by Bill McMillan

Feeling frustration over the lack of connection we felt with millions of returning veterans, my wife, Kim Shelton, and I had the crazy idea of creating a program called The Welcome Home Project. We wanted to become more involved with veterans and to offer a way for the larger civilian community to actively participate in the return of our soldiers.

To support our work with veterans, we invited author, mythologist and storyteller Michael Meade to bring to the project his genius for working with myth, stories and traumatized communities.  Michael joined us as a co-sponsor and facilitator.

On the afternoon of May 22, 2008, twenty three men and women, including five spouses or partners, arrived for a five-day retreat at the Buckhorn Springs Retreat Center in southern Oregon. Each was a  veteran or war— Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam, or other conflicts — or involved in marriages and partnerships dominated by memories of war.

These veterans came to the retreat with the hope of finding a new way to deal with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). They sought a new way to understand themselves and who they had become. Each of them lived with PTSD. They felt nervous and uncomfortable in the new situation. They faced unknown people, an unfamiliar place, histories of inadequate approaches to PTSD, plus an unusual notion of working with the emotional trauma of war and its aftermath through stories, myths, song, and their own poetry.

Remarkably, they came to this retreat knowing that at the end they would be presenting themselves to the public in a large community “Welcome Home” ceremony. They came to the retreat knowing they would be the subjects of an intensely personal documentary film.

For the next five days, these courageous men and women formed what Michael called a “sudden community;” they began to explore what it means to heal from their experiences of war.

For the next five days, these men and women experienced deep conflicts and dark personal anguish. They experienced a slow coming together of men and women who felt understood  and supported as only other veterans can understand and support each other.

The veterans listened to ancient stories about war and healing, and they began to tell their own stories. They listened to each other and began to unfold the beauty that — along with pain — lies at the heart of tragedy. To express this beauty, they wrote deeply personal poetry describing their reality, both in war and at home.

Finally, on Memorial Day 2008, the veterans presented themselves with their poetry, songs and stories to an audience of more than 600 men and women, many veterans themselves, who came to honor and receive these warriors back into the community, to truly welcome them.

This coming together of veterans and the civilian public has been missing in the media coverage of Post Traumatic Stress and the accompanying risks of suicide, divorce, substance abuse, and other expressions of inner torment. Without the wider community becoming open and willing to accept from veterans everything that comes home from war with them, millions of veterans and their families are destined to live in cold isolation, reminded only of the wars they fought, not of the wisdom they now can offer, wisdom the rest of us need.

Kim and I today are editing a feature length documentary film about the 2008 Welcome Home retreat and public ceremony.  Here is a powerful clip from Voices of Vets:

(Warning: Film clip contains explicit and graphic language.)

Editor’s Note: Voices of Vets will be distributed to local communities around the U.S. to inspire similar events, greater awareness and a long overdue dialogue between warriors and the civilian public. To support their efforts, you can help by spreading the word, making direct donations to The Welcome Home Project, or introducing the co-sponsors personally to men and women of influence and means who may be interested. You also can become a fan on facebook. For more information, contact Bill McMillan at 541-821-4798.

Bill McMillan is a licensed MFT who has worked with families, teenagers, substance abuse and trauma for more than twenty years. An active leader with Boys To Men,  he has worked in schools in Missouri, Pennsylvania, California, and Oregon. He now devotes himself full-time to working on The Welcome Home Project and veteran’s issues with his wife, Kim Shelton.

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P.S. Another worthy program for veterans by some MKP members is Vets Journey Home.

One of the ongoing narratives of The ManKind Project has been the tension between keeping the New Warrior Training Adventure (NWTA) a fierce and powerful experiential training while at the same time keeping a consciousness around safety — whether physical, spiritual, cultural, or psychological.

There have been several major advances in our consciousness around safety.  In the mid-1990’s, a new emphasis on pre-training medical screening emerged. A comprehensive Confidential Medical Questionnaire was created and put into use in 1997.  In that same year, the Safety Committee was formed to bring men together who would give input into how to create “best practices” for physical safety on the training.

