Jeg ved traumer - et digt

Kategori: Mænd og Shadow , Poetry

af Les Gaines

Som om søvn i et hav af benægtelse, afsky min egen skygge,
min trofaste ven med mig sammen så mange miles.
Jeg kender lammende frygt for at træde ud over hoveddøren;
at håbet om et bedre liv var bedst at overlade ignoreret.

Jeg kender traumer.

Jeg ved, tvivlen, der kommer
når alle forkert synes rigtigt,
og alting rigtigt virker forkert;
når hver arm, men mine ser stærk.

Jeg kender hjælpeløshed for at forsøge at føle sig som noget,
mens min hjerne skriger at jeg er ingenting.

Jeg kender traumer.

Indtrængen af ​​fantom hænder, lyde og dufte
at krydse kløften af ​​tid at gøre faren føler så overhængende.
Flashbacks de kaldes,
af dem, der går med hukommelse intakt.
Jeg ved, hvor lang tid, at panik kan vare.

Men jeg ved også, magt godhed og Life
der afskærmer en soldat i den mest ondskabsfulde af slagsmål.
Jeg kender styrken af ​​hænder, klar til at overleve.

Du ser,
Jeg ved, hvordan man trives.
Sådan søger de uendelige ressourcer i sindet,
at låse kæder af skam genoprette uskyld,
Jeg troede efterladt.

Jeg kender kraften af ​​længsel efter frihed
der gjorde mig stå fra min crawl, og
smide væk, dørmåtte, der læser, "free-for-alle".

Dette er mit liv!
Og det er tid, jeg forandring
reglerne i den gamle misbrug spil
at genoprette hvert fragment af mig selv til sin retmæssige plads.

Jeg vil sige, hvem jeg er,
Kærlighed, liv og frihed.
Jeg er Choice. Jeg er Real.
Jeg er her ... med modet til at helbrede.

Les Gaines

Efter få sejr over invaliderende PTSD, Les Gaines vender tilbage til sin mission som en healer, coach, højttaler, og fortaler for handicappede overlevende fra barndommen traumer. Han er en certificeret metafysisk healer, og en ivrig studerende af jødisk / kristne mystik, og shamanisme. Les håber at dele sin rejse af healing og empowerment gennem hans kærlighed til poesi, kunst og musik. Les afsluttede New Warrior Training Adventure i august 2012, og er en taknemmelig medlem af BWOE igroup i MD.

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Sårede LEDERE: En Boganmeldelse

Kategori: Anmeldelser

GUEST POST af Peter Clothier

"sårede Ledere: Britisk elitisme og Retten Illusion," af Nick Duffell.

Først påtager fra denne bog undertitel, der er irrelevant for os her i Amerika, eller til vores ledelse. Det er af vital betydning, uanset specificitet hans mål. Nick Duffell titel vil have resonans for alle, der har levet gennem de sidste par årtier i Amerika og overvågede vores egne sårede ledere i action-eller rettere, passivitet. Sagt-og vi vil vende tilbage til dette, hans centrale argument er, at boarding-skole uddannede styrende elite i Storbritannien selv ubevidst styret af varige sår afholdt af oplevelsen af ​​at blive sendt væk fra familien i en tidlig alder, og placeret i et militaristisk miljø, hvor de lærer at beskytte sig mod en fjendtlig ydre verden.

Jeg kan tale til dette. Jeg er, hvad Duffell rammende betegner som en kostskole Survivor. Som praktiserende psykoterapeut, han har en mangeårig praksis designet til at bringe disse mennesker tilbage fra deres følelsesmæssige desorientering og isolation. Jeg kunne have brugt hans tjenester, længe siden, men måtte opdage min egen vej gennem denne labyrint. Jeg blev sendt væk til skole i en alder af syv, og med den tid, jeg undslap til frihed i en alder af atten, havde jeg fået en bemærkelsesværdig head-orienteret uddannelse, men forblev hvad jeg ofte beskriver som en følelsesmæssig krøbling. Jeg havde lært den dyre og farlige kunst svig og følelsesmæssig usårlighed. Som syv- eller otte år gammel, kunne jeg ikke råd til at gøre noget, men undertrykke de følelser, der ville åbne mig op for angreb fra mine-pensionærer: frygt, vrede, sorg, sorg, den frygtelige smerte for at blive adskilt fra forældrene som forsikrede mig, at de elskede mig-selv om det var svært at forstå paradokset af at være elsket og alligevel forvist fra familien, det sted af denne kærlighed.

Resultatet af min fremragende uddannelse var, at jeg aldrig voksede op. Tværtimod, det tog mig yderligere tre årtier, før jeg indså, at der var noget galt med at leve som en skildpadde i en skal. Boarding School Survivors, som Duffell beskriver dem, er forkrøblede så fanget i deres hoveder individer at de forbliver afbrudt fra deres hjerter. Jeg forenkler hans dybt velinformerede og subtile argumenter, hvis bundlinjen er, at Storbritanniens herskende elite, kostskole og Oxbridge-uddannede, er ekstremt ukvalificerede til at lede i vores enogtyvende århundrede verden, fordi de bliver så intenst fokuseret på deres forvrænget, rationelle vision af nationale og globale spørgsmål, at de forbliver uigennemtrængelig (usårlig) til det større billede af menneskelige behov. De er ude af stand til at lytte, til at leve sig ind i andre end sig selv og deres egen slags. De er styret af sikkerheden for deres egen følelse af retskaffenhed. At tvivle, at spørgsmål, for at have en forandring i hjertet er at være sårbare, og sårbarhed er den sidste ting i verden, de kan tillade sig. (Duffell sidste kapitel, på tvivl, er særligt veltalende og on-target.)

Jeg er ganske vist ukvalificeret til at vurdere de mere tekniske aspekter af Duffell argumentation. Til denne læser, synes han imponerende vidende og up-to-date med de nyeste opdagelser af neurovidenskab og akademisk psykologi. Han trækker på en bred forståelse af den filosofiske udvikling af rationalisme og dens kritikere, den udligningsafgift sociale bevægelser for undertrykkelse og oprør, og to sammenkædes hans argument i den historisk perspektiv. I vores moderne tider, hans forbilleder er primært folk som tidligere premierminister Tony Blair, Englands nuværende premierminister David Cameron, og London borgmester Boris Johnson, hvis holdninger og handlinger er dybt-og Duffell opfattelse-fejlagtigt reaktionære. Som han ser det, de mobbe og skrige deres vej forbi oppositionen ind forgæves militære handlinger og sociale programmer, der beriger allerede privilegerede og rige og bidrage til den fortsatte forarmelse af de trængende. Intet under, at England han beskriver, er en vred land.

Sent i bogen, Duffell udvider sin vision om en berettiget elite at omfatte kort henvisning til amerikanske ledere-især, naturligvis, George W. Bush, hvis blind og hensynsløs forfølgelse af en delusory besættelse skyndte os hovedkulds ind i krigen mod Irak. De katastrofale resultater er med os i dag, i form af et Mellemøsten i uendelig uro. Ser man på Amerika i dag-en nation af mennesker sikkert som vrede som den britisk-I'd hævder, at det, Duffell kalder Retten Illusion er på ingen måde begrænset til britiske elitisme. Vores ledere må også tælles blandt de sårede. Vores lederskab er domineret af mundhuggeri små drenge, der aldrig har vokset ud over behovet for at beskytte sig selv og deres eget territorium fra dem, der ikke er enige med dem. Vores politiske problemer er de samme som dem, Duffell beskriver i sit land: militarisme, misforstået og skadelige rationalisme, en mangel på empati for de fattige og underprivilegerede, en antagelse om retskaffenhed, der afviser andre synspunkter uden en høring, en vred afvisning af tvivl eller revurdering af tidligere haft synspunkter.

Ret, ville jeg argumentere, er ikke den eksklusive ejendom af den britiske elite. Jeg selv mener, det er også mere generelt en faktor historisk mandlig privilegium, den patriarkalske tradition. Der er en vedholdende myte i vores kultur, der ser mænd som rationelle væsener, kontrol over begivenhederne, i stand, praktiske, mens kvinderne er (stadig, i øjnene af alt for mange af os mænd) opfattes som irrationelle, styret af følelser snarere end årsag , og derfor mindre kompetent i lederstillinger. Duffell argumenterer lidenskabeligt for et midterste sti, en, der minimerer hverken grund eller følelser, men balancerer intelligenskvotient med den følelsesmæssige kvotienten, lederen med hjertet, fornuft med medfølelse og empati. Jeg er enig med ham, at medmindre vi som art kan finde denne balance, vi er i for farlige tider forude. Hans bog er en rettidig og vigtig påmindelse om behovet for at "ændre vores sind" på en fundamental måde, og åbne os for den magtfulde-og praktisk-visdom i hjertet. Jeg håber inderligt, at bogen vil finde læsere uden for hjemlandet, hvor han skriver. Dens indsigter er dybt nødvendig overalt, i hele verden.

