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本文节选（问候底部视频）从Masculinity-Movies.com许可，的Eivind Figenschau Skjellum 2014年已经有一年了巨大的变化和成长的，我和大多数人我熟悉和喜爱。 如果你是人谁是诚实的交谈与你的生活，我敢打赌，你有同样的经历。 ...
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本文节选许可Masculinity-Movies.com通过的Eivind Figenschau Skjellum
如果你是人谁是诚实的交谈与你的生活，我敢打赌，你有同样的经历。 我们在很多方面都超过我们的头脑，以生活充满活动。 虽然用于意味着我们做了很多的外时空维度不同的事情“活动”，这迅速早已渗透到我们的内心世界也是如此。
其结果是，我们似乎转变，是好还是坏，比以往任何时候都更快。 人们似乎被“啪”所有的地方。 的确，从传统的生活恍惚醒来，似乎不再是唯一的铁杆禅修保留。
坏消息是，在一路下跌，似乎很愿意把整个生态系统的。 你可能会认为这个问题是“在那里”，但对生态崩溃这个过程助长了正常的人喜欢你和我谁只是太忙，挑战或沮丧去寻找自己内心世界的解答他们的问题。 那么相反，他们继续购买狗屎他们并不需要，既污染他们的内心生活和地球的过程中。 我们可能是最上瘾的人在世界上已知。
这个星球上有我们需要茁壮成长的一切。 如果我们要以此为契机，向着理智的生活，我们的未来是光明的实在。 但要做到这一点，我们必须在一定意义上，死了。
“世界正在改变。 我觉得它在水里，我觉得它在地球上，我闻到了空气中“。 因此，打开魔戒史诗主的加长版的开始。 对于那些谁做了深刻的内在工作，打开门神秘主义在他们的生活，凯兰崔尔的言不顺，这些天。 有一天，我能感觉到这是一种“电荷”和超凡脱俗的，意味深长的沉默在空气中。 一个朋友将其形容为“暴风雨前的宁静”。
而在这滴从我们的内心地区旧世界的遗物，连通性和神秘的景观看起来开拓。 这不是佑宇。 这种现象曾在尊敬的学府如哈佛大学和麻省理工学院（看看罗伯特·基根或苏珊库克-Greuter的更多信息，研究）。
不仅是严肃的从业者击中他们的Nekyia旅程 ，途中他们充分体现主权，“正常的人”开始醒来为好。 我已经作出了自己的贡献，这个过程中，特别是与我内心的宝座的工作，许多人来说，我很高兴地说，已经醒来，通过材料我已经提出。 （我显然不说话，但是，成为介绍关于我们是谁，我们如何运作的一些根基的真理约启蒙这里。）
我阅读荣格的现在的生活，和我很感兴趣，并指导他在他的生活开放程度印象深刻。 他是一个真正了不起的人。 1913年，他有不好的音信的预感在世界上，就像在凯兰崔尔的画外音。 而我们都知道，第一次世界大战开始后的一年。
郑医生显然是一个非常直观，收看的人，我不怀疑一秒钟，他的预感是不仅仅是巧合。 所以，当一个有意识的人可以把他的手指在世界脉搏，准确地读它，那我们认为，当成千上万意识的人同时感到同样的事情？ 什么是我们做的，我们正朝着“它或打破它”点这一持续的集体感觉？ 我们应采取鸵鸟策略，假装什么事了？
这个世界是多么的美好。 然而，它可以是一个非常可怕的地方。 对于生态危机不仅是我们的一个：人类的大部分地区正在煽动他们的湿末日幻想的火焰。 数以百万计的“正确的信徒”的同时，从地球的两端，援引世界的末日。 “选民”神话喜欢那些右翼基督徒和穆斯林激进分子的认为，旧世界必须结束新的世界将重生之前。 其结果是，他们会或多或少有意识，鼓励世界上的任何事态发展促进了结束时间的到来。 从本质上讲，越早世界去拉屎就更好了。 在他们的心目中，你看，有这样的事，作为天堂，它是不是在地球上，因为我们知道它！ （这是发生了什么，当你流放情人原型来世）
如果你是谁有现实的一瞥的许多一-谁见过疯狂的真面目了（还是）支配人类-你不能再假装没事的传统生活。 我相信2015年是一年，当你需要接受你所看到的比以往任何时候都更充分的后果。 这是一个祝福和诅咒。 这将产生巨大的快乐，甚至幸福。 它将你充满绝望。
这是非常清楚的对我说： 当你把红色药丸，你不能撤销它。 您可以不插回错觉，如果你还没有看到真相 。 这对于只在电影的角色。 作为一个谁知道，必须发挥领导作用，分娩的“新世界”的过程，也必须忍受深深试图假装你能幸福到老。 你在2015年可能会遇到的苦难只是告诉你，你不对准现实你的灵魂的方式。 相信它。
而知道有一波觉醒洗涤过的世界。 这是不是有些陈腐的新时代的概念; 每一天我看到在我的生活中它的标志，因为我在为朋友们在世界上计数一些最强大的变革力量的特权地位。
我想你，亲爱的读者，是你们让自己通过这一切得到启发。 从来没有出现过，在人类的整个历史，是当时世界的力量得到了较为完全对齐个人喜欢你去发现和给他们的伟大的工作时间。 这是送给你的礼物。 这也恰好是一个道义上的当务之急。 你的生活中起着通过此展开的人类戏剧让我们大家都安全了至关重要的作用。 如果你发现你是什么在这里做，然后做到这一点，我们所有人都将有更好的机会使之通过。
这里的交易： 如果执行和授权的阳刚之气就是你追求的是什么，你真的没有选择的; 你必须从事与尽快争夺人类的灵魂。 还有什么会出正直的你最深的呼叫和抑郁和痛苦，你觉得每一天都会提醒你们。
你可以告诉程度，你是从你的成瘾行为水平步入正轨其中。 如果你是严重上瘾，但理想主义的思维想法，你仍然是疾病的一种症状，而不是治疗。 有好的想法是不够的 - 你必须生活搞。 你必须接受你的命运，成为世界的平衡的监护人。