In 2002, the Process Safety Committee was formed to focus on the psychological impact of processes in the training.  Soon thereafter, the need for assessing the psychological readiness of a man before his participating in the NWTA became clear. In August of 2008, a group of men began meeting by email and phone bridge, and from these meetings emerged the Mental Health Resource Team (MHRT).

There are two qualifications for being on the MHRT.

First, a man must be a qualified and licensed mental health professional (in nearly all cases a psychiatrist, psychologist, or psychiatric social worker), trained to assess such disorders and conditions as PTSD, Bi-Polar Disorder, Major Depression, homicidality/assaultiveness, suicidality, disorders of impulse, and substance abuse or dependence.

Second, each man must have a reasonable degree of experience in staffing the NWTA.  This is defined as five or more NWTA staffings and the vouch of a certified leader or co-leader with whom the man has staffed.  This ensures that the MHRT man can assess a potential initiate in the context of the experience he is signing up to do.

The MHRT is typically contacted by the local Reviewing Physician following his review of the Confidential Medical Questionnaire.  The Psychosocial section, revised and expanded by the MHRT in 2008, alerts the Physician to the potential presence of one of the conditions mentioned above.  The MHRT man reviews the form and — depending on what information emerges along the way — contacts the potential initiate or staff man, and (with permission) may contact the treating therapists and physicians, as well.

The main question addressed is whether there is sufficient concern to advise that the man not participate in the NWTA, given his situation and condition at the time of the referral.  Secondary input may be made about what the man may need on the training for optimal benefit, cautions about possible traumatic triggers or impaired cognitive functioning, and such like.  Regardless of the issue, the MHRT functions in an advisory capacity, making recommendations to the reviewing physician and to the training leader, who has the final call

Since the MHRT went operational in late 2009, more than a dozen referrals have been made. We have received overwhelmingly positive feedback from Reviewing Physicians, leaders and co-leaders of the NWTA, and even from family members of men who we have (indirectly) served.

David S. Rose is a Co-Leader in the Greater Washington MKP Community.  He has been a practicing psychologist for more than 22 years with extensive training in diagnosing and treating early and recent trauma, disorders of mood, impulse, and process addiction, plus suicide intervention. For more information about the MHRT, please contact David at mhrt@mkp.org

Why do those of us with bipolar disorder have to carry the stigma that we will always be sick? Can’t we ever “recover” enough from our disorder to return to the place we started before we were diagnosed with a chronic mental illness? Does the tail wag the dog? Are psychiatrists motivated by the pharmaceutical industry to push medications rather than provide holistic, collaborative care?

My blogmate at Bipolar Visions, Tim Kuss, recently emphasized accepting one’s mental illness — in our case, this is bipolar disorder — just as much as building and maintaining sobriety.  This has worked for Tim, and I daresay for me, since we both have been clean and sober for an impressive amount of time, we both take our medications deliberatively, and we both “take an active role in the design and delivery” of our care.

Mathew Mattson and Sue Bergeson from the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) say that “the ultimate goal of treatment should be to engender hope.” However, sometimes I wonder how that can happen if we realize that we will continue to  have a chronic illness that will always haunt us, especially if we do not walk the straight and narrow. Mattson and Bergeson emphasize that “the ultimate goal of treatment must be recovery” and that “consumers should take an active role in the design and delivery of their own care”

Dr. Jeffrey L. Sussman, in The Primary Care Companion to the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, waxes profound when he notes, ” The goal of treatment [for bipolar disorder] has changed in recent years from one of symptom abatement to one of recovery; that is, returning patients to their level of functioning prior to the onset of illness.”

Mover and shaker psychiatrist, Dr. Nada Stotland, alludes to “moving beyond symptomatic recovery to also encompass functional recovery.” She advocates four ways to make this happen: (1) She wants ” policy and system changes to facilitate recovery.” (2) She asks for ” improved funding for recovery-oriented care.” (3) She wants “implementation of recovery-oriented, collaborative care models that bring together psychiatrists and primary care providers.” Lastly, (4) she wants the “dissemination of improved tools for monitoring changes in symptoms and level of functioning.”

