Jeg vet traume - et dikt

Kategori: Menn og Shadow , Poetry

av Les Gaines

Som om han sov i et hav av fornektelse, avsky min egen skygge,
min trofaste venn med meg sammen så mange miles.
Jeg vet den lammende frykt for å tråkke utenfor inngangsdøren;
at håp om et bedre liv var best igjen ignorert.

Jeg vet traumer.

Jeg vet tvilen som kommer
når alle feil synes rett,
og alt rett virker galt;
når hver arm, men mine ser sterk.

Jeg vet hjelpeløshet for å prøve å føle seg som noe,
mens hjernen min skriker at jeg er ingenting.

Jeg vet traumer.

Inntrenging av fantom hender, lyder og dufter
at krysse gap tid på å lage fare føles så nært forestående.
Flashbacks de heter,
av de som går med minne intakt.
Jeg vet akkurat hvor lenge det panikk kan vare.

Men, jeg vet også kraften i Godhet og Livet
som beskytter en soldat i den mest ondskapsfulle av kamper.
Jeg kjenner styrken i hendene, klar til å overleve.

Du ser,
Jeg vet hvordan du skal trives.
Hvordan søke de uendelige ressursene i sinnet,
å låse opp kjeder av skam gjenopprette uskyld,
Jeg tenkte igjen.

Jeg kjenner kraften av lengsel etter frihet
som fikk meg til å stå fra min crawl, og
kaste bort som dørmatte som leser, "free-for-all."

Dette er livet mitt!
Og det er på tide jeg endring
reglene i den gamle fornærmende spill
å gjenopprette hvert fragment av meg selv til sin rettmessige plass.

Jeg skal si hvem jeg er,
Love, Life, og Freedom.
Jeg er Choice. Jeg er Real.
Jeg er her ... med mot til å helbrede.

Les Gaines

Etter å ha fått seier over deaktivere PTSD, Les Gaines returnerer til sin misjon som en healer, coach, foredragsholder, og talsmann for funksjonshemmede overlevende av traumer i barndommen. Han er en sertifisert metafysisk healer, og en ivrig student av jødisk / kristen mystikk, og sjamanisme. Les håper å dele sin reise av healing og empowerment gjennom sin kjærlighet til poesi, kunst og musikk. Les fullført New Warrior Training Adventure i august 2012, og er et takknemlig medlem av BWOE igroup i MD.

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Sårede LEDERE: A Book Review

Kategori: Anmeldelser

Gjest postering av Peter Clothier

"såret Leaders: Britisk elitisme og Rett Illusion," av Nick Duffell.

Først, ikke anta fra denne bokens undertittel som er irrelevant for oss her i Amerika, eller til vår ledelse. Det er av avgjørende betydning, uansett spesifisitet av hans mål. Nick Duffell tittel vil ha resonans for alle som har levd gjennom de siste par tiårene i Amerika og sett våre egne sårede ledere i action-eller, mer korrekt, passivitet. Når det er sagt-og vi vil komme tilbake til dette-hans sentrale argument er at boarding-school utdannet styrende elite i Storbritannia er selv ubevisst styres av varige sår pådratt av opplevelsen av å bli sendt bort fra familien på et tidlig alder, og plasseres i et militaristic miljø der de lærer å beskytte seg mot en fiendtlig ytre verden.

Jeg kan snakke med dette. Jeg er hva Duffell refererer treffende som en kostskole Survivor. Som en praktiserende psykoterapeut, har han et langvarig praksis utformet for å bringe slike folk tilbake fra deres emosjonelle desorientering og isolasjon. Jeg kunne ha brukt hans tjenester, for lenge siden, men måtte finne min egen vei gjennom denne labyrinten. Jeg ble sendt bort til skolen i en alder av syv, og da jeg flyktet til frihet i en alder av atten, hadde jeg fått en bemerkelsesverdig head-orientert utdanning, men forble det jeg ofte beskriver som en emosjonell krøpling. Jeg hadde lært den kostbare og farlige kunsten unndragelser og emosjonell usårbarhet. Som en sju eller åtte år gammel, jeg hadde ikke råd til å gjøre noe, men undertrykke følelsene som ville åpne meg opp for angrep fra min kamerat-grenser: frykt, sinne, tristhet, sorg, den forferdelige smerten ved å være atskilt fra foreldrene som forsikret meg om at de var glad i meg, selv om det var vanskelig å forstå paradokset av å være elsket og likevel forvist fra familien, locus av denne kjærligheten.

Resultatet av min utmerket utdannelse var at jeg aldri vokste opp. Snarere, det tok meg ytterligere tre tiår før jeg innså at det var noe galt med å leve som en skilpadde i et skall. Boarding School Survivors, som Duffell beskriver dem, er forkrøplet individer så fanget opp i hodene deres at de forblir koblet fra deres hjerter. Jeg forenkle hans dypt velinformerte og subtile argumenter, hvis bunnlinjen er at Storbritannias herskende elite, boarding-school og Oxbridge-utdannet, er super ukvalifisert til å lede i vår tjueførste århundre verden, fordi de blir så intenst fokusert på deres forvrengt, rasjonell visjon av nasjonale og globale problemer som de forblir ugjennomtrengelig (usårbar) til det store bildet av menneskelige behov. De er ikke i stand til å lytte, til å føle med andre enn seg selv og sin egen art. De er styrt av vissheten om sin egen følelse av rettskaffenhet. Å tvile, til spørsmålet, for å ha en forandring i hjertet er å være sårbar, og sårbarhet er det siste i verden de kan tillate seg. (Duffell siste kapittel, på tvil, er spesielt veltalende og på målet.)

Jeg er riktignok ukvalifisert til å vurdere de mer tekniske aspektene ved Duffell argument. Til denne leseren, synes han imponerende kunnskapsrike og up-to-date med de nyeste funn av nevrovitenskap og akademisk psykologi. Han trekker på en bred forståelse av den filosofiske utviklingen av rasjonalisme og dens kritikere, de motvirkende sosiale bevegelser av undertrykkelse og opprør, og kontekstualiserer hans argument i den historisk perspektiv. I vår moderne tid, hans forbilder er først og fremst slike som tidligere statsminister Tony Blair, Englands nåværende statsminister David Cameron og London ordfører Boris Johnson, som har holdninger og handlinger er dypt-og Duffell syn-feilaktig reaksjonær. Slik han ser det, de mobber og bluster seg forbi motstanderne i fåfengte militære handlinger og sosiale programmer som beriker allerede privilegerte og velstående og bidra til en fortsatt utarming av de trengende. Ikke rart England han beskriver er en sint landet.

Sent i boken, utvider Duffell hans visjon av en berettiget elite å inkludere kort henvisning til amerikanske ledere-spesielt, selvfølgelig, George W. Bush, som blind og uvøren jakten på en illusoriske besettelse stresset oss hodestups inn i krigen med Irak. De katastrofale resultatene er med oss ​​i dag, i form av et Midtøsten i uendelig uro. Ser vi på dagens USA-en nasjon av folk sikkert som sinte som den britiske-jeg vil hevde at det Duffell kaller Rett Illusion er på ingen måte begrenset til British elitisme. Våre ledere må også regnes blant de sårede. Vår ledelse er dominert av den kranglete av små gutter som aldri har vokst utover behovet for å beskytte seg selv og sitt eget territorium fra de som ikke er enige med dem. Våre politiske problemer er de samme som Duffell beskriver i sitt land: militarisme, misforstått og skadelig rasjonalisme, mangel på empati for de fattige og underprivilegerte, en forutsetning om korrekthet, som avviser andre visninger uten en høring, en sint avvisning av tvil eller revurdering av tidligere synspunkter.

Rett, jeg vil hevde, er ikke den eksklusive eiendommen til den britiske eliten. Jeg selv tror det er også, i videre forstand, en faktor på historisk mannlig privilegium, den patriarkalske tradisjonen. Det er en vedvarende myte i vår kultur som ser menn som rasjonelle vesener, kontroll av hendelser, dyktige, praktiske, mens kvinner er (fortsatt, i øynene av for mange av oss menn) oppfattet som irrasjonell, guidet av følelser snarere enn årsak , og derfor mindre kompetente i lederstillinger. Duffell argumenterer heftig for en middelvei, en som minimerer verken fornuft eller følelser, men balanserer intelligenskvotient med emosjonell kvotient, leder med hjertet, fornuft med medfølelse og empati. Jeg er enig med ham, at dersom vi som art kan finne denne balansen, vi er i for farlige tider i møte. Hans bok er en betimelig og viktig påminnelse om behovet for å "endre vårt sinn" i en grunnleggende måte, og åpne oss for den kraftige-og praktisk-visdom i hjertet. Jeg håper at boken vil finne lesere utenfor hjemlandet hvor han skriver. Sine innsikter er dypt nødvendig overalt, over hele verden.

