Do you ask for help?

by Owen Marcus

I am learning. In this post on my blog I write about creating and then allowing your community to help you and how it is a challenge for us men.

I see in many men, including myself that asking for help is difficult. We would rather offer than ask. Is that true for you? When was the last time you asked someone to go out of their way for you?

A few weeks ago in our men’s group we had a man ask to have a whole meeting dedicated to him. An old issue was up for him – he wanted to address it head on. We rotate weekly leadership. That week was my week. I asked him what he needed and what outcome he wanted. He told me he wanted his wife along with my partner to be present at the meeting. We made it happen.

We had a powerful meeting that night with ten men and two women. Everyone walked away with more than they expected to get. This occurred because a man asked for help. He asked for more than any other man had ever asked for in our groups. He raised the bar for all of us.

Asking for what he wanted, speaking his unspeakable needs make it safe for others to speak theirs as well. Two weeks later we are still seeing how one man’s courage is catalyzing others to reveal their truths and ask for help. This ripple of change continues outside our group. The man who requested a meeting for himself is speaking about working through his depression to others outside the group. Repeatedly they respond with, “Me too.”

Owen Marcus, MA a Rolfer, holistic medical clinic owner, men’s group leader and for 30 years has catalyzed deep change for other men. His blog – www.owenmarcus.com addresses a wide range of concerns for men. Owen was a featured speaker at the Ultimate Men’s Summit in June 2011. He completed the New Warrior Training Adventure in 1997.

– is a deeply personal issue that everyone decides for himself. Sometimes the price is high, sometimes low. But this is not very important for life. Life is an interesting thing. And the price on Viagra – too.

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