I want to dig deeper because I am not convinced the majority of practicing clinicians buy into this view that recovery should be the goal of bipolar treatment. Many behavioralists, I suspect, focus on the “flavors” of one or the other presentations of bipolar disorder: are you manic and depressed, just a little off the wall, or rapidly cycling between ups and downs? The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV) has a diagnosis that fits you.

Plenty of naysayers would suggest there is a greater tendency to define and treat in this new Aage of twenty-minute psychiatric visits. This raises some tough questions:

Is there a fiscal relationship between the plethora of psychotropic drugs on the market and how many pills or capsules the average bipolar patient now takes? Does the tail wag the dog? Has “pushing” psychotropics to whatever extent supplanted interactive psychiatry? Is there a financial impropriety based on the incredible profits engendered by so many medications? Have psychiatrists literally been “bought out” by the megapharmaceutical companies?

So, what is the incentive that anyone with bipolar illness will actually ever “get better”?

I am not advocating that bipolar patients stop taking their medications as soon as they feel good again. Sussman advocates utilizing an effective treatment team. I heartily agree with him and feel — to the bottom of my soul — that collaboration between the patient and physician is crucial. Such an approach demands mutual communication between the physician and the person with bipolar disorder. Also, collaboration between primary care providers and specialists (psychiatrists and psychotherapists) is proven to produce better outcomes.

Those bipolar patients lucky enough to have been treated collaboratively report having a better attitude about taking their medications and admitting just how bad they actually felt. They also functioned better in daily life. Here again, these innovative psychiatrists I have cited are directing our attention toward a goal of returning to a level playing field; that is, back to where we may have been mentally before we began our struggle. Is that possible?

We inevitably return to the question of whether someone like myself, with known bipolar disorder, can ever function normally again? They may tell us that we “demonstrate compromise of executive and cognitive function on psychometric testing.”  However, I am suspicious that these psychologists may have performed testing under less than ideal emotional circumstances or under stressful conditions that possibly contaminate the results.

In summary, my opinion is that a bipolar patient — if treated collaboratively with appropriate medications from a perceptive yet vigilant psychiatrist working hand-in-hand with a knowledgeable therapist when co-occurring issues stay in check (anxiety, alcohol and drugs)  — can return to a level playing field.

Peter Dorsen, a retired MD, LADC, currently teaches Western medicine at the Academy of Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine in Roseville, Minnesota. He is the author of Dr D’s Handbook For Men Over 40: Living, Loving in the Prime of Life, a contributor with Patch Adams to Being a Father (Mothering Magazine), The Vikings Change the Play Against Alcohol and Other Dangerous Drugs (Fairview Press), and more than 100 freelance articles on diverse human interest topics.

In trying to find and keep my own sanity, and in trying to assist hundreds of others solve problems in living, I’ve found value from dipping into five wells for emotional health. Balance means dipping into different wells for sustenance. My wells are not everyone’s wells. I can only speak to mine, yet I believe there is some universality to them.

The Health Well. This includes eating healthy foods and doing some kind of regular exercise — so you just plain feel better. Minimizing or eliminating dangerous substances is important. Adopt positive self statements, such as, “I am okay the way I am. If I decide to improve myself in any way, I will do it.”

The Intellectual Well. This includes being a student of something that interests you. Following one’s curiosities and wonderments can lead to keeping the mind fresh and vital. If you have skill, be a teacher.

The Spiritual Well. This well includes people who do not believe in a God  or a Higher Power and extends into humility and gratitude. Be humble and thankful to a higher power or at least to those in your life whom you need and love.

The Interactional Well. We are social creatures. There is no substitute for face-to-face interaction. A group is greater than the sum of its parts. No one person can provide you with everything you need as a human being. Following curiosity often leads to like-minded and valued others, which can lead to fun experiences. Bring  closer the people who support and love you. Keep further away the people who contribute to a sick feeling in your stomach.

The Ethics and Values Well. Identify what is important to you as a person. Included here are how I treat others, what is okay with me, and what is not okay with me. Keep the list short. One of the greatest of all human challenges is living according to ones values consistently over time.

