Who Are You, Anyway?
One of the most common complaints or issues that people share with me that they are struggling with is along the lines of “I don’t know what I want to do with my life,” followed closely by “I have no idea what my purpose is, and I feel like I’m just drifting through my life.” The economic times seem to be adding to the distress of that kind of question. People who are getting clear that they are not living a life that is congruent with who they really are often describe feeling trapped, particularly in their careers (and often in unhappy relationships where financial stability is seemingly at stake).
A report from Oslo in the wake of terror
Flowers outside the Oslo Peace center
Eivind Skjellum writes from Oslo
Hi everyone,
As some of you may know, Oslo, Norway is the city I call home. Some days ago, as I am confident you know, Oslo became the target of two acts of terrorism carried out by a deranged young ethnic Norwegian more or less my age.
Braveheart
by Eivind Figenschau Skjellum
Ah, Braveheart… I remember leaving the movie theater that evening in 1995. I was seventeen, clueless and inspired. Something stirred inside and I could tell my friends had been impacted as well. Yep, we loved it and for many years to come, when asked my favourite movie, Braveheart was my answer.
The four loves of my life
by Joe Glassman
For me, love is devotion, promise, interaction, giving, and risking. High risk; high reward.
The obvious themes for love in my life seem to be self growth, forgiveness, risk taking, and never giving up. My father always said, “Tomorrow is another day.” What he meant, I think, was that another day offers new opportunities to reach out and to try.
Here are four areas of my life where I try to love.
Heart Opening; a poem
by Paul Goldman
I opened my heart and found
you comfortably resting inside,
as if you had always been waiting
for the right time when I would
find you.
Had I but known you were here within,
I would have rushed ahead, skipped a few
steps necessary to finally commune
with you.
Surely as nightfall turns to daylight, I have
followed the specific guidance I was given.
Encoded perfectly were the instructions written
in a language that until now would have been
indecipherable.
On the edge of suicide
by Christopher St. John
I was in so much despair that the only thing left for me to do was take my life.
Seems like a lifetime ago. At the tender age of twenty three, I was at the end of my rope with no way out. After many cries of help through my self-destructive behavior, almost everyone in my circle had given up on me. I was certain everyone would be better off without me. Why had my life turned into crap?
Getting by on the sly in LA
by Ray Olvera
Jaded, cynical, bitter, ready for a change, I met Randy at a job I was completely unprepared to fulfill.
I’d graduated from a network admininistration business program and passed the six Microsoft exams necessary to call myself an MCSE (Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer). Unable to land a job after countless interviews in the tech industry, I began to tell employers that I could handle and excel at just about any position.
Want to move mountains? Move father first
by Michael Marlin
As a child steeped in mythology, I learned how the gods could be benevolent, tricksters, demons, and furies to be celebrated and feared. Like a primitive man, I sought to appease the gods that were my parents. I thought everybody’s parents were the same.
Children don’t know what parenting is supposed look like, so they accept it, regardless of their circumstances or treatment.
The forgotten language of fathers and sons
by Peter H. Putnam, Jr.
In April 1998, my father is lying in a South Carolina hospital with a ventilator plugged into his throat. He has no voice. He once sang “Impossible Dream” in an impossibly deep bass voice, now this man has no voice. He lay prone, a child. He is no longer 6 feet tall, no longer the frightening, booming, hair-cutting, wisecracking, story-telling giant of my childhood. He is a a dying man in a hospital bed with no voice.
Acceptance is not approval
by Mike Hernacki
I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery nearly all of my 64 years. This journey has been most intense for the past 15 years, during which I’ve learned many valuable life lessons, including the difference between acceptance and approval.
I have a niece whose father died when she was a toddler. I’ve always felt fatherly toward her and stepped in when I felt she needed paternal advice or protection.
Compassion and truth saves a relationship
by Alan Huyshe
A relationship that had gone stale and distant suddenly changed one day. She said she’d met another man, had been seeing him for more than a month, and she was in love.
I used the new-found courage and “warrior energy” that I had found in myself. I called her to face me and talk about this in person, not do it over the phone. She came and we sat down to talk.
The day my mom died
by Forrest Arnold
The hospice nurse sweetly touched my mom’s fingers and toes, checking the color of her skin, then patted her cheek gently and said, “Today’s the day, Rosie. Today’s the day.”
When my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, she was full of fear. She said, “You know I’ll be dead in five years, don’t you?” I think it was her certainty that shook me up the most. That was 19 years and several surgeries ago. She had enjoyed many positive life chapters since that first scary diagnosis. But now, we were close to the end.
A life choice: Falling or Flying?
by Neil Zeltzer
Life has many opportunities to fall or fly. I believe that given the choice, flying is always the better alternative.
Most of my personal growth work has been about learning how to accept myself, no matter whom or what faced me. I love the opportunity to be “me” in every situation, and to love “me” with all my glorious golden parts. Loving my unknown and usually disliked hidden part is what 14 years of doing this work has afforded me. Stepping into my hidden parts has been a huge blessing, a blessing I did not truly realize until July 6 2007.
Three keys for fathers wanting to build a conflict-free relationship with an ex-wife
by Roy Biancalana
If you listen to the mainstream media talk about divorced dads, you would think most of us, at best, are distant and disengaged, or at worst, dangerous dead-beats. Most divorced dads I know love their kids and want the best for them.
Sure, there are men who abandon or even abuse their children, but most of us want to do everything within our power to ensure their complete well-being. To that end, although we no longer live with their mothers, we strive to be a consistent presence in their lives, not because we should, but because we authentically want to see them flourish and be happy.
No paisley tie for me: What if you are not a father on Father’s Day?
by Edmond Manning
I’m not getting a Father’s Day card from my kids this year. No necktie to go with the shirt they gave me at Christmas. No new TV remote. No weeding tools for the back yard. Why not? I’m not a father.
‘New Warrior’ men make good fathers
by Steve Norcross
Once again, the third Sunday in June is Father’s Day. Greeting card publishers, clothing manufacturers, distilleries, and long-distance phone operators are hoping to realize a profit from the once-a-year obligation many feel to honor their dads. I hope my own kids, at least, call and wish me well, tell me that they love me.
I’m put in mind, this time of year, to recall and honor my fathers and grandfathers. I hope to be so honored by my descendents.
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