Se for Peter Clothier kommende roman om maskuline seksualitet, "The Pilgrims Staff" (en gammel eufemisme for penis.) Den er fortalt av to fortellere, en moderne skikkelse maler og og 18. århundre engelsk gentleman. Frank sex scener og potboiler spenning! Peter er en 1994 NWTA initiere, en engangs aktiv Ritual Elder, og en velkjent art forfatter. Hans siste bok, "Slow Looking: Kunsten å se på kunst," utforsker verdiene for ettertanke og meditasjon. Føl deg fri til å skrive ham på peter clothier@mac.com .

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En sirkel av menn

av Les Gaines

Jeg sitter i en sirkel med menn
som er klar til å gå innenfor,
hvis øyne flamme som diamanter i forkledning
og hvis legemer er klar med besluttsomhet.

Uvillig til å inngå kompromisser,
og ved hjelp av smarte hjerner som en honing enhet,
brødrene lytte.
For stønn og stønn av skygger og tvil
at utter, "Jeg er mindre enn".

I denne sirkelen av menn,
vi finner spor av håp vi har sett før,
skjult bak barndoms dører
vekke smerten vi må utforske.

Og i denne reisen finner vi vår livsoppgave
å være hvem vi er, uten å søke tillatelse.
For å gjøre det gode menn alltid har gjort,
være villig til å være "den ene".

I denne sirkelen av menn,
en kriger stiger til anledningen,
å se verden han gjorde
og hevder sin makt til å endre det.

Her hender slå på trommer,
Og, maskuline brøler danne våre sanger,
kalle de fire retninger, himmelen og jorden
og på forfedrenes skuldre tar vi opp vårt arbeid.

I denne sirkelen av menn,
det er makt til å snu malm til stål,
å oppløse alle illusjoner som hindrer
å leve et liv som er reell.

I denne sirkelen av menn,
det er sannhet i anslagene
og helbredelse når en mann møter sine egne gylne refleksjoner.

Les Gaines

Etter å ha fått seier over deaktivere PTSD, Les Gaines returnerer til sin misjon som en healer, coach, foredragsholder, og talsmann for funksjonshemmede overlevende av traumer i barndommen. Han er en sertifisert metafysisk healer, og en ivrig student av jødisk / kristen mystikk, og sjamanisme. Les håper å dele sin reise av healing og empowerment gjennom sin kjærlighet til poesi, kunst og musikk. Les fullført New Warrior Training Adventure i august 2012, og er et takknemlig medlem av BWOE igroup i MD.

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The Rising of Basic Godhet - legemliggjørelsen i et globalt samfunn

Kategori: Poesi

av to Crows Calling

Først tok vi en hard titt på vårt ego selv
Snakker våre følelser av det vi ønsket i kjærlighet, arbeid og en fredelig verden
Oppdage i våre diader og i vår meditasjon som det
vi lengtet etter var så ofte i sammenbrudd,
"Stoppet", ikke skjer.

Vi så vår egen selvsabotasje, som lever i illusjonen, svik,
skylde på andre, fanget i subtile forbruker og familie
dramaer. Vår liste over forfalsket, kokong trekk treffes hjemme
som uendelige nedslående. For oss, "ser bra" så ofte
vant over bare å være godhet.

Sitter vi koblet dypt med vår egen "messi"
Vi hadde plassert vår vognen foran Wind hesten av våre liv.
Vi ble ikke levende fra Buddhas siste ord
"Vær en lykt for deg selv"

Hva hell dharma vant vår tvil, frykt og
engstelige. Vi ble reddet av energier langt kraftigere
og enorme enn den dominerende kulturens repeterende historier.

Vår praksis skjerpet vår vilje og utvidet våre hjerter.
Våre lærere inspirerte oss -breathing sannhet og kjærlighet inn i oss.

En dag, du sa til slutt en full og dyp "JA"
Du hvisket inn i ditt eget hjerte. "OK. Jeg er lei av å være
syk og lei av alle mine halvhjertet tiltak. "

Du fortalte ditt sinn og hjerte. "Jeg er klar til å ta det hele på".

Jeg er klar til å ta den smerte og hjertesorg av samfunnet inn i min
eget anbud, stort og romslig Heart.

Og du gikk frem til fronten av historiens store scenen
Du skjønte poeten Rilke var rett etter alt:

"Uansett hva spørsmålet, er kjærlighet svaret."

Sult sprer seg i Afrika og Midt-Østen, mens korn råtner
i våre Midwestern kornlagre reserver. Mer kjærlighet nødvendig. Den 37.000
spedbarn og barn dødsfall hver dag fra forurenset vann. Mer av min kjærlighet trengs.

Den tilsynelatende endeløse dødsfall av mødre og små barn i Syria.
Mer kjærlighet nødvendig. Rent vann til barna? Mer kjærlighet fra meg.
Breaking the horror av menneskehandel og slaveri?
Mer kjærlighet fra meg.

Vi lente mot vinden. Into the Storm. Into the Darkness
av vår nåværende alder. Vi gledet i fremme av godhet.

Vi fant dharma var vår Shield, vår Sword. Vår Light.
Vi følte i våre bein "Dette er mine moment.This er vårt øyeblikk."

Og så med hvert åndedrag, vi åpnet bredt våre hjerter til smerte
og lider av denne verden.

Over tid vår virkefelt utvidet mer og mer. Hellige krigere
av grunnleggende godhet dukket opp på vår side. Vi ble en Enhet.

Sammen mine søstre og brødre
Vi går ut over denne store verden
fruktbare frø i Wind
Making opplyst samfunn Possible.
Shambhala! Shambhala!

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The Butterfly King - Edmond Manning på Skrive og Daring

Edmond Manning

Med hvilken rett gjør en hvit mann forteller historien om en svart mann? Beskriv at menneskets kamp, ​​livslang utfordringer han står overfor, vanskelighetene ved å leve i en hvit-sentriske kultur?

Jeg har spurt meg selv dette spørsmålet mange ganger.

I september, den tredje boken i min "Lost and Found Kings serien The Butterfly King ble publisert. Premisset er den samme i hver bok: en homofil, Midwestern bilmekaniker inviterer en annen mann til å tilbringe helgen sammen. Han lover "... hvis du sender inn på hver enkelt måte, vil jeg hjelpe deg å huske din kongedømme. Jeg vil hjelpe deg å huske den mannen du var alltid ment å være. "

Høres det kjent ut?

Det er en bastardization av NWTA helgen. Vel, litt. Det er absolutt ingen overbevisninger eller nevner av MKP i romanen. Det er ikke en fiktiv organisasjon smart omdøpt "LKP." Nope. Ingen crossover aktiviteter. Ingen. Bilen mekaniker Fortelleren er avhengig av Joseph Campbell og de maskuline arketyper å skape opplevelser som hjelper hver mann oppdage sin unike talenter. Kombinert med eventyr fortellinger, emosjonell manipulasjon, og en sunn scoop av mann-mot-mann sex, har disse bøkene vakt oppsikt for sin nyskapende titt på den maskuline psyke og muligheten for at alle mennesker er konger.

Jeg har behag i å skrive om forskjellige typer menn. Mine skrøner feire kraften av menn, skjønnheten av menn, som inkluderer sine woes: livslang konsekvenser for en mann hvis far døde ung (den første boken, kong Perry), en sint mann som føler seg sveket av kjærlighet og hvordan shitty hans livet viste seg (den andre boken, kong Mai), og den siste boken, min tredje, avtaler med en svart mann i New York city som ofret sin egen fremtid å ta vare på sin familie.

The Butterfly King.

Men med hvilken rett gjør en hvit mann fortelle en svart mann historie?

Ingen rett.

Jeg finner meg selv i en nysgjerrig og vanskelig posisjon. Jeg ønsker å skrive om interessante mennesker og fascinerende liv. Det er det forfattere gjør, antar jeg. Men hvordan våger en deigaktig hvit, middelklassen mann forsøk på å komme på innsiden av hodet til en mann av farge? Jeg kan umulig vite omstendighetene rundt fordommer han opplevde å vokse opp og gjennom hele voksenlivet. Det er meget mulig mitt forsøk på å skildre empati kommer over som nedlatende, dårlig informert, og nedlatende. Jeg er bekymret for dette. Det holder meg våken om natten.

En nysgjerrig parallell finnes i mitt fiction sjangeren.