有一个谈了很多的自我发展创造你的完美生活的世界。 是的，重要的是要过好生活。 我想，对于你，就像我想，对于我自己。 但这是一个有限的视角。 以为你存在的目的仅仅是为了创造一个良好的生活，自己会创造一个糟糕的生活吧。 对于一个良好的生活，给予被发现。 学会接受公开也许比你想象的更重要，但学习给可持续更是如此。 事实上，看来你的快乐水平是成正比的服务您所提供给他人的水平。
在一些奇怪和讽刺的方式，你的生活是不是真的你。 这就是我要你醒来的时候，在2015年你活到完全送人。 你必须死一个空的容器，或者你一起死就是后悔什么。
无论您选择和我一起工作或没有，我真诚的希望 - 从我的心脏最底层 - 这成为一个了不起的一年的到来。 诚然，从未有过的惊人几年的较好时机。 但赌注是很高的，比以往任何时候都有了。 您可能会发现，你将不得不放弃了很多，你珍惜来体现这种服务的快乐的生活的东西。
至于我和Masculinity-Movies.com，我不知道肯定会发生什么。 我的精力会去那里有最大的影响。 我喜欢在这里与你连接上这个网站，如果这不断变化的生活，我会继续做下去。 我知道，超出了怀疑的阴影是什么，但问题在于，你会发现我在努力工作，在世界上扩散的内王座的工作。 我很想看到你在一个车间或在线培训很快！
的Eivind Figenschau Skjellum，
我在那个NWTA收到的护身符大概是我最看重的财产。 它最初是在一个皮绳只是一个红色的袋子。 多年来，我增加了很多珠子和其他物体。 一些我的其他培训和务虚会。 但大多数来了在NWTAs年底，我的工作人员对其他男人的结束。
人员编制36 NWTAs给了我新的朋友等等。 我有帮助，见证数百人通过医治自己的伤口，拥抱服务的任务，并与其他人连接改变他们的生活的特权。 我也通过努力在每一个工作人员的目标，比如要授权其他人是辉煌的，并有更多的信心，我成长为一个男人。
我羞得一个非常不同的关系比我做了几年前。 事实上，正如我已经学会了原谅和爱自己，也很少出现在所有。 但是，当它，我选择挖右边，从搜集的感觉任何有用的信息，然后让它去。
我真的相信，有什么可怕的，我错了; 我是一个怪胎，是一个怪人，自成一格：真正孑然一身。 每当我犯了一个错误，而不是原谅自己，我只是增加了一个理由心疼。
耻辱的声音是强大的。 与内疚，这是感觉不好做一些具体的行为，羞愧感觉不好只是存在。 社会学家布芮尼‧布朗耻辱有效地定义为断线的恐惧：害怕，如果其他任何人都曾经真正地认识我，看到了我的灵魂，他们会反冲厌恶和逃避我一辈子。
这种信念的残酷讽刺意味的是，它导致了最阴险的治疗。 当我表演出来丢人了，我笨拙的努力保护自己的判断和分离导致我提出一个虚假的前世界; 隔离和隐藏自己。
它继续这样的事情时，羞愧开始说话：“你是个骗子，一个骗子，你是一坨屎！ 如果有人真的了解你，你会搞砸！ 没有人会喜欢你！ 没有人会爱你！ 所以......不要告诉任何人真相。 假装一切都是那么美好！ 拿在手里！“
幸运的是，布朗博士任教，有一个有效的治疗方法的耻辱，但没有隐瞒：这是诚实和脆弱性。 当我开始诚实地分享我的感受，恐惧和担忧，我发现他们缩小和消失出奇的快。 我开始看到，当我是诚实和即将到来的，当我让自己脆弱的，人们实际上更接近，而不是回避。 通常情况下，他们甚至感谢我。
所以，你听到了虚张声势和耻辱的无情的声音， 打开就可以了桌子下一次：不是躲在自己在黑暗中， 打开阴影，让在阳光下。
几十年来，我是个守财奴，当它来到的圣诞节。 我可以咆哮和咆哮关于杀害树和商业化，而假临时兄弟情谊。 我是一个骗子通过和通过。
他探索他的过去，他醒来到现在，他带着对未来的责任。 它摇晃着他对他的骨头。 他发现了感激之情; 只是为了活着，呼吸，对做人。
因此，为了你勇敢和爱导游，你的向导以及过去和现在，就抑制不住鲍勃Crachits的天使，我谢谢你。 如果不是你男人这方面的工作，我仍然是个守财奴，躲在暗处，独立，吃抑郁症的稀粥。 相反，我是自由的。
无情的恩典显示出来 - 无情地 - 我捡掉在地上
“好”与“恶”的幻觉 - 这烂熟的水果。
伊甸 - 唉 - 让我没有转发地址
我的身体和血液中的节奏重复 - 的认可典礼
生活的变质 - 此时此地。
这产生 - 那么，总是 - 以本来的面目
作为服务器在一家餐馆，我的儿子科里戴着领带。 作为一名尽职尽责的父亲，我一直为他提供了爸爸辅助领带。 这就是我扎领带，好像我要穿上它，但它滑在我的头上，并给了他。
但是，在时机成熟时，一个20岁的儿子必须买他的父亲啤酒在酒吧。 没有等待... ...的时候进来一个年轻人的生活时，他必须学会配合他自己该死的领带。
最近，他带着他解开领带对我说，在essence-“的时间就是现在。 教我的男子汉气概这个伟大的技巧。“就在眨眼前，我教他骑自行车。 现在... 这一点。
这个教训开始与我们每个人都有着悠久的长度垂下的右侧我们的胸膛，空方在左侧。 我叫他站在我旁边就像我们在花样游泳运动员。 我们没有同步。
男人，这是很难教的东西我先在镜子不假思索。 “到底如何做到这一点？” （有一个高尔夫球课在那里的地方。）最终，我设法协调我的手，一句话：“围绕这一折，而下，现在结束了......”
我们试图与他站在面对我。 都能跟得上。 “没有什么值得做的事情是以往任何时候都容易，儿子，”我吟诵，明明买的时间。 “逆境怡情养性。”
Sensing he must seize the torch (well, the tie) and weave his own way, Corey tied, retied, tied and … until he turned his face skyward, punched the air and bellowed, “I freaking did it!” High-fives all around.
