly as possible.

My choices mean I have the power to save myself,
my loved ones, my friends, and possibly many more people,
from a mean, selfishness and a lonely death.

I feel great sadness and sorrow,
for all that is being lost.

While the distractions of hurt,
wounded-ness and bickering,
suck so much energy out of my soul,
…..and the soul of my people.

Every hurt and wound and chance to be right,
is a mirror of my soul,
and an opportunity to heal.

Faça! Choose healing.
Then choose wisdom and kindness,
and be the Elder you were meant to be.

Distractions are my enemy,
anything that tries to pull me off,
my narrow mission.

I just need to let Spirit control my life,
where my spirit joins and serves,
a much bigger wisdom,
than I could ever fully understand.

I am asked this day to request of myself,
and men who call themselves Elders.
A humble request,
that we focus on the wisdom to light a path,
for those who come after us.
Humble man, Jan 2014

Reuel Czach

Reuel Czach is a 60 year old, Christian man with a wonderful wife and two sons, a daughter and a stepson. He has lived in San Luis Obispo County, California for over 30 years and practiced architecture for most of those years. Czach is an I-Group Coordinator for the Swallow Creek Coastal Circle in Cayucos. He actively supports and builds the Elder community in San Luis Obispo and is the Co-Elder Chair of the MKP Santa Barbara Community. Czach leads a weekly men's circle in my church and is a leader in the men's ministry.

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My Purpose Over My Relationship?

by Chris Kyle

I came across this quote from David Deida (author of Way of the Superior Man ) a couple of days ago:

“Admit to yourself that if you had to choose one or the other, the perfect intimate relationship or achieving your highest purpose in life, you would choose to succeed at your purpose. Just this self-knowledge often relieves much pressure a man feels to prioritize his relationship when, in fact, it is not his highest priority.”

I have to say right off the bat, that when I first read this quote I thought to myself… do I have to choose one OVER the other?

And then another part of me stood up (in my head, of course) and said “that's right, achieving my highest purpose would definitely rock!”

Clearly there's a conflict running inside me regarding how I prioritize living my purpose as a man, and where I place my relationship.

So, as I look at my own life to investigate this question of the priority of purpose, I do see that I am most alive, engaged and passionate when I'm doing what I love, giving my gifts and bringing my purpose forward to serve others.

And if I decided to choose my relationship OVER living fully into my purpose, I think a part of me would shrivel up. And I know that my power and confidence would be diminished in the world.

And at the end of the day, I don't want living my purpose to hurt or damage my relationship with my wife. I know that I can give my full presence and heart to my relationship without sacrificing my purpose.

But real juice and fire in our relationship comes from me making bold choices to follow my heart and gut, and give my gifts, my purpose with passion and without apology. And my wife finds this super sexy and is proud of me even during the times I am putting my purpose work above our relationship time.

The twist here is that in my experience living boldly into my purpose, with all the triumphs and failures that goes with that, my relationship thrives.

And of course, my purpose as I shared it above applies to my wife as well (she's a “being” too), and so I can be in my purpose through supporting her on her path of growth.

What I hear from many men that I work with is that they are trying so hard to make their relationship work or to please their partner so they can have a more harmonious and “easy” life.

The challenge of putting their relationship above the full expression of their purpose, is that it diminishes the energy, fire and confidence in themselves that could infuse the relationship with much needed passion or juiciness.

So here's how I have learned to hold this priority tension between relationship and purpose. I give my full presence, attention and heart to my relationship whenever we are together. I am not half-there or checked out because I'm thinking about work, or half-listening to her because my purpose work is invading my thoughts and it's THE PRIORITY.

Rather, when I'm engaged in my purpose work, I'm there fully and making that a priority in my life even if it means making some difficult choices about the time I spend with my wife.

I find that the natural balance arises when I am passionately engaged in my purpose AND I bring that juice and fire into my relationship with full presence and an open heart — regardless of how much time we have with each other (days or minutes).

And you know, I still reserve the right to make my relationship the focus of my purpose at any given time if it needs it and demands more of me for a period of time. How's that for a slick caveat — and it's been true at specific times in my life.

Keep working your purpose edge, bring full presence to each moment, keep your heart open and you'll see your life soar… in both your purpose AND your relationship.

CK

PS What do you think? Deixe um comentário!

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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The World Needs More Elders

By Donald Clerc

What's the difference between being an Elder and being elderly? I never really thought about that question until joining the ManKind Project two years ago.

I'm 57, have three grown children, one young grandchild, and own my own business. So I've “been around the block” a few times and have learned a thing or two along the way. But no one had challenged me on what I can do with that experience and wisdom in this second half of my life.