Hold øje med Peter Clothier kommende roman om maskulin seksualitet, "The Pilgrims personale" (et gammelt eufemisme for penis.) Det er fortalt af to fortællere, en moderne figur maler og og 18. århundrede engelsk gentleman. Frank sexscener og potboiler spænding! Peter er en 1994 NWTA indlede, en engangs-aktiv Ritual ældste, og en velkendt art forfatter. Hans seneste bog, "Slow Looking: The Art of Ser man på Art", udforsker værdierne af fordybelse og meditation. Du er velkommen til at skrive ham på peter clothier@mac.com .

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En kreds af mænd

af Les Gaines

Jeg sidder i en cirkel med mænd
der er klar til at gå inden for,
hvis øjne blis som diamanter i forklædning
og hvis kroppe er klar med beslutsomhed.

Uvillige til at gå på kompromis,
og bruge kloge hoveder som honing-enhed,
brødrene lytte med.
For stønner og jamrer af skygger og tvivl
at fremsige, "Jeg er mindre end."

I denne kreds af mænd,
vi finder spor af håb, vi har set før,
skjult bag barndommen døre
vække smerte, vi skal udforske.

Og i denne rejse, vi finder vores livs mission
at være, hvem vi er, uden at søge tilladelse.
At gøre, hvad gode mænd altid har gjort,
være villig til at være "One."

I denne kreds af mænd,
en kriger stiger til den lejlighed,
at se verden, han gjorde
og hævder sin magt til at ændre det.

Her hænder slog på trommer,
Og, maskuline brøl danne vores sange,
kalder de fire retninger, himlen og jorden
og efter forfaders skuldre vi tage vores arbejde.

I denne kreds af mænd,
der er strøm til at vende malm til stål,
at opløse hver illusioner, der forhindrer
leve et liv, der er reel.

I denne kreds af mænd,
Der er sandhed i fremskrivningerne
og helbredelse, når en mand møder sine egne gyldne refleksioner.

Les Gaines

Efter få sejr over invaliderende PTSD, Les Gaines vender tilbage til sin mission som en healer, coach, højttaler, og fortaler for handicappede overlevende fra barndommen traumer. Han er en certificeret metafysisk healer, og en ivrig studerende af jødisk / kristne mystik, og shamanisme. Les håber at dele sin rejse af healing og empowerment gennem hans kærlighed til poesi, kunst og musik. Les afsluttede New Warrior Training Adventure i august 2012, og er en taknemmelig medlem af BWOE igroup i MD.

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Rising af grundlæggende godhed - legemliggørelsen i et globalt samfund

Kategori: Digte

Ved to Crows Opkald

Først tog vi et hårdt kig på vores ego self
Apropos vores følelser af hvad vi ønskede i kærlighed, arbejde og en fredelig verden
Opdage i vores dyader og i vores meditation, at hvad
Vi længtes efter var så ofte i nedbrydning,
"Gået i stå", ikke sker.

Vi så vores egen selvstændige sabotage, der lever i illusion, bedrag,
skyde skylden på andre, fanget i subtile forbruger og familie
dramaer. Vores liste af falske, cocoon træk ramte hjem
så uendeligt nedslående. For os, "ser godt" så ofte
vandt over blot at være godhed.

Sidder vi forbundet dybt med vores egen "messiness"
Vi havde sat vores vognen foran Wind hest i vores liv.
Vi var ikke lever fra Buddhas sidste ord
"Være en lampe til dig selv"

Hvilke held dharma overvandt vores tvivl, frygt og
frygtsomhed. Vi blev reddet af energier langt mere kraftfulde
og store end den dominerende kulturs gentagne historie linjer.

Vores praksis skærpet vores vilje og udvidet vores hjerter.
Vores lærere inspireret os -breathing sandhed og kærlighed i os.

En dag, du endelig sagde en fuld og dyb "JA"
Du hviskede ind i dit eget hjerte. "OK. Jeg er træt af væren
syg og træt af alle mine halvhjertet foranstaltninger. "

Du sagde dit sind og hjerte. "Jeg er klar til at tage det hele på."

Jeg er klar til at tage smerten og hjertesorg af samfundet i min
eget bud, stort og rummeligt hjerte.

Og du trådte frem på forsiden af ​​historiens store scene
Du indså digteren Rilke var lige efter alle:

"Uanset spørgsmålet, Kærlighed er svaret."

Sult breder i Afrika og Mellemøsten, mens korn rådner
i vore Midwestern korn opbevaring reserver. Mere kærlighed nødvendig. Den 37.000
spædbarn og dødsfald blandt børn hver dag fra forurenet vand. Mere af min kærlighed nødvendig.

Den tilsyneladende endeløse dødsfald blandt mødre og småbørn i Syrien.
Mere kærlighed nødvendig. Rent vand til børnene? Mere kærlighed fra mig.
Breaking rædsel for menneskehandel og slaveri?
Mere kærlighed fra mig.

Vi lænede ind i Wind. Ind i Storm. Ind i mørket
af vores nuværende alder. Vi glædede i udvikling af godhed.

Vi fandt dharma var vores Shield, vores sværd. Vores Light.
Vi følte i vores knogler "Dette er mine moment.This er vores øjeblik."

Og så med hvert åndedrag, åbnede vi bredt vores hjerter til den smerte
og lidelse i denne verden.

Over tid vores indsatsområde udvides mere og mere. Hellige krigere
af grundlæggende godhed optrådte på vores side. Vi blev en Enhed.

Sammen mine søstre og brødre
Vi går tilbage over denne store verden
frugtbare frø i vinden
Making oplyst samfund Muligt.
Shambhala! Shambhala!

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The Butterfly King - Edmond Manning om Skrivning og Daring

af Edmond Manning

Med hvilken ret gør en hvid mand fortæller historien om en sort mand? Beskriv, at mandens kampe, de livslange udfordringer, han står over for, strabadser ved at leve i en hvid-centreret kultur?

Jeg har spurgt mig selv dette spørgsmål mange gange.

I september, den tredje bog i min "Lost and Found Kings 'serie, The Butterfly konge blev offentliggjort. Udgangspunktet er den samme i hver bog: en homoseksuel, midtvestlige bil mekaniker inviterer en anden mand at tilbringe weekenden sammen. Han lover "... hvis du sender i hvert eneste måde, vil jeg hjælpe dig med at huske din kongedømme. Jeg vil hjælpe dig med at huske den mand, du var altid ment at være. "

Lyder det bekendt?

Det er en bastardization af NWTA weekenden. Nå, kinda. Der er absolut ingen tilhørsforhold eller omtaler af MKP i romanen. Der er ikke en fiktiv organisation behændigt omdøbt til "LKP." Nope. Ingen crossover aktiviteter. Ingen. Bilen mekaniker Fortælleren er afhængig af Joseph Campbell og de maskuline arketyper til at skabe oplevelser, der hjælper hver mand opdager hans enestående begavelse. Kombineret med eventyr historiefortælling, følelsesmæssig manipulation, og en sund scoop af mennesket-on-mand sex, har disse bøger tiltrukket sig opmærksomhed for deres innovative kig på den maskuline psyke og muligheden for, at alle mennesker er konger.

Jeg har Behag i at skrive om forskellige typer af mænd. Mine røverhistorier fejre magt mænd, skønhed mænd, som omfatter deres problemer: de livslange konsekvenser for en mand, hvis far døde ung (den første bog, kong Perry), en vred mand, der føler sig forrådt af kærlighed og hvordan lorte hans liv viste sig (den anden bog, kong Mai), og den seneste bog, min tredje omhandler en sort mand i New York city, som ofrede sin egen fremtid at passe sin familie.

The Butterfly King.

Men med hvilken ret gør en hvid mand fortælle en sort mands historie?

Ingen ret.

Jeg befinder mig i en nysgerrig og vanskelig situation. Jeg vil skrive om interessante mennesker og fascinerende liv. Det er, hvad forfattere gør, tror jeg. Men hvordan tør et pastaagtige-hvid, middelklasse mand forsøg på at komme ind i hovedet på en mand med farve? Jeg kan umuligt kende omstændighederne i fordomme, han oplevede vokser op og i hele voksenlivet. Det er meget muligt, mine forsøg på at skildre empati komme på tværs som nedladende, dårligt informeret, og nedladende. Jeg bekymre dig om dette. Det holder mig vågen om natten.

En underlig parallel findes i min fiktion genre.