Dipping into all of these wells requires self discipline. Discipline means doing. Discipline refers to figuring out how to dip into all of these wells on a regular basis. It means developing healthy patterns of behavior and sticking to them, until you decide to alter them. Discipline includes tolerating the discomfort and stress of facing newness while trying to meet ones needs.

Finally, dipping into these wills means filling the gaps, which refers to challenging the monotony of dissatisfying comfort. Life is okay, but why am I so agitated? I am busy trying to satisfy myself, yet I am so hungry, and what am I hungry for?  The solution here is  identifying what is missing, and then taking action to dip into that well.

Part of my training as an Episcopal priest was to go through a summer of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE).  I accomplished this as an intern at a state mental hospital in Texas. Years later, I advanced my education to become a supervisor in CPE, and did so at a large federal mental hospital in Washington, DC.

My training assigned me to several wards, some of which were coed, and others one-gender. In this article I noted some of the key differences between them.

If I had been blindfolded and a door opened that would take me into a men’s ward,  I would have known from the sound which ward I was on. Men’s wards were noisier. While many women seemed to be completely absorbed in their own thoughts, men were more likely to be active, moving, or in conversation with other patients.

This is an interesting observation against the widely held view that women talk more than men. Maybe there is something about being a patient that brings out the activity and words in men while directing women toward the interior life.

I saw several men restrained, but very few women. Restraining is a big issue in mental health hospital care. Mmost enlightened professionals see it as a last resort in preventing a patient from harming self or others. The frustration that many mentally ill people feel in comprehending their world and their situations sometimes results in physical attack. The men in my sample seemed especially prone to this.

Suicide and suicide attempts are another factor in managing mental illness. While more women attempt suicide, more men succeed (if suicide can be called success). Men have access to weapons more than do women. If a troubled man suggests suicide, the possibility that he will follow through is very real.

In brief, my observation was that fewer men were admitted to the mental hospital, but the ones who there were seriously ill. Men may seek medical care less readily than women, and men may have more cultural freedom to set boundaries and make alternative choices.

Men aren’t necessarily any crazier than women, but the form and result of being crazy may differ, as in most other areas of life.

Steve Norcross is an Episcopal priest, the director of pastoral services at William Temple House, and the Priest-in-Charge at Ascension Parish. He is married with two grown children and a granddaughter on the way. His blog is at Snorx.wordpress.com.

If like a thief in the night, I were to break
into your heart — what would I find there?
Precious gems tucked away beneath velveteen

cloth, ethereal ancestral songs, and deeper still—
a longing to know your own Creator; the one
who through alchemy’s mystery transformed

the very essence of you into a gift golden.

If you broke into mine, what would you find
beneath the layers?  You would find the most
valued treasure of all— yourself enfolded

within the rhythms of each beat by beat
of my own being.

For you see, I have kept you tucked away,
waiting all of these years, just for you
to discover.

Now that you have, I am at peace…

Paul Goldman has been published by such literary sites as kansaspoets.com, stonespiritlodge.com, evolvingmagazine.com, artiststhelpingthehomeless.org, and various midwest literary journals.  His facebook page is called Wild Joy, named for his forthcoming spoken-word CD, Wild Joy Released.

A husky child, that was me.  Ample.  Hefty.  Beefy.

In that by-gone time, children were a non-descript, average-size.  On the other hand, I was conspicuous, distinct. My separation from the preponderance of my classmates — indelible, clear-as-a-bell, plain as white bread, obvious as a raisin in oatmeal — was stitched into the waistband of my dungarees. There lived the word that defined so much of my childhood: “Husky.”

Trundled by mom through the clothing aisles at Sears, past the racks of “small,” through “medium,” and around “large” to the destination of “Husky.”

I don’t know if they have a “Husky” aisle today at Sears or anywhere else. Back then, Husky was about as appealing for a kid to be as a Communist. A dose of castor oil, lima beans for dinner, or, God forbid, fruitcake were more desirable!