There was no great lesson for me—just reminders about being a father to my two boys. Be there, do my best to show them what to do, and then shut the hell up and let them do things for themselves.
The most important piece in all that? Be there. Really be there. If we can do that as fathers, my sense is that the ties between fathers and sons—and daughters—will grow tighter and stronger.
by Jeffrey Bates
…a small boat sat on the rocks on the beach
as he approached it felt just out of his reach
the oars they lay inside half disclosed
the old man in his chair dreamed a dream as he dozed.
The stream from the mountain descended to the shore
Where the boat had been dreaming of the man it knew before
He approached and he saw the world without care,
As he breathed in the sun, felt the crisp morning air.
The old man, he shifted a bit in his chair
He'd thought that he saw someone standing there
“Get in!” he sighed, as he passed on the edge,
“The boat is ready and the shore's no hedge.”
He squirmed once more in his chair on the porch
The young man, he felt no flame, but a torch.
As he pushed the small boat from the rocks on the beach
What was once so far was now within reach.
New Warrior brother Jeffrey Bates (Bedford, Indiana 1996), has written a mythical children's story called The Little Bucket 。 With a poetic voice and unique illustrations The Little Bucket is a hero's journey that will enliven and stimulate the imagination. The book teaches about empathy, boundaries, how to understand bullying, reaching out for help, and also about what it's like to feel lonely and lost and not know what to do about it.
When I got the book from Jeff earlier this spring, I shared it with my foster daughters. They both enjoyed the story, and it opened a much bigger conversation about what it means to look inside when things are hard. In a culture without a lot of strong models for emotional intelligence or personal responsibility, this is a story that can open some doors. It challenges blame and shame patterns that can get embedded so quickly in a child's psyche. I have referred back to the messages of The Little Bucket when working with my daughters to remind them that the what's going on on the 'outside' is only a tiny part of the reality … the BIG stuff is on the inside.
The thematic illustrations are gentle and colorful. The poetry flows with each turn of the page as the story moves through loss and revelation of a mysterious answer to the problem.
A reviewer commented, “Jeff Bates' use of rhyme and imagination creates a story to help readers of all ages to look within themselves and live life to its fullest.” (Roxanne L. Pace, Library Media Specialist, Brevard County, Florida)
Jeff Bates says, “One of the things we lack in our approach to helping build character in our children and feeling self-confidence is a model . The Little Bucket fills this gap and provides an opportunity for deeper discussion about the things that matter most: feelings. Once we can enable the discussion of feelings, we can make great strides in helping our kids concentrate better and become strong from within.”
He continues, “We are all overwhelmed by the entertaining digital world which really distracts kids from the real learning they need to be doing. I'm just not talking about 'school learning', but learning about what's going on on the inside .”
Additionally, when kids experience social pressure to conform and to give in to others, and feel distracted or intimidated by it, they can lose track of themselves, have difficulty concentrating and then spend the rest of their lives trying to recover.
Bates states that he is interested in selling the book, not just for the books sake, but for what can happen when it's heard. The Little Bucket can help kids discover themselves on the inside and, according to Psychotherapist Larry Pesavento of Cincinnati, Ohio, discover that “happiness is an inside job.”
If you have little ones, or big ones, and you struggle with starting a conversation around feelings such as sadness, fear, anger or even joy with them, this book can be a helpful kick-starter.
The Little Bucket is available at Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com to order. Also visit The Little Bucket on Facebook and be sure to give him a “LIKE.” Jeff also has The Little Bucket presentation where he comes to your group/class/school to present the story, have a discusion and then sing The Ballad of The Little Bucket . You can visit the author's page at http://jeffreybates.net for more information.
by Les Gaines
What is this shadow following me, damn?
Just a lie of what I truly am.
A mark from yesterday
when some guy said I wasn't good enough to play.
That old stain has been like a stone
locking away my heart in a catacomb.
How can I live?
How can I breath?
With this mirage of limitation blinding my destiny.
I pay the price to feel worthy.
But still it's clear that I'm not free.
No, just a proxy of what I should be,
offering a little taste of what I could be.
So what about a little authenticity,
If I drop my spear,
if I drop my shield
if stand before you with my shame revealed,
If I let my mind settle in this space,
and show the of years of fears etched on my face,
then can I stay?
Can I stay and love you through my shadows anyway.
That shadow has a bind on me,
nothing I can do sometimes but say I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for my mother.
I'm sorry for my father.
I'm sorry for that freak down the street.
And that' they all called a geek.
I'm sorry for my big head.
I'm sorry for my fears.
I'm sorry that I bite back hard,
when I fell attacked, and I'm not clear.
But, if I say I'm sorry for being me,
can I stay and love you through my shadows anyway.
I know that …
kings have other mansion
and, boys other toys.
Lovers have other passions
and, warriors other ploys.
But a man has only one heart to feel.
And, if he's lucky he'll hold onto one friend that's real.
So, I will stay, I'll stay and love you through my shadows anyway.
by Les Gaines
As if asleep in a sea of denial, loathing my own shadow,
my faithful friend with me along so many miles.
I know the crippling fear of stepping beyond the front door;
that hope for a better life was best left ignored.
I know trauma.
I know the doubt that comes
when everybody wrong seems right,
and everything right seems wrong;
when every arm but mine looks strong.
I know the helplessness of trying to feel like something,
while my brain is screaming that I'm nothing.
I know trauma.
The intrusion of phantom hands, sounds, and scents
that cross the gap of time making danger feel so imminent.
Flashbacks they're called,
by those who walk with memory intact.
I know just how long that panic can last.
But, I also know the power of Goodness and Life
that shields a soldier in the most vicious of fights.
I know the strength of hands, ready to survive.
I know how to thrive.
How to search the infinite resources of mind,
to unlock the chains of shame restoring innocence,
I thought left behind.
I know the power of the yearning for freedom
that made me stand from my crawl, and
throw away that doormat that read, “free-for-all.”
This is my Life!
And it's time I change
the rules of that old abusive game
to restore each fragment of my Self to its rightful place.
I'll say who I am,
Love, Life, and Freedom.
I am Choice. I am Real.
I am here … with the courage to heal.
GUEST POST by Peter Clothier
“ Wounded Leaders: British Elitism and the Entitlement Illusion, ” by Nick Duffell.
