我的目的在我的关系?

由克里斯·凯尔

我碰到这句话从大卫Deida前几天( 君子之路的作者):

“承认自己,如果你必须选择一个或另一个,完美的亲密关系,或实现自己最高的人生目标,你会选择你的目的得逞。 就在这个自我认知往往减轻压力很大男人的感觉,而事实上,这不是他的最高优先级,优先他的关系。“

我不得不说马上蝙蝠,当我第一次读到这句话我心想......我必须要选择一个比其他?

然后我的另一部分站了起来(在我的头上,当然),并说:“这是正确的,取得了我的最高目的,肯定会动摇!”

显然,有一个内部的冲突,我跑就怎么优先化的生活我的目的,作为一个男人,在这里我把我的关系。

所以,当我看着我自己的生活,调查目的的优先级这个问题,我也看到了我最活的,从事与激情,当我在做什么我爱,给我的礼物,使我的目的前进服务其他人。

如果我决定选择我的生活OVER完全进入我的目的的关系,我觉得我的一部分会枯萎。 我知道,我的力量和信心会在世界受到削弱。

并在一天结束的时候,我不希望我的生活目的,伤害或破坏我和我妻子的关系。 我知道,我可以给我的全存在和心脏,以我的关系不会牺牲我的目的。

但真正的果汁和火在我们的关系来自我大胆的选择,按照我的心脏和内脏,给我的礼物,我的目的有激情,没有道歉。 和我的妻子发现这种超级性感的,甚至在次我把上面我们之间的关系时我的目的是工作,我感到自豪。

这里的转折是,在我的生活经验,大胆地融入我的目的,所有的胜利和失败的去与我的关系蓬勃发展。

,当然,我的目的,我也跟上面适用于我的妻子,以及(她是一个“存在”也是如此),所以我可以在我的目的,通过对经济增长的路径她支持她。

我从许多人认为我的工作与听到的是,他们正努力使他们的关系的工作或为了取悦他们的合作伙伴,使他们能够有一个更和谐,“易”生活。

把上面的宗旨,充分表达他们的关系的挑战,在于它削弱了能源,消防和自信心,可能与注入急需的激情或多汁的关系。

所以这里就是我已经学会举办的关系和目的之间的优先紧张关系。 我给我充分的存在,重视和心脏,以我的关系,只要我们在一起。 我不是半有或签了,因为我在想工作,或半听她的,因为我的目的是工作,侵入了我的想法,它的优先级。

相反,当我从事我的工作的目的,我有充分的决策在我的生命,即使这意味着决策有关的时间我陪伴我的妻子了一些艰难的选择优先级。

我发现,当我热情地从事我的目的和我提起这果汁和火进入我的关系有充分的存在和开放的心脏自然平衡发生 - 不管我们有多少时间与对方(天或分钟)。

你知道,我仍然保留对任何给定的时间我的关系,我的目的焦点,如果需要它,一段时间需要更多的我的权利。 是如何形成的一个圆滑的警告 - 它是真实的,在我生命中的特定时间。

保持工作的目的优势,带来完全存在于每个瞬间,让你的心脏打开,你会看到你的生命翱翔......在这两个目的,你和你的关系。

CK

PS你怎么看? 发表评论!

克里斯·凯尔

克里斯训练和执教数百人实现他们的业务和生活取得更大的成功。 在与人类PROJECT®美国的合作伙伴关系,他最近创建的目的峰会的力量和人在目的的在线课程。 目前的长焦系列,新人,新女性,新生活的同时,他也是共同创作,艾米阿勒斯。

除了他的领导力发展工作,克里斯已经花了超过24年的高管,企业家,顾问,企业教练,在世界500强企业工作,拥有自己的生态探险旅游公司。 克里斯毕业于美国斯坦福大学,他研究政治学。 他与他的妻子在北加州。

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世界需要更多的老年人

类别: 父权男性长者

由唐纳德·克莱尔

什么是作为一个长辈和老人被区别? 我从来没有想过这个问题,直到两年前加入了人类的工程。

我57岁,有三个成年孩子,一个年轻的孙子,并拥有自己的事业。 所以我“一直是各地块”了几次,了解到两个一路上的事情。 但没有人对我可以用这些经验和智慧,在这第二个我生命的一半做我挑战。

什么是长辈的特点是什么? 我们都知道老年人不要表现得长辈的方式谁的。 而且我们也知道年轻人谁已经表现出长辈般的气质。 这是我看到的都是一些长辈的素质和行为:

•谈到与权威和智慧的真理。
•谈到与善良,一场激烈的真实性的同时。
•拥有一个亲切的和开放的心脏。
•站在更高的价值观念和行为强制的标准。
•对绘画适得其反的行为就行。
•给,服务,尊重和祝福他人。
•人大常委会负责任的领导的支持。
•知道什么时候你需要做的是存在和倾听。

老人们 作为一个长辈是不一样的是老年人。 仅仅因为你年纪大了不会使你聪明。 如果你不与他人分享来之不易的智慧,那么你就不能造福于社会作为一个长辈。

作为一个长辈是不一样的作为一个领导者。 上古查找出来的领袖和领导的一致好评。 长辈用他的智慧和经验,为大家的利益。 他的诚实和价值观帮助年轻走向成熟,并帮助已经成熟,可以保持联系与他们的核心价值观。

其他许多社会孝敬长辈。 这似乎是我们的物欲横流的社会只有荣誉的人(不论老少)谁买东西,做的事情,或者做的事情。 怎样才能获得表彰是和分享智慧? 长老可以帮助年轻一代专注于发展自己的核心价值观,不要再过分集中于物质的东西。

在那里,今天的长老修炼自己的手艺? 我在长老教会,这是由运行长老设计中长大。 但宗教组织,学校和企业外,还有什么地方可以长老给他们的礼物呢? 如果我们的社会能够学会利用这一切智慧的长者以有组织的方式,每个人都受益。

是什么阻止老年人从步入老年的角色? 要克服的第一个障碍是假设还是缺乏认识,一个是已经是上古或仅仅因为一个已经经历了一个半世纪多的生活。 第二个障碍是缺乏对老年人般的行为训练。 这些行为并不难学 - 大多数人需要学习的是如何撤消抑制消极的习惯或脱出掩盖他们的长辈自然本色。

总之,年轻人需要在他们的生活更长老。 他们长大后更容易和更成熟。 我觉得是时候为老年人需要步入他们作为长辈的角色。 这让他们满足和贡献更大意义上的社会不是继续当他们是年轻的消费主义行为。

我们仍然需要有一种方法来培养更多的人在其一生中的第二个半拥抱自己内心的长辈。 我们需要发展社会更多的途径在哪里长老可以给别人给自己的礼物。

唐纳德·克莱尔是计算机技术专家和企业家。 他拥有超过30年的经验,使用电脑工作,并开始了自己的计算机咨询公司16年前。 在此之前,他是助理学校心理学家。 唐纳德是已婚(超过35年),有三个成年子女和一个孙子。 他完成了新战士训练的冒险在2011年在休斯敦社区MKP声明的长老。
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我们如何感受的情绪在我们的身体

由百胜霍奇森

从发现杂志

研究由一组科学家近日发表在美国国家科学院的论文做了揭示了他们的身体如何人类的情感经历一些有趣的事实。 对于所涉及的人类工程的人,这是我们一直在教学和实践近30年来一个漂亮的肯定。

在人类项目,我们看到和听到的人很难描述或名称他们的感觉是什么。 疯了吗? 悲哀? 高兴? 害怕吗? 惭愧吗? 他们经常有一个简单的时间说他们怎么想,或使这一表达对所发生的事情在他们身边,但当问到的情感状态,他们正在经历...很多男人都难倒的判断语句。 对于我们大多数人来说,这是被提出在家庭和文化不教或型号的情感素养的结果。

为了帮助男性了解他们的感受,并能够将其命名为; 在不改变它,或者羞耻感吧期望,我们教给男人看他们的身体线索。

“你的感觉是什么感觉?”
“哪里是你的身体的感觉?”
“可能它有什么颜色(形状,大小,纹理)?”
终于...
“如果你给它一个名字......疯了,伤心,高兴,害怕,羞愧......你会打电话吗?”