Lige nu er de fleste af de bøger skrevet om mænds kærlige-mænd er skrevet af heteroseksuelle kvinder. Jeg er ikke kidding. De komponere broderparten af ​​markedet for både forfattere og læsere. Nogle har vedtaget en mands navn for bedre accept eller for at skjule deres identitet, bange for tilbageslag. De fleste er åbne og stolte af deres skriftlige dygtighed. Faktisk bøsser nu har svært ved at offentliggøre deres historier-ærlige-til-gayness-mænd-kærlig-mænd historier-fordi kvinder så dominerer dette område, og deres præferencer er blevet branchens traditioner. Homoseksuelle mænd skal være i overensstemmelse med disse industristandarder til at få offentliggjort eller blive marginaliserede.

Huh.

Debatten kommer op tre gange om året eller mere i blogosfæren. Med hvilken ret gør kvinder træde til og fortælle homoseksuelle mænds historier? Med hvilken ret? De oplever ikke bøsse bashing, homofobiske nedsættende bemærkninger, og helvede, de ikke engang har ret junk.

Og dog, de skriver. De tør.

Årsagerne fascinere mig. De føler sig kaldet. Fordi historierne er om kærlighed. Fordi det er mere interessant end at skrive om deres kendte verden, mand-kvinde relationer. Nogle af disse kvinder har homoseksuelle børn, homoseksuelle venner, homoseksuelle garage mekanikere og de ønsker at gøre verden mere sikker, mere accepterende. Uanset deres grunde, de tør.

Jeg elsker dette. De tør.

Må ikke vi også tør?

Som mænd i MKP, vi ikke tør at elske mænd er forskellige fra os selv? Må ikke vi træder udenfor vores komfortable skins til at elske mænd i forskellige aldre, forskellige farver? Må ikke republikanere tider vugge demokrater som de græde over tabte ægteskaber? Har du ikke set nogle granola, hippie leder elsker en ung virksomhedskultur go-getter, gør hvad det tager at ære at menneskets kongedømme? Jeg ved, du har.

Jeg har set det, også.

Vi har ikke blande sig i hinandens liv, fordi det er vores ret at gøre det. Vi gør det, fordi vi tør at elske hinanden som mænd, som brødre.

Jeg researchede denne bog grundigt. Jeg læste om skiftende etniske vandringer til og fra New York fra 1950'erne gennem 2000'erne. Jeg læste bøger om løb. Jeg læste artikler om hvide forfattere forsøger at skrive sorte tegn. Jeg læste blogs om blinde-spots i dominerende kultur, og hvordan det viser sig i lumske, ekskluderende måder. Jeg er glad for jeg gjorde denne forskning, men intet af det giver mig ret til at skrive.

Men jeg tør.

Jeg skriver om mænd af farve, fordi jeg har elsket mænd af farve. Jeg har grædt i deres arme, og de i mine. Vi fortalte vores triste historier og følte hinandens maskuline helbredelse. På personale weekender har vi tørres væk hinandens sved og tårer, og gik tilbage til tæppet, hvis ikke opdateres, sikkert mere robuste. Mere klar til at bære den næste sorgfulde fortælling.

Vi fejrer hinanden ved at fortælle disse historier, at historier, som ikke altid er vores fortælle.

Jeg husker en nat for længe siden, da min I-gruppen besluttede mit arbejde, nat var at dele min kommer ud historie. Jeg trak på skuldrene. Selvom jeg havde været klager over de livslange estrangements det har forårsaget, jeg følte, det ikke var virkelig relevant. Sket over to årtier siden. Som jeg fortalte erfaringen fortæller mine forældre, jeg var bøsse, to af de lige mænd i min gruppe græd. En anden mand sagde: "Hør mig gentage dette til dig."

Da jeg hørte min egen historie kommer fra hans mund, jeg græd mig selv, fordi historien -surprise, overraskelse var trist. Selv om han gentog et par detaljer forkert, hørte han og beæret ånden i fortælling. Jeg havde tilsyneladende for at høre det fra en anden til at genkende sorg.
Når jeg tænker over det seneste roman, jeg er sikker på jeg fucked up i et par steder, fordi, ligesom de fleste af os, jeg sommetider kneppe op når jeg forsøger et stort projekt. Det er en historie om mig. Her er en anden historie, jeg lærte ved at arbejde med MKP: Jeg er også herlig, latterligt fed og jeg udstråler sprudlende, mousserende kærlighed fra mine fingerspidser, når jeg skriver fiktion. Jeg har magt til at afsløre, hvordan smukke, hvordan smukke mænd kan være.

Jeg fejrer os.

Og så, jeg tør.

Butterfly konge

Edmond Manning er forfatter til en serie, The Lost og fundet. De første tre bøger i denne serie er bl.a. Kong Perry, kong Mai (en Lambda Literary finalist 2014), og senest, The Butterfly King. Du er velkommen til at sige hej på remembertheking@comcast.net .

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Arbejde på Min "To Be 'liste

af Stephen Simmer - MKP USA Mission Circle koordinator

Jeg læser ikke e-mails, jeg scanne dem. Ideen om at bremse og opholder sig fuldt til stede med en tanke er meget svært, meget fremmed for mig. Hvis du ligesom mig, kan du mærke en vedvarende stemme, lige nu, fortæller dig at skynde gennem denne e-mail, for at få fat det punkt, at Simmer gør, indbetaling til den betydning-bank for eventuel senere brug, og gå videre til den næste email venter i indbakken. Hvis du ligesom mig, lige nu du siger til dig selv, "Jeg fik det" og hurdling løbet fraser og sætninger for at komme til næste afsnit for at se, om der er mere, du har brug for at få fat. Hvis du ligesom mig, behøver du ikke læse, du plyndre for nødvendigt betydning som hvis du plyndringer en butik i et par ting af værdi.

Jeg er også klar over, at jeg er på den måde med mange dele af mit liv, jeg angiveligt ligeglad. Jeg lytter med et halvt øre til mine børn, jeg lytter til min kone utålmodigt, håber hun vil komme til det punkt, så jeg kan komme videre, jeg skynder ned ad vejen med mine hunde til at få gang af vejen så hurtigt som Jeg kan så jeg kan komme på nogle andre opgaver, som jeg også kan skynde igennem.

Når jeg tænker på at arbejde mere på mission, er der en stemme i mig, der siger med eftertryk: "Jeg har ikke tid til at gøre mere." The transportbånd er for hurtig allerede. Jeg har brug for at arbejde, fyre papirkurven, slæbe klimaanlæg tilbage til garagen, bestille sten til terrassen, afhente recept. Mission? Måske kan jeg planlægge nogle verdensklasse transformation tirsdag mellem min søns fodboldkamp og grille burgere. Hvis jeg ikke kan sandwich det derinde, vil jeg komme til det næste liv, eller den ene efter det. Min mission gradvist bliver min o-mission, hvad jeg udelade.

Det er helt forkert. Jeg blev undervist på min træning for mange år siden, at en mission havde en vision og en handling. En handling: Jeg så det som en anden opgave på min uendelige to-do liste. Men hvad nu, hvis mission er ikke et job? Hvad hvis det er virkelig en tilstedeværelse? Hvad hvis det er en udfordring at gøre mindre, med pragt? Hvad hvis det betyder langsommere, forpligte sig til at være fuldt ud til stede i denne almindelige, pragtfulde øjeblik? Hvad nu, hvis mission betyder, at jeg forpligter mig til at være et menneske være-ing i stedet et menneske gør-ing? Hvad hvis travle-ness er et symptom på omgåelse af, hvad der virkelig betyder noget?

Atleter taler om særlige tidspunkter, når spillet bremser, og måske mission er virkelig om en forpligtelse til at bremse liv ned, så øjeblikke blevet betydningsfulde. Det er de øjeblikke af Flow, som Mihaly Csikszentmihaly identificeret. Denne dyrebare øjeblik med min søn uden for skolen, da han stille og roligt tager min hånd, som vi går. Dette møde med CVS degnen. Denne tur med min hund i regnvejr, både af os dø, ham sandsynligvis et par skridt foran mig, i spidsen. Jeg droppe min to-do liste og starte en til-være listen. Og hvad er overraskende for mig er, at der kun er én ting på listen: at besvare døren og hilser den besøgende, der har ventet.