First, don't assume from this book's subtitle that is irrelevant to us here in America, or to our leadership. It is of vital relevance, no matter the specificity of his target. Nick Duffell's title will have resonance for anyone who has lived through the past couple of decades in America and watched our own wounded leaders in action–or, more correctly, inaction. That said–and we'll come back to this–his central argument is that the boarding-school educated governing elite in Britain are themselves unconsciously governed by the lasting wounds incurred by the experience of being sent away from the family at an early age, and placed in a militaristic environment in which they learn to protect themselves from a hostile outer world.
I can speak to this. I am what Duffell aptly refers to as a Boarding School Survivor. As a practicing psychotherapist, he has a long-standing practice designed to bring such people back from their emotional disorientation and isolation. I could have used his services, long ago, but had to discover my own path through this maze. I was sent away to school at the age of seven, and by the time I escaped to freedom at the age of eighteen, I had received a remarkable head-oriented education but remained what I often describe as an emotional cripple. I had learned the costly and dangerous art of evasion and emotional invulnerability. As a seven- or eight-year old, I could not afford to do anything but suppress the feelings that would open me up to attack from my fellow-boarders: fear, anger, sadness, grief, the terrible pain of being separated from parents who assured me that they loved me—even though it was hard to understand the paradox of being loved and yet exiled from the family, the locus of that love.
The result of my excellent education was that I never grew up. Rather, it took me another three decades before I realized there was something wrong with living like a turtle in a shell. Boarding School Survivors, as Duffell describes them, are stunted individuals so caught up in their heads that they remain disconnected from their hearts. I simplify his profoundly well-informed and subtle arguments, whose bottom line is that Britain's ruling elite, boarding-school and Oxbridge-educated, are supremely unqualified to lead in our twenty-first century world because they get so intently focused on their distorted, rational vision of national and global issues that they remain impervious (invulnerable) to the bigger picture of human needs. They are unable to listen, to empathize with others than themselves and their own kind. They are guided by the certainty of their own sense of rectitude. To doubt, to question, to have a change of heart is to be vulnerable, and vulnerability is the last thing in the world they can allow themselves. (Duffell's final chapter, on doubt, is particularly eloquent and on-target.)
I am admittedly unqualified to evaluate the more technical aspects of Duffell's argument. To this reader, he seems impressively knowledgeable and up-to-date with the latest discoveries of neuroscience and academic psychology. He draws on a broad understanding of the philosophical development of rationalism and its critics, the countervailing social movements of repression and rebellion, and contextualizes his argument in that historical perspective. In our contemporary times, his exemplars are primarily the likes of former Prime Minister Tony Blair, England's current Prime Minister David Cameron, and London Mayor Boris Johnson, whose attitudes and actions are profoundly—and in Duffell's view—mistakenly reactionary. As he sees it, they bully and bluster their way past opposition into futile military actions and social programs that enrich the already privileged and wealthy and contribute to the continuing impoverishment of the needy. No wonder the England he describes is an angry country.
Late in the book, Duffell expands his vision of an entitled elite to include brief reference to American leaders—in particular, of course, George W. Bush, whose blind and reckless pursuit of a delusory obsession rushed us headlong into the war with Iraq. The disastrous results are with us today, in the form of a Middle East in unending turmoil. Looking at America today—a nation of people surely as angry as the British—I'd argue that what Duffell calls the Entitlement Illusion is by no means limited to British elitism. Our leaders must also be counted amongst the wounded. Our leadership is dominated by the squabbling of little boys who have never grown beyond the need to protect themselves and their own territory from those who do not agree with them. Our political problems are the same as those Duffell describes in his country: militarism, misguided and prejudicial rationalism, a lack of empathy for the poor and underprivileged, an assumption of rectitude that rejects other views without a hearing, an angry rejection of doubt or reappraisal of previously held views.
Entitlement, I'd argue, is not the exclusive property of the British elite. I myself believe it's also, more broadly, a factor of historical male privilege, the patriarchal tradition. There is a persistent myth in our culture that sees men as rational beings, in control of events, capable, practical, while women are (still, in the eyes of too many of us men) perceived as irrational, guided by emotion rather than reason, and therefore less competent in leadership positions. Duffell argues passionately for a middle path, one that minimizes neither reason nor emotion, but balances the intelligence quotient with the emotional quotient, the head with the heart, reason with compassion and empathy. I agree with him, that unless we as a species can find that balance, we are in for dangerous times ahead. His book is a timely and important reminder of the need to “change our minds” in a fundamental way, and open ourselves to the powerful–and practical–wisdom of the heart. I sincerely hope that the book will find readers beyond the native country of which he writes. Its insights are profoundly needed everywhere, throughout the globe.
by Les Gaines
I sit in a circle with Men
who are ready to go within,
whose eyes blaze like diamonds in disguise
and whose bodies are poised with determination.
Unwilling to compromise,
and using clever minds as a honing device,
the brothers listen in.
For groans and moans of shadows and doubts
that utter, “I am less than.”
In this circle of men,
we find traces of hopes we've seen before,
hidden behind childhood doors
arousing pain we must explore.
And in that journey we find our life's mission
to be who we are, without seeking permission.
To do what good men have always done,
be willing to be “the One.”
In this circle of men,
a warrior rises to the occasion,
to see the world he made
and claim his power to change it.
Here hands beat upon drums,
And, masculine roars form our songs,
calling the four directions, the sky and the earth
and upon ancestor's shoulders we take up our work.
In this circle of men,
there is power to turn ore to steel,
to dissolve every illusions that prevents
living a life that is real.
In this circle of men,
there is truth in projections
and healing when a man encounters his own golden reflections.
by Two Crows Calling
First we took a hard look at our ego self
Speaking our feelings of what we wanted in love, work and a peaceful world
Discovering in our dyads and in our meditation that what
we yearned for was so often in breakdown,
“stalled”, not happening.
We saw our own self sabotage, living in illusion, deceit,
blaming others, caught in subtle consumer and family
dramas. Our list of counterfeit, cocoon traits hit home
as endlessly discouraging. For us, “looking good”so often
won out over just being Goodness.
Sitting, we connected deeply with our own “messiness”
We had placed our cart before the Wind horse of our Life.