为探索这个基本模板开始梳理出在我们的脑海中的故事和叙述,从我们有在我们的身体的原始物理体验。 这种情况往往是在去耦反应的习惯,这样的男人可以使他们的行为变化和信念对自己和世界的第一步。

情感 -毛毡意义上说,激素和神经系统的连锁反应套入由世界的想法和经验的运动-是信息的最强大的来源,我们可以利用,以提高自己和对世界产生积极影响的。 我们中的许多制造否认,压抑,和避免我们的感情已经广泛的在我们的社区个人,人际和文化影响的习惯。

这是一个伟大的时刻见证了文化觉醒是正在进行中。

男人的工作 -醒来,成长,并显示在世界上为人类造福起来的困难和梦幻般的过程-是主流。 当这篇文章发表后,人类工程的人来自世界各地的人用妙语连珠分享它有关打印出来作为一个快速参考指南,男性开始连接“头”和令人振奋的过程“心脏”。

这里是链接到本文:
我们如何感受的情绪在我们的身体

百胜霍奇森

百胜霍奇森是通信和营销总监的人类工程美国,一个非盈利性的指导和培训机构,提供功能强大的机会,在人生的任何阶段男人的个人成长。 百胜获得学士学位与荣誉来自马萨诸塞大学阿默斯特分校,完成2年设计课程的康奈尔大学之后。 他一直致力于帮助企业和个人设计的,他们希望看到在世界15年的变化。 他是一个专用的丈夫。

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20诊断迹象表明,你是否患有“失去灵魂”。 文章利萨兰

由贡萨洛·萨利纳斯

我非常感谢兰利萨博士。 我想她救了我,帮助我了解正在发生的事情在我的生活。 我被训练了铁人三项,我是不是感觉不错。 我的身体不能再忍受了,当我去到三个不同的医生,他们各自进行了一些测试,结果是一样的:一切都没有问题。

但是,我并没有感觉很好。 一天晚上,我离开工作,检查我的电子邮件,我发现在我的收件箱中的视频,我不记得是从现在谁。 标题是关于由利萨博士兰你的健康令人震惊的真相 这是自2011年TED演讲(我把它下面)。 看完整个视频后,我就迷上了。 我点了她的书脑海里医学 ,我开始被更多的涉及到我的激情的日常工作,而不是病理愈合过程。

利萨兰是一个勇敢的灵魂,对一个系统,把我们的身体就像机器的战斗。 她的装备打战役:LOVE。 她说,她的任务是要突出“ 关爱卫生保健。”我认为她的作品为每位医生,治疗师,治疗师,萨满一个惊人的机会,人们参与的药物或任何形式的治疗实践中学习和成长中的他们实践中。

她是一个任务。 她被公认。 我祈祷,她继续治疗人类。

这里是一个链接到一个伟大的文章,她写道。 检查出来,并考虑介入:

20诊断迹象表明,你是否患有“失去灵魂”


贡萨洛照片

贡萨洛·萨利纳斯是一个助理编辑的人类工程杂志,出版物的人类工程,一个非盈利性的辅导和培训机构在人生的任何阶段提供对男人的个人成长强大的机会。 萨利纳斯文学研究在秘鲁首都利马的圣马科斯大学,并一直居住在美国自2003年以来他住在佛罗里达州迈阿密。 萨利纳斯致力于他自己的个人发展,并传播有关的愿景和使命的话,人类工程

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麦当劳得来速,上午08时23分

类别: 父权回忆录

由温特沃斯·米勒

麦当劳
威廉姆斯,加利福尼亚州
2013年12月23日
上午08时32分(约)

我拉进得来速,空的,除了巨大的白色郊区在我前面,未来掌握在callbox的,像一个游艇停靠。 当窗口滚动下来,我可以看到他的侧镜的驱动程序。 男,光头,30年代中期。

对讲机裂纹作为麦当劳的员工足球场不管它是什么,他/她被勒令在顺序的顶部一分力。 鉴于本赛季,想必一些节日十岁上下。 高果糖。

我的窗口的卷起来,所以我不能听到他们的交流,但我可以看到那人的嘴唇在动,他的眼睛放牧菜单。 他转身离callbox,解决别人的郊区里,问他们想要的早餐是什么。 据推测。

这时候,我看到有多少人他有他。 一个文字车皮。 我看到多头。 他们中的大多数小。 这家伙有在里面四五个孩子。 至少。 再加上妻子。 所有的人都希望早餐。 没有一个人曾经去过麦当劳,显然,因为方向盘后面的人是通过整个他妈的菜单谈论他们。 每天最后一个项目。 显然。

对讲机再次爆裂声,我看了一眼在我的后视镜里,看到两辆车在等待我的身后,用我自己的废气混入由蜱秒。

我回头看郊区爸爸,默默愿意他快点起来。 他没有。 他面带微笑,以他的时间,确保他得到大家的订单的权利。

我想他的声音在我的脑海。

“是啊......我能得到一个培根,鸡蛋和奶酪饼干? 没有等待 - 少了些的过敏奶酪。 我可以得到一个培根鸡蛋饼干没有奶酪? 没有等待 - 你可以作出这样一个松饼? 我可以得到一个香肠松饼鸡蛋? 没有奶酪。 少了些不能有奶酪“(McCetera)。

我想要的是一个大的咖啡2奶精就在身边。

不幸的是我,爸,妈,少了些,而少了些的36兄弟姐妹将需要几个分钟就拿定主意。

我叹了口气,看向我的左边,试图分散我自己和我的窗外的景色。 但有什么可看的。 就在平整,干燥袤延伸到地平线,中灰色,棕色和米色此尘暴暗淡的冬季Vista的创建者大会(排队的话5个是广告牌可以相信)。

我把我的目光回到了郊区,在爸爸(再次)患难见真情,还是陷害他的侧镜。 他抚摸着自己的下巴,看着菜单(再次)。 考虑到他的选择。 我不知道的人还抚摸着自己的下巴。

我期待在我的后视镜里,看到现在有三辆车在我身后。 这里谈到的第四位。

几个场景在我的脑海中运行。

第一个场景:我敲击两次我的号角。 哔哔。 看着爸爸的眼睛见见我的倒车镜。 他的额头皱起。 我微笑。 耸肩。 就像,“你能不能快点起来,好吗?”

第二个场景:我猛烈地刺向我的车喇叭。 BLAP。 看着爸爸的眼睛见见我的倒车镜。 他的额头皱起。 我举起我的手。 耸肩。 像“哎呦 - 不是故意要撞角。 But while I have your attention, could you hurry it up, please?”

3rd Scenario: I violently stab my car horn. And hold it. BLAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP. Watch as Dad's eyes meet mine in the side mirror. His brow furrows. I stare him down. Like, “Yeah. You heard me.” He sticks his head out the window, looks back at me. “You gotta problem?” Maybe he actually opens his door, gets out and walks back to my car, wants to find out what my problem is face to face. (This scenario could lead to violence. Fisticuffs. A McFlurry of punches.)

4th Scenario: Someone behind me taps THEIR horn. 哔哔。 Dad's eyes meet mine in the side mirror. His brow furrows. I lift my hands. Shrug. Like, “Hey – wasn't me, buddy. But while we have your attention…”

My fingers drum the steering wheel.

Then, at last, he's done. Miracle of miracles. I sweep in behind the Suburban the second it moves forward, colonizing the space it so recently occupied. If it were a seat it would still be warm. Now it's mine. 所有地雷。 I have my window rolled down. I am breathless with impatience. Ready to order.

“Hi and welcome to McDonald's! Would you like to try our new -”

“Can I get a large black coffee with two creamers on the side?”

“Will that complete your order?”

“是的。 谢谢。“

“Your total is f – ”

I drive past the callbox and up to the first window, the window where you pay. Or at least I try to. But the Suburban's still there. Idling. Of course. I can't tell if Dad's paid and waiting for change or if he's still digging around looking for exact coinage.