Being Husky made me cannon fodder for the ridiculers, the deriders, the humiliators, the mockers, and the teasers. At the bus stop, on the playground, in the classroom, “Husky” was a constant challenge.

How could such a tiny, inconspicuous clothing label printed in Hong Kong wield such power over my life?  I don’t know.  Maybe it wasn’t just the “Husky” label.  Maybe it was the pejorative cocktail brewed with Husky — an attitude, and a name of Peter Perkins — a name ripe for rhyme and puns. Porky Pig.  Peter Potamus.  Pee Pee.

Looking back, I see I didn’t handle it well.  No water rolled off this duck’s back. No porcine other cheek was turned.  No let ‘em eat cake.  No taking my ball and going home.

No, I met the challenge with fists, chairs, and rocks.  I launched preemptive strikes. I was a commando of self-preservation, living alone in the Alamo. Eventually overrun, my defenses were breached.

I was hemmed in by a mainstream culture that did not acknowledge my challenges, my emotional fragility.  I realize now that I fueled the fire of the antagonists, pumped the billows of the flamers, danced around waving a huge banner for all to see that said, “Kick me! Give me your problems. I am not worthy. One-stop shopping for all of your scapegoat needs.”  This was an exhausting way to grow up.

I am somewhat better now, favoring “one-size-fits-all.”  Will I ever be “Husky” again?  Only if I’m pulling a sled.

Peter Perkins is a writer, educator, chef, geologist, and entrepreneur. Keenly aware of issues involving mental health, he currently works with men in 12-Step recovery, Peer-to-Peer Empowerment, and community outreach. Peter is compiling a book of autobiographical essays documenting the struggle, pain and success in his life.

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“Master what is in front of you.”
— author unknown, believed to be a Buddhist saying

My focus has always tended to be “future” oriented, my mind on what’s coming up next. I’ve subscribed to the idea that somehow the future will always be better,  no matter what’s in front of me. My “focus” is already on the next page, three blocks down the road.

I could excuse myself astrologically and say that I have a lot of “fire” (sovereign) energy, that the nature of “fire” to be future oriented. Excuses aside, however, the universe or creation gives me each moment either “to be” in it or “to do” something with it, and maybe both.

This parallels some of Eckhart Tolle’s thinking in his work. The Power of Now. Without getting too abstractly philosophical, I choose  to “master what is in front of me.” My awareness has been placed in a certain time, place and circumstance of creation.

How much “I” have created my own reality and how much it has been created for me to witness and to experience is metaphysically debatable. Regardless of my own reality’s underlying cause, I can be sure that what’s on my plate in front of my nose is on my plate in front of my nose. That is what is being served hot right now.

My choice seems to lie in the freedom to be present and engaged with whatever each moment presents, or I can check out into some “imaginary future’ that may or may not happen. If I keep “checking out,” escaping what is in front of me, how much of my life’s opportunity to be fully conscious in what is being presented do I miss?

I once was  a subscriber to a life mission that was altruistic, benevolent, compassionate, and in service to others. How solid and true are altruism, benevolence, and compassion without rooted presence? If I am focused on some ideal, how much do I miss of what is real?

I believe that vision and goals are a necessary part of the way we are made.  I know that they may be anchored in something heartfelt. Perhaps more of a challenge than the lofty thought is to be heartfelt feeling around what is right in front of me.

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Psychoanalysis is the father of psychotherapy as we know it today. Every form of therapy, even an overtly non-therapeutic personal growth experience like MKP, owes its existence to Sigmund Freud and psychoanalysis. In the nine years since my first MKP weekend in 2001, I’ve noticed that few people know about the forgotten psychoanalytic “grandparents” of MKP.

Actually, the emotional, psychological and spiritual work in MKP borrows significantly from Freud and his intellectual descendants. I’d like to introduce some of these grandparents and some of the ideas that we have borrowed.

Freud’s most important idea was that people have an unconscious. The unconscious is everything that happens in the mind of which we are not aware.

Freud divided the mind into three different functions. The source of our desires was the “Id.” The source of urges to contain our desires was the “Superego.” The third function, the “Ego,” mediates between the other two, so we can function in society.