Stephen Simmer

Steve Simre, for dem af os privilegerede at kende ham, lever sit liv midt i den konstante strøm og temaet for mission. Passende nok, en af ​​hans formelle mission statements er, at han "skaber en verden af ​​frihed ved at tilskynde mænd med min mod til at gøre alt, hvad de kan være, og for at være alt, hvad de kan gøre." Ved profession en psykoterapeut, han arbejder løbende på at inspirere mænd til aktivt at finde og engagere sig i deres egen mission i denne verden. Dr. Simmer afsluttede New Warrior Training Adventure tilbage i 2001, og har aldrig været den samme mand siden.
Hvis du vil vide mere om Steve og hans arbejde, kan du besøge hans hjemmeside

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Min Poem 310: Møde Wisdom

Min Poem 310: Møde Wisdom

Shamanen kender disse lyde ...
De tider forstyrre jagten ... de
er nogle gange et resultat af jagten ...
Du ser, shamanen har holdt
til sine rødder, ikke som de shamaner
reed fløjte, der er blevet skåret fra
sin rod, dets lodskud er
klageråb af brudt hearted
som shamanen kender, men han
Ved også af det helet hjerte ...
kender Icy grags og skygget
vales ... bliver vel vidende af sangene ...
Af tomrummet mellem noter, mellem
teksterne, mellem åndedrag taget
i og ånde bortvist ... Der
han finder det at vide af visdom ...
Der møder han hende ... Moder Sophia

---

Addenda I54: Oscar Wilde sagde,

"Ah! Må ikke sige, at du er enig med mig. Når
folk er enige med mig, jeg altid føler, at jeg må være forkert. "

Har vores digte har
at behage alle?
Har vi
et ansvar for at være provokerende?

Ja! MEN!
Vi har dette ansvar!

Selvfølgelig! Vi har dette ansvar!
Wilde sagde, at! Wilde levede det!
Vores "moderne" omstændigheder kræve, at ...
Hvordan kunne vi ikke ... men for at invitere en anden Hitler ...

Gaia, Moder Jord kræver, at!
Oprettelse storm efter massiv storm
ud over vores erfaring ...

Jeg kræver, at! ... Af
min Brothers & mine søstre!

Opkaldet er blevet lavet! Det er international!
græs rødder, kalder men gik på ...
springer tilbage op i kalder luft ...
men OPKALD igen ... ethvert samfund ... hver Heart
Moderen og mødre overalt ringer ...
Fædre drop krig fra din bevidsthed.
Det har ingen fremtid ... Det avler ingen fremtid ...

Men ... SELV!
Og en jordovn helvede er resultatet ...
Igen og igen ... igen og igen ...

MEN! Hvad mere bevis behøver at blive portrætteret end blodige
Glorious 20. århundrede ... ???

MEN ... hvem er vi, at vi kan "T SEE
I alt dette LIGHT ??? !!!

Wali Qutbuddin Loren Ruh Smith
August 6, 2014

Qutbuddin Loren Ruh Smith: I'm 75 years old, born in Tacoma, WA and went to high school in Arcata, CA. I served in the US Army, met my first wife and had our first son in France. I started writing poetry in my first college English class in 1961. I've published a book called The Path to The Beloved and I have several books ready to publish. I lived in the Sierras in Grass Valley for 30 years before moving to Albuquerque, NM, in 2012. My book about fathers and sons called This Child and His Tree will be going to the publishers shortly.

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BOYHOOD: Not Exactly a Film Review

GUEST POST: by Peter Clothier

Originally published at the Buddha Diaries

(for Luka, a bit later in his life)

I woke this morning thinking about Barack Obama, and how perfectly he fits the model of manhood proposed by Rudyard Kipling in his unjustly maligned and frequently parodied poem “If.” In case you don't remember it, here's how it starts out:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise…

Doesn't that sound like Obama?

First, though, Boyhood, which provoked these thoughts. We finally got to see this beautiful and profoundly moving film last night. I loved the twelve-year journey of these skillful and committed actors, playing out the emotional development of fictional characters engaged in a fictional narrative as they themselves physically aged. I loved the “truth” of the story itself, of a family struggling with the realities of life—the failed and failing marriages, the financial woes, the abuse of alcohol and drugs, sibling love and feuding, school and the relationships with classmates, the pain of the teenage years, and so on. All along, start to finish, the story had the convincing “feel” of life as most of us experience it.

And the film is true to its title. It is about boyhood. Even at the end, the young boy, Mason, whose life we have been following from elementary school to college has not yet emerged fully into manhood. The last shot shows him, literally high in the beautiful natural surroundings of the mountains, and high on the mushroom fed him by his brand new college roommate. With a lovely young woman at his side—they sit still shyly side by side and not in some false, premature embrace—he gazes out in ecstasy into the landscape as though into a future filled with allure. But it is abundantly clear that he is still a boy. Boyhood still glows in his face; he's all promise, no completion.

Which should not surprise us. He had no models of real manhood as he was growing up. Mason's biological father is a charming rogue in his early years, unable to accept the responsibilities of marriage, job, and family. The subsequent relationships his mother forms are with men whose manhood is as questionable as his father's: a smooth academic whose insecurities lead him to drunken tyranny; a former military man whose immaturity is revealed in his insensitivity and inflexibility. With one notable exception—a photography teacher who attempts to move our Mason beyond his obstinate, lethargic adolescence—the strong, mature figures who surround the growing boy are women. The men are simply grown-up little boys.

Which leads me to reflect, beyond the parameters of the movie, upon this question: what are the qualities of manhood? We find what I think of as a real man all too infrequently in our contemporary world. We are surrounded everywhere by ungrown men: the drunks, the abusers, the workaholics; priests and teachers who take advantage of their positions of trust and exploit the vulnerabilities of children; lovers who take what they need and reject responsibility; politicians who lack the spine to govern and capitulate too easily to those who would manipulate them; gun-toting idiots who insist so stridently on their “rights” and are quick to spurn the rights of others; sports heroes pumped up with illicit drugs and phony testosterone; spoiled cultural idols, many of them scarcely more than teenagers.

Too often, the models of manhood we are offered are characterized by a false notion of strength. To return to the President and his current predicament, surrounded as he is by well-meaning progressives to the left and fanatics blinded by their own rectitude on the right, all nipping at his heels and demanding displays of strength. They fail to understand that the qualities of true strength are not intellectual inflexibility and rash, foolhardy action (the former President and his enablers come inevitably to mind) but the maturity to step back and take the longer view, the wisdom to listen and, when necessary, to change. Even to bend. That too is strength. They have not learned the ancient lesson of the oak tree and the reed .

The qualities of manhood, in my view, are these: integrity, a sense of mission, a devotion to service. We know how to teach these qualities. We do it with our military men in boot camp (women, too, these days, of course, but I'm concerned here with men.) While I'm not a fan of militarism in any form, I'll concede that in most cases even this crass form of initiation can produce admirable men—men who have not only strength and skills, but a sense of purpose greater than themselves. Our armed forces are worthy of the respect that they receive. What turns boys to men is this kind of ritualized initiation—a process that's significantly lacking in the development of the youngster who's portrayed in “Boyhood,” as it is to the majority of us today. Of myself, if I'm to be honest, I must acknowledge that I reached some measure of manhood only in my fifties. For genuine initiation in our culture we have substituted such tepid rituals as Christian confirmations and bar mitvahs.

They don't do the trick. In traditional cultures, the transition was a far more dangerous journey, involving genuine threat to life and limb as boys were sent out into wilderness or jungle to temper the vulnerability and fearfulness of boyhood into the steel they would need to function as a man. We in the modern Western world have no wild animals to deal with, unless we count those within. We forget that these are powerful enough to rule our lives if we don't learn to acknowledge and confront them. The early myth of initiation for us is the ordeal of the knight apprentice, who rides out into the forest to test his mettle against the dark knight—or the dragon—and returns prepared to serve his queen.

What is integrity? In simple terms, it is the fortitude to say fearlessly exactly what I mean, and do exactly what I say. Which implies, of course, a clear vision about who I am and what I am given to do. If I'm in doubt or confusion, I lack resolve. I dither. The answer lies not in denying doubt and confusion—they are a part of being human. No one escapes them. In denying them I risk precipitous and futile action, when what I need first is to consult the inner wisdom that I've wrestled with myself to find, and rediscover the clarity before I act. A man of integrity is a man who “has his act together,” in the sense that his actions are in full congruence with his words. He has “integrated” the four mainstays of his being: mind and body, feeling and spirit, and they are properly in balance. Action that is not backed by all four of these in unison–action that lacks thought, or heart, or energy, or purpose–is as ineffectual as the failure to act at all.

Inseparable from a man's integrity, then, is the understanding that he has left behind the innocence of boyhood, along with the freedom that accompanied it. He lives in a world of accountability to others and acknowledges his duty (yes, sorry, a quaint, old-fashioned concept!) to serve others than himself. Sadly, it's true that most of us fail to live up to this ideal. We look around us, searching vainly for the most part for our Mahatma Gandhis, our Nelson Mandelas, our Martin Luther Kings—men who were certainly not lacking in the failings that made them human, but who managed to be magnificently greater than their weaknesses, and of spectacular, historical service to their fellow human beings.