Akkurat nå, de fleste av bøkene skrevet om menn kjærlige menn er skrevet av heterofile kvinner. Jeg tuller ikke. De komponere brorparten av markedet for både forfattere og lesere. Noen har vedtatt et mannsnavn for bedre aksept eller for å skjule sin identitet, redd for tilbakeslag. De fleste er åpne og stolte av sin skriving dyktighet. Faktisk, homofile menn nå finner det vanskelig å publisere sine historier-ærlig-til-gayness-menn-kjærlige menn historier-fordi kvinner så dominerer dette feltet, og deres preferanser er blitt industritradisjoner. Homofile menn må samsvare med disse bransjestandarder for å bli publisert eller bli marginalisert.

He.

Debatten kommer opp tre ganger i året eller mer i bloggosfæren. Med hvilken rett har ikke kvinner gå inn og fortelle homofile menns historier? Med hvilken rett? De opplever ikke homofil bashing, homofobe buer, og helvete, har de ikke engang har rett useriøs.

Og likevel, skriver de. De tør.

Årsakene fascinere meg. De føler kalt. Fordi historiene er om kjærlighet. Fordi det er mer interessant enn å skrive om sine kjente verden, mann-kvinne forhold. Noen av disse kvinnene har homofile barn, homofile venner, homofile garasje mekanikere og de ønsker å gjøre verden tryggere, mer imot. Uansett sine grunner, tør de.

Jeg elsker dette. De tør.

Ikke vi også tør?

Som menn i MKP, ikke vi tør å elske menn er forskjellige fra oss selv? Ikke vi gå utenfor våre komfortable skins å elske menn i ulike aldre, av forskjellige farger? Ikke republikanerne noen ganger vugge demokratene som de gråte over tapte ekteskap? Har du ikke sett noen granola, hippie leder elske en ung bedrifts go-getter, gjøre hva det tar å hedre den mannens kongedømme? Jeg vet du har.

Jeg har sett det, også.

Vi vil ikke blande seg inn i hverandres liv, fordi det er vår rett til å gjøre det. Vi gjør det fordi vi tør å elske hverandre som menn, som brødre.

I researched this book thoroughly. I read about shifting ethnic migrations to and from New York City from the 1950s through the 2000s. I read books about race. I read articles about white authors attempting to write black characters. I read blogs about blind-spots in dominant culture and how it shows up in insidious, exclusionary ways. I'm glad I did this research, but none of it gives me the right to write.

But I dare.

I write about men of color because I have loved men of color. I have wept in their arms and they in mine. We told our sad stories and felt each other's masculine healing. On staff weekends, we have wiped away each other's sweat and tears, and went back to the carpet if not refreshed, certainly more sturdy. More ready to bear the next sorrowful tale.

We celebrate each other by telling these stories, stories which are not always ours to tell.

I remember a night long ago when my I-group decided my work that night was to share my coming out story. I shrugged. Although I had been complaining of the lifelong estrangements it has caused, I felt it wasn't really relevant. Happened over two decades ago. As I told the experience telling my parents I was gay, two of the straight men in my group cried. Another man said, “Listen to me repeat this to you.”

When I heard my own story coming from his mouth, I cried myself because the story —surprise, surprise— was sad. Although he repeated a few details wrong, he heard and honored the spirit of the tale. Apparently I had to hear it from someone else to recognize the sadness.
When I think about this latest novel, I'm sure I fucked up in a few places because, like most of us, I sometimes fuck up when I'm attempting a big project. That is one story about me. Here is another story I learned by working with MKP: I am also glorious, ridiculously bold and I radiate effervescent, sparkling love from my fingertips when I type fiction. I have the power to reveal how gorgeous, how beautiful men can be.

I celebrate us.

And so, I dare.

Butterfly King

Edmond Manning is the author of a series, The Lost and Founds. The first three books in this series include King Perry, King Mai (a Lambda Literary finalist 2014), and most recently, The Butterfly King. Feel free to say hello at remembertheking@comcast.net .

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Working on My 'To Be' List

by Stephen Simmer – MKP USA Mission Circle Coordinator

I don't read emails, I scan them. The idea of slowing down and staying fully present with a thought is very difficult, very foreign to me. If you're like me, you might notice a persistent voice, right now, telling you to hurry through this email, to grab the point that Simmer is making, deposit into the meaning-bank for possible future use, and move onto the next email waiting in the inbox. If you're like me, right now you're saying to yourself, “I got it” and hurdling over phrases and sentences to get to the next paragraph to see if there's more you need to grab. If you're like me, you don't read, you plunder for necessary meaning as if you're looting a store for a couple of things of value.

I'm also aware that I'm that way with many parts of my life I supposedly care about. I listen with a half an ear to my kids, I listen to my wife impatiently, hoping she will get to the point so I can move on, I hurry down the road with my dogs to get the walk out of the way as fast as I can so I can get onto some other tasks that I can also hurry through.

When I think of working more on mission, there is a voice in me that says emphatically, “I don't have time to do any more.” The conveyer belt is too fast already. I need to work, sack the trash, lug the air conditioners back to the garage, order the stone for the patio, pick up the prescription. Mission? Maybe I can schedule some world-transformation Tuesday between my son's soccer game and grilling the burgers. If I can't sandwich it in there, I'll get to it next lifetime, or the one after that. My mission gradually becomes my o-mission, what I leave out.

This is all wrong. I was taught on my training many years ago that a mission statement had a vision and an action. An action: I saw it as another task on my endless to-do list. But what if mission is not a job? What if it's really a presence? What if it's a challenge to do less, with magnificence? What if it means slowing down, committing to be fully present in this ordinary, splendid moment? What if mission means that I commit myself to be a human be-ing rather than a human do-ing? What if busy-ness is a symptom of evasion of what really matters?

Athletes talk of special times when the game slows down, and maybe mission is really about a commitment to slowing life down so that moments become momentous. These are the moments of Flow that Mihaly Csikszentmihaly identified. This precious moment with my son outside school when he quietly takes my hand as we walk. This encounter with the CVS clerk. This walk with my dog in the rain, both of us dying, him probably a few steps ahead of me, leading the way. I'm ditching my to-do list and starting a to-be list. And what is startling to me is that there is only one thing on the list: to answer the door and welcome the visitor who has been waiting.

Stephen Simmer

Steve Simmer, for de av oss privilegert som kjenner ham, lever sitt liv midt i den konstante strømmen og temaet for misjon. Passende nok, en av hans formelle oppdrag uttalelser er at han "skaper en verden av frihet ved å oppmuntre menn med min mot til å gjøre alt de kan være og å være alt som de kan gjøre." Av yrke en psykoterapeut, han arbeider kontinuerlig for å inspirere menn til aktivt å finne og engasjere seg i sin egen oppgave i denne verden. Dr. Simmer fullført New Warrior Training Adventure tilbake i 2001, og har aldri vært den samme mannen siden.
To learn more about Steve and his work you can visit his website

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My Poem 310: Meeting Wisdom

My Poem 310: Meeting Wisdom

The shaman knows those noises…
They sometimes disturb the hunt…they
are sometimes the result of the hunt…
You see, the shaman has kept
to his roots, not like the shamans
reed flute, having been cut from
its root, its soundings are the
lamentations of the broken hearted
which the shaman knows but he
Also knows of the healed heart…
knows the Icy grags and shadowed
vales…becoming knowing of the songs…
Of the void between notes, between
the lyrics, between the breath taken
in and the breath expelled… There
he finds the knowing of Wisdom…
There, he meets Her…Mother Sophia

——-

Addenda i54: Oscar Wilde said,

“Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When
people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong.”

Do our poems have
to please everyone?
Do we have
a responsibility to be provocative?

Yes! MEN!
We Have That Responsibility!

Of course! We have that responsibility!
Wilde said that! Wilde lived that!
Our 'modern' circumstances demand that …
How could we not … but to invite another Hitler …

Gaia, Mother Earth is demanding that!
Creating storm after massive storm
beyond our experience …

I am demanding that! … of
my Brothers & my Sisters!

The call has been made! It is international!
grass rooted, calling but walked upon …
springing back up into the calling air …
but CALLING again … every society … every Heart
The Mother and mothers everywhere are calling …
Fathers drop war from your consciousness.
It has no future … It begets no future …

But … ITSELF!
And an Earthen hell is the result …
Over and over … again and again …

MEN! What more proof need be portrayed than that goriest
Glorious 20th Century …???

MEN…WHO ARE WE THAT WE CAN”T SEE
IN ALL THIS LIGHT???!!!

Wali Qutbuddin Loren Ruh Smith
August 6, 2014

Qutbuddin Loren Ruh Smith: I'm 75 years old, born in Tacoma, WA and went to high school in Arcata, CA. I served in the US Army, met my first wife and had our first son in France. I started writing poetry in my first college English class in 1961. I've published a book called The Path to The Beloved and I have several books ready to publish. I lived in the Sierras in Grass Valley for 30 years before moving to Albuquerque, NM, in 2012. My book about fathers and sons called This Child and His Tree will be going to the publishers shortly.