We generally are not aware of the conflicts between these aspects of the mind. These conflicts arise in maladaptive behaviors, such as unbridled aggression, addiction, depression, or anxiety. Thus, every time a man engages in transformational growth work in MKP, which allows him to learn something new about his emotional world, he engages in a bit of psychoanalysis.

Psychoanalysis, in its most narrow definition, is an intensive form of psychotherapy in which the therapist (analyst) and the patient meet 3-5 times per week. The patient typically reclines on a couch and says whatever comes into his head. The therapist is positioned behind the head of the couch, outside of the patient’s visual field. The frequency and positioning are elements of the treatment that make it a regressive experience for the patient.

In psychoanalysis, the patient is likely to have emotional echoes of outside relationships intrude upon his experience of the therapy relationship — an intrusion that presents an opportunity for growth. Sometimes this relationship feels more nurturing than the relationships in which emotional wounds occurred. Consequently, the therapy relationship may become a healing experience for the patient. Sometimes the therapy relationship brings up negative emotional reactions, in which case therapy may help the patient understand past emotional experiences and to heal through insight into these.

To Freud, healing occurred when a person became aware of conflict that had previously been unconscious. The central feature of MKP  growth work is that it gives the man an opportunity to become aware of something that had previously been unconscious. MKP’s mission overlaps significantly with the mission of psychoanalysis.MKP uses tools made possible by a century of psychoanalytic thinking and practice.

Let’s take a look at a few other analysts whose work enhanced Freud’s concepts and have contributed greatly to the work we do in MKP.

Carl Jung was a psychoanalyst and a disciple of Freud until their relationship ruptured over differences in theory and philosophy. One of Jung’s important concepts is the idea of the “shadow,” The shadow is Jung’s way of talking about an aspect of self that that Freud called the Id. During the MKP training, men are given an opportunity to touch their shadow — the part of themselves they hide, suppress or deny — as a step toward personal and spiritual growth.

Melanie Klein was a British analyst who founded a sub-school within the psychoanalytic tradition called “object relations.” From this point of view, people form their personalities as children by taking in emotional images of important others, especially parents.

Imagine a man named Tom who can’t control his rage at his wife. In his work during the New Warrior weekend, as his digs into his life story, he may discover that he’s re-enacting his father raging at his mother or at him.

From the Kleinian perspective, when Tom was a boy, his raging father was a “bad object.” Tom “internalized” this “object” and made it part of himself. Thirty years later, after he gets married. for unconscious reasons, Tom rages at his wife about things too insignificant to  account for the intensity of his emotions. During his weekend, Tom gains insight about his inner workings, his wounds, the perpetuation of pain from the past. He has a healing emotional experience.

Wilfred Bion was a British analyst who was analyzed by Melanie Klein. Bion is best known for his writings on group dynamics, which influenced all subsequent group psychotherapy and personal growth groups like MKP.

Bion also wrote about the function of “containing,” which occurs in groups and individuals. A “container” is a place or situation in which previously unbearable emotions are experienced as bearable. In a safe container, a man can allow himself to experience his feelings and gain insight about the emotions and their triggers. We serve as our own containers when we talk ourselves down from panic, anxiety, and fear.

Finally, we come to Donald Winnicott, a British physician and psychoanalyst who also was analyzed by Melanie Klein. Winnicott is best known for his writing about the true and false selves. In MKP, we try to gain access to our true selves, the part of us that is most authentic and emotionally engaged.

Winnicott also wrote about the “holding” that a mother does of her infant. It’s an emotional and physical experience of safety for the child. An important part of the concept is that the mother — if she’s emotionally healthy — knows instinctively that she needs to let go of her emotional and physical “holding” as her child grows, so the child learns independence. Holding is perilous. If the mother doesn’t “hold” the child, he can get one type of wound, yet if she can’t relax her “hold” later, he can get another type of wound.

