Fathering our daughters
by Jim Coleman
Hugging granddaughter in 2000
I’m a father with four daughters and six grandchildren — two grandsons and four granddaughters. Doing men’s personal work along with corporate training and teaching for more than two decades as a trained facilitator and workshop leader, I’ve constantly heard about how men need to be fathers to their sons. I’ve also heard a lot about women and their daughters. So I’ve been asking myself, what about us fathers who have daughters? What is our responsibility to them? What do our daughters need from us as fathers? How do fathers wound their daughters? How do we bless our daughters?
My big boy’s deepest needs: What I learned about myself as a Boys To Men mentor
By Noë Gold
On the weekend of November 8, 2008, I “went through” again.
What does that mean? you might ask. To the uninitiated, the term is meaningless. What did you go through? Where did you come from that you had to go through something to get there, and what did you find on the other side of whatever it is you went through? And, of course, would you do it again?
I called my Dad
by Keith Jarvis
On Father’s Day in 2004, I had the plan – or the idea of the plan – in the back of my mind for quite some time. I’d sent my Dad cards in previous years for Father’s Day and Christmas and even his birthday, when I could remember. I deliberately didn’t send him a card this year; I think I was trying to force myself to give him a call.
Keith and his Dad in 2003
San Diego Boys to Men conducts second father-son Rite of Passage Adventure
by George Selders
The San Diego Center of Boys To Men completed their second Father-Son Weekend this past April. Thirteen fathers attended the weekend, supporting fifteen boys as they participated in their Rite of Passage Adventure (ROPA). In one case, two young brothers were fortunate to have both their father and their grandfather present for their initiatory entry into manhood. Another father was blessed to have two sons participate together in the ROPA weekend.
Music review: ‘Translucent’ – Solo instrumental piano CD by Roth Herrlinger
by Wayne Lee
“When I sit at the piano, I open up to what will come through, and let inspiration lead as I lose myself in the music.” So says Roth Herrlinger, who has just released his first solo instrumental piano CD, “Translucent.”
The sincerity of his statement speaks volumes on the simplicity, authenticity and penetrating connectedness of Herrlinger’s music.
ManKind Project leaders plan restructuring of organization at Glen Ivy meeting
by Judah Freed
MKP leaders circle up at Glen Ivy.
In May 2009, about 25 leaders from The ManKind Project worldwide gathered at the Glen Ivy Retreat Center in Corona, California. A similar meeting at Glen Ivy in February had set the agenda for this gathering.
Over the course of four days, these men passed through an intense process of personal and group transformation that culminated in a profound rethinking about how to structure the international operations of MKP.
Poetry: My Sons
by Kit Lueder
Sometimes my sons are Children of the Sun,
Intense and radiant,
Excited and streaming with energy.
Sometimes my sons are Children of the Stars,
Steady and ever-present,
Independent and limitless.
Sometimes my sons are Children of the Moon,
Cool and distant,
Not avoiding but not reaching out.
Sometimes my sons are Children of Venus,
Affectionate and loving,
Close and considerate.
Sometimes my sons are Children of Mars,
Defiant and challenging,
Determined and strong-willed.
Report from South Africa: Drawing on personal reserves and the community
by Anthony Eldridge Rogers
In these uncertain times, I find myself sitting in the Western Cape of South Africa. Today in midwinter is cold — not cold by many standards, yet chilly for us. This current drop in temperature mirrors a drop in confidence among men and women about their collective futures. For men working to feed and sustain their families, now is a time for deeply drawing on their personal reserves and community with others, men in particular.
Three keys for fathers wanting to build a conflict-free relationship with an ex-wife
by Roy Biancalana
If you listen to the mainstream media talk about divorced dads, you would think most of us, at best, are distant and disengaged, or at worst, dangerous dead-beats. Most divorced dads I know love their kids and want the best for them.
Sure, there are men who abandon or even abuse their children, but most of us want to do everything within our power to ensure their complete well-being. To that end, although we no longer live with their mothers, we strive to be a consistent presence in their lives, not because we should, but because we authentically want to see them flourish and be happy.
The eulogy for my father: It’s easy to praise famous men
by Lex Woodbury
Knowing he was in his last days, my Dad – who never once acknowledged anything good about me on his own, given that I was failure in fulfilling his fantasy of corporate success – hobbled across the living room and told me, “Son, you’re a writer. I want you to write my eulogy.”