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BOYHOOD: Not Exactly a Film Review

GUEST POST: by Peter Clothier

Originally published at the Buddha Diaries

(for Luka, a bit later in his life)

I woke this morning thinking about Barack Obama, and how perfectly he fits the model of manhood proposed by Rudyard Kipling in his unjustly maligned and frequently parodied poem “If.” In case you don't remember it, here's how it starts out:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise…

Doesn't that sound like Obama?

First, though, Boyhood, which provoked these thoughts. We finally got to see this beautiful and profoundly moving film last night. I loved the twelve-year journey of these skillful and committed actors, playing out the emotional development of fictional characters engaged in a fictional narrative as they themselves physically aged. I loved the “truth” of the story itself, of a family struggling with the realities of life—the failed and failing marriages, the financial woes, the abuse of alcohol and drugs, sibling love and feuding, school and the relationships with classmates, the pain of the teenage years, and so on. All along, start to finish, the story had the convincing “feel” of life as most of us experience it.

And the film is true to its title. It is about boyhood. Even at the end, the young boy, Mason, whose life we have been following from elementary school to college has not yet emerged fully into manhood. The last shot shows him, literally high in the beautiful natural surroundings of the mountains, and high on the mushroom fed him by his brand new college roommate. With a lovely young woman at his side—they sit still shyly side by side and not in some false, premature embrace—he gazes out in ecstasy into the landscape as though into a future filled with allure. But it is abundantly clear that he is still a boy. Boyhood still glows in his face; he's all promise, no completion.

Which should not surprise us. He had no models of real manhood as he was growing up. Mason's biological father is a charming rogue in his early years, unable to accept the responsibilities of marriage, job, and family. The subsequent relationships his mother forms are with men whose manhood is as questionable as his father's: a smooth academic whose insecurities lead him to drunken tyranny; a former military man whose immaturity is revealed in his insensitivity and inflexibility. With one notable exception—a photography teacher who attempts to move our Mason beyond his obstinate, lethargic adolescence—the strong, mature figures who surround the growing boy are women. The men are simply grown-up little boys.

Which leads me to reflect, beyond the parameters of the movie, upon this question: what are the qualities of manhood? We find what I think of as a real man all too infrequently in our contemporary world. We are surrounded everywhere by ungrown men: the drunks, the abusers, the workaholics; priests and teachers who take advantage of their positions of trust and exploit the vulnerabilities of children; lovers who take what they need and reject responsibility; politicians who lack the spine to govern and capitulate too easily to those who would manipulate them; gun-toting idiots who insist so stridently on their “rights” and are quick to spurn the rights of others; sports heroes pumped up with illicit drugs and phony testosterone; spoiled cultural idols, many of them scarcely more than teenagers.

Too often, the models of manhood we are offered are characterized by a false notion of strength. To return to the President and his current predicament, surrounded as he is by well-meaning progressives to the left and fanatics blinded by their own rectitude on the right, all nipping at his heels and demanding displays of strength. They fail to understand that the qualities of true strength are not intellectual inflexibility and rash, foolhardy action (the former President and his enablers come inevitably to mind) but the maturity to step back and take the longer view, the wisdom to listen and, when necessary, to change. Even to bend. That too is strength. They have not learned the ancient lesson of the oak tree and the reed .

The qualities of manhood, in my view, are these: integrity, a sense of mission, a devotion to service. We know how to teach these qualities. We do it with our military men in boot camp (women, too, these days, of course, but I'm concerned here with men.) While I'm not a fan of militarism in any form, I'll concede that in most cases even this crass form of initiation can produce admirable men—men who have not only strength and skills, but a sense of purpose greater than themselves. Our armed forces are worthy of the respect that they receive. What turns boys to men is this kind of ritualized initiation—a process that's significantly lacking in the development of the youngster who's portrayed in “Boyhood,” as it is to the majority of us today. Of myself, if I'm to be honest, I must acknowledge that I reached some measure of manhood only in my fifties. For genuine initiation in our culture we have substituted such tepid rituals as Christian confirmations and bar mitvahs.

They don't do the trick. In traditional cultures, the transition was a far more dangerous journey, involving genuine threat to life and limb as boys were sent out into wilderness or jungle to temper the vulnerability and fearfulness of boyhood into the steel they would need to function as a man. We in the modern Western world have no wild animals to deal with, unless we count those within. We forget that these are powerful enough to rule our lives if we don't learn to acknowledge and confront them. The early myth of initiation for us is the ordeal of the knight apprentice, who rides out into the forest to test his mettle against the dark knight—or the dragon—and returns prepared to serve his queen.

What is integrity? In simple terms, it is the fortitude to say fearlessly exactly what I mean, and do exactly what I say. Which implies, of course, a clear vision about who I am and what I am given to do. If I'm in doubt or confusion, I lack resolve. I dither. The answer lies not in denying doubt and confusion—they are a part of being human. No one escapes them. In denying them I risk precipitous and futile action, when what I need first is to consult the inner wisdom that I've wrestled with myself to find, and rediscover the clarity before I act. A man of integrity is a man who “has his act together,” in the sense that his actions are in full congruence with his words. He has “integrated” the four mainstays of his being: mind and body, feeling and spirit, and they are properly in balance. Action that is not backed by all four of these in unison–action that lacks thought, or heart, or energy, or purpose–is as ineffectual as the failure to act at all.

Inseparable from a man's integrity, then, is the understanding that he has left behind the innocence of boyhood, along with the freedom that accompanied it. He lives in a world of accountability to others and acknowledges his duty (yes, sorry, a quaint, old-fashioned concept!) to serve others than himself. Sadly, it's true that most of us fail to live up to this ideal. We look around us, searching vainly for the most part for our Mahatma Gandhis, our Nelson Mandelas, our Martin Luther Kings—men who were certainly not lacking in the failings that made them human, but who managed to be magnificently greater than their weaknesses, and of spectacular, historical service to their fellow human beings.

We cannot all be men like these, but we can be men. Without the challenge of traditional initiation rites, we are required to find, or invent, our own journey from boyhood into manhood. It is no easy task to face the darkness and the inner demons that, without our awareness, can control our destinies. All of us need some form of support as we make that journey: a church, perhaps, a spiritual guide, a trained therapist… And the journey, for most of us, is never ending. Who can sit back on his laurels and say with certainty: I have reached the fullness of my manhood? Even in, at best, my last quarter here among the living, I still struggle with my own.

So we leave our young protagonist, in “Boyhood,” with the journey into manhood still ahead of him. He may already have been initiated into sex and drugs, into the drudgery of work and now, finally, the college dormitory, but none of these has opened the door to the real, deep, inner work he will have to do if he is to become the man he needs to be if he is to fulfill his life's destiny. And that is yet to come…

Watch for Peter Clothier's forthcoming novel about masculine sexuality, “The Pilgrim's Staff” (an old euphemism for the penis.) It's told by two narrators, a contemporary figure painter and and 18th century English gentleman. Frank sex scenes and potboiler excitement! Peter is a 1994 NWTA initiate, a one-time active Ritual Elder, and a well-known art writer. His latest book, “Slow Looking: The Art of Looking at Art,” explores the values of contemplation and meditation. Feel free to write him at peter clothier@mac.com .

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The Transformational Power of Daily Rituals

By Gonzalo Salinas

According to Charles Duhigg author of The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business , approximately 40% of what we do every day, we do unconsciously. We have formed a habit that we tend to repeat every day, and it's making our choices for us.

So, think about all the things you do every day. Some of them probably don't serve your highest purpose but still, you repeat them religiously … even knowing specific behaviors are putting you away of the reality you want to live. Duhigg explains that every time you repeat those habits your brain reinforces them … so it craves, later on, this repetition. Even if is not beneficial, you get a neuro-chemical reward in your brain that not only will create some sort of addiction but also reinforces the identity you have created for yourself.

I have tried many times to change bad habits and create new ones. With a sincere heart I must confess that I have failed more times than I have succeeded. But I noticed something happened every time I was succeeding; the positive new habits were daily rituals.

Ja. I do have rituals. Ritual – “a series of actions or type of behavior regularly and invariably followed by someone.” I repeat certain rituals every day, and believe me dear reader of the MKP Journal, to repeat an action every day, is not an easy task, especially when I am trying to create a new self.

Let me share some daily rituals hoping that this will inspire action to enhance lives.