I lift my weary eyes to the top of his vehicle, spot a rooftop cargo carrier. 黑色的。 相当大的。 I wonder what's inside. Body parts maybe. Or Christmas presents. Body parts wrapped as Christmas presents. They're probably on their way to Grandma's house. Or a vacation cabin. ('Tis the season.)

I see movement out of the corner of my eye, catch a McDonald's employee handing Dad back his credit card and receipt. Dad says something in return (thank you?). Smiles. This guy's all fucking smiles. A regular chucklehead. Apparently.

Dad says something else to the employee (Merry Christmas?). Then, instead of driving forward and keeping the line moving, instead of showing a degree of awareness and/or respect for the fact that he/they are not alone in this drive-thru and/or world, Dad stays where he is. I see him looking down at his lap, fussing with something. His credit card maybe. He's putting it back in his wallet. THEN he'll move forward.

For fuck's sake.

One of the kids must've said something funny because now Dad is laughing, hard, head thrown back. I see gums in the side mirror, a small black gullet ringed by tiny white teeth.

The 1st Scenario pops into my head again, the one where I tap my horn twice. 哔哔。 Watch as Dad's eyes meet mine in the side mirror, brow furrowing. I smile, shrug. “Could you hurry it up, please?” Dad gives me the stink-eye but pulls forward, allowing me to pay for my coffee at the first window. A minute later I'm back on the 5, nursing my cup of joe and listening to some tunes, inner monologue re: the family in the white Suburban being rapidly replaced by thoughts re: me. And lunch. Then me again.

Meanwhile – still 1st Scenario – the Suburban's back on the road as well, but now Dad's mood has soured. He's still thinking (brooding) about that asshole behind him at McDonald's, the one who honked his horn. The one who wanted him/them to hurry the fuck up. That honk felt personal. Like an insult. Dad thinks maybe he should've gotten out of the car and walked back there, found out what that guy's problem was face to face. 是啊。 Maybe he should have. Dad knows he ought to let it slide but can't, has never been good at shrugging things off. His fingers drum the steering wheel.

Dad's wife sits next to him, tense, eyes front, shoulders climbing up to her ears. There's been a change in the weather and she knows it. She's heard this record before. She gives her husband a look, assessing the situation, finger to the wind, waiting to see where this will go. But she can guess.

Lexie and her thirty-six brothers and sisters sit behind them, subdued now. There's been a change in the weather and they know it. They eat quietly, trying not to crinkle their Sausage McMuffin with Egg wrappers too loudly. To no avail.

One of them is an hour and 42 minutes away from getting slapped.

It might happen sooner. It might happen later. But it's happening.

I sit in the drive-thru with my foot on the brake, staring at the backs of those little heads in the Suburban in front of me, wondering which of them it will be.

Do I know for sure that honking my horn means one of those kids is getting slapped?

当然不是。

Would I really be responsible if the former resulted in the latter?

No. That's absurd.

Ish.

If Lexie and her thirty-six brothers and sisters are growing up in an environment where slapping occurs, slapping will occur, no matter how quietly they eat their breakfasts. No matter how many drivers refrain from honking at Dad, palms will meet cheeks.

Guaranteed.

But I don't want to be a link in that chain.

So I still my fingers on the steering wheel and leave my horn unhonked. I will wait the extra 5 minutes for my morning coffee. I will let Dad – still chuckling, by the way – pull forward to the pick-up window when he's good and ready.

我无所谓。

When he does I follow behind, moving well under 5 mph. When I stop next to the pay window, I brake so gently I can barely tell I've braked at all. Or that I was ever moving.

I've got my bills and exact change ready. $4.34. I extend my closed fist toward the window as it slides open, revealing a ponytailed teenager in a McDonald's visor and faded parka. She smiles apologetically, nods toward the Suburban in front of me. Shrugs. Says, “Sorry about the wait. That guy took forever, huh?”

Wentworth Miller

Born in England, raised in Brooklyn, New York, and a graduate of Princeton University, Wentworth Miller is a compelling and critically acclaimed young actor whose credits span both television and feature film. Learn more about Wentworth Miller at IMdb . Miller is a member of the ManKind Project USA, Los Angeles Community.

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Embrace Bad Experiences Like a Warrior

by Shawn Rhodes

What I remember most about the first time someone tried to take my life was how good the water tasted.

It was spring of 2004, and I was in a cargo vehicle full of infantry Marines. We headed out to protect an overpass used as a supply route to Baghdad. It was being shelled regularly by the local Jihad constabulary. The big, clunky vehicle pulled under the bridge and we waited for further orders. Apparently, it's a bad idea to park a vehicle in a spot the enemy has plenty of experience hitting. We immediately began receiving incoming mortar fire.

I heard the order to abandon the vehicle, and I was two people from the rear hatch. The man closest to the back jumped the 12 feet from the truck bed to the ground, rolled on the pavement and ran for cover as the rounds rained around him. The second man followed, and was peppered by shrapnel along the right side of his body. The rounds came in half-second increments, and when they hit the pavement around us, it was like geysers opened. Smoke, gravel, and pieces of steel sprayed up and out like jets of black steam. I jumped from the vehicle and a mortar exploded underneath me.

The next thing I remember was swinging from the rear tailgate of the huge truck as it lurched forward. One hand gripping the steel while the rest of me banged around against the bumper. I dropped to the ground and checked myself – no wounds. When we finally settled in for the night, I realized I'd never been so thirsty. That lukewarm, stale, chlorinated water tasted like it had come from the Swiss alps.

I share this story because I want to jog your memory. I want you to remember the elation that comes from surviving. More importantly, I want to share with you a key principle of living a life with Shoshin, Beginner's Heart:

The best moments occur when you push yourself (or are pushed) beyond what you think you can handle. It is what you do with that victory, however, that defines the rest of your life.

Trauma is a well-recognized and ancient way of bringing oneself to the brink of what we think we can handle. If someone survives, it changes them forever. Many of the veterans I fought with are still coming to terms with what they experienced on the battlefield. These folks were certainly physically stronger than I was, most were smarter, and our training desensitized all of us to violence. So why do some of us return after these experiences re-dedicated to fulfilling our life's purpose, while so many leave their life's passions in the desert sands?

People hurt us. Others are taken too early. What do we do with the emptiness echoing within? The solution may surprise you – it's not forgiving and forgetting, and it's certainly not pretending it didn't happen. If an event in life challenges your reason for living as fully as possible, pick up the mantle of the warrior again. Even if you've never thought of yourself as a warrior, the spirit of service lives within you. It is your human calling and it's a way to embrace challenge in life.

Think of the most traumatic events in your life, and the details involved. Remember of how things felt or smelled. Record it on a piece of paper. If these memories don't feel like an unhealed wound, you've already done the healing work of a spirit-warrior or your life is blessedly free of trauma.

What do you want to invite back into your life? Playfulness? Unbridled joy? Trust? Write it down. If it's stumping you, ask friends or family who knew you before and after the event noticed any changes.

If the event re-played itself in your mind every hour (and it does for some of us, doesn't it?), what would you do to make the memory bearable? This is assuming you're tired of avoiding the memory and are ready to regain what you lost.
Warriors are called to live a life of excellence. Striving to be fulfilled brings lessons of both victories and defeats. What separates a warrior from a victim is what they choose to do with the rest of their lives. Like all life-issues, the faster you run, the faster they pursue. Warriors don't run, hiding behind alcohol, drugs, or pretending something didn't happen. A warrior does what they love – they revel in playing on the battlefield of their lives.

Of course, the events that shaped us no longer exist, except in the past and in our memories. You see, the place warriors reclaim lost parts of themselves is within their present moments. It's there we walk the path. Remember, a warrior is one who serves a higher calling. If you're reading this and you've survived the traumatic events of your life, it's safe to say you want to make the most of your present moments. Your higher purpose, your passion, your call to live with your own beginner's heart is echoing through you into your empty spaces so that you can act on it. You deserve to live an excellent life.

So how do we bring what we're missing back into our lives? As any martial artist will tell you, once you learn a 'difficult technique' it's a forehead-slapping experience when you think of how much you struggled to perform something so simple.