We were not living from Buddha's last words
“Be a Lamp unto Yourself”
What good fortune the dharma overcame our doubt, fear and
timidity. We were rescued by energies far more powerful
and vast than the dominant culture's repetitive story lines.
Our practice sharpened our will and expanded our hearts.
Our teachers inspired us –breathing truth and love into us.
One day, you finally said a full and deep “YES”
You whispered into your own heart. “行。 I'm tired of being
sick and tired of all my half- hearted measures.”
You told your mind and heart. “I am ready to take it all on”.
I am ready to take the pain and heartache of society into my
own tender, vast and spacious Heart.
And you stepped forward to the front of history's grand stage
You realized the poet Rilke was right after all:
“Whatever the question, Love is the Answer.”
Starvation spreads in Africa and the Middle East while grain rots
in our Midwestern grain storage reserves. More love needed. The 37,000
infant and child deaths every day from polluted water. More of my love needed.
The seemingly endless deaths of mothers and young children in Syria.
More love needed. Clean water for the children? More love from me.
Breaking the horror of human trafficking and slavery?
More love from me.
We leaned into the Wind. Into the Storm. 在黑暗中
of our present Age. We rejoiced in the advancement of Goodness.
We found the dharma was our Shield,our Sword. Our Light.
We felt in our bones “This is my moment.This is our moment.”
And so with each breath, we opened wide our hearts to the pain
and suffering of this world.
Over time our field of action expanded more and more. Sacred warriors
of basic goodness appeared at our side. We became a Oneness.
九月份，第三本书在我的“失物招领王”系列，蝶王发表。 前提是在每本书一样：一个同性恋，中西部汽车修理工邀请另一个男人共度周末在一起。 他承诺“......如果你在每一个方式提交，我会帮你记住你的王权。 我会帮你记住这个人，你总是命中注定的。“
它的NWTA周末私生子。 嗯，有点。 有绝对没有任何关系或在小说中提到MKP的。 没有一个虚构的组织巧妙地改名为“LKP。”不。 无交叉活动。 无。 汽车修理工叙述者依靠约瑟夫·坎贝尔和阳刚原型创造的经验，帮助每个人发现他的独特天赋。 结合童话故事，情绪操纵，以及人为对人的性健康瓢，这些书已经引起人们的注意为他们的创新一下男性的心理和可能性，所有的人都是国王。
我发现自己在一个奇怪的和困难的境地。 我想写有趣的人，有趣的生活。 这就是作家呢，我猜。 但是，如何敢糊状白色，中产阶级男子试图获得颜色的人的脑海里？ 我不可能知道妨碍他经历的成长和整个成年期的情况。 这是非常有可能我试图描绘同情遇到的居高临下，消息不灵通，而且光顾。 我担心这一点。 它使我夜不能寐。
目前，大多数的书籍写的关于男人的爱好，男人写的异性恋女性。 我不是在开玩笑。 他们构成了最大的份额都是作家和读者的市场。 有些国家通过了一个人的名字为更好的接受或隐藏自己的身份，怕反弹。 大多数是开放的，他们的写作实力感到自豪。 事实上，男同性恋现在很难发表他们的故事，诚实，gayness战警爱好 - 男人的故事，因为这样的女性主宰这个领域，他们的喜好已成为行业的传统。 同性恋者必须符合这些行业标准，以获得出版或者被边缘化。
争论出现了一年三次或三次以上的博客。 有什么权力做女人介入，并告诉男同性恋的故事？ 有什么权力？ 他们没有遇到反对同性恋，同性恋的辱骂，地狱，他们甚至不具备正确的垃圾。
究其原因让我着迷。 他们觉得叫。 因为故事是关于爱。 因为它不是写他们闻名天下，男女关系更有趣。 有些女性有孩子的同性恋，男同性恋朋友，同性恋车库力学和他们想使世界更安全，更容易接受。 无论他们的原因，他们不敢。
当人们在MKP，我们不敢爱的男人从自己做起不同？ 难道我们加强不同颜色的我们舒适的皮外爱情不同年龄的男人，？ 不要共和党有时摇篮民主党，因为他们哭泣失去了婚姻？ 君不见一些麦片，嬉皮的领导者爱一个年轻的企业的拼命三郎，做一切力量来履行人类的王权？ 我知道你有。
我深入研究这本书。 我读到有关从50年代到21世纪初的民族迁徙转向，距离纽约市。 我读了关于种族的书籍。 我读白作者试图写入黑色的字的文章。 我读到盲点的主流文化，以及如何博客也出现在阴险的，排他的方式。 我很高兴我做了这项研究，但没有它给我写的权利。
我写的关于颜色的人，因为我爱的色彩的人。 我已经在我哭泣的武器，它们。 我们告诉我们的悲惨故事，觉得对方的阳刚愈合。 在工作人员的周末，我们已经擦干了对方的汗水和泪水，回到了地毯如果不刷新，当然更坚固。 更愿意承担下一个悲伤的故事。
我记得有一个晚上不久前，我的I-组决定了我的工作，晚上是来分享我出来的故事。 我耸耸肩。 虽然我一直在抱怨终身的隔阂已经造成，我觉得这不是真正相关。 事情发生在二十多年前。 当我告诉的经验告诉我的父母我是同性恋，两个直人在我的组哭了。 另一名男子说，“听我重复这个给你。”
当我听到从他口中我自己的故事来了，我哭了，因为我自己的故事-surprise，surprise-很伤心。 Although he repeated a few details wrong, he heard and honored the spirit of the tale. Apparently I had to hear it from someone else to recognize the sadness.
When I think about this latest novel, I'm sure I fucked up in a few places because, like most of us, I sometimes fuck up when I'm attempting a big project. That is one story about me. Here is another story I learned by working with MKP: I am also glorious, ridiculously bold and I radiate effervescent, sparkling love from my fingertips when I type fiction. I have the power to reveal how gorgeous, how beautiful men can be.
I celebrate us.