I do my rituals first thing in the morning: I wake up and I go for a run. The running part is simple. I already told myself that as soon as I hear the alarm I must jump out of the bed. At the beginning it was hard, now is automatic. My recommendation is to avoid dealing with ANY logistics – so your sportswear must be ready next to the bed from the previous night.

rising-sun

A second ritual is: I carry in my wallet one handwritten page. One side of the page is divided in two: on the left side I have a few statements: my flaws or weaknesses to become aware of what I want to change, and on the right side my good qualities and virtues to remind myself the tools I have for my own growth. Deliberately this second list is bigger than the first one. On the other side of the paper I've written a brief composition about who I want to be. I've included goals and projects and a description of how I see myself in the next three years.

I read this paper three times a day. As soon as I wake up, at lunch time, and before I go to sleep. It takes me two minutes each reading. When I read it I focus on staying present: just reading.

Third: In the morning I also do a brief visualization … right before I come back from running I stop and I visualize: It takes me three to five minutes. I visualize the same three goals I have written on the paper I carry on my wallet.

Finally, is my gratitude time. On a notebook I got specifically for gratitude, right before I go to sleep, I write three things that I'm grateful for that day. It doesn't matter if it's as simple as “the kid I saw having some ice cream at Lincoln road in South Beach.” If I feel like writing it, I write it. Then I say a brief prayer, and I go to sleep.

These four rituals have changed my life   dramatically in the last two years. Have I been 100% consistent with them?… absolutely not. I used to give to myself a guilt trip, this usually led me to abandon my regular practice for a while. If for some reason I miss my rituals now, instead of the self punishment, I just carry on.

That's it. Just a couple of thing before I finish: You may notice that my rituals are very simple; they are simple because when I create a complex plan, I find I'm planning to fail. Start small and keep going; it is a great exercise of self love.

And lastly, be creative with your rituals! Some people create a vision boards with images, others do mantras or incantations, others meditate or do breathing exercises. The rituals become habits because of repetition, and the daily practice causes transformation.

I've got more from my 2 years of rituals than from my entire previous life without them. Use them and then you tell me!

Gonzalo photo

Gonzalo Salinas is an Assistant Editor for the ManKind Project Journal, a publication of the ManKind Project, a nonprofit mentoring and training organization offering powerful opportunities for men's personal growth at any stage of life. Salinas studied Literature in Lima, Peru at San Marcos University, and has been living in the United States since 2003. He lives in Miami, FL. Salinas is committed to his own personal development, and to spreading the word about the vision and mission of the Mankind Project .

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Your Distraction Vortex – Purpose Block #3

by Chris Kyle

If you missed the special Live Q&A call on April 15 for the Man on Purpose Course and want to listen to the audio, go to the Man on Purpose Course web site to listen.

Over the last week, I've shared with you the first two core Purpose Blocks which are:

Purpose Block #1 = the Fear Triad
Purpose Block #2 = the Doubting Voice

Now it's time to explore the third of the 3 Purpose Blocks. Purpose Block #3 is the Distraction Vortex .

In our modern, media-saturated and technology-driven culture we have a never-ending list of things we can do in our daily lives to keep us busy and our schedules extremely full.

The daily choices are mind-boggling … TV shows, books, internet surfing, sports, phone calls, porn, email, movies, hobbies — and on and on and on. And all of this is in addition to our daily work (that hopefully pays the bills).

All these possible activities make up the Distraction Vortex: a swirling pool of constant and seemingly endless things TO DO … that can suck up all of our precious time.

None of these activities, in and of themselves, are inherently “good” or “bad.” However, if we are spending much of our time in the Distraction Vortex — there is a good chance that we are also distracting ourselves from what we might want most in our lives: deeper connection, greater joy, more meaning, and a clearer sense of purpose.

And because the journey into these states can be more subtle and unclear, it's frankly easier and likely more soothing to numb-out or check-out with a juicy distraction like a TV show, a series of YouTube videos, or a trashy novel.

The challenge and question is, “How do I consciously navigate this Distraction Vortex, so it doesn't suck up all of my time — and instead frees up my time for focusing on living more fully into my purpose?”

Here are three steps you can take to help set you free from the Distraction Vortex.

1. Slow Down and Observe Your Activity
The first step is to use whatever stillness practice you have, like meditation or mindfulness, to slow yourself down each day (and if you don't have one, then start one), and begin to observe what pulls your attention toward what you would consider unhealthy distractions.

Then take on a one week “distraction awareness practice” by tracking where you are spending your time in the activities that you consider distractions. This brings to conscious awareness what activities YOU use as distractions to not face something else in your life.

2. Notice What You're Avoiding
The second step is to notice what you may be avoiding in your life that the distractions helps you not have to face. It is typically something you don't want to look at, and which makes you uncomfortable… something that you struggle with in your life.

Being more conscious of the activity, feeling or the energy that you're avoiding helps to burst the bubble on your distraction patterns. Now you have the awareness to make a new choice about whether to engage the specific distractions or not.

3. Recommit with Support
As you see more clearly how your particular distractions don't serve you, you can now recommit yourself to the actions and activities that truly support and serve you — your own growth and your purpose.

By declaring your commitment to the activities that feed your passions and purpose to another person close to you helps you stay accountable to not slipping back into the unhealthy distractions. This support is key to breaking out of the Distraction Vortex.

In the Man on Purpose Course, starting tomorrow (April 17, 2014), we spend two of the 7 weeks on looking at the patterns and habits that take us out of the fuller expression of our authentic power, creativity and purpose. This helps clear the way to bringing more energy and power to our purpose.

To your distraction-free purpose,
Chris

PS The Man on Purpose Course starts tomorrow, April 17th, and there's still time to register and lock in your seat in the course. Go here to register for the course. One man who took the course last year said:

“The course opened me up to the desire and passion to start living as a man who lives to be more of service in all aspects of life. Not “what is my purpose?” but rather how to LIVE with purpose!” — Edward Werger

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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Curious about Why you are Here? Special Q&A Call!

Special Q&A Call Tonight & Important Announcement

We've received a lot of great questions over the last week around the topic of purpose and wanting to know more about our upcoming course — Man On Purpose: The Essential 7-Week Online Course for Men which starts on April 17th.

As I mentioned in my last post, George Daranyi and I will be hosting a special interactive Q&A call tonight – Tuesday April 15th. We will be answering some of the most frequently asked questions about the course, and also about how you can access your hidden power to activate your passions and purpose in the world.

If you have any lingering questions about the course, please join this special Q&A call TONIGHT, MARCH 15TH at 5:30 pm Pacific Time to get the answers you need.

===========================================

Here's how to access the Q&A Session with George and me:

TONIGHT at 5:30 pm Pacific / 8:30 pm Eastern / 12:30 am+1 UTC

To listen by webcast online, go to:

http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventid=54169320

To listen by phone dial:
Number: (425) 440-5100
Access code: 405934#

============================================

A number of men who have experienced the work with us were eager to share how it had improved and changed their lives:

“They showed me how I had been asleep for most of my life, and how I needed to “awaken” and take charge of my life, to take responsibility and be accountable for my actions. In the program, I received the tools to get back into integrity with my family, my friends, and mainly with myself… I learned that it in order to make a difference in this world, to live into my purpose, I first had to change myself.” — Joe A.

“Chris' approach helped me to see where I'm not showing up fully in my life and the shadows that were holding me back. His intuition and awareness guided me to confront these shadows and helped me stay present, even when it was uncomfortable. With Chris's help, I found my growing edge and learned how to take what I experienced in the sessions into my professional and social life, my intimate relations and most of all, my inner journey. By experiencing this place of “deep knowingness”, purpose and fierce love, I experienced the essence of my true nature.” — Tim C.

I also wanted to let you know that our 3-payment option ends this Friday. So if you're planning to register for the course and would benefit from the option of spreading the payments over three months, be sure to register by tomorrow to take advantage of this opportunity.

To learn more and register visit the course information page.

To living your purpose,
Chris Kyle & George Daranyi

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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What is your Doubting Voice keeping you from? – Purpose Block #2

If you missed the first post: here are the 3 Purpose Blocks:
The Fear Triad
The Doubting Voice
The Distraction Vortex

As we move further along our purpose journey path we're likely to run into the second purpose block: The Doubting Voice.

This Doubting Voice inside you might sound like this:

  • Do you really think you can live your purpose — what about making enough money for the family?
  • It sounds too risky to shift careers now… why would you want to do that?
  • Where will you get the support to take on this new project?
  • What happens if it doesn't work out?
  • Do you think you have the talent to write your book, it's really difficult…

Essentially, this inner voice is that part of our thought pattern that is negatively questioning everything we say or do.

Og problemet er at når Doubting Voice kolliderer med ditt kall, din utfolder formål, så det ønsker å finne alle måter å holde deg fra å gå til "ukjente edge" - til steder som du må for å utvide selv, til risiko, og å vokse i sannsynlig ubehagelig måter.

Den tvilende Voice oppgave er å eliminere risiko, holde ting "safe", og å ikke være ubehagelig. Dette setter selvsagt du på kant med deg selv til tider, og hvorfor det er en kjerne blokk til å leve ditt formål.