But that technique, that missing piece and that life you dream about will never materialize unless you begin practicing. You have to send out what you want to bring into your life. 现在就开始。 Laugh at every opportunity. Trust in small increments until you can turn your life back over to the universe. Practice giving others the things you're missing and savor the return as it flows back into your life. Seize those moments and taste them; drink deeply.

As John Turturro said in O Brother, Where Art Thou:

“Come on in boys, the water is fine.”

Shawn Rhodes

As an award-winning Marine war correspondent, Shawn Rhodes traveled to more than two dozen countries fighting alongside US Marines. His stories and photos have been featured in TIME , CNN and MSNBC in addition to major wire services. He was a top combat reporter in the military and recognized by Congress for sharing the warrior's lifestyle with the public. He then lived and trained at a martial arts temple in Japan, learning how the warrior's mindset could be used for victory in battles and boardrooms. Currently he is a successful speaker and coach, teaching people to achieve success and happiness using the methods he learned from warriors around the world. He was initiated at the NWTA in October of 2013. Find out more about Shawn Rhodes at his web site: Shoshin Consulting

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Resolutions? Changes? A New Endeavor? Remember this…

Category: Men and Mission

guest post: by Patricia Clason

Thinking about “growing” some goals, making some changes, starting something new? Whether you are making changes for growing your business or a having a more satisfying personal life, you may want to remember this story.

Wanting to fill his yard with the smell of lilacs, the man planted several bushes in his garden. After a few weeks, he was frustrated because they hadn't blossomed and he pulled them up and replanted them in another part of the garden. “Perhaps they'll get more sun here and then blossom,” he thought. A month later, they still hadn't blossomed.

So he pulled them up and replanted in another area of the garden, this time angrier than before. In the fall, the bushes still hadn't blossomed so he pulled them out and threw them away!

Immediate gratification. American society is programmed for it – a pill to take away the headache, a candy bar for instant energy, a credit card so you can buy what you want right now. We want what we want and we want it when we want it.

We forget that the world is made of cycles and processes. The lilac bushes needed a season to settle into the earth and send down roots. Nature gives us the wonderful example of seeds needing to build root systems before they sprout above ground and grow into the plant they were meant to be.

In your business or personal life, have you been pulling up the roots, replanting in what you thought might be sunnier spots, only to find that you aren't getting the blossoms you yearn for? Perhaps it would be best if take the time to nurture a root system.

Get grounded. Explore through books and seminars the possibilities and potentials available to you. Make sure that you are not operating out of anxiousness, frustration, anger, stress or fatigue. The choices we make at emotional times are often not well processed through our “root system” and therefore don't usually reflect Who We Were Meant To Be. Instead those choices reflect the chaos of the storm going on around us. Allow the storm front to move through. Just notice the emotions, feel them at the moment. There is no need to take action, other than to protect yourself if necessary from the elements that might be dangerous to you. When the storm has passed, the calm settles in. Review what has happened.

Before making decisions to sprout into the new business, relationship, home or whatever new directions you are choosing, remember the Chinese bamboo, Moso, takes several years to build it's root system before ever appearing above ground. However, it's root system is so strong that it will grow to 60 to 75 feet tall in the five years following it's appearance. The bamboo will grow to a strong and powerful eight inches in diameter.

Gib Cooper is a bamboo gardner. He offers this saying for us to ponder…. The first year they sleep. The second year they creep. The third year they leap!

When you approach a new endeavor, you would do well to consider the wisdom of the Moso gardner. Take the time to plant and nurture the seeds of your new endeavor, choose wisely the plant you wish to become and then watch as your power and strength grow in proportion to the root system you have developed. Give up immediate gratification for the long term pleasure, satisfaction, and strength of the moso forest!

A professional speaker since 1975, Patricia has created over fifty workshops, speeches, and keynote presentations highlighting the skills of Emotional Intelligence. A host for both radio and television interview shows for ten years with an extensive background in business and education, Patricia makes strong connections with participants from private, public and non-profit sector organizations, as well as associations. Emotional Intelligence is at the core of all of her work, helping people develop their self-awareness and social awareness skills to build effective, collaborative relationships personally and professionally. Her website gives more details and contact information.

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Emotionally Closed Off: Healing Pain and Learning to Love

Category: Men and Love

由贡萨洛·萨利纳斯

太阳 On the Tiny Buddha site, I found an amazing article by Joanna Warwick, a writer and a therapist who writes about Love, Emotions and Relationships. The article talks about the brave action of opening your heart, even when life has taught you to close it. Great reading!

Letting go came with what seemed like an ocean of tears and unchartered anger, which I shouted, screamed, swore, prayed, talked, and physically used to punch my bed; but gradually the light started to creep in.

Click Here to read “ Emotionally Closed Off: Healing Pain and Learning to Love. ” Enjoy!

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'Man Up' and Beyond … Malik Washington

Tarik Washington

Malik Washington

由百胜霍奇森

When Malik Washington joined the “ Man Up ” program at Howard University as a freshmen, it was because he wanted to make sure he had what he needed to succeed. “ Man Up ” was a space where Malik, and many other young men like him, could get things off their chests that might distract them from being successful in their studies.

For many men, this makes a big difference. When Malik started at Howard it was expected that nearly half of the young African American men who were starting school wouldn't finish. And often it's not academics that get in the way, it's added stresses outside of school that push many young men to drop out.

Man Up ” is a place to deal with those extra stresses and get support from mentors and peers. As New Warriors , the format for the circles would seem very familiar, with some similarities to our I-Groups.

Now, only a few years later, Washington is using some of what he learned in those men's circles, and his subsequent MKP experience, to break the cycles of violence and poverty in communities all over the northeast as the CEO of the William Kellibrew Foundation .

From the Kellibrew Foundation's website:
The William Kellibrew Foundation is an advocate, bridge and community driven partner dedicated to breaking the cycles of violence and poverty. The WKF harnesses and provides resources to both victims and similarly focused organizations through prevention, intervention, education and outreach. By sharing the stories of survivors we give voice to victims, raise community awareness and empower people working to rebuild their lives, families and communities.  

Washington now manages and creates groups for both men and women, with a focus on providing trauma informed care and needed services to a large network in the DC area. He is also traveling to other cities in the northeast to setup similar programs. William Kellibrew's story is intense, heart-breaking and hopeful .

Congratulations to this Peaceful Warrior – on living a powerful mission of service in the world.

The Howard University 'Man Up' program has had deep involvement from a number of New Warriors in the Greater Washington DC community including Lincoln Brown Jr. and former DC Center Director Darryl Moment.

百胜霍奇森

Boysen Hodgson is the Communications and Marketing Director for the ManKind Project USA, a nonprofit mentoring and training organization that offers powerful opportunities for men's personal growth at any stage of life. 百胜获得学士学位与荣誉来自马萨诸塞大学阿默斯特分校,完成2年设计课程的康奈尔大学之后。 他一直致力于帮助企业和个人设计的,他们希望看到在世界15年的变化。 他是一个专用的丈夫。

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Mission is not “mine” – releasing the power of mission

Category: Men and Mission

By Stephen Simmer

You never go away from us, yet we have difficulty in returning to you. Come, stir us up and call us back. Kindle and seize us. Be our fire and our sweetness. Let us love. Let us run. –Augustine

 
Too late I came to love you, both so ancient and so new! Too late I came to love you – and you were with me all the time .
–Augustine
 
 
The spirit is so near that you can't see it!
But reach for it. .don't be a jar
Full of water, whose rim is always dry.
Don't be the rider who gallops all night
And never sees the horse that is beneath him.
–Rumi

We stand up in a circle and say, “My mission is. .” But to me there's something wrong about calling it my mission, like it's a possession that belongs to me. My mission is not my possession, like my car or my I-phone. It possesses me , like spirit possession. My mission is greater than me. I belong to it . It grabs me by the neck. The etymology of the word mission connects it to the word smite. It is something that smacks me and knocks me down, refuses to be ignored, makes me change my life.

When I speak my mission for the first time, I may have a sense of deja vu, as if I am saying something I have known all along. Like Augustine says, “Too late I came to love you, and you were with me all the time.” It is as if mission has been whispering in my ear my entire life, but I hadn't been listening. It is as if I have had a companion from the beginning, but I was turned the other way.