We cannot all be men like these, but we can be men. Without the challenge of traditional initiation rites, we are required to find, or invent, our own journey from boyhood into manhood. It is no easy task to face the darkness and the inner demons that, without our awareness, can control our destinies. All of us need some form of support as we make that journey: a church, perhaps, a spiritual guide, a trained therapist… And the journey, for most of us, is never ending. Who can sit back on his laurels and say with certainty: I have reached the fullness of my manhood? Even in, at best, my last quarter here among the living, I still struggle with my own.

So we leave our young protagonist, in “Boyhood,” with the journey into manhood still ahead of him. He may already have been initiated into sex and drugs, into the drudgery of work and now, finally, the college dormitory, but none of these has opened the door to the real, deep, inner work he will have to do if he is to become the man he needs to be if he is to fulfill his life's destiny. And that is yet to come…

Watch for Peter Clothier's forthcoming novel about masculine sexuality, “The Pilgrim's Staff” (an old euphemism for the penis.) It's told by two narrators, a contemporary figure painter and and 18th century English gentleman. Frank sex scenes and potboiler excitement! Peter is a 1994 NWTA initiate, a one-time active Ritual Elder, and a well-known art writer. His latest book, “Slow Looking: The Art of Looking at Art,” explores the values of contemplation and meditation. Feel free to write him at peter clothier@mac.com .

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The Transformational Power of Daily Rituals

By Gonzalo Salinas

According to Charles Duhigg author of The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business , approximately 40% of what we do every day, we do unconsciously. We have formed a habit that we tend to repeat every day, and it's making our choices for us.

So, think about all the things you do every day. Some of them probably don't serve your highest purpose but still, you repeat them religiously … even knowing specific behaviors are putting you away of the reality you want to live. Duhigg explains that every time you repeat those habits your brain reinforces them … so it craves, later on, this repetition. Even if is not beneficial, you get a neuro-chemical reward in your brain that not only will create some sort of addiction but also reinforces the identity you have created for yourself.

I have tried many times to change bad habits and create new ones. With a sincere heart I must confess that I have failed more times than I have succeeded. But I noticed something happened every time I was succeeding; the positive new habits were daily rituals.

Yes. I do have rituals. Ritual – “a series of actions or type of behavior regularly and invariably followed by someone.” I repeat certain rituals every day, and believe me dear reader of the MKP Journal, to repeat an action every day, is not an easy task, especially when I am trying to create a new self.

Let me share some daily rituals hoping that this will inspire action to enhance lives.

I do my rituals first thing in the morning: I wake up and I go for a run. The running part is simple. I already told myself that as soon as I hear the alarm I must jump out of the bed. At the beginning it was hard, now is automatic. My recommendation is to avoid dealing with ANY logistics – so your sportswear must be ready next to the bed from the previous night.

rising-sun

A second ritual is: I carry in my wallet one handwritten page. One side of the page is divided in two: on the left side I have a few statements: my flaws or weaknesses to become aware of what I want to change, and on the right side my good qualities and virtues to remind myself the tools I have for my own growth. Deliberately this second list is bigger than the first one. On the other side of the paper I've written a brief composition about who I want to be. I've included goals and projects and a description of how I see myself in the next three years.

I read this paper three times a day. As soon as I wake up, at lunch time, and before I go to sleep. It takes me two minutes each reading. When I read it I focus on staying present: just reading.

Third: In the morning I also do a brief visualization … right before I come back from running I stop and I visualize: It takes me three to five minutes. I visualize the same three goals I have written on the paper I carry on my wallet.

Finally, is my gratitude time. On a notebook I got specifically for gratitude, right before I go to sleep, I write three things that I'm grateful for that day. It doesn't matter if it's as simple as “the kid I saw having some ice cream at Lincoln road in South Beach.” If I feel like writing it, I write it. Then I say a brief prayer, and I go to sleep.

These four rituals have changed my life   dramatically in the last two years. Have I been 100% consistent with them?… absolutely not. I used to give to myself a guilt trip, this usually led me to abandon my regular practice for a while. If for some reason I miss my rituals now, instead of the self punishment, I just carry on.

Det er det. Just a couple of thing before I finish: You may notice that my rituals are very simple; they are simple because when I create a complex plan, I find I'm planning to fail. Start small and keep going; it is a great exercise of self love.

And lastly, be creative with your rituals! Some people create a vision boards with images, others do mantras or incantations, others meditate or do breathing exercises. The rituals become habits because of repetition, and the daily practice causes transformation.

I've got more from my 2 years of rituals than from my entire previous life without them. Use them and then you tell me!

Gonzalo photo

Gonzalo Salinas is an Assistant Editor for the ManKind Project Journal, a publication of the ManKind Project, a nonprofit mentoring and training organization offering powerful opportunities for men's personal growth at any stage of life. Salinas studied Literature in Lima, Peru at San Marcos University, and has been living in the United States since 2003. He lives in Miami, FL. Salinas is committed to his own personal development, and to spreading the word about the vision and mission of the Mankind Project .

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Your Distraction Vortex – Purpose Block #3

by Chris Kyle

If you missed the special Live Q&A call on April 15 for the Man on Purpose Course and want to listen to the audio, go to the Man on Purpose Course web site to listen.

Over the last week, I've shared with you the first two core Purpose Blocks which are:

Purpose Block #1 = the Fear Triad
Purpose Block #2 = the Doubting Voice

Now it's time to explore the third of the 3 Purpose Blocks. Purpose Block #3 is the Distraction Vortex .

In our modern, media-saturated and technology-driven culture we have a never-ending list of things we can do in our daily lives to keep us busy and our schedules extremely full.

The daily choices are mind-boggling … TV shows, books, internet surfing, sports, phone calls, porn, email, movies, hobbies — and on and on and on. And all of this is in addition to our daily work (that hopefully pays the bills).

All these possible activities make up the Distraction Vortex: a swirling pool of constant and seemingly endless things TO DO … that can suck up all of our precious time.

None of these activities, in and of themselves, are inherently “good” or “bad.” However, if we are spending much of our time in the Distraction Vortex — there is a good chance that we are also distracting ourselves from what we might want most in our lives: deeper connection, greater joy, more meaning, and a clearer sense of purpose.

And because the journey into these states can be more subtle and unclear, it's frankly easier and likely more soothing to numb-out or check-out with a juicy distraction like a TV show, a series of YouTube videos, or a trashy novel.

The challenge and question is, “How do I consciously navigate this Distraction Vortex, so it doesn't suck up all of my time — and instead frees up my time for focusing on living more fully into my purpose?”

Here are three steps you can take to help set you free from the Distraction Vortex.

1. Slow Down and Observe Your Activity
The first step is to use whatever stillness practice you have, like meditation or mindfulness, to slow yourself down each day (and if you don't have one, then start one), and begin to observe what pulls your attention toward what you would consider unhealthy distractions.

Then take on a one week “distraction awareness practice” by tracking where you are spending your time in the activities that you consider distractions. This brings to conscious awareness what activities YOU use as distractions to not face something else in your life.

2. Notice What You're Avoiding
The second step is to notice what you may be avoiding in your life that the distractions helps you not have to face. It is typically something you don't want to look at, and which makes you uncomfortable… something that you struggle with in your life.

Being more conscious of the activity, feeling or the energy that you're avoiding helps to burst the bubble on your distraction patterns. Now you have the awareness to make a new choice about whether to engage the specific distractions or not.

3. Recommit with Support
As you see more clearly how your particular distractions don't serve you, you can now recommit yourself to the actions and activities that truly support and serve you — your own growth and your purpose.

By declaring your commitment to the activities that feed your passions and purpose to another person close to you helps you stay accountable to not slipping back into the unhealthy distractions. This support is key to breaking out of the Distraction Vortex.

In the Man on Purpose Course, starting tomorrow (April 17, 2014), we spend two of the 7 weeks on looking at the patterns and habits that take us out of the fuller expression of our authentic power, creativity and purpose. This helps clear the way to bringing more energy and power to our purpose.

To your distraction-free purpose,
Chris

PS The Man on Purpose Course starts tomorrow, April 17th, and there's still time to register and lock in your seat in the course. Go here to register for the course. One man who took the course last year said:

“The course opened me up to the desire and passion to start living as a man who lives to be more of service in all aspects of life. Not “what is my purpose?” but rather how to LIVE with purpose!” — Edward Werger

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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Curious about Why you are Here? Special Q&A Call!

Special Q&A Call Tonight & Important Announcement

We've received a lot of great questions over the last week around the topic of purpose and wanting to know more about our upcoming course — Man On Purpose: The Essential 7-Week Online Course for Men which starts on April 17th.