And so, I dare.
by Stephen Simmer – MKP USA Mission Circle Coordinator
I don't read emails, I scan them. 放缓，住在一个思想充分呈现的想法是非常困难的，很陌生。 If you're like me, you might notice a persistent voice, right now, telling you to hurry through this email, to grab the point that Simmer is making, deposit into the meaning-bank for possible future use, and move onto the next email waiting in the inbox. If you're like me, right now you're saying to yourself, “I got it” and hurdling over phrases and sentences to get to the next paragraph to see if there's more you need to grab. If you're like me, you don't read, you plunder for necessary meaning as if you're looting a store for a couple of things of value.
I'm also aware that I'm that way with many parts of my life I supposedly care about. I listen with a half an ear to my kids, I listen to my wife impatiently, hoping she will get to the point so I can move on, I hurry down the road with my dogs to get the walk out of the way as fast as I can so I can get onto some other tasks that I can also hurry through.
When I think of working more on mission, there is a voice in me that says emphatically, “I don't have time to do any more.” The conveyer belt is too fast already. I need to work, sack the trash, lug the air conditioners back to the garage, order the stone for the patio, pick up the prescription. Mission? Maybe I can schedule some world-transformation Tuesday between my son's soccer game and grilling the burgers. If I can't sandwich it in there, I'll get to it next lifetime, or the one after that. My mission gradually becomes my o-mission, what I leave out.
This is all wrong. I was taught on my training many years ago that a mission statement had a vision and an action. An action: I saw it as another task on my endless to-do list. But what if mission is not a job? What if it's really a presence? What if it's a challenge to do less, with magnificence? What if it means slowing down, committing to be fully present in this ordinary, splendid moment? What if mission means that I commit myself to be a human be-ing rather than a human do-ing? What if busy-ness is a symptom of evasion of what really matters?
Athletes talk of special times when the game slows down, and maybe mission is really about a commitment to slowing life down so that moments become momentous. These are the moments of Flow that Mihaly Csikszentmihaly identified. This precious moment with my son outside school when he quietly takes my hand as we walk. This encounter with the CVS clerk. This walk with my dog in the rain, both of us dying, him probably a few steps ahead of me, leading the way. I'm ditching my to-do list and starting a to-be list. And what is startling to me is that there is only one thing on the list: to answer the door and welcome the visitor who has been waiting.
The shaman knows those noises…
They sometimes disturb the hunt…they
are sometimes the result of the hunt…
You see, the shaman has kept
to his roots, not like the shamans
reed flute, having been cut from
its root, its soundings are the
lamentations of the broken hearted
which the shaman knows but he
Also knows of the healed heart…
knows the Icy grags and shadowed
vales…becoming knowing of the songs…
Of the void between notes, between
the lyrics, between the breath taken
in and the breath expelled… There
he finds the knowing of Wisdom…
There, he meets Her…Mother Sophia
Addenda i54: Oscar Wilde said,
“啊！ Don't say you agree with me. 什么时候
people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong.”
Do our poems have
to please everyone?
Do we have
a responsibility to be provocative?
We Have That Responsibility!
当然！ We have that responsibility!
Wilde said that! Wilde lived that!
Our 'modern' circumstances demand that …
How could we not … but to invite another Hitler …
Gaia, Mother Earth is demanding that!
Creating storm after massive storm
beyond our experience …
I am demanding that! … of
my Brothers & my Sisters!
The call has been made! It is international!
grass rooted, calling but walked upon …
springing back up into the calling air …
but CALLING again … every society … every Heart
The Mother and mothers everywhere are calling …
Fathers drop war from your consciousness.
It has no future … It begets no future …
But … ITSELF!
And an Earthen hell is the result …
Over and over … again and again …
MEN！ What more proof need be portrayed than that goriest
Glorious 20th Century …???
MEN…WHO ARE WE THAT WE CAN”T SEE
IN ALL THIS LIGHT???!!!
Wali Qutbuddin Loren Ruh Smith
GUEST POST: by Peter Clothier
Originally published at the Buddha Diaries
(for Luka, a bit later in his life)
I woke this morning thinking about Barack Obama, and how perfectly he fits the model of manhood proposed by Rudyard Kipling in his unjustly maligned and frequently parodied poem “If.” In case you don't remember it, here's how it starts out:
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise…
Doesn't that sound like Obama?
First, though, Boyhood, which provoked these thoughts. We finally got to see this beautiful and profoundly moving film last night. I loved the twelve-year journey of these skillful and committed actors, playing out the emotional development of fictional characters engaged in a fictional narrative as they themselves physically aged. I loved the “truth” of the story itself, of a family struggling with the realities of life—the failed and failing marriages, the financial woes, the abuse of alcohol and drugs, sibling love and feuding, school and the relationships with classmates, the pain of the teenage years, and so on. All along, start to finish, the story had the convincing “feel” of life as most of us experience it.
And the film is true to its title. It is about boyhood. Even at the end, the young boy, Mason, whose life we have been following from elementary school to college has not yet emerged fully into manhood. The last shot shows him, literally high in the beautiful natural surroundings of the mountains, and high on the mushroom fed him by his brand new college roommate. With a lovely young woman at his side—they sit still shyly side by side and not in some false, premature embrace—he gazes out in ecstasy into the landscape as though into a future filled with allure. But it is abundantly clear that he is still a boy. Boyhood still glows in his face; he's all promise, no completion.
Which should not surprise us. He had no models of real manhood as he was growing up. Mason's biological father is a charming rogue in his early years, unable to accept the responsibilities of marriage, job, and family. The subsequent relationships his mother forms are with men whose manhood is as questionable as his father's: a smooth academic whose insecurities lead him to drunken tyranny; a former military man whose immaturity is revealed in his insensitivity and inflexibility. With one notable exception—a photography teacher who attempts to move our Mason beyond his obstinate, lethargic adolescence—the strong, mature figures who surround the growing boy are women. The men are simply grown-up little boys.
Which leads me to reflect, beyond the parameters of the movie, upon this question: what are the qualities of manhood? We find what I think of as a real man all too infrequently in our contemporary world. We are surrounded everywhere by ungrown men: the drunks, the abusers, the workaholics; priests and teachers who take advantage of their positions of trust and exploit the vulnerabilities of children; lovers who take what they need and reject responsibility; politicians who lack the spine to govern and capitulate too easily to those who would manipulate them; gun-toting idiots who insist so stridently on their “rights” and are quick to spurn the rights of others; sports heroes pumped up with illicit drugs and phony testosterone; spoiled cultural idols, many of them scarcely more than teenagers.