What are the characteristics of an Elder? We all know of older people who do not behave in an Elder way. And we also know of younger people who already exhibit Elder-like qualities. Here's what I see are some of the qualities and behaviors of an Elder:

• Speaking the truth with authority and wisdom.
• Speaking with kindness and a fierce authenticity at the same time.
• Having a gracious and open heart.
• Standing for higher values and strong standards of behavior.
• Drawing the line against counterproductive behavior.
• Giving, serving, honoring and blessing others.
• Standing in responsible support of leaders.
• Knowing when all you need to do is be present and listen.

Old-People Being an Elder is not the same as being elderly. Just because you are older doesn't make you wise. And if you don't share that hard-won wisdom with others, then you are not benefiting society as an Elder.

Being an Elder is not the same as being a leader. The Elder looks out for the leaders and the lead alike. The Elder uses his wisdom and experience for the good of everyone. His honesty and values help the young to mature and help the already mature to stay in touch with their core values.

Many other societies honor their Elders. It seems like our materialistic society only honors those people (young or old) who buy things, make things, or do things. How does one get honored for being and sharing wisdom? Elders can help the younger generations focus on developing their core values and stop being overly focused on material things.

Where can today's Elders practice their craft? I grew up in a Presbyterian church, which is run by Elders by design. But outside of organized religion, schools and businesses, where else can Elders give of their gifts? If our communities can learn to utilize all of this elder wisdom in an organized way, everyone benefits.

What stops older people from stepping into the role of the Elder? The first obstacle to overcome is the assumption or lack of awareness that one is already an Elder simply because one has already experienced a half-century or more of life. The second obstacle is a lack of training on Elder-like behaviors. These behaviors are not difficult to learn – what most people need to learn are how to undo the negative habits that inhibit or cover their natural Elder qualities from coming out.

In conclusion, young people need more Elders in their lives. They grow up easier and with more maturity. I think it's time for older people need to step into their roles as Elders. This gives them a greater sense of fulfillment and contribution to society than continuing the consumerist behaviors of when they were younger.

What we still need are a way to train more people in the second half of their life to embrace their inner Elder. And we need to develop more avenues in society where Elders can give of their gifts to others.

Donald Clerc is a computer technologist and entrepreneur. He has over 30 years experience working with computers, and started his own computer consulting company 16 years ago. Before that he was an associate school psychologist. Donald is married (for over 35 years), has three grown children and one grandchild. He completed the New Warrior Training Adventure in 2011 and is a declared Elder in the Houston MKP Community.
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How we feel emotions in our Body

by Boysen Hodgson

from Discover Magazine

Research done by a group of scientists, recently published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences reveals some interesting facts about how human beings experience emotions in their bodies. For men involved in the ManKind Project, it was a nice affirmation of what we've been teaching and practicing for nearly 30 years.

In the ManKind Project, we see and hear men struggle to describe or name what they're feeling. Mad? Sad? Glad? Afraid? Ashamed? They frequently have an easy time saying what they think, or making statements that express judgment about what is happening around them, but when asked to name the emotional state they're experiencing … many men are stumped. For most of us, this is a result of being raised in families and in a culture that doesn't teach or model emotional literacy.

To help men learn what they are feeling and be able to name it; without expectation of changing it or shame for feeling it, we teach men to look their bodies for clues.

“What sensations are you feeling?”
“Where are the sensations in your body?”
“What color (shape, size, texture) might it have?”
and finally …
“If you were to give it a name … mad, sad, glad, afraid, ashamed … what would you call it?”

This basic template for exploration begins to tease apart the stories and narratives in our minds from the raw physical experience we are having in our bodies. Often this is the first step in decoupling habits of reaction so that men can make changes in their behaviors and beliefs about themselves and the world.

Emotion – the felt sense, the hormonal and neurological chain-reaction set into motion by thoughts and experiences of the world – is one of the most powerful sources of information we can harness to improve ourselves and have a positive impact on the world. Many of us create habits of denial, repression, and avoidance of our emotions that have wide ranging personal, interpersonal, and cultural impacts in our communities.

This is a great time to bear witness to the cultural awakening that is underway.

Men's Work – the difficult and fantastic process of waking up, growing up, and showing up in the world for the benefit of humanity – is main-stream. As soon as this article was published, ManKind Project men from around the world were sharing it with quips about printing it out as a quick reference guide for men beginning the exhilarating process of connecting 'head' and 'heart.'

Here is the link to the article:
How we feel emotions in our body

Boysen Hodgson

Boysen Hodgson is the Communications and Marketing Director for the ManKind Project USA, a nonprofit mentoring and training organization that offers powerful opportunities for men's personal growth at any stage of life. Boysen received his BA with Honors from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, after completing 2 years of Design coursework at Cornell University. He has been helping companies and individuals design the change they wish to see in the world for 15 years. He's a dedicated husband.

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