As I mentioned in my last post, George Daranyi and I will be hosting a special interactive Q&A call tonight – Tuesday April 15th. We will be answering some of the most frequently asked questions about the course, and also about how you can access your hidden power to activate your passions and purpose in the world.

If you have any lingering questions about the course, please join this special Q&A call TONIGHT, MARCH 15TH at 5:30 pm Pacific Time to get the answers you need.

===========================================

Here's how to access the Q&A Session with George and me:

TONIGHT at 5:30 pm Pacific / 8:30 pm Eastern / 12:30 am+1 UTC

To listen by webcast online, go to:

http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventid=54169320

To listen by phone dial:
Number: (425) 440-5100
Access code: 405934#

============================================

A number of men who have experienced the work with us were eager to share how it had improved and changed their lives:

“They showed me how I had been asleep for most of my life, and how I needed to “awaken” and take charge of my life, to take responsibility and be accountable for my actions. In the program, I received the tools to get back into integrity with my family, my friends, and mainly with myself… I learned that it in order to make a difference in this world, to live into my purpose, I first had to change myself.” — Joe A.

“Chris' approach helped me to see where I'm not showing up fully in my life and the shadows that were holding me back. His intuition and awareness guided me to confront these shadows and helped me stay present, even when it was uncomfortable. With Chris's help, I found my growing edge and learned how to take what I experienced in the sessions into my professional and social life, my intimate relations and most of all, my inner journey. By experiencing this place of “deep knowingness”, purpose and fierce love, I experienced the essence of my true nature.” — Tim C.

I also wanted to let you know that our 3-payment option ends this Friday. So if you're planning to register for the course and would benefit from the option of spreading the payments over three months, be sure to register by tomorrow to take advantage of this opportunity.

To learn more and register visit the course information page.

To living your purpose,
Chris Kyle & George Daranyi

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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What is your Doubting Voice keeping you from? – Purpose Block #2

If you missed the first post: here are the 3 Purpose Blocks:
The Fear Triad
The Doubting Voice
The Distraction Vortex

As we move further along our purpose journey path we're likely to run into the second purpose block: The Doubting Voice.

This Doubting Voice inside you might sound like this:

  • Do you really think you can live your purpose — what about making enough money for the family?
  • It sounds too risky to shift careers now… why would you want to do that?
  • Where will you get the support to take on this new project?
  • What happens if it doesn't work out?
  • Do you think you have the talent to write your book, it's really difficult…

Essentially, this inner voice is that part of our thought pattern that is negatively questioning everything we say or do.

And the problem is that when your Doubting Voice collides with your Calling, your unfolding purpose, then it wants to find all the ways to keep you from going to the “unknown edge” — to the places that you'll have to extend yourself, to risk, and to grow in likely uncomfortable ways.

The Doubting Voice's mission is to eliminate risk, keep things the “safe”, and to NOT be uncomfortable. This obviously puts you at odds with yourself at times, and why it is a core block to living your purpose.

So, how do we work with and neutralize our Doubting Voice?

I have found that the best way to work with the Doubting Voice is to make friends with it.

I know, easier said than done. But here's my process of be-friending, or said another way, integrating my inner Doubter.

Start with naming the Doubting Voice in you. You might call it: Doubting Dude, or Cantankerous Cathy, or simply Mr. Doubter. What this does is twofold:

Brings lightness and humor to that part of ourselves that is pretty heavy and a limiter to our full, authentic expression
Allows the witnessing part of yourself to arrive so you can see the bigger perspective beyond your fearful, doubting ego-mind thoughts/voices.

Then it's time to have a brief dialogue with your Doubter. It flows like this:

“Mr. Doubter, do you have some true wisdom for me that I should know about?” Here you're investigating for important information that might be in the doubting voice. A grain of truth that you feel may be important to the issue at hand. Listen to what comes back.

Then say to yourself: “Thank you for sharing. I don't need you at this time. I'm now going to make room for a choice that is for my highest good – my empowered choice.”

And now there is space for you to make a new choice toward your purpose, toward that which brings you more alive.

In the Man on Purpose Course , George Daranyi and I will speak on how to turn your negative inner voices (what we call Inner Bullies) into allies for your growth and expansion. So, I encourage you to let your Doubting Voice be the new fuel for your growth, for a deeper self-acceptance, that will bring more energy and clarity to your purpose work.

To your purpose adventure,
Chris

PS George and I are hosting a special live Q&A Call on Tuesday, April 15th at 5:30 pm PT / 8:30 pm ET to answer all your questions about the upcoming Man on Purpose Course , which starts on April 17th. Mark you calendars now and we'll be sending out Access Details on Monday. Go here to learn more and register for the course.

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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What stops you from claiming or more fully living your purpose?

The challenge I see constantly with people who want clarity of purpose, or want to bring more energy or focus to it, is that there's at least one BIG block   (if not several) in their life that's keeping them from being fully engaged and lit up by their purpose.

I'd like to share with you the top 3 Purpose Blocks   that I've discovered through the purpose work I've done with hundreds of people over the years; and then how to move through these blocks. Today I'll focus on Purpose Block #1.

Here are the 3 Purpose Blocks:

  1. The Fear Triad
  2. The Doubting Voice
  3. The Distraction Vortex

Purpose Block #1 is the Fear Triad . I have consistently found three specific fears that people face when diving into discovering their purpose, OR when they are trying to put the vision of their purpose into action in the world. The three core purpose fears are:

  • Fear of Survival (mostly financial)
  • Fear of Failure
  • Fear of Ridicule

The survival instinct is deeply rooted in our old brain, the reptilian brain, and is now, in our modern culture, mostly connected with our financial resources.

So the Fear of Survival   unfolds like this: If you choose to go after your purpose, living it fully, then it may drain ALL your resources and/or not be sustainable in the future, and you won't “make it” — you won't survive. You won't be able to pay the bills and feed your family. So, it's just easier to avoid the question about purpose altogether than to face the possibility that you might not survive by living the “fantasy” of your purpose.

The Fear of Failure inside our purpose exploration can become more pronounced because the call of our purpose may stretch us into unknown areas, or test us with new approaches or concepts.

It may unfold like this: If you go for what you really want, your purpose, and fail; then you've failed on the really BIG one in life — living your purpose.” This would not just be failing on a project or a task, but may have the sense of a “whole-person failure” — the message being: “I am a failure in my life.”
The Fear of Ridicule unfolds like this: if your purpose is calling you to do something different in your life, to take on a new vision for your life with a new set of actions, you may find yourself misunderstood by family, friends, colleagues and maybe even your partner.

This exposes you to people's reactions, their own fear and their ridicule. The fear may arise that you'll be laughed, belittled or rejected because your ideas seem non-conventional or simply strange to others.
So, here is the 3-step flow of how to work with these natural fears in the Fear Triad:

> Awareness of the Fear
Notice and acknowledge the fear. It is important to pause yourself and take a deeper look inside at what these fears are for you. Name them in your OWN way and in your words. Bringing them out of the shadow and into the light of your conscious mind is the first step.

> Allow and Embrace
Once you are aware of your unique flavor of the fear, then you're ready to embrace this fear as simply a part of you and a mechanism that your ego-mind uses to keep you safe.

This means accepting the fear with self-compassion and seeing it as a natural part of your growth and evolution as a human being. It's important for you to watch your tendency to push the fear away, to deny it or pretend it's not there.

> Open to a New Choice
As you allow and embrace your fear, it begins to lose its hold and power over you. It may still be there, but it's been seen, named and embraced. So, now it's time to make a new choice that supports your highest growth and calling in the moment.

What you thought was just not possible before because of one of these fears, now may seem possible. Make a NEW choice that serves you and your passionate, creative expression.

In the Man on Purpose 7-Week Online Course we teach you a powerful tool called the Reframing Process that will help you reframe your fear messages and shift them to new possibilities and new choices.
Go to our course information page to learn more.

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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Wake up call

Category: Memoir

by Gonzalo Salinas

Every morning after my run on the beach and my morning rituals, as I drive to work, I see the kids from the South Beach Elementary crossing the street, I see the cuban windows full of people buying their morning cafe cubano , I see the many yoga fans carrying their mat to their morning practice and I see the magic atmosphere of the beach waking up and starting the day.

I cross the MacArthur causeway admiring the breathtaking view, with the Miami skyline and the port of Miami on one side and the mansions in front of the ocean and the Miami bay on the other one. I take the I95, my usual shortcut to the roads in Coral Way to get to my office.

I'm grateful for all the things I get to see every morning. Hvorfor? Because everything I get to see every day is a blessing. I know it firsthand…

south beach

When I was a kid, I absolutely loved to play. I was always organizing the games. I remember always playing with my older brothers, with my friends or my cousins. Inventing games, running, jumping, screaming … one of my favorites was playing soccer with a paper ball covered in duct tape. I was always busy being a kid.