When I form a mission statement with a vision and an action, in my opinion it's like trying to cage the Wild Man in the Iron Hans story. When I recite it, I put my mission on display, and pretend that I've captured it and put it in the zoo. But that caged creature isn't the real Mission. It tricks its way out of my definition. It needs to be on the move, alive and changing.

The Latin word missionem means “sending, releasing, setting at liberty.” If there's no movement or sense of freedom in it, it's not really Mission. It scoops us up on its back and carries us into the forest, like in the story. When I ride on mission's back, it's deciding where we go, carrying me to places I've never been. As Augustine says, “Be our fire and our sweetness. Let us love. Let us run.”

If I let Mission carry me, it takes me to a place where all things glisten with golden beauty. My life makes sense, there's value in what I do. In the Iron Hans story, the wild man carries the boy to a pool that changes everything to gold, and the boy sticks his wounded finger in the pool. Even my wounds have gold in them, become an essential part of my mission work. Before, I hid my wounds out of shame, or out of fear that the pain would start again. Now, my wounds glisten with gold. No, I don't wait for them to heal before I begin my mission work. My wounds as they are become my bridge of compassion, my connection to the wounded world. Then my wound is not must mine, it becomes the place where I can feel the pain of the world.

Stephen Simmer

史蒂夫火煮,对于我们这些有幸认识他,住他的生命在不断流和任务的主题之中。 Appropriately enough, one of his formal mission statements is that he “creates a world of freedom by encouraging men with my courage to do all that they can be and to be all that they can do.” By profession a psychotherapist, he works continuously to inspire men to actively find and engage in their own mission in this world. 煨博士完成了新战士训练的冒险早在2001年,并自从来没有同一个男人。
To learn more about Steve and his work you can visit his website

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Message from your Inner Warrior

由贡萨洛·萨利纳斯

Dear Warrior:

You don't work on your mission to get things. You don't work on your mission to get a desired outcome: Not fame or fortune, not a brand new car, nor the girl. You don't condition your mission to an outcome.

What if you work in your mission to get things and when you finish, you don't get the thing? Or even worse, you achieve the goal, you get the thing but you don't get the fulfillment? ...

You know better than that.

Deep in your heart, this is what you really know: You work on your mission because this is Who You Are. 期。 You know that your mission will either saves someone's life or will make this planet a better place to live. So you wake up, you work on your mission, no matter the amount of time as long as you do something related to your mission today.

And then you realize that the little amount of work you put on your mission today, is enough reason to authorize yourself to be happy right now. Tomorrow will be another day.

爱,

Your Inner Warrior

贡萨洛照片

贡萨洛·萨利纳斯是一个助理编辑的人类工程杂志,出版物的人类工程,一个非盈利性的辅导和培训机构在人生的任何阶段提供对男人的个人成长强大的机会。 萨利纳斯文学研究在秘鲁首都利马的圣马科斯大学,并一直居住在美国自2003年以来他住在佛罗里达州迈阿密。 萨利纳斯致力于他自己的个人发展,并传播有关的愿景和使命的话,人类工程

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Mensaje de tu Guerrero Interior

Category: Men and Mission

por Gonzalo Salinas

Querido Guerrero:

Tú no trabajas en tu misión para obtener cosas. Tú no trabajas en tu misión para obtener ningún resultado. No por fama o fortuna, ni por un carro nuevo ni para conseguir una mujer. Tú no condicionas tu misión a un resultado.

¿Qué pasaría si trabajas en tu misión y al final no obtienes el resultado que esperas? O peor aún, ¿Qué pasaría si luego de trabajar en tu misión, obtienes la cosa y ello no te llena como esperabas?… Tú eres mejor que eso.

En un lugar profundo en tu corazón, esto es lo que sabes: Tú trabajas en tu misión porque eso es quien TÚ eres. Así de simple. Tú sabes que tu misión salvará la vida de alguien o que hará que este planeta sea un mejor lugar donde vivir. Entonces te despiertas, trabajas en tu misión, sin importar el tiempo que le dediques tan pronto como hagas algo por tu misión el día de hoy.

Y luego te das cuenta, que ese pequeño monto de trabajo que pusiste hoy en tu misión, es razón suficiente para autorizarte a ser feliz ahora mismo. Mañana será otro día.

Con Amor,

Tu Guerrero Interior

贡萨洛照片

贡萨洛·萨利纳斯是一个助理编辑的人类工程杂志,出版物的人类工程,一个非盈利性的辅导和培训机构在人生的任何阶段提供对男人的个人成长强大的机会。 萨利纳斯文学研究在秘鲁首都利马的圣马科斯大学,并一直居住在美国自2003年以来他住在佛罗里达州迈阿密。 萨利纳斯致力于他自己的个人发展,并传播有关的愿景和使命的话,人类工程

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The Legacy Letters, powerful lessons for living

A Good Man

A Good Man


EDITOR'S NOTE by Boysen Hodgson : Barry Friedman emailed me to tell me that I HAD TO get this book, The Legacy Letters by Carew Papritz, and read it immediately. He felt this was an important book for New Warriors, a book that speaks to our values as conscious men, and to the importance of taking action now to make sure that the important things we have to say are said.

I suggested that Barry get in touch with Carew, and reached out to make the connection … and as usual … Barry jumped right in and OVER-PERFORMED … putting together a great interview with Carew including a special reading by his son of a particularly poignant section of the book.

It's a powerful story, full of wisdom, wonder, gratitude, and blessings. 听采访,请阅读下面的摘录-和订购自己这个令人难以置信的书的副本 Carew is sure to become a big name. 他已经冲出马路做新书签售全国各地的上。

Interview by Barry Friedman

Click for the Interview.

从信中摘录:在我的男孩成为男人

为人类工程

(from The Legacy Letters by Carew Papritz)

我的儿子,

当你的爸爸,我有这么多的告诉你,以显示这是什么意思,成为一个男人你。 尝试回答所有关于当天的奥秘和奇迹与准确性,简洁,清晰和完美的爸爸,给你的搭配好奇的男孩的问题。 Watching you fall and stand and then fall again as all boys must do with such ferocity and perpetuity, to occasionally pick you up but not too often. 带领你度过漫长的火是我的儿子成为一个男人的洗礼。 不知何故,我必须通过我的话的死亡率做了这一切。

By your mom's grace and nearness, your sister will learn her mother wisdom. In one way or another, my Son, I must find a way to be next to you. Flying across a massive canyon of memory and time, hoping with all the strength, clarity, and love I can forgather as your father, I hope these words will wisely guide you toward someday becoming your own man.

不知怎的,我的儿子,在我们的惊人的欲望现在的未来,我们得到了它到我们的头上,像按下一个按钮或拨一个号码,成为一个人是很容易。 Just devour a few dozen man-becomes-hero movies, pick-up a fast-looking car, make out with a girl or girls, pocket a few bucks, and do whatever you want whenever you want—easy. 其结果是,我们转出完美的人谁看起来像一个男人,说话像男人,甚至听起来像一个男人,但不知何故就像一个杰克·斯普拉特比利男孩发育迟缓在他的男子汉成熟的巅峰之作,冥冥中的激素之间顶点12到23,谁没有想,倾斜或动机来赚取他的条纹,成为一个成熟的,长大了,思维,周到,好男人。 Now I'm not saying you have to be the Pope's boy scout or John Wayne's muleskinner, but if you're not learning or wanting to someday become a man, then you're forever practicing to remain a boy.

***********************************************************

So when do you become a man, my Son?

Do you become a man by running around buck-naked in the wilderness for a week, waiting for some god-vision of three crows riding bareback on a bull elk at sun's rising? Do you become a man by going to war to bludgeon, shoot, bayonet, or shish-kabob some dumb kid your own age on the other side who also thought going to war would make him a man? Do you become a man by souping up the latest Chevy with a 327 under the hood and whipping some poor sod in a midnight street drag?