Så, hvordan arbeider vi med og nøytralisere vår Doubting Voice?

Jeg har funnet ut at den beste måten å jobbe med Doubting Voice er å bli venner med den.

Jeg vet, lettere sagt enn gjort. Men her er min prosessen med å be-frien, eller sagt på en annen måte, integrere min indre tviler.

Begynn med å navngi Doubting Voice i deg. Du kan kalle det: Tvil Dude, eller cantankerous Cathy, eller bare Mr. tviler. Hva dette er todelt:

Bringer letthet og humor til at en del av oss selv som er ganske tung og en limiter til vår fulle, autentiske uttrykk
Lar vitne del av deg selv til å komme, slik at du kan se det store perspektiv utover din engstelig, tvile ego-sinn tanker / stemmer.

Da er det på tide å ha en kort dialog med tvil. Det flyter som dette:

"Mr. Tviler, har du noen sanne visdom for meg at jeg bør vite om? "Her undersøker for viktig informasjon som kan være i tvile stemme. En kjerne av sannhet som du mener kan være viktig for problemet for hånden. Lytt til hva som kommer tilbake.

Så si til deg selv: "Takk for deling. Jeg trenger deg ikke på dette tidspunktet. Jeg er nå kommer til å gjøre plass til et valg som er for mitt høyeste gode -. Min myndighet valg "

Og nå er det plass til å gjøre et nytt valg mot formålet, mot det som gir deg mer levende.

I Man on Purpose Course , vil George Daranyi og jeg snakker om hvordan du slår dine negative indre stemmer (det vi kaller Indre Bullies) til allierte for vekst og ekspansjon. Så, oppfordrer jeg deg til å la din Doubting Voice bli den nye drivstoff for vekst, for en dypere selv-aksept, som vil bringe mer energi og klarhet til formålet arbeid.

Til formålet eventyr,
Chris

PS George og jeg er vert for en spesiell live-Q & A Call på tirsdag 15 april på 5:30 PT / 20:30 ET å svare på alle dine spørsmål om den kommende Man on Purpose Course , som starter 17. april. Mark deg kalendere nå, og vi skal sende ut Adgang Detaljer på mandag. Gå hit for å lære mer og melde seg på kurset.

Chris Kyle

Chris har trent og trent hundrevis av mennesker til å oppnå større suksess i sine virksomheter og deres liv. I samarbeid med menneskeheten Project® USA, han nylig opprettet The Power of Purpose Summit og Man On Purpose nettbasert kurs. Han er også co-skaperen, med Amy Ahlers, av den pågående tele-serien, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

I tillegg til hans ledelse utviklingsarbeid, har Chris tilbrakt over 24 år som utøvende, entreprenør, konsulent og business coach, som arbeider i Fortune 500-selskaper og eie sin egen øko-eventyr reise selskap. Chris uteksaminert fra Stanford University, hvor han studerte statsvitenskap. Han bor sammen med sin kone i Nord-California.

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Hva stopper deg fra å kreve eller mer fullstendig leve ditt formål?

Utfordringen jeg ser stadig med folk som ønsker klarhet i formål, eller ønsker å få mer energi eller fokus til det, er at det er minst en stor blokk   (Om ikke flere) i sitt liv som holder dem fra å være fullt engasjert og opplyst av deres formål.

Jeg vil gjerne dele med deg de beste 3 Formål Blocks   som jeg har oppdaget gjennom formålet arbeidet jeg har gjort med hundrevis av mennesker gjennom årene; og deretter hvordan å gå gjennom disse blokkene. I dag skal jeg fokusere på Purpose Block # 1.

Her er de tre Formål blokker:

  1. The Fear Triad
  2. Den Doubting Voice
  3. Den Distraksjon Vortex

Formål Block # 1 er Fear Triad. Jeg har stadig funnet tre spesifikke frykt for at folk møter når du dykker ned oppdage deres formål, eller når de prøver å sette visjonen om deres formål til handling i verden. De tre kjerne formål frykten er:

  • Frykt for Survival (mest økonomiske)
  • Frykt for å mislykkes
  • Frykt for latterliggjøring

Overlevelsesinstinkt er dypt forankret i vår gamle hjernen, reptilian hjernen, og er nå, i vår moderne kultur, hovedsakelig knyttet til våre økonomiske ressurser.

Fear of Survival   utfolder seg slik: Hvis du velger å gå etter formålet, å leve det fullt, så kan det renne ALLE dine ressurser og / eller ikke være bærekraftig i fremtiden, og du vil ikke "gjøre det" - du vil ikke overleve. Du vil ikke være i stand til å betale regninger og mate familien. Så det er bare lettere å unngå spørsmålet om hensikten helt enn å innse muligheten for at du ikke kan overleve ved å etterleve "fantasy" for formålet.

Frykten for å mislykkes inne vårt formål leting kan bli mer uttalt fordi samtalen av vårt formål kan strekke oss inn i ukjente områder, eller teste oss med nye tilnærminger eller konsepter.

Det kan utfolde seg slik: Hvis du går for hva du virkelig ønsker, formålet, og mislykkes; så du har mislyktes på virkelig store i livet - å leve ditt formål "Dette ville ikke bare være sviktende på et prosjekt eller en oppgave, men kan ha en følelse av en" hel-person feil. "- budskapet er:" Jeg er en svikt i mitt liv. "
Frykten for latterliggjøring utfolder seg slik: hvis formålet kaller deg til å gjøre noe annerledes i livet ditt, for å ta på seg en ny visjon for livet ditt med et nytt sett av handlinger, kan du finne deg selv misforstått av familie, venner, kolleger og kanskje til og med din partner.

Dette utsetter deg for folks reaksjoner, sin egen frykt og deres latterliggjøring. Frykten kan oppstå at du vil bli ledd, fornedret eller avvist fordi dine ideer synes ikke-konvensjonell eller rett og slett merkelig for andre.
Så, her er det 3-trinns flyt av hvordan man arbeider med disse naturlige frykt i Fear Triad:

> Bevissthet om Fear
Merke til og erkjenner frykt. Det er viktig å stoppe deg selv og ta en dypere titt inne på hva denne frykten er for deg. Navngi dem på din egen måte og i dine ord. Bringe dem ut av skyggen og inn i lyset av ditt bevisste sinn er det første skrittet.

> Tillat og Embrace
Når du er klar over din unike smaken av frykt, så er du klar til å omfavne denne frykten som rett og slett en del av deg og en mekanisme som ditt ego-sinnet bruker for å holde deg trygg.

Dette betyr å akseptere frykt med selv medfølelse og ser det som en naturlig del av din vekst og utvikling som menneske. Det er viktig for deg å se din tendens til å skyve frykten bort, å benekte det eller late som om det ikke er der.

> Åpen for et nytt valg
Som du tillate og omfavne din frykt, begynner det å miste sitt grep og makt over deg. Det kan fortsatt være der, men det er blitt sett, navngitt og omfavnet. Så nå er det på tide å gjøre et nytt valg som støtter ditt høyeste veksten og ringer i øyeblikket.

Det du trodde var bare ikke mulig før på grunn av en av disse frykt, nå kan synes mulig. Gjør et nytt valg som tjener deg og din lidenskapelige, kreative uttrykk.

I Man on Purpose 7-Week Online Course lærer vi deg et kraftig verktøy kalt Reframing prosess som vil hjelpe deg å reframe frykten meldinger og skift dem til nye muligheter og nye valg.
Gå til vår informasjonsside kurs for å lære mer.

Chris Kyle

Chris har trent og trent hundrevis av mennesker til å oppnå større suksess i sine virksomheter og deres liv. I samarbeid med menneskeheten Project® USA, han nylig opprettet The Power of Purpose Summit og Man On Purpose nettbasert kurs. Han er også co-skaperen, med Amy Ahlers, av den pågående tele-serien, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

I tillegg til hans ledelse utviklingsarbeid, har Chris tilbrakt over 24 år som utøvende, entreprenør, konsulent og business coach, som arbeider i Fortune 500-selskaper og eie sin egen øko-eventyr reise selskap. Chris uteksaminert fra Stanford University, hvor han studerte statsvitenskap. Han bor sammen med sin kone i Nord-California.

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Wake up call

Kategori: Memoir

Gonzalo Salinas

Every morning after my run on the beach and my morning rituals, as I drive to work, I see the kids from the South Beach Elementary crossing the street, I see the cuban windows full of people buying their morning cafe cubano , I see the many yoga fans carrying their mat to their morning practice and I see the magic atmosphere of the beach waking up and starting the day.