Dave Long’s cartoon: Father wounds
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Dave Long spent his early years in management consulting and advertising before starting a successful Milwaukee manufacturing business in 1989. He’s been drawing cartoons and writing for publications since the 1980s. Married for 25 years, he has two children and resides in Oak Creek, Wisconsin. |
Film review: Fatherhood and mentorship in “The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou”
By Morgan Toane
In Wes Anderson’s film, “The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou,” we discover the legendary oceanographer and filmmaker, Steve Zissou (Bill Murray). Now an aging, self-absorbed charlatan with his halcyon days behind him, Zissou’s critical acclaim has waned along with his production budget. The man who inspired legions of “Team Zissou” fans no longer believes in himself.
Movie poster for "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou" (Courtesy Touchstone Pictures)
Wisdom of the ages: From elderly to elder – A guide for fathers and sons
by Ken Plattner
Fathers have sons, then sons have sons. It’s been going on for a long time, and that’s the way of it. The gracious and wise father has proudly held his children, rooted for them in school and sports, disciplined them with the courage to say “no,” encouraged their dreams, and emancipated them into mature adulthood.
No paisley tie for me: What if you are not a father on Father’s Day?
by Edmond Manning
I’m not getting a Father’s Day card from my kids this year. No necktie to go with the shirt they gave me at Christmas. No new TV remote. No weeding tools for the back yard. Why not? I’m not a father.
‘New Warrior’ men make good fathers
by Steve Norcross
Once again, the third Sunday in June is Father’s Day. Greeting card publishers, clothing manufacturers, distilleries, and long-distance phone operators are hoping to realize a profit from the once-a-year obligation many feel to honor their dads. I hope my own kids, at least, call and wish me well, tell me that they love me.
I’m put in mind, this time of year, to recall and honor my fathers and grandfathers. I hope to be so honored by my descendents.
Raising children with emotional intelligence
by Harvey Deutschendorf
Raising children with a healthy degree of self regard is critical. I was raised in a family where there was a steady diet of anger, shaming and put downs, coming from both my father and brother. I’ve since passed through many years of struggle to learn what it takes to have positive self regard. Since I never gained it from my family, I had to find a way to give it to myself. Let me share with you two incidents that reveal some of the lessons I’ve learned the hard way.
Poetry: Rope swing
by Wayne Lee
Seine rope is best,
sixty-four strands of softest
Norwegian twine,
strong enough to lift
the leads and rings
up from the bottom of the sea,
high toward the power block,
lay them back down heavy
as a slumbering whale
on the afterdeck.
Seine rope makes the safest
swings, soft and strong,
made for every weather,
woven like steel –
the very best work
a father can do for his child.
————
The gift: A father’s tale in two parts
by Steven Lee Mankle
A father's blessing.
With Father’s Day upon us, I want to speak about fatherhood in two voices. One voice is the subjective observer. The other voice tells a personal story.
In this endeavor, I am deeply prompted to seek clarity within, and perhaps there will be some small nugget for you to mine as well.
The Gift of Human Birth
Dads, sports and teens: Don’t force things
by Tim O´Connor
The father-son dynamic can be tricky, as I’m sure the mother-daughter dynamic can be tricky. For smoothing out relations among the testosterone-powered beings in a household, sports are assumed to be a slam-dunk, but that’s not always the case.
I am happy both of my boys have become sports fans and active participants, but not without some bumps in the road. Their reality and my expectations often have collided.
A game of golf can unite fathers and sons.
Welcome to the Journal
Welcome to the home of The Mankind Project Journal. We hope you become a regular reader in the years ahead.
The Journal aims to serve “new warriors” and the general public. The quarterly web magazine will feature articles, essays and other works exploring diverse men’s issues. Other reports will cover MKP activities worldwide.
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The ManKind Project® is an international nonprofit education and training organization making the world safer by growing 'better' men. We support over 1000 men's groups in 10 countries around the world. Our flagship training is the New Warrior Training Adventure. Over 45,000 men have stepped out of their comfort zones to make a better life for themselves and their families.
Please support the work of the ManKind Project with a Tax Deductible Contribution.
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