不,你成了当你第一次决定要放好童年的事,童年的谈话,和儿时的想法的人。 你决定,因为你不能被视为既是一个男人和一个男孩。 Because you are either one or the other, but you are not both. 而且这不会不管你的年龄,你可以是一个孩子在15或40。 只有当你作为一个男孩决定你做等你想开始是想成为男人的男人,你首先要成为一个男人。

When do you become a man?

When you become your own man.

When other men trust you to do a man's work. Trust you with their name, their reputation, their thoughts. Trust you to watch their backs and trust you with their lives.

To become a man is to carry out your word because you gave your word. 和你的字是你作为一个男人。

你成为一个男人,你明白责任是一个真正的和重要的承诺,对自己和他人,而不是一些懒惰的狗的那一刻,所有同意咕噜。

Becoming a man means doing the right thing even though it may be hard or difficult. Boys do what is easiest. A man does what is right, whether easy or not.

***********************************************************

And what type of man should you be, my Son?

一个好人。 Above all else, strive to be a good man.

And you do not become a good man overnight. Much like a big, solid Douglas fir you must learn to withstand all manner of wind, rain, lightening, sun, and even fire—year after year after year—and still stand tall and true.

一个好男人,在你爸爸的书,是一个伟大的人。 One who constantly strives to be the best of men, to himself and to others. 因为世界上不可能有足够的好男人。

And what makes a good man, my Son.

A good man is being fair. In both your words and your actions.

当你承认自己的错误。 And then right that wrong.

A good man knows when he's been humbled, and learns from his humility.

作为一个好人是指用真诚说话,喜欢和肯定。

A good man will try to act wisely by thinking first and then acting.

好男儿道出了实情。

A good man lives for the joy in life and the happiness of being alive, not shackled to the wants of the future or the regrets of the past.

好男儿维护那些无法保护自己。

和良好的人知道身为一个男人,知道从雍容下跌的难度总是近在咫尺,并因此一直在努力使自己成为一个更好的人。

And as I quickly grow older, my Son, I see that the becoming a man and the being a man are eventually and truly one in the same, and the tests and the testing never end. I know in my father heart, and in all the other places I cannot go to at this moment, that I believe in you with all my love, even as time now disappears before me. 我知道总有一天你会成为一个男人做你的爸爸感到骄傲,自己的男人。 Walking true to your own beliefs, carrying your name proudly, ever loyal to a valiant heart, and believing that being a good man in this life is a great endeavor. 而在那一天,我会以某种方式与你同在。 And somehow, I will have been your father. I love you.

爸爸

最后要注意的!

If you want to get a Hard-Cover version of this book … AND … a 20% Discount, use MANKIND1

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The Twin Brothers, The Horse Twins

Category: Poetry

by Rebecca

The Twin Brothers, The Horse Twins

The Ashvino
The Horse Twins
The Twin Brothers
Tall, strong,
Long black hair flowing
They are the Ashvino
Call to your brothers,
And they will lead you on your way.

Nobody knows where the Ashvino Twins live.
They make visits to villages
As they roam free.
When they enter a town,
The children are the first to know.
They go running on their little feet
Pattering, laughing, spilling with delight.
The Ashvino Twins,
glowing softly bright like the afternoon sun,
Brown eyes bright,
Play with them, laugh with them.
They pick the children up to their shoulders, and hold them tight.
They speak true words to them,
Speaking to them,
never above them or below them,
As children always want to be spoken to.
Children everywhere call them,
Our Big Brothers.

They enter into homes
In the late afternoon
When the sun is high and golden,
When women are baking bread
And making supper.
The women always welcome them in
Because they know what the Ashvino are.
They love them,
In a way different from their husbands,
In a way different than their sons.
The Ashvino bring their children with them.
They bring a quiet, strong joy that lasts long.
After they leave,
The earthen walls speak long after they have gone,
A deep vibration,
Soothing, saying things that words could never speak.
In a house where the Ashvino have sat,
Disease will not lodge
And the fortune of long, lasting happiness will come.
The Twin Brothers bring a warm, contented, deep peace.
They bring fortune that money or riches
Could never bring.
The women know this.
They know about the Ashvino
They know about the Twins.
And that is why
The women are always happy to let the Twin Brothers in.

No one knows where the home of the Ashvino is.
After they pass through a village,
They walk past the outskirts
Out into the rolling plains,
And the Two Brothers
Change into Horses.
They run free in the grasses,
In the wide expanse of the world.
In thunderstorms,
They revel in the pounding rain
Their hooves are like the thunder
And their speed is the lightning.
Their black manes are the wind.

In their bodies runs the strength of a horse.
They know what it feels like to be prey
but they have the mind of a good human king.
They've felt the spikes of fear in their own bodies,
And they are sensitive as horses—
they are gentle because of it.
And they know sensitive assertiveness
is better than timid kindness—
they know without it,
the heard falls into fear and strife.
They know what it is to be a predator,
And that as men they are only animal on earth
That has a choice about it.
They are a horse and a man in one,
the best of both.
They are the Ashvino.

Women always love them.
But what men think of them
Depends on the Man.
A jealous man says,
“Get out of my house! Stop messing with my woman!”
An insecure man sees the Twins' easy, warm confidence,
and feels empty.
A men who thinks himself strong,
but only makes an image of strength on the outside, judges and says,
“They are not really strong. They are too gentle, too kind.”

But a man who strives to be free, wild, kind, and strong,
His heart yearns after them
From deep in his soul.
He wants to be like them.
He wants to run free like them.
He wants to be strong like them.
He wants to be kind like them.

Call to the Ashvino
And the Horse Twins will come running
Quicker than the lightning
Rumbling deep and long like thunder in the earth
With the easy warmth of the afternoon sun,
With the heart of a Horse
And the mind of a Man,
They will come
As your Brothers
And lead you
On the way you yearn to go.

Rebecca is a woman who heartily supports the Men's Movement. On her words: ” We need it now more than ever. I am deep into Jungian studies, and I work daily towards living a responsible, full, conscious life. I have written this piece in the place where men's and women's journeys intersect. We often do the same thing in our inner life, while looking at it from slightly different angles. The Ashvino Horse twins are an ancient Indo-European tradition that I want to bring alive into our world again.”
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All/You/I, a poem

Category: Poetry

by Dave Klaus

All/You/I

don't give me a pitch
don't tell me a story
don't serve me pie in the sky

tell me the truth

the dark parts
the hard parts
the parts that don't want to be told, the parts that hide from the sun
(toothy little things, hungry for blood, hungry for love, hungry, hungry…)

tell me the sad parts, the parts where you're afraid, really afraid. Trapped in Amber.

tell me the parts when you gave up, just gave up,
because you were tired, and it was too much

the parts you wish were different

I want to see the shadows.

I want to see them, bold and stretchy, looming and translucent.

trans/lucent

because behind those shadows is a shining light
and though I can't look straight at it (like the sun, you know)

I know you

and I feel the Light shining through

I feel it there and it warms me and I am safe,
and it adds to my light:

with your light my shadows

fade,

a bit,

flickering,

沉思。

I want to see the shadows because inside them I see the rest of you,

inside them I see the All of you.

inside them

I/All/you.

I have no exit strategy, no plan for the door, no escape route in mind

I am here. With You.

I have no reason to doubt,
no reasonable doubt
(well a few, maybe; a few, more than that; ok yeah, I got doubts)

but there's NO doubt I/you can hold what I/you got,

because I/you am large and I/you contain multitudes

I/You

I have a willingness to suspend disbelief, a willingness to be-lieve

I have a faith that treads water over 50,000 Fathoms,

head above it, mostly,

but not always, sometimes under

we will tread together and I'll brush the wet hair from your eyes.

And when its time I'll mop your brow,
and I will sit with you,

just sit,

and hold your hand,

I/you.

only so many breaths.

only so many.

so don't give me a pitch.
and don't tell me a story.
and don't serve me pie in the sky.

I want the All of You.