I cross the MacArthur causeway admiring the breathtaking view, with the Miami skyline and the port of Miami on one side and the mansions in front of the ocean and the Miami bay on the other one. I take the I95, my usual shortcut to the roads in Coral Way to get to my office.

I'm grateful for all the things I get to see every morning. Hvorfor? Because everything I get to see every day is a blessing. I know it firsthand…

south beach

When I was a kid, I absolutely loved to play. I was always organizing the games. I remember always playing with my older brothers, with my friends or my cousins. Inventing games, running, jumping, screaming … one of my favorites was playing soccer with a paper ball covered in duct tape. I was always busy being a kid.

Sometimes at school, the bell rang earlier than usual. I was very happy because I had the chance to go home and play, but, at that young age, I wasn't aware of how dangerous the reason was of why they were sending us home hours before the end of the school day.

My grade school was threatened by the terrorist movements of Shining Path or the Tupac Amaru Revolutionary Movement. Both terrorist groups that had taken my city, Lima, and were destroying everything they touched. When they threatened the school, the only solution was sending everyone home for the day. Most of the time, these were false alarms, somebody calling for no reason, but in the rest of the city, you couldn't go to a cafe or a restaurant because the terrorist were bombing the commercial areas, public offices, banks, private companies and every public place you could possibly imagine, spreading chaos and terror all over Lima and the rest of the country.

I grew up on that environment, without being aware of the constant risk that was just walking on the streets of my city. In 12 years of horror from 1980 to 1992, the result was approximately 70 thousand people killed. Fortunately the Peruvian government was able to bring the terror to an end.

There are many places in the world right now, like Pakistan, Iraq or Somalia where terrorism is part of the daily life. I feel so blessed to live where I live now. And I am awake – awake to the reality that not everyone experiences the world I live in. And I am also responsible for staying awake.

So every morning, I am grateful for what I see on my way to work. Gratitude, for me, is the opposite of fear. Be grateful for what you have and send your positive energies or say a prayer for those places where terror is the reality. I pray for a world where all the kids can go to the streets, and play.

Gonzalo photo

Gonzalo Salinas is an Assistant Editor for the ManKind Project Journal, a publication of the ManKind Project, a nonprofit mentoring and training organization offering powerful opportunities for men's personal growth at any stage of life. Salinas studied Literature in Lima, Peru at San Marcos University, and has been living in the United States since 2003. He lives in Miami, FL. Salinas is committed to his own personal development, and to spreading the word about the vision and mission of the Mankind Project .

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Lighting the Darkness – Lumos

Guest Post

New Warrior Brother Michael Marlin from Hawaii will enlighten audiences with his stage production of LUMA: Art in Darkness during a ten-city tour at performing art centers across the country beginning March 28th.

A top comedy juggler who played Las Vegas and opened for the likes of Jay Leno, Jerry Seinfeld, George Carlin, and REM, Marlin walked away from his successful solo career in 1986. He sold his house in Redondo Beach, CA and moved to the island of Hawaii to co-found an alternative community while building and living in a tree house with no electricity.

In 1989 while standing on an active lava flow he noticed the hypnotic effect it had on people and had the epiphany, “All life is drawn to light.”

This was the genesis of LUMA, a show that has now appeared in 15 countries, 44 states and has been touring since 1998. LUMA, with a cast of seven, is a show about the subject of light that combines all manner of physical disciplines from rhythmic gymnastics, puppetry, magic, dance, acrobatics, physics and experimental methods.

Fused with a myriad of light technology from incandescent to bioluminescent, from LEDs to lasers, the tour will take it from Arizona to Massachusetts over a five-week period.

“Three years ago Marlin came to Houston and opened with his juggling act,” Sonny Elliot, a ManKind Project ritual elder recalls, “[LUMA] was a brilliant and over-the-top performance. With the 'visual' music and 'technical' dancing, along with the crowd's enthusiasm, it was a home run.”

In manifesting his vision of LUMA, Marlin encountered a lot of skepticism. He has stayed true to his brainchild, expanding the show and building on new technology as it has evolved, watching as other artists have recently flirted with some of the theatrical light elements he has pioneered, popularizing it on shows like “America's Got Talent”.

Marlin has long been a pioneer and visionary. His work in the field of comedy and juggling back in the 70's and early 80's influenced a generation of jugglers who followed. Barry Friedman from the ManKind Project in Northern California and half of the juggling duo “The Raspini Brothers”, reports, “I remember standing in our family kitchen when I was 18 years old and seeing Michael Marlin on a TV show called Real People.”

“It showed me a bigger picture of what was possible if I stuck with juggling: the possibility of having fun and making people laugh. Marlin has continued to raise the bar both artistically and professionally. His show LUMA has brilliantly merged the visual appeal of juggling with the mind-boggling technology of electronically controlled lighting.”

COME SEE LUMOS

Come see LUMOS this spring.

“The journey to take a vision bigger than one person can pull off and turn it into a physical manifestation with so many moving parts was daunting,” says Marlin. “The work I have done in the ManKind Project has helped me in an incalculable way in my ability to lead others in a clean way and not pull my hair out, (or theirs) when things don't go as planned.”

“I have no doubt that the ripples Marlin is making in the lives of both his audiences and the members of his cast will spread out and touch millions of lives,” said Friedman.

Ticket information and videos of LUMA can be found online at http://www.lumatheater.com .

Show Schedule:

March 26th Gilbert, AZ – Higley Center
April 4th Ft. Collins, CO – Lincoln Center
April 6th Santa Fe, NM – Lensic Theater
April 7th Las Vegas, NM – University of New Mexico Highland Center
April 11th Chippewa Falls, WI – Heyde Center
April 12th Madison, WI – Barrymore Theater
April 13th Schaumberg, IL – Prairie Performing Arts Center
April 20/21st Roanoke, VA – Jefferson Center
April 27th Storrs, CT – University of Connecticut Jorgensen Center
April 29th Queens, NY – Queens College
May 2nd Worcester, MA – Hanover Theater

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Video: “The Revolution is Love” with Charles Eisenstein

shared by Chris Kyle

This powerful 4-minute video features Charles Eisenstein, author of Sacred Economics , from a documentary about the Occupy Movement. Charles will be a featured speaker at the ManKind Project USA's upcoming Power of Purpose Online Summit in March 2014 (more details are coming soon).

I love Charles' last line of this video clip: “…Everybody has a unique calling and it's really time to listen to that. That's what the future is going to be. It's time to get ready for it, and contribute to it, and help make it happen.”

Charles Eisenstein is a teacher, speaker, and writer focusing on themes of civilization, consciousness, money, and human cultural evolution. He is the author of 6 books includingSacred Economics, The Ascent of Humanity and The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible.

“Remember that self-doubt is as self-centered as self-inflation. Your obligation is to reach as deeply as you can and offer your unique and authentic gifts as bravely and beautifully as you're able.”
— Bill Plotkin, author of Soulcraft*

* Bill is also speaking at the Power of Purpose Summit in March.

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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My Elder Soul ~ a poem

Category: Men as Elders , Poetry

by Reuel Czach

Elders, we are losing our Soul.
We are so caught up individually in petty offenses
and bickering and wounded-ness,
that we are letting our civilization and our planet die.
But most importantly,
we are letting our souls die.

When I chose to be wounded,
and walk through life withdrawn in my cave,
or I choose to be over-armored,
to the point of being weighed down,
with such heavy baggage,
nothing else matters,
…..my soul is lost.

I chose to take a step toward claiming,
my lost soul,
when I chose to meet with men in an honest, open circle.

I choose my soul,
when I decide to be so humble,
that no one can offend me.

I choose my soul,
when I chose wisdom,
over being right.

I choose my soul,
when I chose service,
over selfishness.

I choose my soul,
when I chose looking within,
to find all the evil I see outside myself.

I choose my soul,
when I walk the path of life,
where I am nothing,
and I am everything,
in sacred balance.
My choices mean everything,
my offenses mean nothing.

My offenses mean I still have inner work to do
and for the sake of generations to come,
I better get it done as quickly as possible.

My choices mean I have the power to save myself,
my loved ones, my friends, and possibly many more people,
from a mean, selfishness and a lonely death.

I feel great sadness and sorrow,
for all that is being lost.

While the distractions of hurt,
wounded-ness and bickering,
suck so much energy out of my soul,
…..and the soul of my people.

Every hurt and wound and chance to be right,
is a mirror of my soul,
and an opportunity to heal.

Do it! Choose healing.
Then choose wisdom and kindness,
and be the Elder you were meant to be.

Distractions are my enemy,
anything that tries to pull me off,
my narrow mission.

I just need to let Spirit control my life,
where my spirit joins and serves,
a much bigger wisdom,
than I could ever fully understand.