Too often, the models of manhood we are offered are characterized by a false notion of strength. To return to the President and his current predicament, surrounded as he is by well-meaning progressives to the left and fanatics blinded by their own rectitude on the right, all nipping at his heels and demanding displays of strength. They fail to understand that the qualities of true strength are not intellectual inflexibility and rash, foolhardy action (the former President and his enablers come inevitably to mind) but the maturity to step back and take the longer view, the wisdom to listen and, when necessary, to change. Even to bend. That too is strength. They have not learned the ancient lesson of the oak tree and the reed .
The qualities of manhood, in my view, are these: integrity, a sense of mission, a devotion to service. We know how to teach these qualities. We do it with our military men in boot camp (women, too, these days, of course, but I'm concerned here with men.) While I'm not a fan of militarism in any form, I'll concede that in most cases even this crass form of initiation can produce admirable men—men who have not only strength and skills, but a sense of purpose greater than themselves. Our armed forces are worthy of the respect that they receive. What turns boys to men is this kind of ritualized initiation—a process that's significantly lacking in the development of the youngster who's portrayed in “Boyhood,” as it is to the majority of us today. Of myself, if I'm to be honest, I must acknowledge that I reached some measure of manhood only in my fifties. For genuine initiation in our culture we have substituted such tepid rituals as Christian confirmations and bar mitvahs.
They don't do the trick. In traditional cultures, the transition was a far more dangerous journey, involving genuine threat to life and limb as boys were sent out into wilderness or jungle to temper the vulnerability and fearfulness of boyhood into the steel they would need to function as a man. We in the modern Western world have no wild animals to deal with, unless we count those within. We forget that these are powerful enough to rule our lives if we don't learn to acknowledge and confront them. The early myth of initiation for us is the ordeal of the knight apprentice, who rides out into the forest to test his mettle against the dark knight—or the dragon—and returns prepared to serve his queen.
What is integrity? In simple terms, it is the fortitude to say fearlessly exactly what I mean, and do exactly what I say. Which implies, of course, a clear vision about who I am and what I am given to do. If I'm in doubt or confusion, I lack resolve. I dither. The answer lies not in denying doubt and confusion—they are a part of being human. No one escapes them. In denying them I risk precipitous and futile action, when what I need first is to consult the inner wisdom that I've wrestled with myself to find, and rediscover the clarity before I act. A man of integrity is a man who “has his act together,” in the sense that his actions are in full congruence with his words. He has “integrated” the four mainstays of his being: mind and body, feeling and spirit, and they are properly in balance. Action that is not backed by all four of these in unison–action that lacks thought, or heart, or energy, or purpose–is as ineffectual as the failure to act at all.
Inseparable from a man's integrity, then, is the understanding that he has left behind the innocence of boyhood, along with the freedom that accompanied it. He lives in a world of accountability to others and acknowledges his duty (yes, sorry, a quaint, old-fashioned concept!) to serve others than himself. Sadly, it's true that most of us fail to live up to this ideal. We look around us, searching vainly for the most part for our Mahatma Gandhis, our Nelson Mandelas, our Martin Luther Kings—men who were certainly not lacking in the failings that made them human, but who managed to be magnificently greater than their weaknesses, and of spectacular, historical service to their fellow human beings.
We cannot all be men like these, but we can be men. Without the challenge of traditional initiation rites, we are required to find, or invent, our own journey from boyhood into manhood. It is no easy task to face the darkness and the inner demons that, without our awareness, can control our destinies. All of us need some form of support as we make that journey: a church, perhaps, a spiritual guide, a trained therapist… And the journey, for most of us, is never ending. Who can sit back on his laurels and say with certainty: I have reached the fullness of my manhood? Even in, at best, my last quarter here among the living, I still struggle with my own.
So we leave our young protagonist, in “Boyhood,” with the journey into manhood still ahead of him. He may already have been initiated into sex and drugs, into the drudgery of work and now, finally, the college dormitory, but none of these has opened the door to the real, deep, inner work he will have to do if he is to become the man he needs to be if he is to fulfill his life's destiny. And that is yet to come…
By Gonzalo Salinas
According to Charles Duhigg author of The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business , approximately 40% of what we do every day, we do unconsciously. We have formed a habit that we tend to repeat every day, and it's making our choices for us.
So, think about all the things you do every day. Some of them probably don't serve your highest purpose but still, you repeat them religiously … even knowing specific behaviors are putting you away of the reality you want to live. Duhigg explains that every time you repeat those habits your brain reinforces them … so it craves, later on, this repetition. Even if is not beneficial, you get a neuro-chemical reward in your brain that not only will create some sort of addiction but also reinforces the identity you have created for yourself.
I have tried many times to change bad habits and create new ones. With a sincere heart I must confess that I have failed more times than I have succeeded. But I noticed something happened every time I was succeeding; the positive new habits were daily rituals.
是。 I do have rituals. Ritual – “a series of actions or type of behavior regularly and invariably followed by someone.” I repeat certain rituals every day, and believe me dear reader of the MKP Journal, to repeat an action every day, is not an easy task, especially when I am trying to create a new self.
Let me share some daily rituals hoping that this will inspire action to enhance lives.
I do my rituals first thing in the morning: I wake up and I go for a run. The running part is simple. I already told myself that as soon as I hear the alarm I must jump out of the bed. At the beginning it was hard, now is automatic. My recommendation is to avoid dealing with ANY logistics – so your sportswear must be ready next to the bed from the previous night.
A second ritual is: I carry in my wallet one handwritten page. One side of the page is divided in two: on the left side I have a few statements: my flaws or weaknesses to become aware of what I want to change, and on the right side my good qualities and virtues to remind myself the tools I have for my own growth. Deliberately this second list is bigger than the first one. On the other side of the paper I've written a brief composition about who I want to be. I've included goals and projects and a description of how I see myself in the next three years.
I read this paper three times a day. As soon as I wake up, at lunch time, and before I go to sleep. It takes me two minutes each reading. When I read it I focus on staying present: just reading.
Third: In the morning I also do a brief visualization … right before I come back from running I stop and I visualize: It takes me three to five minutes. I visualize the same three goals I have written on the paper I carry on my wallet.