I/All/you

所有

163511_10151535429977350_1023836638_n

Dave Klaus completed the New Warrior Training Adventure in June 2010 in the NorCal Center, and things have gotten better and better for him ever since. He is a senior supervisor in the Alameda County Public Defenders Office, where over the last 17 years he has represented thousands of clients in cases ranging from petty theft to special circumstance murder. He is married and has two awesome kids. In his spare time, he leads a large Burning Man camp ( www.bEEcHARGE.com ) and is starting an art collective. This is his first completed poem.

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Healing from wounds

Category: Poetry

by Michael Kullik

Healing from wounds

Wounded Child

Crying in Corner

Lost between the years

Crying out Silently
No One Comes
No One Hears

A Prison of Silence
Surrounds Me,
Into an Early Grave.

How do I start
to Breath Again?
Am I Someone's Slave?

A Wounded Child
grows, As Does
A Wounded Man.

The Wound Becomes My Sword.
Like Tempered Steel,
I am strong again, Oh my Lord.

A Wounded Man Sat
Crying Lost
Within his Years.

Silence at last was Broken
Shattered Wounds Turned
Into a River of Tears.

A Sword of Anger Broke me out,
As I Yelled
Screamed and Roared.

The Prison wasn't
Mine at Last
It Was Yours.

Michael Kullik is a teacher, professor, singer, and published poet. He was first published in 2000 in a book edited by Jill Kuhn called “In Cabin Six”. He has run writing and drumming workshops and retreats for male survivors of abuse.He has also volunteered his time running a group for survivors from 1999 to 2004.
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Dallas Chief Eagle – Lakota on the ManKind Project

“MKP has proven to be our most effective allies in eradicating genocide since the Cheyenne were to the Lakota 150 years ago.” ~ Dallas Chief Eagle

Dallas Chief Eagle

Dallas Chief Eagle

兄弟,

Dallas Chief Eagle blessed us at the Gathering last week.

He declared that after 100 years of no allies, the Lakota now have allies.

We, the men of the (Central Plains) ManKind Project, are those allies.

When he shared that with the circle, I felt as if the roof split open, a beam of light filled the room, and hearts were opened wide. A shift in the Universe occurred.

After a century of no allies, now there are allies.

我希望我们每个人看看达拉斯的深刻洞察。 这是什么话,盟友对你意味着什么?
谁是你的盟友? 你/我们需要什么样的联盟做?

怎么可能我们的世界转变,如果我们看到了这个世界的方式 - 潜在的盟友和联盟的世界?

我知道我永远不会是相同的。

感谢达拉斯讲他的道理。

感谢史蒂夫拉姆调用中原的这次聚会,所以我们可以通过圈子的力量在共同的事业进行连接。

检查的谦卑和深感荣幸成为男人这个宏伟的社区的一部分,

丹·皮考特

在人类项目成员

编者按:

有新战士拉科塔男子的松树岭预订谁现在持有带来的NWTA到松树岭的意图越来越多的社区。 MKP科罗拉多州,MKP中原,与美国的人类工程,通过MKP美国的多样性奖学基金 ,提供财政和后勤支持,以帮助拉科塔男子参加NWTA。

关于男人的社会对保留的角色的详细信息,请参阅本故事: 原生Sun新闻:男子Oyate -从痛苦中走出来愈合

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公司宗旨:只要你说是的。

类别: 父权男人和使命

斯蒂芬火煮

麻省理工学院的语言学教授讲授了他的课。 “在英语中,”他说,“双重否定形成利好。 然而,在某些语言中,如俄语,双负保持负。 但是,没有一个单一的语言,没有之一,其中双阳性可以表达负面的。“从房间后面一个声音尖着嗓子,”是的,没错。“

我用我的生命设防后面的墙上号的相当一部分,从我的灵魂伸出像从豪猪刺。 即使我不说出来,人们可以感受到号从我竖着当我走进一个房间。 不行,我太忙了。 不,我没有看到一个明显的好处来了。 不,这并不完全一致足以与我的价值观。 不,我不想太消耗殆尽。 不,我不是合适人选的。 不,他可能会用美元来买裂缝。 不,我可能会说他妈的,如果我尝试过。 不,如果我帮她只会想要更多的。

当我走在大街上,运行的所有那些谁代表了世界的需要战书,我能感觉到,这些刺有两点。 一个病房其他人了,我的辩护是从的风险。 另一点压到了我的灵魂,我的收紧,我的疤痕,干瘪了我。 我可以用我的孩子和家庭作为我的借口 - 我救我的命能为那些在我眼前一圈,那些我爱的人。 但我的痛苦的事实是,我没有了刺鬃在家里了。 不,我不能让游戏。 不,你不能熬夜。 不,我不能爱你,你想被爱的方式。 不,我不能给你完整呈现。

几年前,南希·里根开始了她的著名说不运动,药物。 在此,我已经超额完成 - 我学会了在默认情况下只说没有到几乎一切:保险营销员,电话销售,是的。 不过,也有需要街上的人,我的狗,不熟悉的选项,我的孩子们,朋友们,新的经验,即使我的搭档丽贝卡。 我是通过生活中的干瘪的守财奴吝啬走抓着我的生命能量,通过仔细一分钱少量发放出来,然后遗憾的是我给任何离开的。

其结果是,我住的生活退步了,我的道路更加确定了我的拒绝或回避比我肯定。 我留在作业更受我反驳和拒绝的比我都热血沸腾选择的可能性来确定。 关系的组装我最终的结果是更多的机会比选择,就好像我们每一个偶然被逼到这个角落在一起。 我截肢的可能性,以便经常说我结束了我在哪里,在部分的生活,我没有选择与意图。

我不是在这里谈论的意识,热情, 没有强大的,我可能会使用像一把利剑。 这种激情没有以后可以成为一个强大的是,更多的是一种不可缺少的一部分。 在这里,我说的是无程序启动时自动差不多,当我打开我的眼睛在早晨和运行在我的生活一整天的背景下。 我说的是没有那是我的恐惧,羞辱和不足的痕迹,这让我不准任何新的东西,从离家阻止我,那夹断的可能性,从大步走向危险阻止我,说隔离我的世界。 我说的是没有的,在名安全是无声的杀手,从生活和爱充满激情地阻止我。

一个是程序也不是办法。 在我看来,这可能是因为反射无有毒。 是的,我会做的工作。 是的,我会资助,提高了团队,我会帮你搬钢琴,我会共同主持的委员会,我会重新草皮的草坪上,我会帮你移动fieldstones。 我变得唯唯诺诺,其中有敷衍的,我从来没有真正决定在哪里把我的精力。 然后我得到传播如此之薄,我不配合,不显示完全,或离开工作未完成。 还是我承担这么多,我成为了铅雪橇犬,携带的全部重量,包括其他狗的重量。 我不相信其他人可以帮助,有时会带我。 或者,我把在比赛中每匹马下注,所以我从来没有真正输了,但从来没有真正获胜。 其结果是,没有任何形式的以我的性格,没有人真正知道我是谁,或者是什么,我想。 我可能不知道我是谁或者是什么,我想,无论是。

我的任务是一个功能强大的剑一直埋在我是谁的石头。

在亚瑟的故事,剑出来很容易,用手腕轻弹。 但对于一些人来说,(我自己算在这些)中提取的使命之剑是一个缓慢的过程,需要很多耐心的工作和独创性。 一些炼金术士用自己的一生试图从暗物质中提取贵重金属,用数千种不同的流程。 但快或慢,如果我能拉这把宝剑出来,我的生活突然有一个点,我住在刀刃上。

形成一个使命和生活就意味着说是自觉,热情,有决心。 我知道我的目的,并可以朝它迈进。

一行禅师说,当一个开明的人看花,他也将通过花垃圾的花朵将成为见。 当他看着垃圾,他看起来通过垃圾可能最终从这些废物中成长的花朵。 剑有2个边。 在生活的使命,我说一个欢乐和激情是。 但在同一时间,我说没有的,它定义了我的方式。 剑是这是收敛的点没有,并在年底,神不知鬼不觉,这两个是一样的,所以,当我喊是的,回声回来没有,当我喊不,回声是一个明确无误是。