Sometimes at school, the bell rang earlier than usual. I was very happy because I had the chance to go home and play, but, at that young age, I wasn't aware of how dangerous the reason was of why they were sending us home hours before the end of the school day.

My grade school was threatened by the terrorist movements of Shining Path or the Tupac Amaru Revolutionary Movement. Both terrorist groups that had taken my city, Lima, and were destroying everything they touched. When they threatened the school, the only solution was sending everyone home for the day. Most of the time, these were false alarms, somebody calling for no reason, but in the rest of the city, you couldn't go to a cafe or a restaurant because the terrorist were bombing the commercial areas, public offices, banks, private companies and every public place you could possibly imagine, spreading chaos and terror all over Lima and the rest of the country.

I grew up on that environment, without being aware of the constant risk that was just walking on the streets of my city. In 12 years of horror from 1980 to 1992, the result was approximately 70 thousand people killed. Fortunately the Peruvian government was able to bring the terror to an end.

There are many places in the world right now, like Pakistan, Iraq or Somalia where terrorism is part of the daily life. I feel so blessed to live where I live now. And I am awake – awake to the reality that not everyone experiences the world I live in. And I am also responsible for staying awake.

So every morning, I am grateful for what I see on my way to work. Gratitude, for me, is the opposite of fear. Be grateful for what you have and send your positive energies or say a prayer for those places where terror is the reality. I pray for a world where all the kids can go to the streets, and play.

Gonzalo photo

Gonzalo Salinas is an Assistant Editor for the ManKind Project Journal, a publication of the ManKind Project, a nonprofit mentoring and training organization offering powerful opportunities for men's personal growth at any stage of life. Salinas studied Literature in Lima, Peru at San Marcos University, and has been living in the United States since 2003. He lives in Miami, FL. Salinas is committed to his own personal development, and to spreading the word about the vision and mission of the Mankind Project .

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Lighting the Darkness – Lumos

Guest Post

New Warrior Brother Michael Marlin from Hawaii will enlighten audiences with his stage production of LUMA: Art in Darkness during a ten-city tour at performing art centers across the country beginning March 28th.

A top comedy juggler who played Las Vegas and opened for the likes of Jay Leno, Jerry Seinfeld, George Carlin, and REM, Marlin walked away from his successful solo career in 1986. He sold his house in Redondo Beach, CA and moved to the island of Hawaii to co-found an alternative community while building and living in a tree house with no electricity.

In 1989 while standing on an active lava flow he noticed the hypnotic effect it had on people and had the epiphany, “All life is drawn to light.”

This was the genesis of LUMA, a show that has now appeared in 15 countries, 44 states and has been touring since 1998. LUMA, with a cast of seven, is a show about the subject of light that combines all manner of physical disciplines from rhythmic gymnastics, puppetry, magic, dance, acrobatics, physics and experimental methods.

Fused with a myriad of light technology from incandescent to bioluminescent, from LEDs to lasers, the tour will take it from Arizona to Massachusetts over a five-week period.

“Three years ago Marlin came to Houston and opened with his juggling act,” Sonny Elliot, a ManKind Project ritual elder recalls, “[LUMA] was a brilliant and over-the-top performance. With the 'visual' music and 'technical' dancing, along with the crowd's enthusiasm, it was a home run.”

In manifesting his vision of LUMA, Marlin encountered a lot of skepticism. He has stayed true to his brainchild, expanding the show and building on new technology as it has evolved, watching as other artists have recently flirted with some of the theatrical light elements he has pioneered, popularizing it on shows like “America's Got Talent”.

Marlin has long been a pioneer and visionary. His work in the field of comedy and juggling back in the 70's and early 80's influenced a generation of jugglers who followed. Barry Friedman from the ManKind Project in Northern California and half of the juggling duo “The Raspini Brothers”, reports, “I remember standing in our family kitchen when I was 18 years old and seeing Michael Marlin on a TV show called Real People.”

“It showed me a bigger picture of what was possible if I stuck with juggling: the possibility of having fun and making people laugh. Marlin has continued to raise the bar both artistically and professionally. His show LUMA has brilliantly merged the visual appeal of juggling with the mind-boggling technology of electronically controlled lighting.”

COME SEE LUMOS

Come see LUMOS this spring.

“The journey to take a vision bigger than one person can pull off and turn it into a physical manifestation with so many moving parts was daunting,” says Marlin. “The work I have done in the ManKind Project has helped me in an incalculable way in my ability to lead others in a clean way and not pull my hair out, (or theirs) when things don't go as planned.”

“I have no doubt that the ripples Marlin is making in the lives of both his audiences and the members of his cast will spread out and touch millions of lives,” said Friedman.

Ticket information and videos of LUMA can be found online at http://www.lumatheater.com .

Show Schedule:

March 26th Gilbert, AZ – Higley Center
April 4th Ft. Collins, CO – Lincoln Center
April 6th Santa Fe, NM – Lensic Theater
April 7th Las Vegas, NM – University of New Mexico Highland Center
April 11th Chippewa Falls, WI – Heyde Center
April 12th Madison, WI – Barrymore Theater
April 13th Schaumberg, IL – Prairie Performing Arts Center
April 20/21st Roanoke, VA – Jefferson Center
April 27th Storrs, CT – University of Connecticut Jorgensen Center
April 29th Queens, NY – Queens College
May 2nd Worcester, MA – Hanover Theater

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Video: “The Revolution is Love” with Charles Eisenstein

shared by Chris Kyle

This powerful 4-minute video features Charles Eisenstein, author of Sacred Economics , from a documentary about the Occupy Movement. Charles will be a featured speaker at the ManKind Project USA's upcoming Power of Purpose Online Summit in March 2014 (more details are coming soon).

I love Charles' last line of this video clip: “…Everybody has a unique calling and it's really time to listen to that. That's what the future is going to be. It's time to get ready for it, and contribute to it, and help make it happen.”

Charles Eisenstein is a teacher, speaker, and writer focusing on themes of civilization, consciousness, money, and human cultural evolution. He is the author of 6 books includingSacred Economics, The Ascent of Humanity and The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible.

“Remember that self-doubt is as self-centered as self-inflation. Your obligation is to reach as deeply as you can and offer your unique and authentic gifts as bravely and beautifully as you're able.”
— Bill Plotkin, author of Soulcraft*

* Bill is also speaking at the Power of Purpose Summit in March.

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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My Elder Soul ~ a poem

Category: Men as Elders , Poetry

by Reuel Czach

Elders, we are losing our Soul.
We are so caught up individually in petty offenses
and bickering and wounded-ness,
that we are letting our civilization and our planet die.
But most importantly,
we are letting our souls die.

When I chose to be wounded,
and walk through life withdrawn in my cave,
or I choose to be over-armored,
to the point of being weighed down,
with such heavy baggage,
nothing else matters,
…..my soul is lost.

I chose to take a step toward claiming,
my lost soul,
when I chose to meet with men in an honest, open circle.

I choose my soul,
when I decide to be so humble,
that no one can offend me.

I choose my soul,
when I chose wisdom,
over being right.

I choose my soul,
when I chose service,
over selfishness.

I choose my soul,
when I chose looking within,
to find all the evil I see outside myself.

I choose my soul,
when I walk the path of life,
where I am nothing,
and I am everything,
in sacred balance.
My choices mean everything,
my offenses mean nothing.

My offenses mean I still have inner work to do
and for the sake of generations to come,
I better get it done as quickly as possible.

My choices mean I have the power to save myself,
my loved ones, my friends, and possibly many more people,
from a mean, selfishness and a lonely death.

I feel great sadness and sorrow,
for all that is being lost.

While the distractions of hurt,
wounded-ness and bickering,
suck so much energy out of my soul,
…..and the soul of my people.

Every hurt and wound and chance to be right,
is a mirror of my soul,
and an opportunity to heal.

Gør det! Choose healing.
Then choose wisdom and kindness,
and be the Elder you were meant to be.

Distractions are my enemy,
anything that tries to pull me off,
my narrow mission.

I just need to let Spirit control my life,
where my spirit joins and serves,
a much bigger wisdom,
than I could ever fully understand.

I am asked this day to request of myself,
and men who call themselves Elders.
A humble request,
that we focus on the wisdom to light a path,
for those who come after us.
Humble man, Jan 2014

Reuel Czach

Reuel Czach is a 60 year old, Christian man with a wonderful wife and two sons, a daughter and a stepson. He has lived in San Luis Obispo County, California for over 30 years and practiced architecture for most of those years. Czach is an I-Group Coordinator for the Swallow Creek Coastal Circle in Cayucos. He actively supports and builds the Elder community in San Luis Obispo and is the Co-Elder Chair of the MKP Santa Barbara Community. Czach leads a weekly men's circle in my church and is a leader in the men's ministry.