Finally, is my gratitude time. On a notebook I got specifically for gratitude, right before I go to sleep, I write three things that I'm grateful for that day. It doesn't matter if it's as simple as “the kid I saw having some ice cream at Lincoln road in South Beach.” If I feel like writing it, I write it. Then I say a brief prayer, and I go to sleep.
These four rituals have changed my life dramatically in the last two years. Have I been 100% consistent with them?… absolutely not. I used to give to myself a guilt trip, this usually led me to abandon my regular practice for a while. If for some reason I miss my rituals now, instead of the self punishment, I just carry on.
就是这样。 Just a couple of thing before I finish: You may notice that my rituals are very simple; they are simple because when I create a complex plan, I find I'm planning to fail. Start small and keep going; it is a great exercise of self love.
And lastly, be creative with your rituals! Some people create a vision boards with images, others do mantras or incantations, others meditate or do breathing exercises. The rituals become habits because of repetition, and the daily practice causes transformation.
I've got more from my 2 years of rituals than from my entire previous life without them. Use them and then you tell me!
by Chris Kyle
Over the last week, I've shared with you the first two core Purpose Blocks which are:
Now it's time to explore the third of the 3 Purpose Blocks. Purpose Block #3 is the Distraction Vortex .
In our modern, media-saturated and technology-driven culture we have a never-ending list of things we can do in our daily lives to keep us busy and our schedules extremely full.
The daily choices are mind-boggling … TV shows, books, internet surfing, sports, phone calls, porn, email, movies, hobbies — and on and on and on. And all of this is in addition to our daily work (that hopefully pays the bills).
All these possible activities make up the Distraction Vortex: a swirling pool of constant and seemingly endless things TO DO … that can suck up all of our precious time.
None of these activities, in and of themselves, are inherently “good” or “bad.” However, if we are spending much of our time in the Distraction Vortex — there is a good chance that we are also distracting ourselves from what we might want most in our lives: deeper connection, greater joy, more meaning, and a clearer sense of purpose.
And because the journey into these states can be more subtle and unclear, it's frankly easier and likely more soothing to numb-out or check-out with a juicy distraction like a TV show, a series of YouTube videos, or a trashy novel.
The challenge and question is, “How do I consciously navigate this Distraction Vortex, so it doesn't suck up all of my time — and instead frees up my time for focusing on living more fully into my purpose?”
Here are three steps you can take to help set you free from the Distraction Vortex.
1. Slow Down and Observe Your Activity
The first step is to use whatever stillness practice you have, like meditation or mindfulness, to slow yourself down each day (and if you don't have one, then start one), and begin to observe what pulls your attention toward what you would consider unhealthy distractions.
Then take on a one week “distraction awareness practice” by tracking where you are spending your time in the activities that you consider distractions. This brings to conscious awareness what activities YOU use as distractions to not face something else in your life.
2. Notice What You're Avoiding
The second step is to notice what you may be avoiding in your life that the distractions helps you not have to face. It is typically something you don't want to look at, and which makes you uncomfortable… something that you struggle with in your life.
Being more conscious of the activity, feeling or the energy that you're avoiding helps to burst the bubble on your distraction patterns. Now you have the awareness to make a new choice about whether to engage the specific distractions or not.
3. Recommit with Support
As you see more clearly how your particular distractions don't serve you, you can now recommit yourself to the actions and activities that truly support and serve you — your own growth and your purpose.
By declaring your commitment to the activities that feed your passions and purpose to another person close to you helps you stay accountable to not slipping back into the unhealthy distractions. This support is key to breaking out of the Distraction Vortex.
In the Man on Purpose Course, starting tomorrow (April 17, 2014), we spend two of the 7 weeks on looking at the patterns and habits that take us out of the fuller expression of our authentic power, creativity and purpose. This helps clear the way to bringing more energy and power to our purpose.
To your distraction-free purpose,
PS The Man on Purpose Course starts tomorrow, April 17th, and there's still time to register and lock in your seat in the course. Go here to register for the course. One man who took the course last year said:
“The course opened me up to the desire and passion to start living as a man who lives to be more of service in all aspects of life. Not “what is my purpose?” but rather how to LIVE with purpose!” — Edward Werger
Special Q&A Call Tonight & Important Announcement
We've received a lot of great questions over the last week around the topic of purpose and wanting to know more about our upcoming course — Man On Purpose: The Essential 7-Week Online Course for Men which starts on April 17th.
As I mentioned in my last post, George Daranyi and I will be hosting a special interactive Q&A call tonight – Tuesday April 15th. We will be answering some of the most frequently asked questions about the course, and also about how you can access your hidden power to activate your passions and purpose in the world.
If you have any lingering questions about the course, please join this special Q&A call TONIGHT, MARCH 15TH at 5:30 pm Pacific Time to get the answers you need.
Here's how to access the Q&A Session with George and me:
TONIGHT at 5:30 pm Pacific / 8:30 pm Eastern / 12:30 am+1 UTC
To listen by webcast online, go to:
To listen by phone dial:
Number: (425) 440-5100
Access code: 405934#
A number of men who have experienced the work with us were eager to share how it had improved and changed their lives:
“They showed me how I had been asleep for most of my life, and how I needed to “awaken” and take charge of my life, to take responsibility and be accountable for my actions. In the program, I received the tools to get back into integrity with my family, my friends, and mainly with myself… I learned that it in order to make a difference in this world, to live into my purpose, I first had to change myself.” — Joe A.
“Chris' approach helped me to see where I'm not showing up fully in my life and the shadows that were holding me back. His intuition and awareness guided me to confront these shadows and helped me stay present, even when it was uncomfortable. With Chris's help, I found my growing edge and learned how to take what I experienced in the sessions into my professional and social life, my intimate relations and most of all, my inner journey. By experiencing this place of “deep knowingness”, purpose and fierce love, I experienced the essence of my true nature.” — Tim C.
I also wanted to let you know that our 3-payment option ends this Friday. So if you're planning to register for the course and would benefit from the option of spreading the payments over three months, be sure to register by tomorrow to take advantage of this opportunity.
To learn more and register visit the course information page.
To living your purpose,
Chris Kyle & George Daranyi