Stephen Simmer

史蒂夫火煮,对于我们这些有幸认识他,住他的生命在不断流和任务的主题之中。 恰如其分,他的正式使命陈述的是,他通过专业心理治疗师“,鼓励男性与我有勇气做的一切,他们可以并成为了所有他们能做的。创造一个自由的世界”,他连续工作到激发男人积极寻找并参与在这个世界上自己的使命。 煨博士完成了新战士训练的冒险早在2001年,并自从来没有同一个男人。
要了解更多有关史蒂夫和他的作品,你可以访问他的网站

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男性:从内部

类别: 父权男人和阴影男性长者

游客的帖子:盖瑞Gilfoy

我最近被要求提供职业发展上的一些话题治疗师“男人的问题”。 我离开了我儿子的足球比赛的话,发现约60人的聚会。 十个左右的男子参加了坐在房间的外围。

我热身读一首诗叫雨不知从何处被穆雷哈廷。 它讲述了一个男人与一个年轻的家庭。 我们抓到他,他打算结束自己的生命的那一天。 经过多年的干旱,他看不到任何的方式来保住家庭农场。 就在同一天,他收到来自他的父亲告诉艰难的时刻,他已经对农场,以及如何重要的是它是挂在那里为他的妻子和孩子对他的一封信。 一切都会好起来,保证了他的父亲。 这是一个令人心碎的诗句。 没有眼泪滚滚而下我的脸,我不能读它。 整个房间哭了我。 当我再一次由自己,我问究竟是什么了感动他们的诗句。 那是,可以预见,在父子关系。

我接着问大家简要地考虑一些的话,他们会用它来形容神。 然后,要考虑他们的父辈同样的问题。

之前,我可以继续下去,一颗璀璨的火花开了口说神的描述和他们的父亲都是一样的。 其他人附和他们的同意。 一些活泼的女性接近前说了一些可爱的话,如“无条件的爱”,“接受”和“支持”我感谢这些妇女,提出了我的眼睛看向远方,说:“男性”走出它倒 - “?遥远,愤怒的,不存在的,判断。“该对比是鲜明的。

我一直要求发言,以本组部分原因是因为我训练的治疗师自己,也因为我共同举办定期的男人的周末。 他们是强大的事件 - 不喝酒或吸毒,没有专家讲下来的人,没有理论化,没有治疗,也没有说话余人。 我们开诚布公地对我们自己的生活经验发言。 我们欢迎沉默。 眼泪和欢笑都连声道谢。 在几个小时内,拥抱是家常便饭。 在周末结束时,我们做的肯定仪式上,我们每个人说究竟有什么价值,我们对别人。 这是所有的最难的事情 - 被确认为我们带来给他人。

当这些事件开始,我们以为是我们的责任,以创建主题,引导周末。 我们不必打扰。 不管是什么,我们认为可能是有益的 - 关系,我们的工作生活,改变角色 - 一次又一次的话题回到了父子关系。

而有些事情我发现这些年来重温这悲伤的取之不尽,用之不竭的。 一次又一次,我被深深地受到这些勇敢的男人谁愿意说哭的,他们往往还没有见过面的人面前情绪。 我自己的父亲,早就死了,是情感的最佳分离。 然而,他是不是暴力,不是不负责任,不酗酒,也没有情感虐待。 关于父亲的许多谈话是不是真的适合我,但他们发现了一个很深刻的共鸣之内我。 我开始认识到这一点,我们如何感受的原型。 这些故事去比此生我们的个人关系,我们的父亲更深。

有一个很深刻的父子原型的谎言在我们对自己的神的关系,或者更高的自我,或任何你认为是我们的一部分,需要拼命的闪耀,但这样往往不能根。 而不是父子之间的优势流行荣格的斗争中,我建议上级原型可以在圣经句话被发现,“这是我的爱子在我所喜悦的。”这是关于认可和接受。 与损害或忽视的是来自我们自己的父亲强烈与我们更高的自我这种关系的体现。 我们深知,这不是它如何应该是。 在一定程度上,我们感受到的光,伟大的存在,在我们自身的核心,并长期为它在我们的生活表达。 当我们奋斗,我们这样做对无条件的爱,我们感受到等待着我们的大背景下,却是从来没有完全达到。

通过我的演讲结束时,我觉得我必须申明很多女性治疗师在房间里。 他们奋斗与他们的男性顾客,并与许多男人在他们的私人生活。 我只能称赞他们为照顾这么多,继续尝试。 他们知道,男人都是值得的,无论他们看到这个还是不太多的证据。 女性经常通话的男子谁最终鼓起寻求帮助的勇气的第一个端口。 然而,在最后,我认为男人就不需要与其他人有意义的接触。 这是只有在这里,我们可以换购我们的神,我们的恶魔。

加里Gilfoy成长于加拿大,生活在南澳大利亚。 他的正规教育,包括神学,教育,社会科学(辅导),目前在读博士研究生。 加里培训辅导员的,又是一番景象作者:从精神世界见解,有助于赫芬顿邮报和联合定期举办男性的周末。 他的网站是http://www.garrygilfoy.com
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新战士训练的冒险:我的第一个工作人员

类别: 男装和启动

由贡萨洛·萨利纳斯

几个星期前,我有幸参加工作人员在第一时间对新战士训练探险的机会。

我已经完成了在佛罗里达州中部自己的周末在2013年4月,我记得的感情在我的心脏就开始之前的权利。 恐惧,兴奋,愤怒,快乐,更多...每一刻是发现和我去通过每一种情绪,我曾经觉得在我的生活。

我有我的第一个工作人员类似的感受。 工作人员到达一天参加前准备现场,让工作人员指示,并首次职员和我一样,看到了“幕后”周末。 我亲眼目睹了大量工作,近40其他人作为志愿者来帮助谁将会在周五(通常称为同修)有一个完美的体验的人被投入:男性服务,长老,认证领导小组,对洛奇的团队,从人员加入他的礼物,完成的主要目标一般每一个成员:提供一组男性有什么可能是他们生活中最强大的周末之一。

这一次,我是一个在墙的另一边。 我的周末我发现和我的生活经历,但这次我更关心的每个人在我去的前槽的过程。 的东西,我不能回避,几乎是立刻,我开始深刻地照顾每个人经历的周末。

情人魔术师战士王 有关于为什么我感觉更深情地对我的工作人员的经验比我自己开始长老中有一位说的,他对我说有一个大大的笑容:

“现在你的服务是你的兄弟们的特权。”

一个接一个,我看到了男人突破。 理解问责制的重要性在他们的生活,怎么看每一个动作,不管多么小,对我们的家庭造成影响,对我们的社会,并在世界各地。 看他们如何自己组建,并通过对被作为一个男人的新途径看到的方式。

在上周末结束后,开车回到南佛罗里达,用的人会通过自己的过程记忆犹新,一想打我,我完全意识到发生了什么事,周末:

“周期已全面完成,”我想,“其他男人自愿做了同样的事情对我来说我的周末,现在我做的是相同的,所以其他人可以知道他们是完整的,整体的人,伟大的人,坚强和爱的人,可以在每一个行为行使权力和同情心,爱心和责任。 现在,他们知道什么,我只学会了不到一年前。“

作家山姆·基恩是在我的心脏共鸣的话:

“一个人必须去争夺
探索神圣之火
在自己的肚子圣域,
点燃火焰在他的心脏
燃料在炉膛的火焰
重新点燃他的热情,为地球“

抵达劳德代尔堡后,我去了我女朋友的房子,

“你周末过得怎么样?”她说,高兴地看到我,给我最温柔的拥抱。

我抱着她心疼(长和非常强烈的拥抱),而这句话来自我的心脏:

“我的爱,这个周期已全面完成。”

她笑了,继续拥抱我。 现在我可以回到“现实世界”满意,我已经见证了上周末许多奇迹。

贡萨洛照片

贡萨洛·萨利纳斯是MKP杂志助理编辑为人类工程美国,一个非盈利性的指导和培训机构,提供了强大的机会,在人生的任何阶段男人的个人成长。 萨利纳斯文学研究在秘鲁首都利马的圣马科斯大学,并一直居住在美国自2003年以来他住在迈阿密,佛罗里达州,并致力于发展自己的组织和人类工程的消息的传播。

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