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My Purpose Over My Relationship?

by Chris Kyle

I came across this quote from David Deida (author of Way of the Superior Man ) a couple of days ago:

“Admit to yourself that if you had to choose one or the other, the perfect intimate relationship or achieving your highest purpose in life, you would choose to succeed at your purpose. Just this self-knowledge often relieves much pressure a man feels to prioritize his relationship when, in fact, it is not his highest priority.”

I have to say right off the bat, that when I first read this quote I thought to myself… do I have to choose one OVER the other?

And then another part of me stood up (in my head, of course) and said “that's right, achieving my highest purpose would definitely rock!”

Clearly there's a conflict running inside me regarding how I prioritize living my purpose as a man, and where I place my relationship.

So, as I look at my own life to investigate this question of the priority of purpose, I do see that I am most alive, engaged and passionate when I'm doing what I love, giving my gifts and bringing my purpose forward to serve others.

And if I decided to choose my relationship OVER living fully into my purpose, I think a part of me would shrivel up. And I know that my power and confidence would be diminished in the world.

And at the end of the day, I don't want living my purpose to hurt or damage my relationship with my wife. I know that I can give my full presence and heart to my relationship without sacrificing my purpose.

But real juice and fire in our relationship comes from me making bold choices to follow my heart and gut, and give my gifts, my purpose with passion and without apology. And my wife finds this super sexy and is proud of me even during the times I am putting my purpose work above our relationship time.

The twist here is that in my experience living boldly into my purpose, with all the triumphs and failures that goes with that, my relationship thrives.

And of course, my purpose as I shared it above applies to my wife as well (she's a “being” too), and so I can be in my purpose through supporting her on her path of growth.

What I hear from many men that I work with is that they are trying so hard to make their relationship work or to please their partner so they can have a more harmonious and “easy” life.

The challenge of putting their relationship above the full expression of their purpose, is that it diminishes the energy, fire and confidence in themselves that could infuse the relationship with much needed passion or juiciness.

So here's how I have learned to hold this priority tension between relationship and purpose. I give my full presence, attention and heart to my relationship whenever we are together. I am not half-there or checked out because I'm thinking about work, or half-listening to her because my purpose work is invading my thoughts and it's THE PRIORITY.

Rather, when I'm engaged in my purpose work, I'm there fully and making that a priority in my life even if it means making some difficult choices about the time I spend with my wife.

I find that the natural balance arises when I am passionately engaged in my purpose AND I bring that juice and fire into my relationship with full presence and an open heart — regardless of how much time we have with each other (days or minutes).

And you know, I still reserve the right to make my relationship the focus of my purpose at any given time if it needs it and demands more of me for a period of time. How's that for a slick caveat — and it's been true at specific times in my life.

Keep working your purpose edge, bring full presence to each moment, keep your heart open and you'll see your life soar… in both your purpose AND your relationship.

CK

PS What do you think? Leave a comment!

Chris Kyle

Chris has trained and coached hundreds of individuals to achieve greater success in their businesses and their lives. In partnership with The ManKind Project® USA, he recently created The Power of Purpose Summit and the Man On Purpose online course. He is also the co-creator, with Amy Ahlers, of the ongoing tele-series, New Man, New Woman, New Life.

In addition to his leadership development work, Chris has spent over 24 years as an executive, entrepreneur, consultant and business coach, working in Fortune 500 companies and owning his own eco-adventure travel company. Chris graduated from Stanford University where he studied Political Science. He lives with his wife in Northern California.

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The World Needs More Elders

By Donald Clerc

What's the difference between being an Elder and being elderly? I never really thought about that question until joining the ManKind Project two years ago.

I'm 57, have three grown children, one young grandchild, and own my own business. So I've “been around the block” a few times and have learned a thing or two along the way. But no one had challenged me on what I can do with that experience and wisdom in this second half of my life.

What are the characteristics of an Elder? We all know of older people who do not behave in an Elder way. And we also know of younger people who already exhibit Elder-like qualities. Here's what I see are some of the qualities and behaviors of an Elder:

• Speaking the truth with authority and wisdom.
• Speaking with kindness and a fierce authenticity at the same time.
• Having a gracious and open heart.
• Standing for higher values and strong standards of behavior.
• Drawing the line against counterproductive behavior.
• Giving, serving, honoring and blessing others.
• Standing in responsible support of leaders.
• Knowing when all you need to do is be present and listen.

Old-People Being an Elder is not the same as being elderly. Just because you are older doesn't make you wise. And if you don't share that hard-won wisdom with others, then you are not benefiting society as an Elder.

Being an Elder is not the same as being a leader. The Elder looks out for the leaders and the lead alike. The Elder uses his wisdom and experience for the good of everyone. His honesty and values help the young to mature and help the already mature to stay in touch with their core values.

Many other societies honor their Elders. It seems like our materialistic society only honors those people (young or old) who buy things, make things, or do things. How does one get honored for being and sharing wisdom? Elders can help the younger generations focus on developing their core values and stop being overly focused on material things.

Where can today's Elders practice their craft? I grew up in a Presbyterian church, which is run by Elders by design. But outside of organized religion, schools and businesses, where else can Elders give of their gifts? If our communities can learn to utilize all of this elder wisdom in an organized way, everyone benefits.

What stops older people from stepping into the role of the Elder? The first obstacle to overcome is the assumption or lack of awareness that one is already an Elder simply because one has already experienced a half-century or more of life. The second obstacle is a lack of training on Elder-like behaviors. These behaviors are not difficult to learn – what most people need to learn are how to undo the negative habits that inhibit or cover their natural Elder qualities from coming out.

In conclusion, young people need more Elders in their lives. They grow up easier and with more maturity. I think it's time for older people need to step into their roles as Elders. This gives them a greater sense of fulfillment and contribution to society than continuing the consumerist behaviors of when they were younger.

What we still need are a way to train more people in the second half of their life to embrace their inner Elder. And we need to develop more avenues in society where Elders can give of their gifts to others.

Donald Clerc is a computer technologist and entrepreneur. He has over 30 years experience working with computers, and started his own computer consulting company 16 years ago. Before that he was an associate school psychologist. Donald is married (for over 35 years), has three grown children and one grandchild. He completed the New Warrior Training Adventure in 2011 and is a declared Elder in the Houston MKP Community.
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How we feel emotions in our Body

by Boysen Hodgson

from Discover Magazine

Research done by a group of scientists, recently published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences reveals some interesting facts about how human beings experience emotions in their bodies. For men involved in the ManKind Project, it was a nice affirmation of what we've been teaching and practicing for nearly 30 years.

In the ManKind Project, we see and hear men struggle to describe or name what they're feeling. Mad? Sad? Glad? Afraid? Ashamed? They frequently have an easy time saying what they think, or making statements that express judgment about what is happening around them, but when asked to name the emotional state they're experiencing … many men are stumped. For most of us, this is a result of being raised in families and in a culture that doesn't teach or model emotional literacy.

To help men learn what they are feeling and be able to name it; without expectation of changing it or shame for feeling it, we teach men to look their bodies for clues.

“What sensations are you feeling?”
“Where are the sensations in your body?”
“What color (shape, size, texture) might it have?”
and finally …
“If you were to give it a name … mad, sad, glad, afraid, ashamed … what would you call it?”

This basic template for exploration begins to tease apart the stories and narratives in our minds from the raw physical experience we are having in our bodies. Often this is the first step in decoupling habits of reaction so that men can make changes in their behaviors and beliefs about themselves and the world.

Emotion – the felt sense, the hormonal and neurological chain-reaction set into motion by thoughts and experiences of the world – is one of the most powerful sources of information we can harness to improve ourselves and have a positive impact on the world. Many of us create habits of denial, repression, and avoidance of our emotions that have wide ranging personal, interpersonal, and cultural impacts in our communities.

This is a great time to bear witness to the cultural awakening that is underway.

Men's Work – the difficult and fantastic process of waking up, growing up, and showing up in the world for the benefit of humanity – is main-stream. As soon as this article was published, ManKind Project men from around the world were sharing it with quips about printing it out as a quick reference guide for men beginning the exhilarating process of connecting 'head' and 'heart.'

Here is the link to the article:
How we feel emotions in our body

Boysen Hodgson

Boysen Hodgson is the Communications and Marketing Director for the ManKind Project USA, a nonprofit mentoring and training organization that offers powerful opportunities for men's personal growth at any stage of life. Boysen received his BA with Honors from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, after completing 2 years of Design coursework at Cornell University. He has been helping companies and individuals design the change they wish to see in the world for 15 years. He's a dedicated husband.

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