Winnicott’s idea of “holding” reminds us of the important maternal-feminine-nurturing aspect of what happens when MKP members “hold the space” for other men in training weekends and NKMP’s ongoing integration support groups, called “I-groups.”  When the ground rules to create emotional safety are not clearly followed withing an I-group, for instance, I’ve seen men unable to proceed because the container did not feel safe enough for them to be vulnerable.

One way of taking responsibility for our work within MKP is to cultivate a deeper understanding of the ideas that were integrated into our organization’s culture, rituals and practices. Therefore, I’d like to thank the forgotten psychoanalytic grandfathers and grandmothers who devoted their lives and energies to healing people. They indirectly gave us the tools with which we do our most powerful growth work.

Joseph Jeral is a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst practicing in the Foggy Bottom neighborhood of Washington, DC. H completed his training as a psychoanalyst at the Washington Center for Psychoanalysis.

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1. Remove Caffeine
The reason coffee and caffeinated drinks give you a boost is because they stimulate glands in your body causing your heart rate to increase while initiating the fight or flight response.  This response is the same one that causes your body to react when you are charged by an angry grizzly bear. Professor James Lane from Duke Medical Center said, “Moderate caffeine consumption makes a person react like he/she is having a very stressful day. If you combine the effects of real stress with the artificial boost in stress hormones that comes from caffeine, then you have compounded the effects considerably.” Giving your system a shot of espresso is akin to injecting yourself with an artificial dose of fear.

2. Stay Away From The News
News stories are sensationalized and designed to create fear in you. I heard this headline from my local TV news the other night, “Could your kitchen sponge be a deadly threat to your family’s health?”  I tuned in, watched the story on how deadly bacteria could grow on my old sponge, and then I watched the other 15 or so reports of fire, earthquakes, police beatings, rip-offs, plane crashes, school shootings, job layoffs, increasing taxes, government corruption, and so on.  By the end of the hour, I was curled up in the corner sucking my thumb crying for Momma. Then I looked out the window and realized that the world hadn’t really come to an end after all.

3. Stop Fantasizing Negatively About The Future
Most fear is created in your mind by fantasizing that some future event is going to hurt you in some way. You probably have had fear about losing your job, your kids being hurt, your spouse being angry at you, and things like that.  When you imagine situations going poorly for you, you get anxious. Mark Twain said, “I have known a great many troubles in my life, but most of them never happened.”

4. Slow Down Your Mind
Modern life can be very hectic, which is mainly because you cram too much into it and take the approach, “I have to hurry to get it all done.” When you overbook your life, you’re likely going to experience more fear because you aren’t going to be able to keep all those commitments. When you don’t keep your commitments, you start to beat yourself down by saying to yourself, “You’re not good enough; you’re not doing enough; you should be doing more!”

5. Stop Judging Situations
When you go through your day’s events deciding whether or not a situation is good or bad, this is going to stress you out. The problem with judging situations is that you don’t really know what is good or bad for you in the big picture. I once had an extremely painful breakup with a woman, and at the time I thought it was the worst, most horribly bad thing that could happen to me.  A short time later, I couldn’t have been more grateful.  If you just let life happen without putting your opinion on it, you can be calm and centered like a Zen master.

6. Listen To Your Body
When your body gives you messages, listen to it. If you’re hungry  — eat well; if you feel tired — sleep more. The National Sleep Foundation says that more than 50 percent of Americans are suffering from some sort of sleep deprivation.  That’s more than 100 million adults who are on edge from not being fully rested.  Sleep and nutrition form the body’s recovery system; listen to your body.

7. Practice Self-Love
Self-love is about taking care of yourself as you would someone else you love. It’s about not bad-talking to yourself with your own thoughts. It’s about taking good care of your body, allowing yourself to be with whatever emotions your feel, realizing and connecting to your Spiritual Source. By taking on the mindset and intention to be self-loving, you are going to avoid the things that cause you stress and pursue the things that give you peace.

Implement any one of these seven practices and you’ll experience an incremental decrease in stress. Implement them all as a daily practice, and the way you feel is likely to change dramatically.

Mike Biles is the author of The Spiritual Prescription for Transforming Relationships. A counselor and speaker, he has a Master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology. For more information, visit www.mikebiles.com.

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