I am asked this day to request of myself,
and men who call themselves Elders.
A humble request,
that we focus on the wisdom to light a path,
for those who come after us.
Humble man, Jan 2014

Reuel Czach

Reuel Czach is a 60 year old, Christian man with a wonderful wife and two sons, a daughter and a stepson. He has lived in San Luis Obispo County, California for over 30 years and practiced architecture for most of those years. Czach is an I-Group Coordinator for the Swallow Creek Coastal Circle in Cayucos. He actively supports and builds the Elder community in San Luis Obispo and is the Co-Elder Chair of the MKP Santa Barbara Community. Czach leads a weekly men's circle in my church and is a leader in the men's ministry.

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My Purpose Over My Relationship?

by Chris Kyle

I came across this quote from David Deida (author of Way of the Superior Man ) a couple of days ago:

“Admit to yourself that if you had to choose one or the other, the perfect intimate relationship or achieving your highest purpose in life, you would choose to succeed at your purpose. Just this self-knowledge often relieves much pressure a man feels to prioritize his relationship when, in fact, it is not his highest priority.”

I have to say right off the bat, that when I first read this quote I thought to myself… do I have to choose one OVER the other?

And then another part of me stood up (in my head, of course) and said “that's right, achieving my highest purpose would definitely rock!”

Clearly there's a conflict running inside me regarding how I prioritize living my purpose as a man, and where I place my relationship.

So, as I look at my own life to investigate this question of the priority of purpose, I do see that I am most alive, engaged and passionate when I'm doing what I love, giving my gifts and bringing my purpose forward to serve others.

And if I decided to choose my relationship OVER living fully into my purpose, I think a part of me would shrivel up. And I know that my power and confidence would be diminished in the world.

And at the end of the day, I don't want living my purpose to hurt or damage my relationship with my wife. I know that I can give my full presence and heart to my relationship without sacrificing my purpose.

But real juice and fire in our relationship comes from me making bold choices to follow my heart and gut, and give my gifts, my purpose with passion and without apology. And my wife finds this super sexy and is proud of me even during the times I am putting my purpose work above our relationship time.

The twist here is that in my experience living boldly into my purpose, with all the triumphs and failures that goes with that, my relationship thrives.

And of course, my purpose as I shared it above applies to my wife as well (she's a “being” too), and so I can be in my purpose through supporting her on her path of growth.

What I hear from many men that I work with is that they are trying so hard to make their relationship work or to please their partner so they can have a more harmonious and “easy” life.

The challenge of putting their relationship above the full expression of their purpose, is that it diminishes the energy, fire and confidence in themselves that could infuse the relationship with much needed passion or juiciness.

So here's how I have learned to hold this priority tension between relationship and purpose. I give my full presence, attention and heart to my relationship whenever we are together. I am not half-there or checked out because I'm thinking about work, or half-listening to her because my purpose work is invading my thoughts and it's THE PRIORITY.

Rather, when I'm engaged in my purpose work, I'm there fully and making that a priority in my life even if it means making some difficult choices about the time I spend with my wife.

I find that the natural balance arises when I am passionately engaged in my purpose AND I bring that juice and fire into my relationship with full presence and an open heart — regardless of how much time we have with each other (days or minutes).

And you know, I still reserve the right to make my relationship the focus of my purpose at any given time if it needs it and demands more of me for a period of time. How's that for a slick caveat — and it's been true at specific times in my life.

Keep working your purpose edge, bring full presence to each moment, keep your heart open and you'll see your life soar… in both your purpose AND your relationship.

CK

PS What do you think? Legg igjen en kommentar!

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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The World Needs More Elders

By Donald Clerc

What's the difference between being an Elder and being elderly? I never really thought about that question until joining the ManKind Project two years ago.

I'm 57, have three grown children, one young grandchild, and own my own business. So I've “been around the block” a few times and have learned a thing or two along the way. But no one had challenged me on what I can do with that experience and wisdom in this second half of my life.

What are the characteristics of an Elder? We all know of older people who do not behave in an Elder way. And we also know of younger people who already exhibit Elder-like qualities. Here's what I see are some of the qualities and behaviors of an Elder:

• Speaking the truth with authority and wisdom.
• Speaking with kindness and a fierce authenticity at the same time.
• Having a gracious and open heart.
• Standing for higher values and strong standards of behavior.
• Drawing the line against counterproductive behavior.
• Giving, serving, honoring and blessing others.
• Standing in responsible support of leaders.
• Knowing when all you need to do is be present and listen.

Old-People Being an Elder is not the same as being elderly. Just because you are older doesn't make you wise. And if you don't share that hard-won wisdom with others, then you are not benefiting society as an Elder.

Being an Elder is not the same as being a leader. The Elder looks out for the leaders and the lead alike. The Elder uses his wisdom and experience for the good of everyone. His honesty and values help the young to mature and help the already mature to stay in touch with their core values.

Many other societies honor their Elders. It seems like our materialistic society only honors those people (young or old) who buy things, make things, or do things. How does one get honored for being and sharing wisdom? Elders can help the younger generations focus on developing their core values and stop being overly focused on material things.

Where can today's Elders practice their craft? I grew up in a Presbyterian church, which is run by Elders by design. But outside of organized religion, schools and businesses, where else can Elders give of their gifts? If our communities can learn to utilize all of this elder wisdom in an organized way, everyone benefits.

What stops older people from stepping into the role of the Elder? The first obstacle to overcome is the assumption or lack of awareness that one is already an Elder simply because one has already experienced a half-century or more of life. The second obstacle is a lack of training on Elder-like behaviors. These behaviors are not difficult to learn – what most people need to learn are how to undo the negative habits that inhibit or cover their natural Elder qualities from coming out.

In conclusion, young people need more Elders in their lives. They grow up easier and with more maturity. I think it's time for older people need to step into their roles as Elders. This gives them a greater sense of fulfillment and contribution to society than continuing the consumerist behaviors of when they were younger.

What we still need are a way to train more people in the second half of their life to embrace their inner Elder. And we need to develop more avenues in society where Elders can give of their gifts to others.

Donald Clerc is a computer technologist and entrepreneur. He has over 30 years experience working with computers, and started his own computer consulting company 16 years ago. Before that he was an associate school psychologist. Donald is married (for over 35 years), has three grown children and one grandchild. He completed the New Warrior Training Adventure in 2011 and is a declared Elder in the Houston MKP Community.
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How we feel emotions in our Body

av Boysen Hodgson

from Discover Magazine

Research done by a group of scientists, recently published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences reveals some interesting facts about how human beings experience emotions in their bodies. For men involved in the ManKind Project, it was a nice affirmation of what we've been teaching and practicing for nearly 30 years.

In the ManKind Project, we see and hear men struggle to describe or name what they're feeling. Mad? Sad? Glad? Afraid? Ashamed? They frequently have an easy time saying what they think, or making statements that express judgment about what is happening around them, but when asked to name the emotional state they're experiencing … many men are stumped. For most of us, this is a result of being raised in families and in a culture that doesn't teach or model emotional literacy.

To help men learn what they are feeling and be able to name it; without expectation of changing it or shame for feeling it, we teach men to look their bodies for clues.

“What sensations are you feeling?”
“Where are the sensations in your body?”
“What color (shape, size, texture) might it have?”
and finally …
“If you were to give it a name … mad, sad, glad, afraid, ashamed … what would you call it?”

This basic template for exploration begins to tease apart the stories and narratives in our minds from the raw physical experience we are having in our bodies. Often this is the first step in decoupling habits of reaction so that men can make changes in their behaviors and beliefs about themselves and the world.

Emotion – the felt sense, the hormonal and neurological chain-reaction set into motion by thoughts and experiences of the world – is one of the most powerful sources of information we can harness to improve ourselves and have a positive impact on the world. Many of us create habits of denial, repression, and avoidance of our emotions that have wide ranging personal, interpersonal, and cultural impacts in our communities.

This is a great time to bear witness to the cultural awakening that is underway.

Men's Work – the difficult and fantastic process of waking up, growing up, and showing up in the world for the benefit of humanity – is main-stream. As soon as this article was published, ManKind Project men from around the world were sharing it with quips about printing it out as a quick reference guide for men beginning the exhilarating process of connecting 'head' and 'heart.'

Here is the link to the article:
How we feel emotions in our body

Boysen Hodgson

Boysen Hodgson er den Kommunikasjon og markedsdirektør for menneskeheten Prosjekt USA, en nonprofit veiledning og opplæring organisasjon som tilbyr kraftige muligheter for menns personlig vekst på ethvert stadium av livet. Boysen fikk sin BA med laud fra University of Massachusetts Amherst, etter å ha fullført to års Design kurs ved Cornell University. Han har hjulpet bedrifter og enkeltpersoner designe endringen de ønsker å se i verden i 15 år. Han er en dedikert mann.

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